Yeah, so I'm stepping up to the plate for #3. I initially had an idea for an edition devoted to Shrapnel, but now I see some buzz around doing a BIP v3.0 with Shrapnel material. So...we could still go ahead and use that theme anyway and then have Intermittens #3 sort of be a "preview" of BIP 3.0 OR we could do something entirely different. Basically, I'm volunteering to be the assembler and organizer for this one, but, I would open up the discussions as to WHAT this one should be about. Suggestions?
We've had two kind of dense issues, maybe a lighter, sillier theme?
My mind will change a zillion times, but I think the next issue I do (we're looking at February?), I'll go with the theme "The Bathroom Reader" - all submissions less than 300 words. Intent is to be goofy.
brainstorming....
other theme ideas:
Imaginary Adventures
Networks
Chaos
2012
The Weirdest People on Earth
Unlikely Happenings
Horrormirth
Stuff Not Everybody Finds Funny (but we do)
any of those spark the imagination?
Adventure, Weirdness and 2012 will be a nice counterbalance to the last issue, I think, which was somewhat srs and negative.
Really stupid question...we do have the board/website URL somewhere on these, right? I wasn't paying attention before.
Quote from: Cain on December 13, 2008, 03:05:27 PM
Adventure, Weirdness and 2012 will be a nice counterbalance to the last issue, I think, which was somewhat srs and negative.
I'm sold.
So, this is Intermittens #3 then.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 13, 2008, 03:18:03 PM
Quote from: Cain on December 13, 2008, 03:05:27 PM
Adventure, Weirdness and 2012 will be a nice counterbalance to the last issue, I think, which was somewhat srs and negative.
I'm sold.
So, this is Intermittens #3 then.
All of them? I kinda just meant one...
Weird Adventure in 2012?
Okay, so how about a central theme of Weirdness.
But, that doesn't rule out bringing the others in under that umbrella.
True. OK, I'll dig out some High Wierdness from the archives. I've got plenty enough, thats for sure.
Quote from: Cain on December 13, 2008, 03:08:17 PM
Really stupid question...we do have the board/website URL somewhere on these, right? I wasn't paying attention before.
I'm archving Intermittens at discoflux.com under the Books heading (don't have issue #2 fully posted yet). Comments can be made on each magazine page though, which might help spur discussions.
Quote from: vexati0n on December 13, 2008, 05:58:00 PM
Quote from: Cain on December 13, 2008, 03:08:17 PM
Really stupid question...we do have the board/website URL somewhere on these, right? I wasn't paying attention before.
I'm archving Intermittens at discoflux.com under the Books heading (don't have issue #2 fully posted yet). Comments can be made on each magazine page though, which might help spur discussions.
Yeah. I just wanted to know that, on the off chance people liked it (as with when Manta printed some off) they would know where to go to get more, or, if we got really lucky, wanted to help.
nop, i just checked, our URL is not in Intermittens#2.
too bad, but i suppose on the bright side, if someone wanted to know more, given the magazine, we're not that hard to find via a simple google search.
True, I just like making things easier for such people.
Anway, ideas for topics
Fortean happenings
Quantum mechanics
Strange and interesting people
Rants/writings on wierdness ("the coming weird times" etc)
Anything else?
I think we should have a funnies page. Maybe put in one or two of the WOMP-comics. OR make entirely new ones for this edition. I also have a couple of ideas for "ads" that I'll work up. Anyway, I'll probably pretty much be out of touch for the rest of the weekend, so keep the discussions going and put anything here you think appropriate or PM me ideas, or whatever.
i have an entry:
(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g213/05136/2012.png)
:lulz:
Zip, that's awesome
Intermittens 2 has the URL in RWHN's piece, but doesn't point at the forum. I'm pretty sure Intermittens 1 doesn't have it - total oversight on my part.
Also, suggestion: in Intermittens 3 we should probably explain wtf "mittens" are.
(edit to add: never mind, the forum url is on the inside cover)
We probably should, yes.
In more important news, my archive of high wierdness is collected and just needs to be assembled into text. At least now it is on my hard drive, so I can work offline. With my parents back for the holidays, they'll start getting on their "if you leave the wireless on it will overheat and explode, showering the town in radioactive isotopes" bandwagon. As if that is somehow undesirable. Anyway.
I was bored so I thought I'd do a little clip art of a memebomb I wrote a long time ago. Does this count as "weirdness"?
(http://i33.tinypic.com/5mkbk9.png)
And another for good measure:
(http://i35.tinypic.com/2nbt5q0.jpg)
Sorry for the size.
Don't mind me as I drop stuff here that seems appropriate. starting with this quote from BAHWEED/Hoopla.
Quote from: BAWHEED on January 16, 2006, 02:12:27 AM
If the universe has no end, then the asshole is everywhere.
I may offer a nano excerpt.
Here's an old piece of mine. This submission, if accepted, should be placed on an image of a yellow index card:
The instructions to the central nervous system are as follows:
(hand written on a yellow index card)
+Interpret humanlike physical appearance accompanied by humanlike behavior
=as evidence of Humanity.
+Interpret your internal monologue
=as your own thoughts
&and not{
#radio transmissions from the overmind
#psychic archetypal communications from Speaker of the House Carl Jung
(the hand writing on the index card is yours)
#extrapolations of circuit activity within your positronic processing brain unit}
+Defend current pedestrian belief in reality or current eigenstate
&tools{
#classification of breach as something --not salient or significant
#classification of breach as insanity --not attributable to <+>
#[delta] attention; delete breach from memory
!++Put this card back in your wallet and forget that you took it out
I like the weirdness theme. Great idea.
I am about halfway through with this issue's Whoroscope column, and I have just begun to write an article called "Lord of the Dance," which features a performance from a homeless, old African American man who waltzes and does the robot on the street corner every time it rains*. Hopefully this will fit the criteria for weirdness.
*I did not make this up; the guy really exists.
Considering my possible entry to this volume, entitled "Dream Theater."
Basically, I've been having some really weird dreams lately, like, over the past few months, so I thought I'd try and interpret them, as best I can, using the Interwebs for advice and help.
I should be ready to start writing it properly in a couple of days.
Opinions? Thoughts?
Tahh :)
Opinon: Don't name it after a crap art-metal band.
Quote from: LMNO on December 15, 2008, 07:38:47 PM
Opinon: Don't name it after a crap art-metal band.
Fine.
I'll try and be original, and play with the title.
To be fair, I don't really like Dream Theater, it's just their name came to mind.
At The Drive In?
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 15, 2008, 07:42:13 PM
At The Drive In?
I was considering Cheese Dreams, or something involving Cheese.
Memoirs of a Cheese Dreamer?
Quote from: The Borderline Simpleton on December 15, 2008, 07:54:58 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 15, 2008, 07:42:13 PM
At The Drive In?
I was considering Cheese Dreams, or something involving Cheese.
Memoirs of a Cheese Dreamer?
"Gouda Dreams"?
"Lactose-Tolerant"?
"Nightmares and Monterey"?
"Visions of Velveeta"?
"A Savory Slice of Sleeping"?
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 15, 2008, 08:20:32 PM
Quote from: The Borderline Simpleton on December 15, 2008, 07:54:58 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 15, 2008, 07:42:13 PM
At The Drive In?
I was considering Cheese Dreams, or something involving Cheese.
Memoirs of a Cheese Dreamer?
"Gouda Dreams"?
"Lactose-Tolerant"?
"Nightmares and Monterey"?
"Visions of Velveeta"?
"A Savory Slice of Sleeping"?
Lactose-Tolerant seems cool to me ;)
There seems to be lots of online material to help with this, so I shall probably start tomorrow or the day after.
"Do Sheep Dream of Organic Androids?"
I am writing a column called "Weirdness in the Strange Times". It's about 3/4ths done.
RWHN, when I finish, do you want it posted here, or for me to PM it to you?
QuoteIronically, there's no weirdness left in the Strange Times. It all disappeared when it became commonplace. So many people are defining their own norms that there is no abnormal anymore. We're eclectically ecstatic, subculturally pragmatic.
Here should be fine. In fact, anything anyone thinks should go in should go in here.
:lulz:
Jenne and I are tossing some stuff around!
:lmnuendo:
MILFS I'd like to F
Not certain if this is weird enough, but I would like to submit this:
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=11564.msg359414#msg359414 (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=11564.msg359414#msg359414)
Here is the Western Zodiac for this issue. I will work on the Discordian one - as well as the Discordian Sign descriptions - shortly. I forget what I said I was going to make the Discordian signs this issue, so if anyone wants to throw out five random things, I'll go with whichever is first or funniest, whichever comes second.
Anyway, here it is:
Whoroscope
by Manta Obscura
Your Birthday Today
Congratulations on being born and surviving long enough to read this! As a celebration of the miracle of your birth, call up a condom company's customer service line and thank them for making a product just faulty enough to allow your conception.
Aries
March 21-April 19
The emerging presence of greenhouse gases have affected the power of astrological configurations. This month you would have gotten a pay raise, won the lottery and had a sexual orgy with three timid-but-adventuresome twenty-somethings. But thanks to your Land Rover you get a ticket for jaywalking, a repossessed car and a case of the clap.
Taurus
April 20-May 20
You have never satisfied your lover sexually, and they are waiting until after Valentine's Day to dump you so they can benefit from the full present-giving experience.
Don't put too much effort into those "free erotic massage" coupons.
Gemini
May 21-June 20
I see what you did there. Stop reading this in the bathroom and have some self-respect.
Cancer
June 21-July 22
Your sign still sucks. Seriously, kill yourself.
Leo
July 23-August 22
It's not yours. Let's just say that she gets a special deal on home-delivered dairy products.
Virgo
August 23-September 22
My spiritual guides are telling me to tell you that now is the time to take chances with new start-up business endeavors. I say go for it. I mean, hell, it's not my money, what do I care?
Libra
September 23-October 22
The lack of success you have with romantic relationships has less to do with the exerted power of astrological bodies upon your life, and more to do with the fact that you're an insecure, domineering asshole.
Scorpio
October 23-November 21
On December 31, 2012, the world is going to come to an end. For serious. Nostradamus predicted it and shit.
Tell your friends.
Sagittarius
November 22-December 21
Stop making jokes about fruitcake during the holiday season. Just. Fucking. Stop. It.
That shit is good.
Capricorn
December 22-January 19
The homeless guy on the corner of Fifth and Vine is the spiritual advisor you've been searching for. Go and meet him.
The code phrase is, "If it's yellow, let it mellow."
Aquarius
January 20-February 18
You and everyone you love will one day die and rot in the ground, never knowing any permanent joy or obtaining the oft-sought Paradise for which you'd hoped. As your body crumbles and society's memory of you slips away, the stars shall ever shine their cold light upon your cursed descendents, who will walk the earth with the same futile hopes you once held in this godless universe.
Have a nice day.
Pisces
February 19-March 20
You're astrological sign's name can be rearranged to spell "spices." This is widely-regarded as the only interesting or noteworthy thing that can be claimed about anyone born under this sign.
