Who am "I"?

[vexaph0d]

not all religions are stoopid. some are just... well..

when I lived in tucson, working as a lowly carpet cleaner/traveling bullshit salesman, i once had the pleasure of cleaning the carpets in the house that served as the monastery for the Universal Life Church.  it wasn't really much of a monastery but it was home to an eccentric man named Brother Daniel, who told me about how the government is always following up on obscure religious cults' claims for tax exemption, making sure that they at least actually believe the crap they put on the forms.  the IRS' attention was, of course, drawn to one such band of yahoos in san francisco who allegedly worshipped the penis.  they sent two very serious tax-enforcement type guys to the building where this cult held their services, the climax of which included all the congregants giving each other blowjobs.  they insisted that the IRS guys join them, which they didn't, being on the clock and too good for that kind of thing anyway, but they got the tax exemption.

this story is not a story.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Most religions prolly started out as something sensible but that died the very instant people started to follow them. This is why I maintain that, to all intents and purposes, all religions are stupid. Followed by dumb people, led by people whom, if they weren't stupid, would fucking know better. Mystic Ninja is the only valid religion. It's a church of one. Try to join and I will stop you.

End of sermon.

[faust]

I am.

[B_M_W]

No, you aren't.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Oooooooh yes he is!

[hunter s.durden]

I'm going to go ahead and say that all religions are indeed stoopid. I honestly can't think of one that isn't complete idiocy.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Good man! Now choose and altar and kneel.

[LHX]

its all about self-savior

no religion can offer that, but all religions have some useful tools


its like lego

use it poorly and you build a unsightly jagged block

take it apart and rearrange it and you can have noah's ark

[P3nT4gR4m]

Holy fuck! How comes evryone seems to be on my wavelength tonite? Need to adjust frequency - this is not normal.

[faust]

I have always been of the belief thats there are elements of truth and usefull things in everything. Its a basic enough notion that religion would be no exception.
For example Ireland, though there were terrible horrors done by the priests and the abuse in magdalen laundries and industrial schools(these are still unforgivable), the education system in Ireland would have been all but gone(Britain was not the most supportive of irish education),it grew and has now become one of the best in the world.

[DJRubberducky]

I am the sum total of my experiences, both direct and indirect, and my interpretations of them.

(This is actually a significant modification to my philosophy - I'd have stopped after the word "indirect" previously.)

[LMNO]

That last bit is incredibly important, is true.

[LHX]

