I don't know who else ever needs to yell about their gaming, but here goes.
DEAR ASSASSIN'S CREED: BLACK FLAG.
SUCK A DOZEN DICKS. IF YOU PROVIDE THE OPTION TO USE NON-LETHAL MEANS TO DISPOSE OF OPPONENTS, DON'T HAVE A BUTTON WITH A TOOLTIP LABELLED "KNOCK OUT" IF SOMETIMES THAT BUTTON WILL, DEPENDING ON YOUR CHARACTER'S PROXIMITY TO SOMETHING INTERESTING LIKE A WALL OR A LONG FALL, CHANGE TO "KILL" AS SOON AS THE BUTTON IS PRESSED.
SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO PLAY NON-LETHAL PLAYTHROUGHS TO CHALLENGE THEMSELVES BECAUSE YOUR AI IS UNINTERESTING AND YOUR OPPONENTS SIMPLE TO THWART IN ANY NUMBER. THANKS FOR RUINING MINE A GOODLY PART OF THE WAY INTO THE GAME BY HAVING ME ACCIDENTALLY SNAP SOMEONE'S NECK THEN THROW THEM OFF A TOWER INSTEAD OF SIMPLY SLAPPING THEIR FACE.
ALSO, IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET ALL "LOLNO" TO MY PLAYSTYLE, I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T AUTOSAVE AFTER EVERY FEW KILLS, MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE TO STRIKE THAT "ENEMIES KILLED: 1" OFF MY STATS SHEET.
FUCK YOU.
:lulz:
I'd like to complain about Black Flag as well.
But I cannot. Literally. Because it runs so painfully slow on my laptop I've been completely put off playing it.
I could upload my test run with the mic I did earlier today, actually, with the Mass Effect 3 multiplayer. I need to adjust the mic/game volume for better clarity (which is why I was doing it), but I got put into a half hour long slugfest of a game, where I scored 4 times as much as the next player. It was pretty gruelling, to say the least.
Hey Risen 2! Don't make a mandatory minigame that requires a better computer than the rest of the game! I hate getting stuck on a drunk knifethrowing contest in a pirate bar.
Hey Torchlight II! If the only viable build for a class requires totally different stats than the ones you need to use the class-specific equipment, maybe all your Outlander shit shouldn't focus on Dexterity. Also, fuck ranged weapons. Seriously, who the hell on your design team thought it was a good idea to design them with a different required stat than the one that actually affects their damage output?
Fuck you, Candybox 2.
Fuck you, Civ V. How does a modern tank not kill the fuck out of a cavalry unit with one shot?
DEAR BETHESDA,
PSYCHIC GUARDS DON'T MAKE THE GAME FEEL DYNAMIC, THEY BREAK MY IMMERSION.
BACKGROUND: I AM A POWERFUL NECROMANCER, DISGUISED AS A HUMBLE MERCHANT. EVERY TIME I ROLL INTO A TOWN TO PEDDLE MY WARES, THE GUARDS GREET ME WITH "HAIL, SUMMONER" WHICH IS THE GAME'S WAY OF SAYING "I CARE ABOUT YOUR ROLEPLAY CHOICES".
I KEEP HAVING TO KILL GUARDS FOR KNOWING MY SECRET. SOMEONE IS GOING TO FIND THIS PILE OF GUARDS AND ACTUALLY HAVE LEGITIMATE CAUSE FOR BEING SUSPICIOUS OF ME.
Quote from: Pæs on March 26, 2014, 11:35:07 PM
DEAR BETHESDA,
PSYCHIC GUARDS DON'T MAKE THE GAME FEEL DYNAMIC, THEY BREAK MY IMMERSION.
BACKGROUND: I AM A POWERFUL NECROMANCER, DISGUISED AS A HUMBLE MERCHANT. EVERY TIME I ROLL INTO A TOWN TO PEDDLE MY WARES, THE GUARDS GREET ME WITH "HAIL, SUMMONER" WHICH IS THE GAME'S WAY OF SAYING "I CARE ABOUT YOUR ROLEPLAY CHOICES".
I KEEP HAVING TO KILL GUARDS FOR KNOWING MY SECRET. SOMEONE IS GOING TO FIND THIS PILE OF GUARDS AND ACTUALLY HAVE LEGITIMATE CAUSE FOR BEING SUSPICIOUS OF ME.
:lulz:
That old fart in Diablo, right?
"HAIL PALADIN!"
WTF? I'm just some guy in a suit of shitty armor and shortsword. For all YOU know, I run the thieves' guild.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 26, 2014, 11:36:43 PM
That old fart in Diablo, right?
"HAIL PALADIN!"
WTF? I'm just some guy in a suit of shitty armor and shortsword. For all YOU know, I run the thieves' guild.
It's classist as shit. I bet to him, all Paladins look alike.
Dear Square Enix,
please stop putting giant, badly rendered floating E's in light blue above things I need to steal in your Thief remake. It's not so much immersion ruining as cringe-worthy effects that should have been abandoned in 2004 with the advent of modern graphic processors.