Quote from: Khara on December 17, 2008, 08:55:23 PM
:lulz:
Jenne and I are tossing some stuff around!
Any suggestions you guys? Cramulamulous, that one inspired me to think of cougars...but how would that tie into "...as a mother..."?
QuoteI forget what I said I was going to make the Discordian signs this issue, so if anyone wants to throw out five random things, I'll go with whichever is first or funniest, whichever comes second.
Yeti
Tube Sock
Preacher
Fairy
Republican
Quote from: HOOPLA on December 17, 2008, 09:47:54 PM
Not certain if this is weird enough, but I would like to submit this:
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=11564.msg359414#msg359414 (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=11564.msg359414#msg359414)
I really, really like that piece.
maybe ill finally write that pention
or
blackmail a few yeti to get some more Dobbs weirdness tossed into kopyleft
Quote from: YattoDobbs on December 18, 2008, 09:02:35 AM
maybe ill finally write that pention
or
blackmail a few yeti to get some more Dobbs weirdness tossed into kopyleft
I think you should do an advice column.
No really.
Dear YattoDobbs,
my aunt is a timetraveller from the future, and she keeps trying to use our historybooks against me. i want to tell her but :?
Quote from: vexati0n on December 18, 2008, 04:20:47 AM
QuoteI forget what I said I was going to make the Discordian signs this issue, so if anyone wants to throw out five random things, I'll go with whichever is first or funniest, whichever comes second.
Yeti
Tube Sock
Preacher
Fairy
Republican
Quite awesome, Vex. I shall use those.
Repost from my Whoroscope thread:
Discordian Whoroscope finished!
Note: I have made changes to this one. Last issue I made the Discordian Whoroscope pretty close to the Western one, and both just ended up being sort of silly. This time around, I tried making the Discordian one have more of a sincere message giving actual advice, but in a (hopefully) interesting way.
The descriptions of the Discordian signs are still silly. Thanks to vex for picking them out.
Discordian Whoroscope
by Manta Obscura
Yeti
January 1 – May 26
As we head into the new year, make note of the fact that the beginning of the Gregorian calendar year is an arbitrary designation and, as such, there is no reason to commit yourself to giving up booze/smoking/other wholesome vices for your resolution just yet. Wait until the Chinese New Year and live it up during the cold, hard January.
Tube Sock
May 27 – May 29
Correlation does not equal causation. The news poll on Channel 5 is lying to you.
Preacher
May 30 – August 16
Once, in a fit of mysticism-induced euphoria or something, I bought a copy of Lao Tse's "Tao Te Ching." Turning to a random page, I read the horribly translated phrase, "The Tao that can be taoed is not the true Tao."
The moral of the story: all the wisdom of the sages means nothing if it is not made relevant to your life or what you can understand.
Fairy
August 17 – December 23; December 26 – December 31
Once and forever upon a time, there was a man who was born, lived, died, and was then forgotten.
Don't let it be you.
Republican
December 24 – December 25
You won't find what you're looking for here. Put the paper down and go for a walk. Tap your toes to music. Smile at strangers. Learn to dance.
Yeti
Those born under the sign of the Yeti tend to be musically-inclined and lovers of art. Though sometimes brash and quick-tempered, their delicate analytical skills help to balance their passionate tendencies.
Tube Sock
Tube Socks are often what others would call "oddballs," both figuratively and literally. As such, they tend to behave in strange ways, and often have inferiority complexes relating to their genitalia.
Preacher
Preachers are generally quiet and introverted, preferring quiet, logical analysis to outspoken idealism. This can sometimes lead to conflicts with the more zealous Yetis.
Fairy
Fairies are mythological creatures who owe their loyalty to Maab, Titania and Auberon, among others. They love having stories written about them, and have a special fetish for Lewis Carroll and J.M. Barre.
Republican
By dint of their birthday, Republicans are all symbolically connected to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and are thus impervious to all forms of physical attack except martyrdom.
Final piece, I swear. It's still a bit rough, so I'll have to go back over it:
Lord of the Dance
by Manta Obscura
Two blocks from my home, at the corner of First and Main, lives the greatest artist in all the world. He lives in a cardboard hut set behind a crumbling stone pillar in a never-to-be-finished park project, his thin tenement decked with random marker scratches, holes, and a moth-eaten old bed sheet covering the portal.
Each day as I drive by in my metal coffin, I see him laying on his belly, staring out at traffic with a half-smirk, his lips moving almost imperceptively, as if he were counting the seconds until some nebulous appointment only he was aware of.
For a long time after arriving in the city, I felt bad for the man, wondering how hard it was to live outside, clad in the cold of night and the darkness of broken city lights. Daydream thoughts at how he had come to be there would flicker through my mind, saddening me.
On one occasion, filled with pity, I tried to help him, bringing him food to him in an old lunch sack at midday.
"Sir, here's some food for you, if you'd like it."
He looked up at me and shook his head, smiling. "No thank you. I have everything I need."
* * *
Three days later it was raining.
Driving to work through the heavy downpour, trying to avoid the choking traffic snarls in front of me and cursing my luck at falling behind a red light, I almost missed the sight out my driver's window:
The man had arisen, for the first time in all the days since I'd seen him. As the rain poured down about him, and the wind clawed at his heavy coat, he stood erect on the sidewalk, unperturbed and doing the unthinkable.
He danced.
Not clever or elegant dances, to be sure. His jigs were bastard semblances of long-forgotten grooves, part Robot, part jitterbug, part random heel shuffling to a tune that only he could hear. He threw his hands into the air, holding them aloft one moment and stiffening them to his side the next. The chaotic swinging of his torso, his hips, his neck, matched the visceral turns and twists of his ankles and wrists one moment, and in the next lost all sense of rhythm and order.
As the rain kept pouring down, he continued to dance, spinning one moment and sliding the next. The laughs and jeers of drivers stuck in front of and behind me were audible, condescending, yet still he danced. His chest could be seen heaving, lurching, drawing in lively breaths for his kinetic art.
The light turned green, and I was forced forward by the push and pull behind and before me. As I went, looking back through my rearview mirror, I saw one last image of him laughing, bursting forth with a mighty and merry chuckle as he spun and twirled in the rainy morning light.
* * *
Only on days with rain. He didn't dance on any other days, try as I may to catch him at it.
I do not know what he did for food – something, for he rejected my offers – and I do not know what he did for diversion with his long days, laying belly-down in the dust. I only know that every time it rains, there he is on the street corner, nimbly dancing around the insults of passing drivers and pedestrians, smiling and laughing to himself with a throaty guffaw that pierces through the clamor and the clang of rain.
When I see him, I wonder what his story is, what impels him to dance for strangers or for himself, to turn away food, to lay content on his belly in the dirt. I wonder whether his seeming madness is truly madness, or is induced by a decision hidden behind folds of memory and experience, a madness cloaked in a passion that we cannot see.
And why only in the rain?
On days when I see him dancing, I always make the time to take a short walk during my meager lunch break from my cubicle prison. I stroll the sidewalks, looking at passing cars and smeary storefront windowpanes as I walk the streets of the bustling city.
The one clue I've found to the man's madness is in these rainy walks. As the city bustles and turns, a giant hive of clattering engines and faceless drones in dim-lit shops, I notice that the rain and puddled pools coat the ground, the walls, the lampposts, the cars . . . everything. Soggy and wet, covered with a thin sheen of falling water, the tools of the hive – the cars, the buildings, the thousand umbrellas of be-suited executives racing to their hovels – seem to reflect the dim glow of light that issues from the encroaching clouds.
When I am walking just to walk, not focused on where I'm going but, instead, where I am, the whole of the wet-washed city seems to sparkle, just a little. The water catches the light and lets it go, like a small child with fireflies on a summer's eve.
And all the rat-race millions – stuck in their cars and huddled beneath their umbrellas, or walking head down toward looming buildings, or whispering savagely on handheld phones – they miss the tiny sparkles and the soft silver spears that breed on the metal of the urban land, drowned rats rushing to dreary nests in the dark.
It's enough to make you laugh, or maybe dance.
http://namcub.accela-labs.com/stories/ebooks/MITTENS/21st%20century%20barbelith.txt
http://namcub.accela-labs.com/stories/ebooks/MITTENS/aum-ega.txt
May be too weird to be an article, but they could be used as something in the background maybe.
Also: http://namcub.accela-labs.com/stories/ebooks/ravenhurst.txt
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 18, 2008, 11:12:22 AM
I think you should do an advice column.
No really.
my take on it would be to borrow someones "weird" advice (maybe look in the dear abbies)
and make side comments like Joel Robinson and crew or maybe Adam Carolla like
Maybe have 'normal' questions with seemingly batshit insane responses that in retrospect make sense?
If you want to get some actual questions,
and involve more Discordians in this thing,
I reccommend posting a blurb at 23ae.com and the popular Discordian LJ group
you'll get some letters
it might be L.oveshade, but it's a response
That was utterly beautiful, Manta.
fine ill register at 23ae
ask... who tho
oh uhhh actually I can register you
PM me what username you want
Quote from: Cramulus on December 20, 2008, 05:30:42 PM
I reccommend posting a blurb at 23ae.com
http://23ae.com/index.asp?post=462
fail text but should get better comments in return in theory....
did the same for the space monkey cabels
except each message was like a fortune cookie
has anybody googled "intermittens"?
what the fuck?
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/diabetes+intermittens
lousy diabetics :argh!:
Yes. If you go to the 2nd or 3rd page you will see it is part of the scientific name for some critter. And Frondicus Intermittens, or something like that.
Quote from: Nigel on December 21, 2008, 12:36:39 AM
That was utterly beautiful, Manta.
Thank you, Nigel. :)
My apologies for not replying sooner; I was away all weekend, and today I feel like someone has shoved an immersion blender into my ear canal.
Quote from: Cramulus on December 22, 2008, 03:45:01 PM
has anybody googled "intermittens"?
what the fuck?
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/diabetes+intermittens
lousy diabetics :argh!:
(http://alec.3rdc.com/diabeetus.jpg)
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 22, 2008, 03:46:27 PM
Yes. If you go to the 2nd or 3rd page you will see it is part of the scientific name for some critter. And Frondicus Intermittens, or something like that.
Agromyza intermittens (http://www.nhm.ac.uk/research-curation/research/projects/british-insect-mines/database/Checklist.do?pg=cl&flyId=28)
Quote from: Cramulus on December 22, 2008, 03:45:01 PM
has anybody googled "intermittens"?
what the fuck?
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/diabetes+intermittens
lousy diabetics :argh!:
That is is so poetically beautiful!
I'm fucking OUTRAGED
why are DIABETICS taking our magazine names and getting all up in our shit?
I say no more!
