Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Payne on May 15, 2010, 10:13:21 PM

Title: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Payne on May 15, 2010, 10:13:21 PM
So, we are running the fourth iteration of DoD in a few weeks time in Edinburgh. Last year there was an obvious issue with the traditional "let's all just get drunk" faction and the progressive "we're a group of Discordians, lets do Discordian things" cult.

Aaaaaanyway, in discussion with Pixie last night she thought some form of distribution of memes and such in return for beer would perhaps work out. Like "You can only have a drink after you've said one of these bizarre statements to a random stranger".

I'm pretty short on such ideas though. The best I've come up with so far is "Excuse me sir, your duck appears to have fled". Which sucks.

The only thing I would say is seeing as we're going to be in a Scottish pub for at least a few of these things, please to avoid anything too controversial with regards to Religion, Politics or Scottish Football.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 15, 2010, 10:19:07 PM
"The world ends tomorrow, sir...Are you prepared for mighty Gozar's return?"

"Will these women all look as hot when they have radiation burns all over them?"

"I say, sir!  Didn't I serve with you in Barsoom?"

"Them are powerful big rats in the basement, man.  Powerful big."

"If you had a holodeck, would you ever go to work again, or just sit at home and have sex with a simulation of Lauren Bacall until you starved to death?"
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Payne on May 15, 2010, 10:28:30 PM
THAT'S the stuff!

Cheers Dok!
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Jasper on May 15, 2010, 10:33:46 PM
He gave me up.  He let me down.  He ran around, and, frankly, it hurt.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Payne on May 15, 2010, 10:34:47 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on May 15, 2010, 10:33:46 PM
He gave me up.  He let me down.  He ran around, and, frankly, it hurt.

DAMN HIM!
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Requia ☣ on May 15, 2010, 10:34:56 PM
That's just wrong sig.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on May 15, 2010, 11:47:10 PM
"God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the wilderness and I had to eat him."

"I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR!"

"Well they definitely look humanoid."
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: notathing on May 16, 2010, 03:08:35 AM
"excuse me good sir, but your nipples are showing."

"good thing we aren't water soluble."

"the scots are some of the most inbred people in the world lol"

"have you ever put a jar of peanut butter in the microwave for a few seconds-- you know, just to heat it up-- and then stuck your dick in it?  feels good man."

something about fucking an octopus

etc.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Roaring Biscuit! on May 16, 2010, 03:12:03 AM
"wow that colour really brings out your nipples"

x
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Jasper on May 16, 2010, 04:27:23 PM
There was this lady passing out milkshakes in her front lawn the other day.  They were so good.  Much better than others I've had.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Adios on May 16, 2010, 04:52:22 PM
Have you ever had a complete stranger walk up to you and just start a random conversation?

Did your mom cut your hair?

Did you see the corpse over in the pharmacy?

Buy me a drink and I'll tell you a story.

I used to be normal until they removed part of my brain.

I have a letter from the mental institution that says I am not crazy.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on May 16, 2010, 04:58:47 PM
Be honest: Do I look pretty?

Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Faust on May 16, 2010, 05:19:31 PM
ah agent Hassan, we have the weapons ready for delivery, did you bring the money?
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on May 16, 2010, 09:14:52 PM
:lulz:

the jokes about the scottish cant really be said by the english for fear of being chibbed and humped by rabid schemies.

Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Dysnomia on May 16, 2010, 09:25:18 PM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on May 15, 2010, 11:47:10 PM
"God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the wilderness and I had to eat him."


This just made me burst out laughing  :lol:
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on May 16, 2010, 09:34:35 PM
Quote from: Sparkley Pink Shit on May 16, 2010, 09:25:18 PM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on May 15, 2010, 11:47:10 PM
"God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the wilderness and I had to eat him."


This just made me burst out laughing  :lol:

That's good. I'm surprised atheists haven't run it into the ground, so to speak.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Dysnomia on May 16, 2010, 09:37:34 PM
they do like to do that.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on May 16, 2010, 10:44:36 PM
"You haven't seen a small tapeworm laying around have you?" "No? It's about this big, and that thick, white with a tinge of yellow, his name's Ralph." "No, ma'am this is no joke."

Also, for postergasming or handing out as a supplement to the above:

(http://imgur.com/KVG2b.jpg) (http://ifile.it/vi6czlx)

You guys do things in the metric system right?

