News:

Hand drawn by monkeys in sweat-shop conditions.

Main Menu

Rev Roger, Welcome to the Monkey House, #5: Country Music and You.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 25, 2009, 09:02:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

The Good Reverend Roger

I love hearing how none of you culture snobs like country music.  Now, I can understand why, given modern "country music"...However, as ECH and I have said, REAL country music is classic stuff, all written about horrible fucking dysfunctions such as alcoholism, chronic depression, obsession/stalking, domestic murder, and all the other shit that made America great. 

For example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1s8nRL2bPCU&feature=related

Now, doesn't that sound CHEERFUL?  Right up to the point where you realize what the hell is really going on.  Fact is, Porter Waggoner, Johnny Cash, Buck Owen, and Hank Williams Sr understood the horror of the American Dream, and you don't.  If you DID, you'd be writing shit like "The Green, Green Grass of Home" and "I Don't Remember Loving You", while you turned your liver into something resembling a large smelly cheese.  But you aren't.  You're busy doing shit in DAYLIGHT...

Oh, and that reminds me.  If you hadn't killed all the great country musicians, there would not be any of these fucking emo kids running around.  Those titans had a monopoly on darkness, and they would have spent 2 weeks killing all the emo kids and making guitar strings out of their guts, and then they'd get back down to the serious business of writing music and pounding more whiskey than the entire United States congress.

But it's just as well that they're gone.  If they were alive today, seeing America would kill them.  There's no ROOM for crusty old bastards telling The Truth, when the stages are all full of young airheads with perfect bodies and absolutely nothing to say.  Calling Shakira a musician is the same as saying you voted for Palin because she had tits.  Lots of women have tits, but that doesn't mean you want one for president unless she also has BRAINS.  Likewise, Shakira is a DANCER, yet people insist on calling her a SINGER, despite the horrible drek she bellows.  If God actually LIKED us, he's send Minnie Pearl back from the dead to shove a sock in Shakira's mouth, and tell her to shut up and dance.

So go on...go listen to your hipster shit and your weak-ass, watered down so-called "rock and roll" (which also ain't what it used to be), and just forget all about the giants that TRIED to tell you the score, while you were too busy trying to pretend you like what plays on the radio and the teevee and the fucking evening news.  Go back into your delusions that everything is good and this is the best of all possible worlds, and I just hope to GOD that hammer comes down on you first, so that I can at least have the pleasure of feeding your pulped remains to livestock before they get me!

AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Or Kill Me.



" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

rong

"a real smart feller, he felt smart"

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: rong on January 25, 2009, 09:31:41 PM
2x

also: reminded me of this and thought it was relevant:

you know country music is fucked up when hank williams, sr. is kicked out of the grand ol' opry

They also threw Johnny Cash out.

Basically, if the Grand Ole Opry approves, then it's watered down shit made for Baptists and pseudo-patriots.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

rong

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 25, 2009, 09:35:17 PM
Quote from: rong on January 25, 2009, 09:31:41 PM
2x

also: reminded me of this and thought it was relevant:

you know country music is fucked up when hank williams, sr. is kicked out of the grand ol' opry

They also threw Johnny Cash out.

Basically, if the Grand Ole Opry approves, then it's watered down shit made for Baptists and pseudo-patriots.

dude- didn't know that.  fuck those fucks then.
"a real smart feller, he felt smart"

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: rong on January 25, 2009, 09:36:37 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 25, 2009, 09:35:17 PM
Quote from: rong on January 25, 2009, 09:31:41 PM
2x

also: reminded me of this and thought it was relevant:

you know country music is fucked up when hank williams, sr. is kicked out of the grand ol' opry

They also threw Johnny Cash out.

Basically, if the Grand Ole Opry approves, then it's watered down shit made for Baptists and pseudo-patriots.

dude- didn't know that.  fuck those fucks then.

In the period when Porter Wagonner hosted it, it wasn't so bad.  Before and after that, it represents "safe" country music.  Which, of course, makes country music totally valueless.  Same thing applies to rock & roll.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

Preach it, brother!


LMNO
-Thinks some of those olde-tymin' Appalachian bastards had some good shit too, before "bluegrass" took out the pain and misery.

hooplala

I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC!! 

