OPEN BAR: NO CISNORMATIVE ELVEN PATRIARCHS ALLOWED

[Cain]

So, I just spent the last 3 hours dealing with a, in the words of the fire brigade officer I spoke to, "malicious act of vandalism".

Said act resulted in me having to rush into a series of clusters of flats, all of them full (as in, zero visibility) of chemically treated fire extinguisher dust, while evacuating students, then, after that, running around a building while shouting at the top of my voice.

As a consequence, my voice has a certain....gravelly quality at the moment.  In addition to that, I'm wheezing, coughing, suffering headaches and stomach pain.  I also missed out on all but 10 minutes of my break, meaning I worked a full overnight 12 hour shift and now I am "off duty", I am currently writing up a report to ensure that the little shit responsible for all this gets hit hard by the school discipline system (which, despite the many faults of this school, does seem to exist).

Student has 10 days of early curfew.  Put on suspension level warning...only not suspended because of half-term next week.

A bit weaksauce, if you ask me, but it is something, I guess.

[Doktor Howl]

For what it's worth, I told you bastards the Seahawks were doomed.

[Cain]

I forgot to mention - this building has mice.

I caught 2 the other week.  Not on the floor I live on, thankfully....but yeah.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For what it's worth, I told you bastards the Seahawks were doomed.

Ohh, I forgot about the Seattle Ocean Raptors.

The old man watched the game today, I assume he is at home now drunkenly weeping into his pillow because the sportsball.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am almost done with my stupid presentation but I still have to make a Powerpoint and record myself presenting it. Which I also have to do live on Wednesday.

[Demolition Squid]

A two hour unpleasant journey has turned into a three hour unbearable one because - for reasons unexplained- trains will no longer be used to cover the last 15 minutes. Buses will be used instead.

This is assuming I manage to navigate two unfamiliar train stations with 3 minutes to spare between changes to get me to my destination 1 hour late.

And I could not freaking sleep at all last night.

If I make it through the day without literally exploding I am going to count it as a win.

[Demolition Squid]

It was a landslide.

A fucking LANDSLIDE. In rural england.

It is the bloody landsquids I'm sure of it.

[xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)]

The other day two old women at McDonalds read top 10 list clickbait aloud from their phones to each other for like two hours straight.

[xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)]

It is the bloody landsquids I'm sure of it.

Its mating season. You know what those things get up to.

[Cain]

The other day two old women at McDonalds read top 10 list clickbait aloud from their phones to each other for like two hours straight.

How are you not in prison for murder?  What is your secret?

[xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)]

The other day two old women at McDonalds read top 10 list clickbait aloud from their phones to each other for like two hours straight.

How are you not in prison for murder?  What is your secret?

Headphones. And it was strangely endearing, they both sounded so interested in how many poodles X celebrity owns(You wont believe how many) and finding out who had the top 10 haircuts of the 80s.

[Payne]

I have decided to set my computer up on a table in my front room - rather than on the coffee table where I can't really comfortably use the keyboard or the mouse.

I hope that these boring and uninteresting changes in my until now undescribed furniture arrangements will boost my ability to actually focus long enough to both read and occasionally respond to a forum.

I fear it may just unlock (by eldritch patterns mis-serendipitously arranged by my inner warlock) the wrath of a thousand thousand daemons who have been bound beneath the very earth upon which my personal tin can has been placed.

As a man of science I believe the latter to be far more likely...

Place computer on floor.

Put shoe on head.

This is the only correct method.

That explains it. I forgot to put the fucking shoe on head.

[Doktor Howl]

In Phoenix.  In a pretty expensive hotel.

Toilet doesn't work.  It's been running non-stop since I flung holiness into it.

[Eater of Clowns]

In Phoenix.  In a pretty expensive hotel.

Toilet doesn't work.  It's been running non-stop since I flung holiness into it.

Sounds like the toilet's working fine. I can't think of anything that wouldn't run if you tried that on it.

[Doktor Howl]

In Phoenix.  In a pretty expensive hotel.

Toilet doesn't work.  It's been running non-stop since I flung holiness into it.

Sounds like the toilet's working fine. I can't think of anything that wouldn't run if you tried that on it.

Toilet is clearly designed for use by rabbits.