The 99 + 1 Attributes of Allah

1    Allah (الله)    (The) God
2    Ar-Rahman (الرحمن)    The All Beneficent
3    Ar-Rahim (الرحيم)    The Most Merciful
4    Al-Malik (الملك)    The King, The Sovereign
5    Al-Quddus (القدوس)    The Most Holy
6    As-Salam (السلام)    The Peace and Blessing
7    Al-Mu'min (المؤمن)    The Guarantor
8    Al-Muhaymin (المهيمن)    The Guardian, The Preserver
9    Al-Aziz (العزيز)    The Almighty, The Self Sufficient
10    Al-Jabbar (الجبار)    The Powerful, The Irresistible
11    Al-Mutakabbir (المتكبر)    The Tremendous
12    Al-Khaliq (الخالق)    The Creator
13    Al-Bari' (البارئ)    The Maker
14    Al-Musawwir (المصور)    The Fashioner of Forms
15    Al-Ghaffar (الغفار)    The Ever Forgiving
16    Al-Qahhar (القهار)    The All Compelling Subduer
17    Al-Wahhab (الوهاب)    The Bestower
18    Ar-Razzaq (الرزاق)    The Ever Providing
19    Al-Fattah (الفتاح)    The Opener, The Victory Giver
20    Al-`Alim (العليم)    The All Knowing, The Omniscient
21    Al-Qabid (القابض)    The Restrainer, The Straightener
22    Al-Basit (الباسط)    The Expander, The Munificent
23    Al-Khafid (الخافض)    The Abaser
24    Ar-Rafi (الرافع)    The Exalter
25    Al-Mu'izz (المعز)    The Giver of Honour
26    Al-Mudhill (المذل)    The Giver of Dishonour
27    As-Sami (السميع)    The All Hearing
28    Al-Basir (البصير)    The All Seeing
29    Al-Hakam (الحكم)    The Judge, The Arbitrator
30    Al-`Adl (العدل)    The Utterly Just
31    Al-Latif (اللطيف)    The Subtly Kind
32    Al-Khabir (الخبير)    The All Aware
33    Al-Halim (الحليم)    The Forbearing, The Indulgent
34    Al-Azim (العظيم)    The Magnificent, The Infinite
35    Al-Ghafur (الغفور)    The All Forgiving
36    Ash-Shakur (الشكور)    The Grateful
37    Al-Ali (العلى)    The Sublimely Exalted
38    Al-Kabir (الكبير)    The Great
39    Al-Hafiz (الحفيظ)    The Preserver
40    Al-Muqit (المقيت)    The Nourisher
41    Al-Hasib (الحسيب)    The Reckoner
42    Al-Jalil (الجليل)    The Majestic
43    Al-Karim (الكريم)    The Bountiful, The Generous
44    Ar-Raqib (الرقيب)    The Watchful
45    Al-Mujib (المجيب)    The Responsive, The Answerer
46    Al-Wasi (الواسع)    The Vast, The All Encompassing
47    Al-Hakim (الحكيم)    The Wise
48    Al-Wadud (الودود)    The Loving, The Kind One
49    Al-Majid (المجيد)    The All Glorious
50    Al-Ba'ith (الباعث)    The Raiser of The Dead
51    Ash-Shahid (الشهيد)    The Witness
52    Al-Haqq (الحق)    The Truth, The Real
53    Al-Wakil (الوكيل)    The Trustee, The Dependable
54    Al-Qawiyy (القوى)    The Strong
55    Al-Matin (المتين)    The Firm, The Steadfast
56    Al-Waliyy (الولى)    The Protecting Friend, Patron and Helper
57    Al-Hamid (الحميد)    The All Praiseworthy
58    Al-Muhsi (المحصى)    The Accounter, The Numberer of All
59    Al-Mubdi' (المبدئ)    The Producer, Originator, and Initiator of all
60    Al-Mu'id (المعيد)    The Reinstater Who Brings Back All
61    Al-Muhyi (المحيى)    The Giver of Life
62    Al-Mumit (المميت)    The Bringer of Death, The Destroyer
63    Al-Hayy (الحي)    The Ever Living
64    Al-Qayyum (القيوم)    The Self Subsisting Sustainer of All
65    Al-Wajid (الواجد)    The Perceiver, The Finder, The Unfailing
66    Al-Majid (الماجد)    The Illustrious, The Magnificent
67    Al-Wahid (الواحد)    The One, the All Inclusive, The Indivisible
68    As-Samad (الصمد)    The Self Sufficient, The Impregnable, The Eternally Besought of All, The Everlasting
69    Al-Qadir (القادر)    The All Able
70    Al-Muqtadir (المقتدر)    The All Determiner, The Dominant
71    Al-Muqaddim (المقدم)    The Expediter, He Who Brings Forward
72    Al-Mu'akhkhir (المؤخر)    The Delayer, He Who Puts Far Away
73    Al-Awwal (الأول)    The First
74    Al-Akhir (الأخر)    The Last
75    Az-Zahir (الظاهر)    The Manifest, The All Victorious
76    Al-Batin (الباطن)    The Hidden, The All Encompassing
77    Al-Wali (الوالي)    The Patron
78    Al-Muta'ali (المتعالي)    The Self Exalted
79    Al-Barr (البر)    The Most Kind and Righteous
80    At-Tawwab (التواب)    The Ever Returning, Ever Relenting
81    Al-Muntaqim (المنتقم)    The Avenger
82    Al-'Afuww (العفو)    The Pardoner, The Effacer of Sins
83    Ar-Ra'uf (الرؤوف)    The Compassionate, The All Pitying
84    Malik-al-Mulk (مالك الملك)    The Owner of All Sovereignty
85    Dhu-al-Jalal wa-al-Ikram (ذو الجلال و الإكرام)    The Lord of Majesty and Generosity
86    Al-Muqsit (المقسط)    The Equitable, The Requiter
87    Al-Jami' (الجامع)    The Gatherer, The Unifier
88    Al-Ghani (الغنى)    The All Rich, The Independent
89    Al-Mughni (المغنى)    The Enricher, The Emancipator
90    Al-Mani'(المانع)    The Withholder, The Shielder, the Defender
91    Ad-Darr (الضار)    The Distressor, The Harmer
92    An-Nafi' (النافع)    The Propitious, The Benefactor
93    An-Nur (النور)    The Light
94    Al-Hadi (الهادي)    The Guide
95    Al-Badi (البديع)    The Incomparable, The Originator
96    Al-Baqi (الباقي)    The Ever Enduring and Immutable
97    Al-Warith (الوارث)    The Heir, The Inheritor of All
98    Ar-Rashid (الرشيد)    The Guide, Infallible Teacher and Knower
99    As-Sabur (الصبور)    The Patient, The Timeless

+1 Unnameable, Undefinable


dont sell yourself short

i knew i posted this somewhere


bump

[Shit]

100    As-Hole (الهادي)    The Holy Gaurdian Asshole

[Cain]

Who am "I"?

The man who will save the dolphins?