We need to form a pention to end the diabetic threat.
something about :fuckoff:
http://namcub.accela-labs.com/stories/ebooks/poetry/Noise-vessel-monochrome.txt
HEY GUISE IS THIS WIERD ENUFF
:lulz:
Considering it's the January issue, perhaps we could add a bonus calendar? If so,
http://download342.mediafire.com/hmmjdbv6iylg/ddnkojyk4mi/AnnusDiscordia3175.pdf
Quote from: Rurouzaru on December 24, 2008, 03:40:32 AM
Considering it's the January issue, perhaps we could add a bonus calendar? If so,
http://download342.mediafire.com/hmmjdbv6iylg/ddnkojyk4mi/AnnusDiscordia3175.pdf
This is displaying an "Invalid File" message for me, Rurou. Is it just my comp?
Quote from: Manta Obscura on December 24, 2008, 02:01:02 PM
Quote from: Rurouzaru on December 24, 2008, 03:40:32 AM
Considering it's the January issue, perhaps we could add a bonus calendar? If so,
http://download342.mediafire.com/hmmjdbv6iylg/ddnkojyk4mi/AnnusDiscordia3175.pdf
This is displaying an "Invalid File" message for me, Rurou. Is it just my comp?
Nope.
I get "invalid file" too.
It 404's first, as well.
:?
:?
hrm, I'll check it out.
I'm guessing it's adobe, so I'll start there. What version y'all have?
I have Acrobat 8 pro, and Reader 9.
:pax: plenty of questions (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=18961)
my questions tho,
how much space should i set as my goal?
format wise? questions and answer scattered like footnotes or do i get bonafide space
theres alot of questions (see above url) should I save some for issue 4 :lulz: or 5 :?
when is the deadline? even tho i probally will be done with these tomorrow, but then edit the crap out of them until they are actually worth reading
I have an Idea for Weirdness. It might take some time to get together, though. How long do I have?
Quote from: LMNO on December 26, 2008, 02:11:52 PM
I have an Idea for Weirdness. It might take some time to get together, though. How long do I have?
Hey, it's me. You've got plenty of time. :D
:thanks: :lulz:
groups will be awarded points based on questions asked and laughted at
fails will be mocked and explained into the dirt road taht used to have a horse
sure editors of the mag have email for submittions or here ta good da
Okay, so the next few days are going to be a bit crazy for me professionally. I'm moving into a new office and helping to move out of the old office over the next few days. I am tentatively shooting for having this puppy published by the end of January. So, I'd say if you've been wanting to submit something, and haven't yet, to try to get it wrapped up by the end of the 2nd week of January. You can PM it if you want or just lay it down here. I'll find it either way.
My piece will hopefully be complete by early next week. I have, uh, commitments and stuff.
would you say you have "comittens"?
Not really in a joking mood now, sorry. People are purposefully wasting my time while I am trying to complete a research proposal, and since very few of these positions are ever available, I can see it as nothing more than a calculated attempt to make sure I don't get a job. Normally I'd beat such people senseless, but since I am reliant on them for food and shelter, this isn't currently an option.
:sad:
Quote from: Cain on December 29, 2008, 02:47:25 PM
Not really in a joking mood now, sorry. People are purposefully wasting my time while I am trying to complete a research proposal, and since very few of these positions are ever available, I can see it as nothing more than a calculated attempt to make sure I don't get a job. Normally I'd beat such people senseless, but since I am reliant on them for food and shelter, this isn't currently an option.
Good luck on your proposal, Cain.
Good luck, Cain, I feel your pain.
...
I seriously didn't intend for that to rhyme.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 29, 2008, 02:06:39 PM
Okay, so the next few days are going to be a bit crazy for me professionally. I'm moving into a new office and helping to move out of the old office over the next few days. I am tentatively shooting for having this puppy published by the end of January. So, I'd say if you've been wanting to submit something, and haven't yet, to try to get it wrapped up by the end of the 2nd week of January. You can PM it if you want or just lay it down here. I'll find it either way.
I'll be able to start writing mine just after New Years, I have all kinds of shit going on at the moment with family and whatever...
i plan on doing the same format for my other 2 parts of questions,
a few questions i already have slated for number four, and letters to the editor talking about them for 5
ill work on some mock up to make it easier for formats. intro then the large paragraph then the rest will be almost like one lines that can be put into spare white space
ill see if i cant find some rubber stamps for ya n cram
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 29, 2008, 02:06:39 PM
Okay, so the next few days are going to be a bit crazy for me professionally. I'm moving into a new office and helping to move out of the old office over the next few days. I am tentatively shooting for having this puppy published by the end of January. So, I'd say if you've been wanting to submit something, and haven't yet, to try to get it wrapped up by the end of the 2nd week of January. You can PM it if you want or just lay it down here. I'll find it either way.
Khara and I need help from the audience.
Give us some questions to answer. Any questions. Similar to "My _________ just __________. Ask me anything!"
why does put the lotion in the basket?
That's a start...
OK, I'll try and complete this tonight, since the people who were previously bothering me are absent, and the deadline for my research proposal has mercifully been put back a month.
Seeing as Cain gave an update, I feel obliged to as well.
I will finish (Read: Start) writing mine either tonight or tomorrow night.
Will be done by the end of the week.
I shall PM it, and then, if you feel it needs editing, you can open it up to the guys in here, whatever suits you best... :)
Okay. Today was the first day of the office move so this week is pretty much shot. So I'd say everyone has two weeks to finish up. If you can get stuff to me by the end of next Friday that would be cool. If you experience delays just let me know. I'm not much of a whip cracker or anything and can be a little loosey goosey with deadlines myself, but just give me a shout if you're a little behind.
huh i was totally confused for a while, thinking i was in the Open Bar. but then i wondered why you were talking as if posting in the OB would actually get a message to your collegues
anyway disregard this, i'm eating hot curry.
Is that what they call it these days?
Blurb:
The editors of Intermittens would like to thank the noble Discordians who are Fighting the Good Fight on wikipedia. The article on Operation Mindfuck was nominated for deletion and hung in limbo for several months. The main issue is that though Operation Mindfuck has been going on since at least the 70s, no activities openly identify themselves as a part of Operation Mindfuck. The editors of the wikipedia article were asking, "Is this for real? And if so, [citation needed]." But seriously, have you ever seen a prank which identifies itself as a prank, right up front? Fast forward through several weeks of back and forth, and we finally managed to plug up all their holes with citations from Ivan Stang, the KLF, and reference to a few of the larger Golden Apple Seed Missions. On December 3rd, the debate ended with the Operation Mindfuck being voted Keep. Mittens will be awarded to all participants.
:mittens:
:mittens:
Argh, computer froze last night, I have to let the batterly bleed out and then restart it.
(http://craphound.com/images/fursvsklingon.jpg)
alright, at long last---
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/index.php?title=Weirdness_in_the_Strange_Times
I could use review / feedback, if anyone wants to take a read and PM me
RWHN - are there any components of this thing you'll need help with? I'm thinking specifically of a cover. This whole GASM thing lends itself well to asking for help and getting it, so is there anything I can do?
Cram, that was a really good piece. If anything, though, you talk a lot how it's really hard to be Weird in Strange Times, and you make a good case for it. But, then, what is it to be Weird in Strange Times?
I actually have a concept for the cover. I will have it up here in the next couple of days to get feedback. And if y'all think it really sucks then someone else can have a go at it.
Actually, I do have a question for prior editors. What programs did you use to put your editions together?
I'm still trying to get over the fact that that poster is for a real event.
I used Adobe InDesign for the new layout of Issue 01, although I am leaning more and more towards Scribus (maybe so we can get some Template pages done that anyone could use.. things like 2-3 versions of a templated Table of Contents would be useful). Need to start poking around with Scribus..
Quote from: LMNO on January 06, 2009, 07:13:20 PM
Cram, that was a really good piece. If anything, though, you talk a lot how it's really hard to be Weird in Strange Times, and you make a good case for it. But, then, what is it to be Weird in Strange Times?
My argument is that
everybody is weird and that weirdness is
everywhere. The irony then is that it's no longer weirdness because it's ubiquitous.
The other day I was talking to someone from San Fransisco who doesn't know any straight people.
This may seem odd, but in this century, nothing's odd.
Quote from: Guv. What's-His-Name? on January 06, 2009, 07:17:40 PM
Actually, I do have a question for prior editors. What programs did you use to put your editions together?
For Issue 1 I actually just used MS Word and then had Mourning Star convert it to a PDF for me.
MS Word's formatting procedures make me want to burn my corneas with a red hot poker.
Well, mine will probably be done in Word as well. I'd like to be able to use a similar format for the Whoroscope that Vex did. So Vex, when you read this, if you did yours in Word you could send it to me and I could do a copy/pasta treatment. Or, I can just do it different.
I have access to a wicked good PDF converting program so I'll be able to take care of that myself.
Okay, here is one stab at the cover.
If you utterly hate the concept. Give me a mock up of your idea. Otherwise I'm open to pointers on how to tighten things up. I'm not a professional layout person or graphic designer, so just keep that in mind.
(http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a29/RWHN/untitled-8.png)
btw, if you see your name it's because you've either submitted a piece or have said you will submit a piece. So update me accordingly. Also, if you think I've missed you remind me what you've submitted and where it is located if not this thread or in my PM box. Thankee much.
Quote from: Enki-][ on January 06, 2009, 07:21:56 PM
I'm still trying to get over the fact that that poster is for a real event.
they have bowling balls :lulz:
Khara, we need to step this bitch up. PM coming.
:lulz:
I like that cover, Rev. It has that hacked-together-gaudy-DIY-Wrath-of-MS-Word feel.
Hold up guys.
I've got about 180 pages of notes on High Weirdness so far, and no real topic emerging. Yet. I think I know where to start, but I'm dealing with so much information, especially of a strange kind, it may take another 24 hours or so to work it into coherent prose.
I promise though, this is worth the wait. To my knowledge, there is only one other person on the net who can link squid suicides, the Old Ones, George W Bush, anal sex, alien abduction scenarios and trickster deities into one coherent whole, and he's busy fapping off elsewhere.
questions done, edits needed for humor even if stale or tossed into trash can
idea put forth for single page instrustion sheet for how to play one thousand blank cards, art suggestions or previous attempts would be grateful. wiki seems to have helpful suggestions for house rules, which should be optional of course
bonus points for theme (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0045464/)
should fake or real magic cards be illegal
Quote from: Cain on January 07, 2009, 10:56:09 AMI promise though, this is worth the wait. To my knowledge, there is only one other person on the net who can link squid suicides, the Old Ones, George W Bush, anal sex, alien abduction scenarios and trickster deities into one coherent whole, and he's busy fapping off elsewhere.
that sounds promising!
Anal sex and trickster deities have not made it in so far...and I'm at 3 pages. However, Scientology, Crowley, Kenneth Grant, a vampire clan, a "prophet" who could apparently summon UFOs and the buzzing of insects have.
I highly suggest we wait until Cain is finished with this monstrosity...
Up to Nazis, Satanists, terrorism and Lovecraft now. Page 5.
This may be long enough to be an issue in and of itself soon.