ETA: You should write in "CALL (write in your local Peta phone number here)" at the bottom.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: LMNO on May 17, 2010, 02:06:51 PM
Sing the first three verses of the "My Horse Is Amazing" song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP_0dDjoW_o
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Cramulus on May 17, 2010, 02:13:37 PM
You're on reality TV, quick, say something cool!


You will win 100 pounds if you repeat what I'm saying right now to a stranger.





Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Roaring Biscuit! on May 17, 2010, 02:22:17 PM
maybe we could take a little inspiration from the solo dreamwalks cram?  Just create something surreal in the middle of the street?

Are there any really good 'uns that don't take too much organising?

x

edd
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Payne on May 17, 2010, 02:31:05 PM
These are awesome.

Keep 'em coming though. There are a lot of drinks to be earned.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Jasper on May 17, 2010, 04:42:38 PM
"Ducks' penises corkscrew.  Yeah.  Like that.  *gesture* "
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: -Kel- on May 17, 2010, 05:12:52 PM
Suggestions?

hmmm you shouldn't wear that sweater anymore, makes your neck look fat.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 17, 2010, 05:25:57 PM
I don't "earn" drinks. Alcohol is my god given right, damnit :argh!:
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Payne on May 17, 2010, 05:37:09 PM
Oh. Then you won't be pleased to hear how a trip to the Curry Hoose is "earned"...
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on May 17, 2010, 08:41:56 PM
In college, we used to give people random things like a bolt or a dried up marker.  They had to find someone, convince them they had a "vision" that this "random" person had to have whatever it was and get a nickel for it.  The reward was a shot for every nickel. 

You have to make sure they have no money when they leave though  :lulz:
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Triple Zero on May 18, 2010, 12:07:37 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on May 17, 2010, 02:13:37 PM
You're on reality TV, quick, say something cool!


You will win 100 pounds if you repeat what I'm saying right now to a stranger.

YOU WILL GAIN 100 POUNDS IF YOU EAT ALL THESE FISH AND CHIPS IN 15 MINUTES
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Triple Zero on May 18, 2010, 12:09:07 AM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 17, 2010, 05:25:57 PM
I don't "earn" drinks. Alcohol is my god given right, damnit :argh!:

How about

You get a beer if you tell that fat bastard over there to MÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜVE
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on May 18, 2010, 05:16:19 AM
"If I have seen further it is only by standing on the testicles of giants."
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Cramulus on May 18, 2010, 05:27:23 AM
This is part of a dream you're going to have tonight



Later today, look for an opportunity to meet your future self



The Government is watching God
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Triple Zero on May 18, 2010, 09:21:00 AM
   triplezero   one thing we should also bring to DoD is another bag of those memebomb slips btw, they're not brilliant mindfuckery but it was great how every pub slowly got covered in them as we sat there
   Payne   yes
   triplezero   small effort anyway
   Payne   salt shakers to toilet advertising boards to under tables to EVERYWHERE
   triplezero   oh! i had another awesome idea lately
   Payne   and we should prolly finally hit a bookstore, like Syn wants
   triplezero   stickers with "SELF DESTRUCT" on the toilet flush button/handle
   Payne   lol
   triplezero   and we could simply put the bit.ly/5bip23 link on the slips as well
   triplezero   along with a memebomb of course
   Payne   yes
   triplezero   in fact SELF DESTRUCT stickers could go on a lot of things like pedestrian traffic light buttons (do they have buttons in Edinburgh?)
   Payne   yes
   Payne   they do
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.) on May 18, 2010, 09:52:57 AM
Heh. Fun.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: LMNO on May 18, 2010, 01:04:41 PM
You should all learn the Lady Gaga dance routines from "Telephone", and break into them at inopportune times.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Jasper on May 19, 2010, 01:43:53 AM
Recently I discovered how fun it is to take a sharpie, go to a public toilet, unroll a foot or two of tissue, and write something on it then roll it back up. 

Somebody at my college was about to wipe their ass, and suddenly the toilet paper said OH SNAP.

But you guys can probably think of something more apt. :)
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Brotep on May 19, 2010, 02:20:01 AM
 :lulz: @ self-destruct and OH SNAP


"I wouldn't eat that if I were you."


"Take this. When the time comes, you will know what to do."


"Did you ever dream you woke up and not realize it, and you were already getting ready for your day when it hit you that none of this is real?"


