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Messages - B_M_W

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1



Goofus refrains from marijuana, because it's the tool of The Machine. Galliant smokes marijuana but only when The Man isn't looking.

My mind is a pink sock.


2
Apple Talk / Re: ATTENTION, SPAGLORDS
« on: March 05, 2012, 03:31:17 pm »
Sooooo....did you get in her pants like you intended?

3
Apple Talk / Re: I Did It
« on: March 05, 2012, 03:29:36 pm »
I havenít got any excuse, really.  Itís just that itís so hard to not break the law.  Please donít get me wrongÖI agree that laws are necessary for society.  Itís just that thereís so many to keep track of.  I want to be a good citizen, really, I try. 

But when I look back on my day, there are so many things Iíve done.  Just coming here today, I exceeded the speed limit by 14%.  Also, my interior light doesnít function, which is a vehicle violation.  Then I lit a smoke, which meant that for a short period of time, I didnít have both of my hands on the wheel.  At one point, I did not come to a complete stop while making a right on red.  I knew that it was bad, even though there wasnít any traffic at all, at that time of the morning.

And that was just in the first 40 minutes from leaving the house.  I shudder to think what laws I broke between waking up and heading out.  So while I want to tell you that I am an innocent man, Iím obviously not.  Iím guilty.  Iím wrong

Thereís something wrong with me.  Everyone else must be able to follow all of these regulationsÖI mean, I know lots of people with no jail time on their records and perfectly clean driversí license violations.  So itís not like Iím trapped in some Kafka-esque nightmare or anything.  Itís that I canít behave.  I am unsuitable for public life, in this great country full of its law-abiding citizens.  Perhaps I should move somewhere else, before they lock me up for life.

But Iíd probably just break laws there, too.

Okay for now,
Dok

i once had homosexual relations in a state where it was illegal 30 years ago. It makes me feel dirty to the depths of my soul. Sure, it's not illegal NOW, but I'm guilty by association.

4
Apple Talk / Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« on: March 05, 2012, 03:14:24 pm »
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg/800px-Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg

See? Dey wuz do-mess-tik!

It's on jewelry, so it must be true!

http://rlv.zcache.com/jesus_christ_rides_an_awesome_dinosaur_necklace-p177487306932088038z8n8j_400.jpg

Yeah, if you're a FUCKING RETARD.

What is so hard about 65 million years of separation for these brain damaged zealots to understand? Oh right, BRAIN DAMAGE.

What I'd really like to see is them shoving these saddles so far up their asses they go back in time and get eaten by a feathered Velociraptor. And just at the moment their entrails are being ripped out, they will think, "Wait, dinosaurs didn't have feathers! This wasn't in the bible!" DAMN RIGHT IT WASN'T IN YOUR WASTE OF PULP SHIT STAINED WORSHIP ITEM. YOU GOT EATEN BY A JESUS HORSE, NOW THAT'S DIVINE COMEDY.

Of course, the shit stained waste of pulp has some comedy of it's own, aside from all the genocide that never happened. Take chapter 30 of Genesis, which has to be the most hilarious take on genetic crossing I have ever seen.

Quote
37 And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree; and pilled white streaks in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
38    And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
39    And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ring-streaked, speckled, and spotted.
40    And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ring-streaked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban; and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban's cattle.
41    And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods.

Only there do you find cattle crossed with spotted rods. WITH SPOTTED RODS. YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. I wonder if we could make all these fuckers conceive before gay men, and give the world more fabulous.

Shhh, the Bible is SCIENCE!!!

Yes, that's why Yahweh invented central plumbing, IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING BIBLE DON'T YOU SEE, IAMFULLOVSHIT 1:3.

5
Apple Talk / Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« on: March 05, 2012, 03:12:58 pm »
BMW: British Catholic bishop compares gay marriage to legalised slavery, and doubles down on the comparison when called on it.  Comments?

BREAKING: BMW COMPARES ORDAINED PRIESTS TO PEDOPHILES AND ADMITS IT'S REDUNDANT WHEN CALLED ON IT.

But really, you can't take the catholic church seriously anymore. No more inqusition, no more massive papal armies. They front that contraceptives are sinful and yet no USAdian catholic listens to that. No really, 98% use contraceptives, whether that be french ticklers, pills or anything in between. They're as ineffectual as the British royal family, and not nearly as funny.

Besides, they're right in a way. Priests are gay for their god, and their work is a sort of legalized slavery to the church. HA!

Change that headline to BREAKING: CATHOLIC PRIESTS GAY SEX SLAVES TO JEHOVAH, ENJOY S&M.

6
Apple Talk / Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« on: March 05, 2012, 02:59:42 pm »
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg/800px-Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg

See? Dey wuz do-mess-tik!

