OPEN BAR: NO CISNORMATIVE ELVEN PATRIARCHS ALLOWED

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  I love this.

[Doktor Howl]

With the boss away
Somehow more work shit gets done
Everyone is amazed

[Cain]

An empty inbox
No emails were sent or recieved
Dayshift incompetents

[LMNO]

I called to tell you
The email sent earlier
Was faxed to you, too.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Perhaps thread split for future finding of haikus?

[LMNO]

Asleep at his desk
Then wonders why he has no
Annual bonus.

[Bruno]

Apply, no response
Benefits resume at last
Should apply for SNAP

[Cain]

Paperwork not done
Boss suggests one shift does all
Go fuck yourself, man.

Edit: seriously what just happened, via email.  We complain we spend all shift doing the paperwork the previous three days of shifts did not do.  Boss says, and I quote "maybe we should allocate this particular task to sets shifts or set individuals going forward" - clear implication being that we should do it always, since apparently no-one else is capable.

I have sent an email telling him, in no uncertain terms, that this is a terrible idea.  I mean, really?  Sure, lets only update the fire list once a week.  It's not like it's a statutory requirement that it be kept up to date as possible or anything.  Jesus fucking Christ.

[Doktor Howl]

So, the big bosses have called me, asking me pointed questions concerning the current state of the plant.

I could have been diplomatic.

...

...

...

[Cain]

I have my probation review tomorrow evening.

Lets see if I still have a job this time tomorrow night.

[Doktor Howl]

I have my probation review tomorrow evening.

Lets see if I still have a job this time tomorrow night.

Well, here's hoping.

[LMNO]

So, the big bosses have called me, asking me pointed questions concerning the current state of the plant.

I could have been diplomatic.

...

...

...

Feel free to include any amusing anecdotes.

[Cain]

Well, it would kinda be fun, to get sacked.

Because then I would have absolutely no reason to hold back about this place.  Also, letters would be sent to various regulatory agencies which have, thus far, been unable to inspect the place due to certain paperwork based methods which keep this place off the books.  In educational terms, this place is like a blacksite that OFSTED have no way of knowing about...until someone has reason to tell them.

[Doktor Howl]

So, the big bosses have called me, asking me pointed questions concerning the current state of the plant.

I could have been diplomatic.

...

...

...

Feel free to include any amusing anecdotes.

Oh, I just said morale is in the toilet, we have the best leadership since General Burnsides, and the boss rules via humiliation.

On the downside, I was also told that Anne McWaters retired.  She was our chief legal counsel, and I worked with her quite closely on Science Gestapo jobs.  I will sincerely miss her.

[Cain]

False fire alarm
He wanted his steak well done
Co-workers = philistines