Quote from: LMNO on January 07, 2009, 01:48:46 PM
I highly suggest we wait until Cain is finished with this monstrosity...
I will be putting together what I have, but I will do it in a way that easily allows for new pages to be inserted. So I will wait to release until I have Cain's submission as well as Jenne/Khara's, and anyone else who has said they'd submit but hasn't finished.
Cool, excellent. Still on Nazis....
Quote from: Cain on January 07, 2009, 02:28:14 PM
Cool, excellent. Still on Nazis....
Do you have anything relating to rabbit-headed UFO pilots yet? The MEBON archives might help.
Afraid not. I do have cat versions of cattle mutiliations though.
Or I would. If I could concentrate for more than 10 seconds at a time. I'm tired, and have at least 3 PMs and 5 emails I should be replying too, but that would involve sustained thought. Bleh. Hopefully this will be complete tomorrow.
Quote from: Mr. What's-His-Name? on January 06, 2009, 07:32:04 PM
Well, mine will probably be done in Word as well. I'd like to be able to use a similar format for the Whoroscope that Vex did. So Vex, when you read this, if you did yours in Word you could send it to me and I could do a copy/pasta treatment. Or, I can just do it different.
I have access to a wicked good PDF converting program so I'll be able to take care of that myself.
I didn't use Word, I did it all in Scribus.
Ok, Khara and I are almost done--just some of what she needs to put in and maybe some tweaking.
Quote from: Jenne on January 07, 2009, 07:57:46 PM
Ok, Khara and I are almost done--just some of what she needs to put in and maybe some tweaking.
You have a Meth-od to your Madness.
' a "prophet" who could apparently summon UFOs '
is that the guy from vegas
How do you guys feel about weird short fiction in the Inermiens?
Anything I can do to help?
I can...
...
well, I can edit. :|
I'd like to announce (in this issue if possible) a new art movement. I think it'll be sufficiently weird.
http://namcub.accela-labs.com/stories/ebooks/post-croggyism-manefesto.txt
Quote from: Enki-][ on January 08, 2009, 02:16:49 AM
I'd like to announce (in this issue if possible) a new art movement. I think it'll be sufficiently weird.
http://namcub.accela-labs.com/stories/ebooks/post-croggyism-manefesto.txt
Dude
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dadaism
Comparing post-croggyism to dadaism is something only a secret post-croggyist would do, obviously.
Quote from: Mr. What's-His-Name? on January 07, 2009, 08:07:18 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 07, 2009, 07:57:46 PM
Ok, Khara and I are almost done--just some of what she needs to put in and maybe some tweaking.
You have a Meth-od to your Madness.
Shhhh! I'll never tell! 8)
Quote from: Knight of the Banana-shaped table on January 07, 2009, 09:57:58 PM
' a "prophet" who could apparently summon UFOs '
is that the guy from vegas
I think so. The Prophet Yahweh, is his name. Black Hebrew. Little strange.
Quote from: Primrose on January 08, 2009, 01:21:15 AM
How do you guys feel about weird short fiction in the Inermiens?
The more the merrier. Can you have it written in the next couple of weeks?
OK, I'm throwing out the parapolitical stuff, since that can go into the [citation needed] issue. Thats two pages gone and a substanstial rewrite on the cards.
Quote from: Cpl. What's-His-Name? on January 08, 2009, 11:15:22 AM
Quote from: Primrose on January 08, 2009, 01:21:15 AM
How do you guys feel about weird short fiction in the Inermiens?
The more the merrier. Can you have it written in the next couple of weeks?
I can certainly give it a shot!
I also thought maybe the sheep story would go well there.
I'm unfamiliar with the sheep story. If you want it in just copy/paste it here, please.
I haven't found it yet, but I found this:
My name was Eugene. I was born on the shores of a small lake in what is now known as Michigan; no, not a large lake. As the spores attacked my brain I had no idea what was coming, and the others in my village believed that I was a genius, a shaman. To me they brought their wounded and sick, their congenitally deformed. My name was Eugene and I had no special powers, only a fungus that had entered my brain one day in late childhood and lain there dormant for nearly a decade before consuming my intellect. As I infected their loved ones with my disease, which showed up most often as a simple ringworm, I called out in the voice of the loons which nested in the cliffs at the north end of the lake, and the villagers were convinced of my holy status. To me they brought their infants, their women in childbirth, their retarded children. As I lost my ability to speak a human language and the mushroom in my braincase impinged upon my optic nerves, I wished I could still cry out stop, stop, stop; save your people while you can.
My name was Eugene.
Oh, here it is:
The fucker dumped me.
For the first couple hours I couldn't think; I just lay on the couch and cried, and a couple of times I went into the bathroom to look in the mirror and see what a mess I was. I was FUCKED UP: my eyes were red and squinty, my face was shiny, and my mouth was all open at the corners in a figure-eight, sort of like some kind of Lucille Ball mockery. I'd compose myself for a minute, but as soon as I looked in the mirror again that Lucy-mouth would come back and I'd hear my own helpless wailing echoing off the bathroom walls.
After a while though, maybe after I'd fallen asleep and woken up without noticing, it was all of a sudden plainly obvious what I needed to do. I had to call three butcher shops before I found one that was willing to give me the number of a farmer who would sell me a live sheep, and the guy had a Lafayette address, like an hour drive from downtown, so I was going to have to wait until my day off to go out there, but that was OK.
The farmer was kind of a freak; he was like "So why do you want a live sheep, again?" and I was like, "I want my fourth grade class to get a sense of the reality of where meat comes from, you know?" He totally gave me the eyeball, but he couldn't come up with a decent argument in the face of my explanation, so he accepted my cash and loaded the animal into my Subaru Forester without saying much more.
I had to wait until Wednesday. I just kept the sheep tethered in my kitchen until then; I know, the back yard would have been better, but I didn't want to give myself away and at least it was easy to clean the poop off the linoleum. The thing about Wednesday, besides me having the morning off, was that during the week his mother always gets up early to eat breakfast and do some gardening, HOURS before he gets up. Oh, did I mention that he lives with his mother? Fucking loser.
So Wednesday morning I drove over to his house and checked that she was actually HAVING breakfast as usual before proceeding; sheep are way more expensive than you might think, and if she was sick or sleeping in for some reason, then the whole thing would be wasted and I'd have to buy another. So I checked her out, and she was in the sunroom drinking her orange juice with her pink-daisy ardening gloves and her flower clippers on the table, and I knew it was OK to go on as planned. I went back home, scratched Mr. Woolly on the head, then straddled him, held his chin (he was really docile) and slit his throat with my Henckels 8-inch Chef. I really believe in spending the money on high-quality cutlery, you know? It's just not even worth the hassle of using some crappy Ginsu shit or anything like that, and once you've cooked using a good knife, there's no way you'll ever be satisfied with anything cheap.
Anyway, I bled the sheep into a bucket I got at Fred Meyer just for the purpose, and it was surprisingly tidy! I totally thought I'd be mopping up a huge mess, but other than Mr. Woolly evacuating his bowels, there was hardly any mess at all. After he stopped twitching, I hurriedly incised around his neck... I had to act fast before the blood congealed... and peeled the skin from his head. It went smoothly except for some sticking around the eyes, snout and lips. I got it off, though, and was just stuffing the sheep carcass into a garbage bag when I thought, hey, of course I should keep one of his legs for chops! That would be so yummy! So I took off one of his hind legs and somehow managed to like, jam it into the freezer compartment without knocking out all the half-eaten Haagen-Dasz containers and the frozen tamales from Trader Joe's.
The drive from my house to his is only about fourteen minutes, which is of course why he used to show up at my place in the middle of the night all the time, drunk and horny. I parked half a block away, and once I checked that ol' Ma was out in the garden, I slipped in, trying hard not to let the garbage bag rustle. The stairway was right off the living room, and his room was at the top, to the right of the bathroom but left of his mom's. I left the Hefty at the bottom and crept up with the half-full bucket, careful not to make the stairs creak even though I knew he could sleep through me getting up three times a night to pee, or dogs barking, or air-raid sirens, or whatever.
So I went into the bathroom first, closed the stopper on the sink, and carefully poured about half the blood in. I wiped up the couple drops I spilled with toilet paper and stuck it into my pocket; I didn't want to risk flushing the toilet because I was pretty sure I would have gotten in major shit for being in his house without telling anyone. I walked back out to the stairs, and meticulously poured a line of blood on each tread without letting any of it run over onto the next tread; it took forever and my arms were getting tired of holding the bucket, like fifteen minutes or something, it sucked.
I finally got to the bottom and it was time to set up Mr. Woolly; I took him out of his plastic bag and tried to set him up standing, but his body was still too floppy, since rigor mortis I guess takes a while. I ended up leaving him more or less on his knees, with his flayed, open-eyeball head pointed at the staircase, and went home so I could wash up a little before work, since I was pretty skanked out from all the stuff I'd gotten done.
That night I was marinating some chops when the phone rang. My heartbeat picked up a little and I could feel my cheeks turning pink as I wiped my hands on a dishtowel, before picking up the phone. I was breathless, all like, "Hello?" and he was all, "Um, I was just thinking about you, and stuff that happened," and I was all "Really?" and he was all "Yeah" and then he totally asked me if we could get back together and I invited him over for dinner that night and it was really great.
So yeah, that was a few weeks ago and things are still going good.
Quote from: Jenne on January 08, 2009, 04:40:36 AM
Quote from: Mr. What's-His-Name? on January 07, 2009, 08:07:18 PM
Quote from: Jenne on January 07, 2009, 07:57:46 PM
Ok, Khara and I are almost done--just some of what she needs to put in and maybe some tweaking.
You have a Meth-od to your Madness.
Shhhh! I'll never tell! 8)
K dude, check your pm's...it's all good.
Czeched.
Danke.
Quote from: EmmaE on January 08, 2009, 01:42:05 AM
I can edit. :|
do it now (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=18961.0)
Too late to add? As promised here is me answering Billy Graham's mail:
http://chaoskeptic.blogspot.com/2009/01/dear-rev-reinard-11209.html
QuoteDear Rev. Reinard
Q: I really want to serve God, but I don't know how. Just showing up at church doesn't seem like much, but what else should I be doing? - Mrs. M.W.
A: Well, the first thing that you need to do is find a good piece of God. I usually suggest a 6 lb cut from the rump area (Exodus 33:20-23). Next apply your favorite rub. I like a mix of salt, pepper, paprika, and dry mustard. Place the roast on a shallow baking pan and then into a 325 degree oven. Make sure to use a meat thermometer to ensure you don't over cook. No one likes a tough deity. Figure about 18 minutes per pound for rare meat. And if you aren't going to cook it rare then WAYSA? Let meat stand for 10 minutes so that the juices can settle. Serves 10 to 12.
If you can't fit it into Issue #3 then I can wait and submit it in another issue.
I will find a space for it. Thanks.
Do we have linkage??
I'm going to finish this tonight, for real. Even if it kills me makes me late for coffee and plotting.
