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I'm Feeling Lucky.

Started by Pæs, June 03, 2014, 02:20:29 AM

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Pæs

June 03, 2014, 02:20:29 AM Last Edit: June 03, 2014, 02:22:45 AM by Pæs
Immanentize Insurance

4650 Eagle Drive
Detroit, MI 48226
Phone : 734-780-4408
Fax : 734-780-4409

Your ref : ESCT / 0023
Our Ref : FML / 1 / 1224

3 June - 2014

To :

Mr. Trent N. Stanton,
Mutiara Stores Sdn Bhd,
1694 Orchard Street
Minneapolis, MN 55401

Dear Mr. Stanton,

RE : Policy No. ZP 214/35

It is our desire to thoroughly investigate every claim which is reported to us and to make payment for those losses for which are covered under your policy. 

We have received your claims form No. 34276 in which, under our All-Care plan, you claimed $25,000 and ongoing medical expenses for your son, James N. Stanton after a vehicle collision in which he was knocked from his bicycle by a driverless car.

I regret to inform you after conducting an extensive review of your policy, we have found no coverage under this policy for your loss and so cannot pay compensation in this case as the damage was caused by factors outside the terms of the policy. If you check your policy, you will find that while you are fully covered for injuries sustained in motor-vehicle accidents, an exemption applies if the accident was caused by an Act of Google, defined in your policy as 'an unforeseeable phenomenon which involves no human agency and which is due directly and exclusively to decisions made by the artificial and superior intelligence of Google products and services.'

We offer our sympathies to you and while Immanentize Insurance cannot offer cover against Acts of Google we can assure you on Google's behalf that that these decisions are made based on relevant information from a variety of sources including the day's news, the email metadata of the parties involved, up-to-the-minute weather and other content hosted and owned by Google. As stated in their terms and conditions, Google will use the data it received regarding this incident to improve their error-handling services in future.

If you still have doubts, I can send a representative over to explain the present policy carefully to you.

Sincerely,

Randal J. Barnes
Manager

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
June 03, 2014, 03:00:19 AM
 :lulz: :?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
June 03, 2014, 03:57:30 PM
 :lulz: You should post this on the Church of Google forum, if it still exists.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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