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Words in my head. MY HEAD!

Started by Payne, September 16, 2008, 01:55:58 PM

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Payne



When it's dark, turn a light on.
Like God in genesis, it's for you to do.
Pay no mind to the mirror on the wall,
Cold and vicious, dead as pterodactyl eyes.

When it's cold, put your coat on.
It's winter until you make it spring.
It's time for you to wake the fuck up,
"Harsh injustice" just another of your lies.

   And until you realise that it really was only you all along,
   The fear you felt has scared all other fears away,
   And working for nothing but a chance to work tomorrow,
   Is when you realise, is when you can say:

There is
No man,
No plan,
Just what you see through the bars of your cell
No pain,
No blame,
But that which you create yourself.

When you're put down, seize your freedom.
It's always yours, and never given.
Bastardised, your rights are trampled,
Have you no more to do than sigh?

   And now you look for answers, and find there are none,
   The books you've read have only given you more to say,
   When "rights" and wrong, and wrong can be right,
   Everyday is a fight, a message, an urge to say:

There is
No man,
No plan,
And the cell, too, is another lie
No pain,
No blame,
And no father in the sky.

Richter

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Payne

What I'd like is for people to edit this, make their own versions and post it.

My skill with words is not very developed, but there are some good ideas with what I did, I think.

I'd like to see what happens if people take this and mold it their own way, and we mash it all together at the end. I'd like to see how this little vision of the BIP, a personal concept, is changed by a load of individuals giving their own take on it.

Might not work, but meh, we shall see!

Cramulus

I dig it, especially the last stanza. The rhyming is inconsistent though - either make the whole thing rhyme, or none of it rhyme!

Did you make that graphic with the WRATH? It looks gimpish. =)


anywhoo, bravo!



Payne

Quote from: Cramulus on September 16, 2008, 07:06:21 PM
I dig it, especially the last stanza. The rhyming is inconsistent though - either make the whole thing rhyme, or none of it rhyme!

Did you make that graphic with the WRATH? It looks gimpish. =)


anywhoo, bravo!




It was a conscious decision to be inconsistent with the rhyming structure. I dunno if I have the ability to actually make that work though.

And yes, you fucker, I used MSPaint for the graphic. I only use the GIMP for making smileys or animations.

I will END you.

Cramulus

hah, I meant it as a compliment. Hard to get all that background scrubbed out cleanly without higher tech tools.

Incidentally, the type of cage you've depicted is all-too-appropriate. The way the guy is handcuffed is a common in China - the victim is restrained in a way where they can't lie down, but they can't stand up either. They're left restless, but confined. Uncomfortable, but unable to move. Perfect symbol for the Black Iron Prison.

para-quoth lord Omar:

Ye have locked yerselves in cages of FEAR
and yet you complain that you lack FREEDOM?!

Payne

Quote from: Cramulus on September 16, 2008, 07:13:43 PM
hah, I meant it as a compliment. Hard to get all that background scrubbed out cleanly without higher tech tools.

Incidentally, the type of cage you've depicted is all-too-appropriate. The way the guy is handcuffed is a common in China - the victim is restrained in a way where they can't lie down, but they can't stand up either. They're left restless, but confined. Uncomfortable, but unable to move. Perfect symbol for the Black Iron Prison.

para-quoth lord Omar:

Ye have locked yerselves in cages of FEAR
and yet you complain that you lack FREEDOM?!


I saw the pic ages ago, and saved it thinking it would be handy at some point. I think the guy in the cage is demonstrating or protesting or something.

I particularly like the "earth" floor I put in there.

Cainad (dec.)

HEY PAYNE

IS IT ALRIGHT IF I PUT THIS IN INTERMITTENS #5, AS IT IS, WITH THAT PICTURE, AND TITLED "Words in my head. MY HEAD!"?

...


OKAY, COOL! THANKS.

Payne

Well, I guess I can retroactively give my permission for you to use this.

Didn't you notice it was complete shite though?

You clearly have no taste Cainad...

Cainad (dec.)

Quote from: Payne on April 12, 2009, 11:52:10 AM
Well, I guess I can retroactively give my permission for you to use this.

Didn't you notice it was complete shite though?

You clearly have no taste Cainad...

I needed filler. Besides, I'm not that tasteless; I didn't use anything of my own, now did I? That would have ruined the whole thing.

Payne

Quote from: Cainad on April 12, 2009, 03:27:20 PM
I needed filler.

One day, I will end you Cainad.

I'll ram you with my third fist until you beg with mercy. And I won't use lube cause that would be rape.

Cainad (dec.)

I would say something like "Oh it's on, motherfucker," in this post, but that would qualify as acknowledging your threats as being somehow more significant than the queef of banana slugs fucking.