"You're late. Listen, we have a lot to--damn! We're being watched. Quick, say something generic."
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: GIGGLES on May 19, 2010, 04:10:04 AM
HEY MAN, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING: IS IT OK HAVING A BIG PENIS? DO YOU THINK I CAN BE LIKE YOU?
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on May 19, 2010, 06:30:44 AM
I like these surreal dream suggestions.

"I once knew a guy who had a (insert article of clothing the person is wearing which is uncommon-looking) exactly like that." ... "His friend was a giraffe salesman, I know,  whose international lawyer had this thing for smashing clocks, but only when he was sleepwalking."
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: BadBeast on May 19, 2010, 08:40:37 AM
Quote from: LMNO on May 18, 2010, 01:04:41 PM
You should all learn the Lady Gaga dance routines from "Telephone", and break into them at inopportune times.

You mean there is actually an appropriate time for doing this?  That's quite disturbing.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Jose? on May 19, 2010, 11:05:07 AM
"Oh sorry, I didn't recognise you with your clothes on"
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Payne on May 19, 2010, 01:34:00 PM
Quote from: Jose? on May 19, 2010, 11:05:07 AM
"Oh sorry, I didn't recognise you with my clothes on"

Fixt.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: BadBeast on May 19, 2010, 01:45:21 PM
We are all lying in the gutter,
but some of us are looking at the kerb!

You don't sweat much, for a fat chick/lad do you?

And this one' s great, If you see a celebrity, (I used Ian McCulloch from Echo and the Bunnymen) who looks a little bit too "up themselves", and are obviously in need of a little grounding approach them for their autograph,like a gushy little fanboi, they will usually be happy to sign. then when they start to sign, you say, "Thanks Mate, yeah, could you make it out to,  *- - - - - *  please, that's right, from Julian,  . . . .McCulloch puts the pen down, and says "who the fuck do you think I am"? I smiled back, you're Julian Cope,  and he really did flounce off like a little prima donna, and screwed up the
piece of notepaper he'd been signing, and threw it across the Pub. I knew he didn't like Cope, and he certainly didn't like being mistaken for him. 
:fap:
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: LMNO on May 19, 2010, 02:13:23 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 19, 2010, 08:40:37 AM
Quote from: LMNO on May 18, 2010, 01:04:41 PM
You should all learn the Lady Gaga dance routines from "Telephone", and break into them at inopportune times.

You mean there is actually an appropriate time for doing this?  That's quite disturbing.


Your life needs more gayness.  Just saying.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Payne on May 19, 2010, 02:16:53 PM
Quote from: LMNO on May 19, 2010, 02:13:23 PM
Quote from: BadBeast on May 19, 2010, 08:40:37 AM
Quote from: LMNO on May 18, 2010, 01:04:41 PM
You should all learn the Lady Gaga dance routines from "Telephone", and break into them at inopportune times.

You mean there is actually an appropriate time for doing this?  That's quite disturbing.


Your life needs more gayness.  Just saying.

I'm currently trying to imagine P3nT doing this.

It hurts mah brain, Alphapance. It hurts it terrible.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: LMNO on May 19, 2010, 02:19:06 PM
My work here is done.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 20, 2010, 11:46:13 AM
This is back-asswards for me. You give me fuckton of beer and I'll do anything. That's how it works. You come between me and my beer and tell me I have to do some shit before I get my alcohol, it's going to get real fucking messy, real fucking quick!  :evilmad:
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: Triple Zero on May 20, 2010, 12:06:41 PM
ok ok ok

I know you're serious about this.

How about, you drink a beer, and then I give you another one.

Then you can ponder about whether you earned the second one because you drank the first, or that you drank a beer, and this caused you to drink another beer. And then you get us a round, and THEN the causality of things will really start becoming complicated.
Title: Re: Suggestions from you all please!
Post by: BadBeast on May 20, 2010, 12:10:20 PM
When I used to live in Weymouth, in the summer, Me and my mate, used to get pissed up, and fill our pockets up with change, walk along  lurch around on the Esplanade, taking it in turns, to pick a likely looking mark, then stagger towards him, and ask if he had 40p for a cup of tea. As soon as he said (and they nearly always did)  "Sorry Mate, I've got no money at all" We'd then proceed to give him 40p, saying, "Get yourself a cuppa, Mate, go on" then scoot off while they were still in shock. That was always good for a laugh. The Police would arrest people if they were begging, but they couldn't arrest us for giving money away.