Quote from: Cain on January 13, 2009, 09:35:21 PM
I'm going to finish this tonight, for real. Even if it kills me makes me late for coffee and plotting.
Mine's in danger of being finished tonight too.
:scared:
edit: MOTHERFUCKER I DIDN'T FINISH IT TONIGHT.
BLARGGHHH...
:argh!:
Tomorrow then, sorry.
I'm nearing the end. Six fucking pages. Removed almost all parapolitical references, for Intermittens #5
OK, two posts will contain it all. Format and correct spelling mistakes as you wish.
Guaranteed Fear and Loathing. Abandon all hope. Prepare for the Weirdness. Get familiar with Cannibalism.
- Hunter S Thompson
So, are you ready? As Hunter suggests, this has the potential to be one hell of a ride. And by the end, you may indeed want to chew your own eyeballs out, just to get rid of the images in your head. After all, once you know, there is no real way you can unknow. And that's the problem. Do you take the red pill, or the blue one? I would suggest getting acquainted with High Weirdness is better than going through life without knowing, but then again, I would say that. And even I don't know how deep the rabbit hole really goes...so maybe by the end of my trip, I will have decided it wasn't worth it after all.
But I'll assume you're still here, and reading, and therefore interested. The question is, where to start? There is so much out there, some of which seems patently crazy, but only before certain facts fall into place. Just as a disclaimer, I'm not professing belief in anything I say here. I'm only relating what others say. But I cannot deny something odd may be going on.
I think the Necronomicon is an excellent start. Most of you, especially those of you up on your Illuminatus! reading, already know about this legendary book, and the background it comes from. As such, it is an excellent starting point for our discussion. H. P. Lovecraft invented the book, or at least he thought he did, and it has had a troubling history ever since making it into his works. Figures in the occult world, such as the former US military intelligence officer and founder of the Temple of Set, Michael Aquino, have long been writing ceremonies and the like incorporating aspects of the Mythos. But more interesting than these nods to a master of horror writing are the beliefs of Kenneth Grant, one of the last living disciples of Aleister Crowley and founder of the "Typhonian OTO".
Grant believes that Lovecraft was an unconscious adept, and indeed the author did claim to get ideas for his books from his dreams – or nightmares, if you prefer. Grant believes that working through the Tree of Life, one can enter the Qlippoth (the Tree of Death that mirrors the Sephiroth) and, from the diseased, horrible world that supposedly exists beyond, bring back the Old Ones of the Mythos into the real world. Because, Grant believes there are certain correspondences between the works of John Dee, Lovecraft and Crowley. For example, John Dee mentioned an Enochian demon called "Choronzon" who he said may interfere with a magician's work. Crowley called Choronzon "the Breaker-Down of all Thought and Form," and said he was the guardian of the gateway of Daath. Grant says Lovecraft knew him as "Yog-Sothoth," for this line from The Dunwich Horror: "Yog-Sothoth is the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the key and the guardian of the gate." Regardless of whether or not Grant is correct, or has an accurate viewpoint of the world (something I am highly doubtful of), we have bona fide Cthulhu cultists running around the planet, trying to open The Gate, and let the Old Ones back through. Doesn't that worry you, just a little bit?
Of course, the influence of the mythos on the national unconscious spreads far and wide. How else could one account for Bush quoting almost verbatim from The Crawling Chaos in his 2005 re-inauguration speech. "We have a calling from beyond the stars." Coincidence? Sure, could be. We know Bush isn't much of a reader himself, though presumably his speech writers have a passing knowledge of the concept. And maybe the hundreds of dead, large squid, with their unconscious suggestions towards Cthulhu, washing up on the Orange County coast on the day the speech was made, were just coincidence as well.
Maybe.
This is the problem with the weird, especially at this level. You start seeing the same themes and concepts cropping up everywhere. And while it may well be the Law of Fives...you can never shake off the terrible feeling it may be otherwise. Consider, continuing with our theme, the original name of the Necronomicon, according to Lovecraft, is "Al Azif - azif being the word used by the Arabs to designate that nocturnal sound (made by insects) suppos'd to be the howling of daemons." But the buzzing of insects is associated with other supernatural phenomenon as well. To name a few, apparitions of the Virgin Mary, in the presence of UFOs, around 'Fortean' entities such as the Mothman, during DMT trips, in near-death experiences and during astral projection.
Lovecraft presumably researched some of the occult for his books, but is he really this good? Is anyone? Again, I'm not passing judgement on the actuality of these events, some of which I am again sceptical of, I am only noting this thread of commonality. If its a coincidence, which it may well be, its an amazing one.
Assuming the Necronomicon is entirely fiction, and a creation of his own making, that doesn't mean its not dangerous. The problem with great ideas is that once they are out, they take on a life of their own. And the alien horrors of Lovecraftian works can have a powerful effect on unstable minds. Such as, for example, seventeen-year old Roderik Ferrell, self-proclaimed leader of a vampire clan, who carried out ritualistic killings of animals and, in some cases, people, based on one of the many versions of the book currently in print.
Belief is a very dangerous weapon, in the wrong hands. Fanatics and would "Knights Templars" are invariably the worst sort of monsters, assured so totally by their moral certitude they never even question the depravity of their actions.
Lets change the topic from the occult to the alien now. One might question such a huge change of topic, but perhaps the leap is not so big at all. In 1918, for example, in New York City, infamous occultist Aleister Crowley conducted the "Amalantrah Working", a ritual designed to bring foreign intelligences into this world. One of those was supposedly the creature he called Lam. Google a picture of Lam, there are plenty of copies of Crowley's sketch of him on the web. Remind you of anything? This character does seem to bear a certain resemblance to modern day little Grey aliens, does he not?
And the coincidences do not end there. In 1946, Jack Parsons, a NASA scientist, and L Ron Hubbard, future founder of Scientology, both met in New Mexico to conduct a ritual they called the Babalon Working. Both were members of the American OTO, and although reports suggest Crowley thought them nuts, they went into the desert and using his system, were intent on reestablishing the opening supposedly created by Crowley's 1918 working, and with a considerable amount of intensity that was lacking from the original work. Regardless of whether or not it did work, a year later, in 1947, the modern UFO age began with a rash of sightings over the USA.
UFOs interest me. There is so clearly something going on that, to me, they merit further research. I very much doubt they are in fact piloted by off world visitors of some sort, but that does not mean they are not still odd. Even if they are, for example, cases of hallucination or mass hysteria, it suggests the human mind is a rather fragile instrument, and perhaps not entirely trustworthy. If they are experimental aircraft, being tested by various governments, we have to question why they profit from apparently showing off these top secret weapons near large civilian populations – where many unexplained UFOs have been sighted. And there are the correspondences with the occult tradition, as I have outlined above. Something strange is going on, but the strangeness may not be what it seems. The alien hypothesis is a red herring, which distracts from the more important questions.
Such as, why do so many supposedly alien contactees go on to establish cults or cult-like organizations? No doubt throughout history there have been no shortage of con-men willing to exploit the unexplained, especially if part of the current zeitgeist, but this many? Sociologists have also studied the phenomenon, including many apparently very sincere individuals who do not profit from their organizations in any way. Respected UFO investigator and scientist Jacques Vallee suggests a high level of social manipulation is present in the UFO phenomenon, for currently unknown purposes. To excite panic, wonder, fear, despair...any or all of those could be valid reasons. But one way to quickly establish control of a society is through the introduction of cult-like cells, especially if one has access to advanced technology one can wow people with.
And the experiences of some people who have been supposedly abducted by aliens mirrors the initiation rituals of more obscure groups. Approached by members of the group, wearing strange costumes. They are blindfolded or somehow rendered dependent on this group. They are then led or taken through a strange and difficult route, before being placed in the presence of an authority figure, in a specially designed, windowless room. He is then given a test, made to answer questions, shown symbols of death (either personal or planetary), is told they may not survive this upcoming ordeal, given ritual food and drink, then led back outside.
And what are we to make of the Prophet Yahweh? Born Ramon Watkins, a former US marine and Black Hebrew Israelite, has claimed and, apparently shown before major news organization cameras, his ability to summon UFOs. He could be a con-man of course, and probably is. But the links between UFOs and religion is established again.
According to Bud Hopkins, famed UFO and abduction investigator, there are a "curious pattern" among abductees of "personal, cherished objects...seeming to vanish and then reappear under highly unusual circumstances." For instance, a wedding ring placed on a kitchen top one moment and gone the next reappeared several days later beneath the tacked-down carpet of an upstairs bedroom. Hopkins doesn't know what to make of it, though he finds the pattern repeats enough to be "intriguing" and to "deserve mention."
If Hopkins had paid more attention to folklore and mythology, he would however. Jacques Vallee, in his brilliant Passport to Magonia, discusses in depth the correspondences between supposed alien activity and the stories of faeries and the fair folk in previous centuries. Their impish trickster nature often led them to pranks of this kind, as well of those noted in many abduction experiences. Far too many.
Of course, not all UFO phenomena are so benign as to result in the peaceful Space Brother feeling either. Let us consider the story of Kelly Cahill and her husband, in Australia. In 1993, when driving home, along with several other drivers, stopped her car and exited to get a better look at the strange objects in the sky. But while looking at the strange apparition in the sky, she notices something moving in the field below the UFO. About seven feet tall, it was apparently cloaked in black, with red luminescent eyes. All of a sudden, she starts screaming, and even she admits she doesn't know how she came up with this, but she starts screaming, "They've got no souls." And then again: "THEY'VE GOT NO SOULS!"
Another darker occult crossover occurred in the UK, in the area of Clapham Wood, well known for its odd events over the years. In recent years, Clapham Wood has been a locus of UFO activity and occult presence. Strange flying objects are seen at night, as one would expect. But allegedly a cult devoted to the Goddess Hekate, also operated in the area. Dogs, too, frequently vanished from the area, enough to prompt investigation. Hekate, for those of you who don't know, is the Goddess of crossroads, witchcraft and hunting. Frequently, dogs were sacrificed in her honour. According to an informant, phoning an investigative journalist working on the story, the group used dogs for monthly "services" and would continue to do so into the forseeable future. They also did not take
to being investigated, and would defend the identities of their members by all means available.
I would be disinclined to disbelieve this story, but another investigator apparently discovered Winchester and London networks at the same time, of a larger group. Of course, they may have meant to have been found, as purposeful disinformation. But the dogs keep disappearing, and the UFOs keep flying regardless.
Speaking of missing dogs...what can one make of the Four Pi Movement, an offshoot of the Process Church of the Final Judgement, itself the fruit of a split from the Church of Scientology. Two members of 4P were picked up by California Highway Patrol in 1970, with human finger bones in their pockets and confession of cannibalism on their lips. 4P members based their rituals based on a stellar timetable, which included "the sacrifice of Doberman and German shepherd dogs".
Two years before, in areas around San Jose, not far from where the cannibalistic hippies were picked up, there discoveries of canines, skinned and drained of blood, without apparent motive. According to the director of a Santa Cruz animal shelter, "Whoever is doing this is a real expert with a knife. The skin is cut away without even marking the flesh. The really strange thing is that these dogs have been drained of blood."
And these did not stop with our counterculture clowns in prison. Between October 1976 and October 1977 a disturbing pattern resumed, this time in New York City, when 85 German shepherds and Dobermans were found skinned and drained of blood. Hey, wasn't Sam Berkowitz running around NYC at that time, knocking people off? And didn't he make up a bullshit story about hearing Satanic voices from a neighbour's dog? And didn't Berkowitz claim his serial killings were in fact group murders, committed by a "Satanic" organization called Four Pi?
My, those coincidences just pile right up, don't they?
For instance, let us consider Sirius, the "dog star". Dogs to dog stars is not such a huge leap, really. Plus this was a particular interest of Robert Anton Wilson, who talked about its possible significance in depth in Cosmic Trigger. Its importance is not just shared by acid casualty hippies and ancient Egyptians, however.
The Neo-Templar Order of the Solar Temple, for example, believed that after martyrdom, they would be reborn upon a planet orbiting Sirius. This probably was of great comfort to its membership, who self-destructed after orders from its Grand Master in 1994, possibly relating to its links with BCCI and the criminal underworld (more on this in Intermittens #5). Members were killed in their sleep, or else committed suicide, leading to the total disintegration of the group. Sirius has an interesting occult legacy.
In Morals and Dogma, Albert Pike writes that Sirius was "the inventor of language, grammar, astronomy, surveying, arithmetic, music, and medical science; the first maker of laws; and who taught the worship of the Gods, and the building of Temples." He adds that the "Blazing Star" pentagram of Masonic Lodges represents Sirius, the "Guardian and Guide of our Souls."
A disciple of Helena Blatavasky, one Alice Bailey, went one better, claiming Sirius was key to the higher mysteries of Masonry. Kenneth Grant (yes, him again), student of Aleister Crowley and founder of the "Typhonian OTO" and its "Cult of Lam," writes in The Magical Revival that Crowley "unequivocally identifies his Holy Guardian Angel with Sothis (Sirius), or Set-Isis."
Adam Gorightly, in "Ritual Magic, Mind Control and the UFO Phenomenon," writes how, in the 1950s and '60s, alleged contactee George Hunt Williamson is said to have "summoned forth certain denizens purportedly from Sirius, conversing to them in the same 'Enochian' or 'Angelic' language used by John Dee and Aleister Crowley." Williamson also claimed that a secret society on Earth had been in contact with Sirius for "thousands of years, and that the emblem of this secret society is the eye of Horus, otherwise known as the all-seeing eye."
Interestingly, there is a tradition of the people of Mali, the Dogon, that Sirius has another, hidden companion star. This was confirmed, but only with advanced, 19th century tech. The Dogon, who had passed down this myth for hundreds of years couldn't have known this, creating a useful cottage industry on books about how the Dogon were supposedly visited by Sirius based aliens.
But clearly, belief in the importance of Sirius lives on. The brightest star in the night sky, it is an attractor for people who pay attention to such things. And, perhaps, a useful tool of manipulation for people who want to use such beliefs to put people under their control? John Keel's ultraterrestrials, if they exist, must be chucking in glee over the possibilities.
Back to the dead animals and strange night sightings for a moment, however. In 1995, in Kelowna, British Columbia, two cigar shaped UFOs were sighted by one woman looking out of her kitchen window. As the strange vessels passed over her neighbours garage, she couldn't help but be worried for neighbourhood cats, who often congregated around the garage, for reasons unknown (though knowing the creatures, it was almost certainly due to food or warmth).
She was right to worry though. Lights came down from the ships, searching that precise area. Then the lights turned off and the objects just vanished, like they dropped out of existence. The cats, too, were never seen again.
And that was probably for the best two. Reports of "cat mutilation" are not unknown to the good people of BC. The Kamloops area of BC was privy to a rash of half cat mutilations, with a dozen or so cats mysteriously cut up. The usual show, no blood, no muss, no apparent fuss and again, never a sign of struggle, no fur strewn about and no spilled blood. Since the early 90s, exsanguinated cats were found in Vancouver too.
Now, no-one is suggesting that UFOs kidnap and experiment on cats. The idea is crazy, even with the current topic under consideration. There is nothing to gain from it, their physiology is well known, their genetic code relatively easy for an advanced culture to discover. But why should it be any less crazy when it happens to cattle? Why when it is pets, we attribute such gruesome deaths to cults and really fucked up people, but with livestock it must, for whatever reason, be aliens, seeking genetic material?
No doubt there is a correlation between UFO activity and ritual killing, but it doesn't mean one causes the other.
But let us turn our eye to more conventional religions. Such as, for example, Scientology. We know L Ron Hubbard was the founder of the organization, its true. And we also know he took a lot of his structure and ideas from Crowley, mixed in with his own, personal brand of lunacy. Like many cults, its inner teachings are manifestly different from its outer teachings. Hubbard's space opera may sound like a joke, but let us consider the effect it has on a real believer. For instance, Tom Cruise, the supposed messiah and heir apparent of the Scientology movement in America.
According to unverified rumours, Cruise became psychotic while during his initiation to OT III. Here, the "fact" that our personalities are not our own, that Thetans exist, are revealed to the initiate, who usually does not respond well. We know that after reaching this level, Cruise looked sickly in public, with black circles under his eyes, and pasty skin. He expressed disillusionment with the organization, and wanted to be alone. But he wasn't. And now? Now Cruise cannot shut up about how great the Scientology crowd are, and how its the last true hope for humanity.
The Church also has a weird militarism, which is well documented, with its powerful internal security system, and groups such as Sea Org. More curious, however, is the fact that a disproportionate number of Scientologists were part of the CIA's mostly hilarious and inept attempts to use paranormal abilities to augment the functions of the agency, especially when it came to Project Stargate and remote viewing.
Even more powerful, rich, unknown and strongly connected with the world of black operations and espionage is the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, the leader of the decidedly scary Unification Church. Often dismissed as a crank, Moon has built a fortune of several billion, owning media outlets like the Washington Post and United Press International. He has a powerful, far right and religious agenda, which could accurately be described as theocratic. And he is the major financier of the evangelical right in the USA, having bailed individuals such as Pat Robertson out of debt in return for their allegiance.
Moon would still be easy to dismiss, if he did not have such personal contacts within the corridors of international power. Consider that, in 2004, Moon met with several high ranking members of the US legislature in a Federal building in Washington D.C., where, in a bizarre ceremony, there was a coronation and he was crowned as Saviour, Messiah, Returning Lord and True Parent, as well as King of Peace.
President Bush II is said to have had a design of a crown put on his bed while in the White House. Its worth noting that Moon has also campaigned for the symbol of the Crown to replace the Cross in Christianity. Lots of crown motifs there. Again, it could just be coincidence...but maybe not. Allusions to monarchy are also popular with Dick Cheney, who sent out a Christmas card in 2003 with this seasonal message: "And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?"
Moving from the newer and arguably crazier Protestants of America, we cannot forget our own dear Catholic Church, an institution with influence, power, history and crazy in buckets. Such as how did Opus Dei, a group that practice self-flagellation and supported the Phalange in Spain, with a cultish devotion to secrecy, become so powerful so fast? The last two Popes have both courted its wealth and influence, ignoring its disturbing confluence of political and religious extremism. Its not all Albino Monk Assassins, to be sure, but its not all hymns and good deeds, either. God's Work pays well, and for some reason almost always includes helping regimes who like people to disappear without trials, or even identifiable gaves.
Also, the continued influence of the Fatima continues to amaze. The strange sighting, more in common with an apocalyptic UFO cult experience, exerts an influence over the Church well into the present. The end of the world, the imagery of hell and death and destruction, hang over the leadership of the Vatican like a plague, adding to the panic that The Prophecy of the Popes, attributed to Saint Malachy, is nearing the end of the List. For many devout Catholics, the End Times are just around the corner, and the world will tremble at what is to come next.
Britain is also a land that hasn't forgotten how weird it really is. Any country where one can frequently see standing stones, and where the myths and terrors of the Celtic period are still modern day fairy tales is one that hasn't forgotten how strange reality can get sometimes. Only a couple of years back, children were being killed in rituals, imported from sub-Saharan Africa it would seem. Dead sheep have been found laid out in occult diagrams. A dead Cornish councillor with an obsession with black magic. There is also the strange death of Nicholas Gangari, who was either jumped or fell from the cliffs in Lewes. His home was covered in torn Bible passages, scrawled with the message "God help me, I have been cursed". Suspicion fell upon a strange friend of Nicholas, a fascist with far-right connections (and how strange it is, that we see those two beliefs closely linked so often). And what do we make of the final drawing of the murdered Sarah Payne, a schoolgirl who, before she vanished, drew a picture of a man standing upon a 13-square checkered floor, between columns bearing Sarah's name. He wears what appears to be an apron of 33 studs, and holds an object in his left hand. His right sleeve is missing. Even for someone like me, who distrusts those who talk about "Masonic plots", the parallels here are striking.
But enough about the UK. What can one say about malevolent clowns? Good fodder for horror, of course, but nonsense in real life, right? Sadly no. In the first week of May, 1981, Daniel O'Connell, the Investigative Counselor of the Boston Public School Board, alerted the district's principals that "it has been brought to the attention of the police department and the district office that adults dressed as clowns have been bothering children to and from school. Please advise all students that they must stay away from strangers, especially ones dressed as clowns." Several days later, in Brookline, Massachusetts on May 5, two clowns using candy as lures tried to entice children into their black van parked near Lawrence Elementary School. By May 8th, reports of clown men in vans harassing children had come in from East Boston, Charlestown, Cambridge, Canton, Randolph, and other cities near Boston.... 50 miles south, in Providence, RI, reports of clown men disturbring children were coming to the attention of psychiatric social workers counseling the city's youth.
No children were actually taken, but perhaps that was not the point. Perhaps the point was to menace, and nothing more. The Weird Times can be wonderful and terrific, but we should always remember that terrific isn't far off from terror. Perhaps the aim of some weirdness is to do nothing more than thumb its nose in arrogance, spread a tale of despondence and immunity. After all, what can you do against alien invaders, or the apocalypse, or the insane plans of the Old Ones? Of course, none of these things are real, but the belief is, and the belief is the danger. Don't succumb to the belief. Fall too far into panic. Keep your critical faculties and remember to laugh at those who tell campfire stories about these weird times.
To end as we started:
"We have seen Weird Times in this country before, but the year 2000 is beginning to look super weird. This time, there really is nobody flying the plane. ... We are living in dangerously weird times now. Smart people just shrug and admit they're dazed and confused.
The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb. It is the beginning of the end of our world as we knew it. Doom is the operative ethic."
Now get with the program.
I'd like to point out, researching all this gave me a greater sanity drain than Cthulhu himself.
Wow. Cain, that was a really good read.
Motherfucking SANITY DRAIN is what it is.