I'm not sure what LMNO is talking about, though.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

AFK

I'll admit, when I grew up, I had a "thing" against Country music.  But, you have to understand, where I grew up, we had 5 radio stations.  3 that played Country, 1 that was Top 40, and NPR.  So it was everywhere, it was inescapable, it was a part of the culture where I grew up, and so it was oversaturated and it was what the "cool kids" in school listened to.  However, as I got older, I learned to appreciate some of the more old-time country that I hadn't really been exposed to when I was country.  I actually own a Johnny Cash CD now (no, not the one with the NIN cover).  I'm still not really a "fan" or anything, but, I don't have the disdain for it that I used to have.  Well, except for the new shit, that stuff is rank.  I'd rather listen to old-tyme country than Avenged Sevenfold any day of the week. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

hooplala

Quote from: R.W.H.N. on January 26, 2009, 03:48:29 PMI actually own a Johnny Cash CD now (no, not the one with the NIN cover). 

Hey now... that album is an extremely decent one.

Go look up some Ernest Tubb and Kitty Wells for more old time pleasure.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

AFK

To clarify, I wasn't dissing that Cash album.  I just figured it might be assumed that was the one I had.  Actually, the one I have is the album with "Delia's Gone" on it.  I bought it after I saw the video for it on MTV. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

hooplala

"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

Dysfunctional Cunt

Roger, as always, outstanding!!!  :mittens:

I have to agree, there are some gems out there that are certainly good rules to live by....  

This is one of my favorites....

Mind Your Own Business - (Hank Williams)

If the wife and I are fussin' brother that's our right
'Cause me and that sweet woman's got a licence to fight
Why don't you mind your own business mind your own business
'Cause if you mind your own business then you won't be mindin' mine.

Oh, the woman on our party line's a nosey thing
She pick up her receiver when she knows it's my ring
Why don't you mind your own business mind your own business
Well, if you mind your own business then you won't be mindin' mine.

I got a little gal that wears her hair up high
The boys all whistle when she walks by
Why don't you mind your own business mind your own business
Well if you mind your own business then you sure won't be mindin' mine.

If I want to honky tonk around till two or three
Now brother that's my headache don't you worry bout me
Just mind your own business mind your own business
If you mind your own business then you won't be mindin' mine.

Mindin' other people's business seems to be hightone
But I got all that I can do just midin' my own
Why don't you mind your own business (mind your own business)
Mind your own business (mind your own business)
If you mind your own business you'll stay busy all the time...

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

I agree. I was born and raised in the hillbilly sector of Ohio and grew up only songs that either made you bust with pride (Country Boy Will Survive, feel some real emotion (Little Green Apples) or realize how fucked up some poor sods life is (Cold, Cold Heart). Even modern guys like Garth Brooks have a couple songs that have some real meaning to them... Standing Outside the Fire and The River.

The bluegrass side of country is really fantastic as well. Some songs are full of bitterness, some are the only ray of hope entire social groups had when everything around them seemed hopeless. Sure, your corps may be failing, money may be tight and the factories might be closing, but what did that matter when you could sit on the porch with a few friends and let a mandolin, banjo, guitar and fiddle weave a safety blanket around you?

How can you stay sad and hopeless when you can belt out:

Standing on the corner with the lowdown blues
A great big hole in the bottom of my shoes
Honey let me be your salty dog

   Let me be your salty dog
   Or I won't be your man at all
   Honey let me be your salty dog

Look it here Sal, I know you
Run down stocking and a wore out shoe
Honey let me be your salty dog

Down in the wildwood sitting on a log
Finger on the trigger and an eye on the hog
Honey let me be your salty dog

Pulled the trigger and the gun set go
The shot fell over in Mexico
Honey let me be your salty dog
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

fomenter

"So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH! Surf's up space ponies! I'm makin' gravy... Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha!"


hmroogp

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

Quote from: Fomenter on January 26, 2009, 08:23:12 PM
:lulz: they sang that on the hillbilly episode of mayberry

All of Mayberry was hillbilly... Andy Griffith is a badass on guitar.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=andy+griffith+bluegrass&aq=0&oq=Andy+Griffith+bl

Some lovely selections ;-)

In fact, I think I remember him ripping it up on Matlock once or twice ;-)
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson