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EoC's World of Dispatching

Started by Eater of Clowns, September 30, 2010, 01:32:55 AM

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Eater of Clowns

I've been meaning to make this thread for a loong time.  It will be a depository for all the fucked up, depressing, and sometimes hilarious shit that I come across in my job.  Sometimes it'll come a few times a night, sometimes not for a few weeks, but I'll try to keep it running.

****************

A woman called today.  She'd received a notice in the mail that someone would be coming to pick her up and "deliver" her to court for money she owed.  Basically it was a notice that a warrant was out for her arrest.  I told her to get in touch with our warrant division, which unfortunately won't be available until tomorrow, but that as far as I knew nobody would be acting on that tonight.  She was upset.  Nearing tears.  Her voice quivered and she half-whispered, "I just think it's ridiculous, for eighty-eight dollars."
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Suu

Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Eater of Clowns

Quote from: Doktor Princess on September 30, 2010, 03:54:23 AM
A warrant out for $88? Christ.

What the hell could I say?  I responded with, essentially, "I agree, and I'm sorry."

Maybe as the weeks go by all of these won't be as disheartening.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

I owe the City of Portland more than that due to stupid parking tickets and similar such bureaucratic fuck-knuckling.

I've had to move my car into hiding until I get new tags.

:ninja:

P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Jasper

Your job sounds like a lot of fun, EoC.  No, really.

LMNO

I'm wondering how long she owed that money.  That kind of shit usually happens when it's been outstanding for a really long time.  Which kind of mitigates the sorrow, when you realize that if she stuffed $5 in to a sock each week, she'd have the money in four months.

Eater of Clowns

Quote from: Sigmatic on September 30, 2010, 08:24:38 AM
Your job sounds like a lot of fun, EoC.  No, really.

The thing is, my job is actually pretty great.  Most of my time on PD is from there, I've read dozens of books, played through a few DS games, watch movies and football at work, and the pay isn't awful.  It's just the fucked up shit that I'm, well not exposed to, but privy to in some odd detached way.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

the last yatto

Couldn't help but notice it seems you owe the board fourty-two dollars
Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit

Cramulus

Good topic for a thread, EoC -- I've always wondered what your day is like.

Jasper

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 30, 2010, 02:49:01 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on September 30, 2010, 08:24:38 AM
Your job sounds like a lot of fun, EoC.  No, really.

The thing is, my job is actually pretty great.  Most of my time on PD is from there, I've read dozens of books, played through a few DS games, watch movies and football at work, and the pay isn't awful.  It's just the fucked up shit that I'm, well not exposed to, but privy to in some odd detached way.

For some reason I could see myself loving a job like that.  My theme song would be Oingo Boingo - Nasty Habits.

Richter

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 30, 2010, 04:54:06 AM
Quote from: Doktor Princess on September 30, 2010, 03:54:23 AM
A warrant out for $88? Christ.

What the hell could I say?  I responded with, essentially, "I agree, and I'm sorry."

Maybe as the weeks go by all of these won't be as disheartening.

She will beg for the chance to pay her library fines NOW!
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Eater of Clowns

Like I figured, it could be a few months between updates, but this is a good one:


We just took a call from a local police department requesting our K9 officer for a track.  The situation is that a guy dressed as Santa Claus just unslung a rifle from his back and robbed a bar.

:lulz:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Jenne

#12
Dude that sounds like the start of a typical bar joke:

"So a guy dressed as Santa walks into a bar, takes out a shotgun and says, 'gimme all your cash and I'll take a pint of your finest as well!'" etc.

Phox


Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 20, 2010, 12:30:31 AM
Like I figured, it could be a few months between updates, but this is a good one:


We just took a call from a local police department requesting our K9 officer for a track.  The situation is that a guy dressed as Santa Claus just unslung a rifle from his back and robbed a bar.

:lulz:

Now that's proper holiday spirit. Was that guy from Tuscon?
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.