I'm going to continue this theme with Intermittens #5, because although the occult and parapolitics are almost certainly not real, it is some mega fucked up shit, and may be the jolt someone needs to start critically examing what they read.
Or else they'll go insane and top themselves.
I believe that's what's known as a "win-win".
Well unless its me, for reading this drivel.
Seriously though, the only death sentence Bush Jr commuted as Governor of Texas was for a mass-murderer who showed no guilt for his crimes and claimed to have links with a "Satanic" occult underground.
Fo realz.
Holy shit cain, speaking as someone who loves collecting and spreading conspiracy theories as a means to freak out cabbages during polite conversation, this is so full of win that I'm going to have to build a win reservoir in my garden just handle the overflow!
corrections (if I may be so rude)
part1 para 9:
Fanatics and would be "Knights Templars" are invariably the worst sort of monsters, assured so totally by their moral certitude they never even question the depravity of their actions.
part2 - para1
I would be disinclined to disbelieve this story
par2 para14
And that was probably for the best twotoo.
Part2 para26
Of course, none of these things are real, but the belief is, and the belief is the danger. Don't succumb to the belief. Don't Ffall too far into panic. Keep your critical faculties and remember to laugh at those who tell campfire stories about these weird times.
Those grammatical corrections sound good. Since I wrote this mostly late at night, when tired or mentally altered, I knew it wasn't entirely finished. I can do them, or, if the editors would be so kind, they could make the corrections when it goes into the download.
Also, I'll pass you a download to my notes, when I've finished compiling them.
I defy anyone to write that many words and not make a couple of mistakes and proofing your own shit is a hiding to nowhere, since your brain does that "I know what's coming next so I don't have to actually read it" thing.
Also I'll be most appreciative of the notes. Spreading this kind of insanity is my raison d'etre.
Yeah, there is that too. Thats why I advocate font and format changes. You catch em a lot easier when it looks like another piece of writing. I'll set you up the link once I'm done, though since I'm finishing my research proposal this weekend, it may not happen for a few days.
LAST CALL! LAST CALL!
I'm going to be doing some major construction on this bad boy today. So, I'm saying today is the last day to get anything in that you want in this issue.
IIRC, Cram you are putting together the 101 Things to Make Someone's Day Weirder, or is someone else doing that now? Whoever is doing it, just shoot me a PM when it's done and where and how to find it.
That's all for now. Stay tuned for futher developments.
I need moar graphics. So far I have 000's comic, and a couple other images that were submitted. I could go find some myself, but, well, I'm lazy. Post or link some eye candy.
Yeah, I'm looking at you WOMPers.
sniff around at: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=18902.0
Oh yeah, forgot about that one. Thanks.
My entry will be done by tonight.
Just gimme another coupla hours, i'll be done by this evening (Britspag time)
That will be fine. I've just copied and pasted everything intoa document. It'll take me another few days to do the formatting. But if you can get it done today, that would be awesome.
You have ours right? Jenne's and mine??
Yep. She PM'd it to me. It's like Ragu, it's in there. Or is it Prego?
RWHN: the [very cleaned up] 101 things article is here: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FI0Q9CZW
For your ease of insertion (heh heh) I've included it in a variety of formats, but I think the PDF is the only one that captured the headline fonts.
VOILA
Hmm, yeah, that's alright. I think I know how to make it work.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on January 16, 2009, 05:17:53 PM
Yep. She PM'd it to me. It's like Ragu, it's in there. Or is it Prego?
:eek:
I hope it's better than jar sauce! :cry:
Uh, here is my entry.
It's the first piece of writing I've done in a long time; and I don't really like it that much, but still...
It's basically a story that I dreamt up so I didn't just have a dream interpretation article.
I also think it's missing something, but I don't know what, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to post and I can edit.
----------------------------------OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION---------------------------------
Transmission from:
Dr. Karl Bliffingburg
Psycho Re-Evaluation Sector (Low Int. Division)
Dept. of Health.
-To whom it may concern,
My name is Dr. Karl Bliffingburg. I am the overseeing doctor at the North Eastern Offices of the Department of Health. We currently have over 200 patients in the North Eastern Facility, with varying degrees of LIDs (Low Intelligence Disorders). One of our most promising patients is codenamed Patient X. His intelligence score, as tested by our specialised three day rigorous mental examinations was actually so low as to be below the bottom end of the scale. He didn't even register on the computer aided self-tests, and has bamboozled even our most experienced doctors and professors. Attached to this transmission is his most recent creative writing test; we asked him to write about his dreams to examine his own account of his subconscious. What you must understand before reading this is that our patients are not merely stupid, or have a low IQ. Their brainwaves are actually of a lower frequency than an average human being. The potential ramifications of this are huge; hence our large government budget. I will leave you to make your own decisions on the following.
Yours,
Dr. Karl Bliffingburg.
Lactose Tolerant – A Glimpse into the Subconscious of a Borderline Simpleton.
Beings of higher intelligences, greetings!
So, for this, my most recent "assignment" I have been asked to keep what it is, in effect, a dream diary. I tend to have a certain lucidity with my dreams, that is, I remember them very well, significantly more than most people. Whether this is a product of my uh, condition, or simply a genetic thing is unclear. To take advantage of this, Dr. Bliffinburg decided to ask me to keep this dream diary, for him to effectively take a peek into my brain's subconscious.
The dream where I'm being chased by Anne Robinson on stilts holding a guitar.
There's not much to this dream, really. I'm being chased by Anne Robinson through a usually familiar location, although sometimes it's a place I don't recognise. She's on stilts, but running surprisingly fast and waving a guitar around threateningly. It's kinda scary, really. But, anyway, according to the book the Doc gave me, a chase dream is supposed to signify feelings of anxiety and worry in my life. To be honest, I don't really think I am anxious or worrying. I'm perfectly happy here in the Facility, I'm progressing well and everything is generally good...
But then, maybe there is something. A little nagging something. Occasionally, after a bad day, or if I'm tired or really thinking, I get this feeling. A feeling of emptiness, of desolation. That there's something missing in my life. And I can't put my finger on exactly what it is.
I'm still not sure what the stilts and guitar signify though...
The dream where I'm falling down... and down... and down...
This dream is another pretty basic one too. I'm falling down, through the sky. I always wake up before I hit the ground though, as per the cliché, so I don't know what's at the bottom, but I suspect it would probably hurt. According to the Doc's book, dreams that involve falling are an indication of insecurities, instabilities and anxieties. Again, I can't really think of anything obvious about my life that reflects this. I assume the reason I continue having this frankly terrifying recurring nightmare is a sort of sense of impending doom. Like what I mentioned earlier, I think my subconscious is secretly terrified of life outside the facility. It's funny, because as much as I hate it here, as much as it freaks me out having to be tested constantly, I'm actually really scared of what's going to happen when I finish the course, when I'm realised back out to the outside world.
... And I honestly don't know how I will react.
Well, the Doc said to keep this short, so I have. The above are my top recurring dreams, and also those which I feel mean the most to me at this time. I hope these prove helpful in the studies of this Facility.
----------------------------------TRANSMISSION ENDS---------------------------------------
Comments/Suggestions much appreciated, thanks.
Suggestion: we might pick up a few extra readers if we share Intermittens via a torrent site or two, like TPB.
thanks for that TBS. If anyone has any suggestions for edits for that over the next couple days (read: I don't really have the time in the next couple of days) it would be greatly appreciated.
If there's still time for inclusion of something new, I have this:
http://namcub.accela-labs.com/stories/ebooks/poetry/aiwass.txt
But there probably isn't.
Quote from: Cain on January 17, 2009, 12:50:08 PM
Suggestion: we might pick up a few extra readers if we share Intermittens via a torrent site or two, like TPB.
This is a top notch suggestion. I'd like to get a list of nodes to network our Buzz with once #03 is publishable.
So far we have;
-TPB/Demonoid/etc (forums, related blogs, etc)
-Technoccult.com (Klint Finley)
-Skilluminati/Brainsturbator/etc (37.-Justin Boland)
-Alterati/wu.sauceruney.com/mutans.blogspot.com/wesunruh.wordpress.com (Wes Unruh)
-gorightly.wordpress.com(Adam Gorightly)
-blacksungazette.com/key64.net (Nick Pell)
-pdxocculture.com/dysnomia.us (Johnny Brainwash)
-AND.......
also, I'd like all of the pdfs to have test prints run. We ran into some problems when Cram tried Printing 01. I've got some replacement files hosted that TDM printed out OK, they just need to be re-hosted onto not my school server, and renamed.
I've been redistributing over facebook, and can probably now expand to twitter. Would it be worth it to crosspost to other fora? I'm not really active on many.
Quote from: Enki-][ on January 18, 2009, 03:20:31 AM
Would it be worth it to crosspost to other fora? I'm not really active on many.
Yea, spread the word!
Quote from: Cramulus on January 18, 2009, 04:09:35 AM
Quote from: Enki-][ on January 18, 2009, 03:20:31 AM
Would it be worth it to crosspost to other fora? I'm not really active on many.
Yea, spread the word!
totally. also, please back-cross-post any reactions you get, since that appeals to our collective vanity.
Yeah so the January edition is coming out in February. I've got too much shit on my plate this week to finish it up. I'm 97% sure I can have it finished by the end of next week, however.
So I'd say this thread can be unstickied and tack up the one for the next one.
Ok, should I post up what Khara and I sent to RWHN for #3? Or is there someone taking it on that I should pm it to?
I'm not rushing here, I figured that since I have the time to think about it now, I'd ask now.
BUMP for RWHN---
still very excited about this issue, can't wait to see it in print.
anything I can do to help?
There may be, but the thing is on my laptop which is at work, and due to the messy storm, I am not at work. I will take a look and see if there is something I can farm out to you. I will make an earnest attempt to put the thing together next week.
UPDATE: I have set aside some time during the last week of this month to hammer this puppy out. I am taking a couple of days off to get my car repaired, inspected, and registered (fucking State of Maine), so while I am stuck at home with no transportation I will have my laptop with me and I will complete #3. So look for a release by March 27th, or the 28th at the latest.
:banana:
:D:hi5::D
I'm looking forward to this.
HEY SPAGS!!!
I'm putting this bad boy together as we speak. It's going swimmingly except for one thing. I've got me lots of text and I'm a little short on visual imagery. So, if someone wants to volunteer going through the submissions in this thread and suggest an apporpriate visual to pair with it, that would be outstanding!!!! Ideally a visual it is okay for me to publish without lawyers sending me nasty letters.
And LMNO and Rat, you sent me things via PM so if you two have any ideas of what kind of visuals would be appropriate for yours that would be appreciated. Or if you just want it left as walls of text that's fine too. Basically, I don't want to squash someone's writing by putting a garish piece of eye candy next to it.
I forgot what I sent you. :oops:
Suggestion for images which you won't be sued for using:
http://www.dafont.com/search.php?psize=m&q=fnord
Quote from: LMNO on March 27, 2009, 03:08:01 PM
I forgot what I sent you. :oops:
For lack of a better description the "click" piece.