It's on jewelry, so it must be true!

http://rlv.zcache.com/jesus_christ_rides_an_awesome_dinosaur_necklace-p177487306932088038z8n8j_400.jpg

Yeah, if you're a FUCKING RETARD.

What is so hard about 65 million years of separation for these brain damaged zealots to understand? Oh right, BRAIN DAMAGE.

What I'd really like to see is them shoving these saddles so far up their asses they go back in time and get eaten by a feathered Velociraptor. And just at the moment their entrails are being ripped out, they will think, "Wait, dinosaurs didn't have feathers! This wasn't in the bible!" DAMN RIGHT IT WASN'T IN YOUR WASTE OF PULP SHIT STAINED WORSHIP ITEM. YOU GOT EATEN BY A JESUS HORSE, NOW THAT'S DIVINE COMEDY.

Of course, the shit stained waste of pulp has some comedy of it's own, aside from all the genocide that never happened. Take chapter 30 of Genesis, which has to be the most hilarious take on genetic crossing I have ever seen.

Quote
37 And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree; and pilled white streaks in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
38    And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
39    And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ring-streaked, speckled, and spotted.
40    And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ring-streaked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban; and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban's cattle.
41    And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods.

Only there do you find cattle crossed with spotted rods. WITH SPOTTED RODS. YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. I wonder if we could make all these fuckers conceive before gay men, and give the world more fabulous.

7
Literate Chaotic / Re: J.K Rowling is writing a new book.
« on: March 04, 2012, 09:04:34 pm »
I'm only excited if it means Elizier Yudowsky will start posting chapters of HPMoR again, to capitalize off the publicity.

And, I just feel this is necessary to point out, but unless you're a child, Rowling is not that great a writer.  Or, rather, we have nothing to judge Rowling's writing intended for adults by.  She seems a nice lady, and certainly patient when dealing with her insane fanbase, but her books are a hodgepodge of "you are the chosen one" fantasy, tween angst and utterly incompetent main characters.

I agree with this. Harry Potter is shit, but Yudowsky's fanfiction makes it incredible. That said, it makes a better moral document than any mainstream religious text.

8
Apple Talk / It has come to my ATTN.
« on: March 04, 2012, 08:43:23 pm »
It recently came to my attention that these FUCKING ASSHOLES which I railed against so long ago are still on my planet. Thus I have returned because my wrath is elongate, phaliform and flabellate, and it will not be quenched.


ITT: You supply me with items to fuel my ragemobile. I supply the rage.

9
Goofus thinks for himself. Galliant avoids thoughtcrime.

Goofus sees the universe as meaningful without gods. Galliant staves off psychopathy and despair with religion.

No. Nono.


Goofus refrains from marijuana, because it's the tool of The Machine. Galliant smokes marijuana but only when The Man isn't looking.

10
Or Kill Me / Re: RWHN: From the Depths vol. 5 #2
« on: April 16, 2008, 07:28:19 pm »
We believe strongly that creativity is the highest form of human expression.

I think that is similar to your "the spark", if not the same thing.

~Kaimi

11
Bring and Brag / Re: My drawings
« on: April 15, 2008, 01:39:03 pm »
Done!~ ^_^

http://yurito-sakari.deviantart.com/art/Enso-81833077

~Alana

this is neet
are those morning glories?
(i like morning glories... they look friendly[don't ask])

I don't know.....I think they were supposed to be leaves and they turned out more as flowers....:?

Everyone likes them though. ^_^

~Alana

12
Bring and Brag / Re: some of my stuff, when I was into ART
« on: April 15, 2008, 04:32:16 am »
I like all the plain portraits in ink. The subject matter in the rest feels too cliche for me to like it much.

Sorry.... :/

~Alana

13
Or Kill Me / Re: Here, my blue eyes
« on: April 15, 2008, 04:27:50 am »
God that burns hard as it goes down.


14
Or Kill Me / Re: The First Church of the Holy Lie
« on: April 13, 2008, 04:43:32 pm »
the problem with everybody being "honest" is that even honesty is a lie. for humans, the truth is way too easy to confuse with your opinion. when you're being "brutally honest," are you really telling an objective truth, or are you telling the truth as you see it? they're two different things. humans are naturally terrible at being objective, so of course we lie and manipulate. telling me to tell the truth all the time is telling me to put too much energy into people who aren't worth it.

At least you're being honest about your opinions then.

15
Or Kill Me / Re: The First Church of the Holy Lie
« on: April 12, 2008, 09:24:53 pm »
If nothing else, a sudden overwhelming surge of honesty would be a serious mindfuck for people who are so wrapped up in the Social Game that they can no longer distinguish themselves from it.

Yeah, that was my point, pretty much. People are so used to lying that honesty would throw them off the deep end.

Plus, I just like honesty.

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