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One Sentence Rants

Started by Cramulus, December 17, 2008, 08:24:05 PM

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Salty

Look, fuckface, you are about to find out just how wrong you are about my "good aura", I don't care if you cried like a baby during a Hungarian ballet version of Romeo and Juliet, just STFU and hand me the results of my bloodtest you are taking 15 thousand minutes to fold and shove in an envelope so you can flirt with me.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Alty on March 28, 2014, 05:53:37 AM
Look, fuckface, you are about to find out just how wrong you are about my "good aura", I don't care if you cried like a baby during a Hungarian ballet version of Romeo and Juliet, just STFU and hand me the results of my bloodtest you are taking 15 thousand minutes to fold and shove in an envelope so you can flirt with me.

I have a good aura.  It isn't visible, of course.  But if your nose works, you will occasionally witness it.  Especially if I've had the triple-bean special down at Juan's Botulism Shack.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

My aura is strongest on a Friday afternoon when I haven't had time to shower since Sunday.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Ben Shapiro


POFP

We aren't allowed to install software on our school computers because it could "threaten the integrity of the computer or computer system," BUT YOU HAVE THE NETBIOS PORT OPEN ON EVERY FUCKING COMPUTLER, AND YOU DISABLED THE COMMAND PROMPT WITHOUT DISABLING BATCH FILES, AND YOU HAVE THE LOWEST-RATED ANTIVIRUS PROGRAM INSTALLED ON ALL OF THESE COMLUTERS!? I guess computilater security isn't a prerequisite to an Information Technology degree...
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

minuspace

Listen you wanna-be hippie punks,  we wanted to go to your festival and were taken aback by how a self-described Eco-conscious event dedicated most of it's literature to laws of conduct and waste disposal protocols, and, for reasons completely unrelated, we will probably not be attending, although it makes us feel better not to be up against dealing with your fasciist bullshit, amen.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: LuciferX on May 23, 2014, 08:07:08 AM
Listen you wanna-be hippie punks,  we wanted to go to your festival and were taken aback by how a self-described Eco-conscious event dedicated most of it's literature to laws of conduct and waste disposal protocols, and, for reasons completely unrelated, we will probably not be attending, although it makes us feel better not to be up against dealing with your fasciist bullshit, amen.

wat
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Biologists need to stop fucking talking about evolution using war metaphors; there are no "risky evolutionary strategies" or "conflicting interests" in evolution, because THERE IS NO FORETHOUGHT.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


LMNO


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 23, 2014, 07:11:41 PM
Reminds me of this:



It's just that it's an entirely inappropriate metaphor. Exciting, but completely and utterly wrong and the absolute most backwards way of looking at it. The way evolution is usually talked about is along the lines of "they developed these adaptations, so they survived", but the correct way of viewing it is "the survivors all had these mutations, and that's how they adapted". This might sound really nitpicky, but the backward view really screws things up when you start talking about sexual reproduction and the adaptations that optimize fetal development in humans. They are written about as if there's an "arms race" (this exact term has been used over and over again) between male and female to maximize their own interests. This is not only not true, but it literally CANNOT BE TRUE unless we scrap everything we know about evolution and start from scratch with a completely different set of assumptions about what drives it. The "Arms race" perspective necessitates the assumption of intelligent design. The reality of fetal development is that the fetus which has the best checks and balances system is the one which is most likely to survive; it's not an arms race, but a finely-honed cooperative balance in which the system which produces a placenta that is maximized to absorb nutrients from the mother while restrained from taking too many nutrients is the system that will produce the most surviving offspring. Since "too much" varies from woman to woman, the optimal system is one in which the placenta grows as much as it can until the woman's body tells it to stop.

But that's not as exciting as depicting it as a DNA-level war of the sexes, and this is pervasive throughout the scientific literature.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


LMNO

I get you.  It's an easy narrative to fall into, and as such shouldn't be promoted by the literature.

trix

JESUS FUCK YOU DO NOT GIVE THE POLICE PERMISSION TO SEARCH YOUR VEHICLE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ILLEGAL SHIT UNDER THE GODDAMN SEAT (OR FUCKING EVER, PERIOD) YOU FUCKING MORON!!
There's good news tonight.  And bad news.  First, the bad news: there is no good news.  Now, the good news: you don't have to listen to the bad news.
Zen Without Zen Masters

Quote from: Cain
Gender is a social construct.  As society, we get to choose your gender.

minuspace

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2014, 03:41:10 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 23, 2014, 08:07:08 AM
Listen you wanna-be hippie punks...

wat

Had to miss some festivities because dog ICU - herniated diaphragm - all better now: shit's all in place, still, hope it mends well.

minuspace

Quote from: All-Father Nigel on May 23, 2014, 06:56:37 PM
Biologists need to stop fucking talking about evolution using war metaphors; there are no "risky evolutionary strategies" or "conflicting interests" in evolution, because THERE IS NO FORETHOUGHT.
Evolution is just a degenerate expression of entropy, obviating the teleology of dispersion :lulz:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: LuciferX on May 25, 2014, 02:08:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2014, 03:41:10 PM
Quote from: LuciferX on May 23, 2014, 08:07:08 AM
Listen you wanna-be hippie punks...

wat

Had to miss some festivities because dog ICU - herniated diaphragm - all better now: shit's all in place, still, hope it mends well.

Shit, hope your dog's OK!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."