Oh yeah! From Nanowrimo.
I suppose an image of some slacker with a remote channel surfing would work.
Okay, I'll see what I can do.
Jenne and I did the "Dear Abby" kind of thing right?
I can't think of what we can use, maybe a stripper pole pic?
Two angry octogenarians.
Quote from: K-Bitch on March 27, 2009, 03:25:32 PM
Jenne and I did the "Dear Abby" kind of thing right?
I can't think of what we can use, maybe a stripper pole pic?
http://www.dafont.com/darrians-sexy-silho.font
I like those, but I'm doing this on my work laptop and am a little leary of downloading fonts to it.
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=18902.msg629086#msg629086
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 27, 2009, 03:57:01 PM
I like those, but I'm doing this on my work laptop and am a little leary of downloading fonts to it.
Well, if you like any enough to use them I can save your picks as high res images in your preferred file format.
You can view the entire set of glyphs on dafont without downloading them.
Well I don't recall what I sent either, but I support any graphic, eye candy, eye candy with razors in it or eye laxatives disguised as candy...
Your was a poem about The Strange Times. So I put one of Cram's juxtoposition thingies at the end. It's getting closer folks. Get some lotion and tissues handy.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 27, 2009, 04:35:50 PM
Your was a poem about The Strange Times. So I put one of Cram's juxtoposition thingies at the end. It's getting closer folks. Get some lotion and tissues handy.
Ah yes :)
Great!
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 27, 2009, 04:35:50 PM
Your was a poem about The Strange Times. So I put one of Cram's juxtoposition thingies at the end. It's getting closer folks. Get some lotion and tissues handy.
You underestimate my preparedness when it comes to fap-worthy situations.
just need to add a table of contents page, PDF, and then it shall be ready.
Speaking of...where should I upload this puppy?
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 27, 2009, 05:59:33 PM
just need to add a table of contents page, PDF, and then it shall be ready.
Speaking of...where should I upload this puppy?
I can host it at intermittens...
This is going to be a big one. It's going to come in at about 50 pages. I had a couple of rather large submissions.
Yeah, so, while I'm finishing up, Rat, you might explain to me how to upload the thing at intermittens.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 27, 2009, 06:14:17 PM
This is going to be a big one. It's going to come in at about 50 pages. I had a couple of rather large submissions.
Yeah, so, while I'm finishing up, Rat, you might explain to me how to upload the thing at intermittens.
Since it's so big you have to use ftp... check your messages :)
Gah! Apparently the PDF converter on my work laptop was only a trial version and has run out. I am pursuing other options. Stay tuned...
Okay, I downloaded a free PDF creator and converted and uploaded to the intermittens site. I've asked Rat to do the publishing part for me. I'm pretty much out of time for the day, my wife will be home soon and it's family time now. Anyway, once you are able to view it give me your feedback on it. The graphics came out not to great and so I welcome tips on what I can do to make them not come out so pixely. Any changes, however, won't be made until Monday. So that's that...have a great weekend spags.
BYE RWHN...have a great weekend. Look forward to persual.
Loaded for Bear!
You can check it out via an embedded view via the "Intermittens #3 link in the top box, or you can download it via the "Download Issues' tab on the right side.
http://www.intermittens.org (http://www.intermittens.org)
Also, all of the articles from Issue #1 are now available online via the "Past Issues" link at the top.
Once I have the raw text for Issue #2 we can upload those as well!
Poke around, let me know if anything needs fixed.
Should we add comment boxes? Should we have a Shoutbox? Any ideas?
50 pages? Wow... :lol:
Mine is going to be the shortest yet; I only expect about 20 pages. Maybe less if I run out of ideas.
Is this the final version of #3 or should I wait a bit to pimp this thing out?
RWHN said "Any changes, however, won't be made until Monday. " ---- so I'm guessing we should hold off before blasting it to scribd, 23ae, et al
:mittens: to RWHN! This is sexayyyyayayayayyyyy
more thoughts later
HOLY SHIT IT'S AWESOME!
Soooo worth the wait, RWHN. I love it!
well I'm not happy with the way the images came out. Any tips on how to fix that? They look fine before PDF.
They look just peachy keen to me, but then I'm not picky and I'm no expert.
You did FANTABULOUSLY! Esp since dayum that's a long mag! I hope everyone's as happy with it as I am, and I hope everyone in this place reads it. Ima go to EB&G and promote!
ETA: DUN! eb&g and poee have now been spammed! :D
:mittens: to everyone, esp Mr. teh RWHN
Also, I know I didn't use that Scribd thing or whatever for the layout. But I felt more comfortable using something I'm familiar with, for doing publications. But I figure, mine can be the Super Mario Bros. 2 of the publication. :wink:
I can't make the download work. :sad:
Hm, maybe Rata can help you with that, Cainad.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 27, 2009, 11:17:33 PM
Also, I know I didn't use that Scribd thing or whatever for the layout. But I felt more comfortable using something I'm familiar with, for doing publications. But I figure, mine can be the Super Mario Bros. 2 of the publication. :wink:
Rev, what program did you use? I may be able to help you with your pixelation issues.
I did it on MS Word.
Yeah, I know, but it's what I had to work with.
I'm going to play with the images on Monday and see if I can make any improvements.
I feel your pain regarding laying stuff out in MS Word. I absolutely hate that thing. But here are a few suggested edits - feel free to take 'em or leave 'em, it's just nitpicky stuff that occurs to me...
Table of Contents: change the title of my piece to "Weirdness in 3175".
Page 7 - 8: Needs some explanation. Also needs linebreaks or intentations.
Page 10: change the title of my piece to "Weirdness in 3175".
Page 11: in text box at bottom. Delete "-cramulus" - unnecessary, it's already my article. :)
Page 16: move author's name from end of article (p17) to byline
Page 18: change “It was a very rewarding experience, but I totally came when they brought out the bacon explosion.” to “For a supposedly primitive culture, they are surprisingly proficient with MS-Paint. We could learn a lot from these nomadic spags.”
Page 19 - 22: needs indentations or space between paragraphs. You might accomplish this by making "click" a different style. (like bold or italic) Article needs a heading, too. Move "lmno" at end to byline.
Page 27 - 28: is there a title for this piece? Poems shouldn't have the phrase "a poem" in the title. :p If all else fails, use the first line of the poem. This might also look better if you compressed it down to one page -- might be able to pull this off by setting both pages in 2-column mode, left aligned, in a smaller font. If possible, a poem shouldn't spill over a page break.
Page 29: Cain's piece needs a heading and byline. To break up the text further, you might sprinkle the flying ass ghost dance pix throughout?
General: a lot of this text would look better Justified instead of left-aligned.
regarding fonts: magazine body text is generally a serif font whereas heading text is generally sans serif. Ms-Word Protip: you can actually change the whole damn issue at once by editing the "Normal" style. Try to avoid using times new roman and arial because they can really make stuff look like an ms-word document.
be sensitive towards style choices - when you do something one way, be prepared to do it that way for the rest of the issue. For example the bylines - sometimes you use "By: name" and sometimes it's "---name" at the end of the article. The body fonts go back and forth between serif and sans-serif seemingly arbitrarily.
Overall Rev, I'd say you did an awesome job -- especially for using MS Word! There's a lot of great material in here. It's so badass to see everybody's work in a sexy PDF like this.
:mittens:
Okay, so then I need input from Ratatosk, LMNO, and Cain as to what to tile their pieces, or in the case of Ratatosk, if he wants his renamed inlight of Cram's suggestion, if not, I will just let it be.
I will standardize the by-lines and make the changes to your pieces Cram, as you suggested.
I'll take a look at the fonts and will experiment with a couple of different ones. Though, I have to confess I am a bit of a stubborn bastard and will probably not make all of the pieces look exactly the same with exactly the same fonts. It's just an aesthetic thing for me and I kind of like each piece having its own personality. It's how I did things when I did the literary zine back in the day. It's just my stamp I guess. I'll try to have those changes done today and see if I can get the pictures to come out better.
As I said, in the end, this one may stick out like a sore thumb compared to the 2 prior and the ones that will follow, and I'm okay with that and I hope others are too. I also know I won't be volunteering to do this again just because it is way too time consuming. I'd rather just contribute writings going forward.
"Strange Times..."
How's that?
It's your piece. I'm fine with whatever you want to call it. So if that's what you like that's what I'll go with.
I hear ya Rev.
The idea of Intermittens is not to publish a sexy commercial-quality magazine, so I wouldn't sweat it too hard. Like I said, I think the issue looks great. 8)
Ratatosk:
since there's already an essay called "The Strange Times", a poem called "Strange Times" seems a bit confusing though, no?
My piece can be called "Get Ready for the Wierdness" or something like that. I'm not too worried.
Well since Mr. Alphapance clearly thinks his job is more important than Intermittens I'm going to go ahead and call his piece. "Vocoders: Why I love Frank Zappa." :wink:
Fuck you, it's called "Strange Times".
:lulz: eat butts, all of you
Lick my big blue upside-down cock, biker boi.
How about "My 34000th Post"?
I NEED A WHEELBARROW TO CARRY AROUND MY ENORMOUS E-PEEN.
Quote from: Cramulus on March 30, 2009, 03:32:17 PM
I hear ya Rev.
The idea of Intermittens is not to publish a sexy commercial-quality magazine, so I wouldn't sweat it too hard. Like I said, I think the issue looks great. 8)
Ratatosk:
since there's already an essay called "The Strange Times", a poem called "Strange Times" seems a bit confusing though, no?
Then how about "What Strange Times..."?
Quote from: Ratatosk on March 30, 2009, 05:50:33 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on March 30, 2009, 03:32:17 PM
I hear ya Rev.
The idea of Intermittens is not to publish a sexy commercial-quality magazine, so I wouldn't sweat it too hard. Like I said, I think the issue looks great. 8)
Ratatosk:
since there's already an essay called "The Strange Times", a poem called "Strange Times" seems a bit confusing though, no?
Then how about "What Strange Times..."?
Synonnyms for "strange": aberrant, abnormal, astonishing, astounding, atypical, bizarre, curious, different, eccentric, erratic, exceptional, extraordinary, fantastic, far-out, funny, idiosyncratic, ignorant, inexperienced, irregular, marvelous, mystifying, new, newfangled*, odd, oddball, off, offbeat, out-of-the-way,
outlandish, peculiar, perplexing, quaint, queer, rare, remarkable, singular, unaccountable, unaccustomed, uncanny, uncommon, unheard of, unseasoned, unusual, weird, wonderful
Emphasis mine. :wink:
UPDATE: People kept piling work on my desk today so not all changes have been made yet. Tomorrow is another day.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on March 30, 2009, 09:34:00 PM
Tomorrow is another day.
dont take their word for it! i'm from a future timezone and so far, I'm not entirely sure just
what to make of it, if anything.
like the year of Nothing, today isnt much of anything either.
plus, i LOVED the magazine! just read it, very cool!