The Spiritual Fridge is Full of Leftovers

[Cramulus]

I felt hungry
But not hungry for food.I was spirit hungry, soul hungry.

It was midnight. Wearing naught but a bathrobe and a five o'clock shadow, I opened the spiritual fridge and squinted in its its fluorescent glow. My nipples hardened at the chill.

Leftovers!

There was some glazed and oversweet Christmas Ham taking up most of the fridge. I had gotten sick of it but couldn't bear to throw it away. Pushing it aside, I spotted some wafers from the tenth century. Blech.

On the next shelf there were some Chakras sealed away in tupperware. Kind of weird, and I didn't really want to get into them. I had ordered them from this Indian place as an experiment, but they didn't really suit me.

Maybe a glass of wine would help me sleep? Eh, all I had was some manischewitz - also too sweet for my taste. I was lost in the fridge, not the desert. My toes were gripping lenolium, not hot sand and sharp rocks.


Hungry for substance, meaning. Hungry for something fulfilling and worthwhile. Something that would taste good but not leave me feeling guilty.

Something was mummified in plastic wrap. I unwrapped it and sniffed. Ancient. Smelled like it would have been tasty thousands of years ago, but it had gone bad. The modern palette has trouble reconciling this old fashioned stuff.

There was a lot of condiments, but nothing substantial. Fire and brimstone goes well with anything. There were some preservatives like mysticism and dogma. Some cooks think Eternal Rewards should be applied generously to any dish. Personally, I think they're best used in moderation.

The freezer wasn't much better. What wasn't overcooked to begin with was scorched by freezer burn.

Sometimes I like complicated, rich dishes. Sometimes I want simple, minimalist affairs. Maybe I could make a gumbo from all the stuff in here. But somehow I didn't think all those tastes would get along well.

What else was in here? Soda, but that wouldn't help me sleep. Some sort of sacrifice, but that wouldn't fill me up. Butter. Cheap beer - hey, beer might be a good start!

I was sick of take-out. And no one delivers this late anyway. The spiritual fridge is full of fast food, condiments, and leftovers.

My eyes drifted to the dusty cookbook lying on top of the fridge next to the phone book. If I wasn't so tired, maybe I'd cook something. Maybe after a beer or two. I wondered if anything good was on TV.

I yawned. I picked my nose. Hmm, in fact, didn't taste bad at all. As I opened my beer, I shut the fridge. The kitchen was dark again.

[Triple Zero]

"no one delivers this late anyway"

"The spiritual fridge is full of fast food, condiments, and leftovers."



great similes, symbolisms, those things.

do you think there could be an alternate ending? where you do find something palatable?

how about:

My eyes drifted to the dusty cookbook lying on top of the fridge, next to the phone book. If I wasn't so tired, maybe I'd cook something. Maybe after a beer or two. I wondered if anything good was on TV. I yawned. I picked my nose. Hmm, in fact didn't taste bad at all.

[Cramulus]

 

that's a pretty good ending actually

[Triple Zero]

".. and i continued probing and digging with blood on my fingers all the way up to my pineal gland."

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Props Prof! Nicely metaphorical.

[Bu🤠ns]

 

[AFK]

This thread has the Squeek of Approval. 

[Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.)]

That needs to be LOLCATTED.

[Darth Cupcake]

[Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.)]

FUNNAYER DAMNIT¬!!!1three

[AFK]

perhaps further attempts should be moved to the Pics thread.  I'd hate to see my kitty de-rail Cram's thread. 

[Darth Cupcake]

FUNNAYER DAMNIT¬!!!1three

I'm sorry, I'm not very funny today.

[Triple Zero]