I know I could turn this off, but it gives me extra points for doing so. It feels like cheating.
Hey Sims... Guess what? A pizza box on the floor should not block a hallway. In real life, I would simply step over it, not piss my pants attempting to decide how to maneuver around it.
Also, piss is not blue.
Quote from: Hoopla on March 27, 2014, 11:35:44 AM
Hey Sims... Guess what? A pizza box on the floor should not block a hallway. In real life, I would simply step over it, not piss my pants attempting to decide how to maneuver around it.
Also, piss is not blue.
:lulz:
DEAR "HOW LONG I CAN AVOID DOING LAUNDRY?"
YOU HAVE MADE ME A SOCIAL PARIAH YET AGAIN
DEAR "WHICH ONE OF THESE GLASSES HAS PEE IN IT"
YOU'VE RUINED ANOTHER PERFECTLY GOOD CRAVAT.
DEAR "BALL PIPE":
WHO AM I KIDDING, I STILL LOVE YOU
Quote from: Cramulus on March 27, 2014, 04:18:31 PM
DEAR "BALL PIPE":
WHO AM I KIDDING, I STILL LOVE YOU
:lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Cramulus on March 27, 2014, 04:18:31 PM
DEAR "BALL PIPE":
WHO AM I KIDDING, I STILL LOVE YOU
:lulz:
:lulz:
Quote from: Cramulus on March 27, 2014, 04:18:31 PM
DEAR "BALL PIPE":
WHO AM I KIDDING, I STILL LOVE YOU
:mittens:
Dear Dark Souls II:
WHERE DID THAT FUCKING ARROW COME FROM HOLY SHIT
DEAR SKYRIM,
IF I AM PLAYING "DEAD IS DEAD"/"IRONMAN" PLAYTHROUGH WHERE I DELETE THE CHARACTER IF I DIE, IT IS HILARIOUS BUMMER TO HAVE DRAGON IN STARTING CUTSCENE GLITCH OUT AND KILL ME BEFORE I GET CONTROL OF MY CHARACTER.
THX
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 26, 2014, 11:36:43 PM
That old fart in Diablo, right?
"HAIL PALADIN!"
WTF? I'm just some guy in a suit of shitty armor and shortsword. For all YOU know, I run the thieves' guild.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Diablo bless Warriv.
not a game but FUCK YOU, INTEGRATED RATE LAW CALCULATIONS. YOU FUCKING MAKE SENSE IN THE TUTORIAL BUT WHEN I FOLLOW ALL THE STEPS AND DO EVERYTHING PERFECTLY IN THE ACTUAL PROBLEMSET MY ANSWERS DON'T EVEN VAGUELY RESEMBLE WHAT THEY SHOULD I HATE YOU FUCK YOU IN THE FACE.
Quote from: Pæs on April 05, 2014, 10:03:59 PM
DEAR SKYRIM,
IF I AM PLAYING "DEAD IS DEAD"/"IRONMAN" PLAYTHROUGH WHERE I DELETE THE CHARACTER IF I DIE, IT IS HILARIOUS BUMMER TO HAVE DRAGON IN STARTING CUTSCENE GLITCH OUT AND KILL ME BEFORE I GET CONTROL OF MY CHARACTER.
THX
It's even worse when you jump through that tower die due to fall damage. I'm not sure which mod is causing that (I suspect Realistic Force and Ragdolls) or if it's a mix between the fall damage and uber-fire damage from Dragon Combat Overhaul/Deadly Dragons/Deadly Improved Shouts.
I mean, having a dragon kill you is badass. Falling out of a window while on fire is just lame.
Meanwhile, complaint.
DEAR BIOWERE (PLS),
When I spend 99,000 credits on an Arsenal Pack, I do not want to get Thermal Clips, a VI Targeting System, Explosive Ammo III, Cryo Ammo IV and Cryo Ammo IV. I just checked and I'm pretty sure I have tons of blacklisted weapons yet to unlock. I do not want the two most useless ammos in the game, a weapon boost bonus that relies entirely on my (in)ability to headshot and fucking thermal clips, which I use once in a blue moon anyway.
DEAR WARCRAFT 3 MAP MAKERS, IF YOUR CUSTOM MAP SCRIPT INTERRUPTS NORMAL GAMEPLAY AT RANDOM INTERVALS TO PLAY TERRIBLE MUSIC AND ZOOM IN ON THE BOSS STANDING THERE SCRATCHING HIS ASS YET AGAIN, TEST THE FUCKING SCENE AT LEAST ONCE SO I DON'T LOSE FOUR HOURS OF GRUELING HARDCORE GAMEPLAY (twice!) BECAUSE YOUR STUPID FANCY EFFECT THING GETS STUCK IN A LOOP AND NEVER ENDS!
Also, DEAR WURM ONLINE, A CHAIN LINK FENCE THAT DOESNT EVEN REACH MY KNEES SHOULD NOT STOP ME FROM CROSSING IT.
P.S... a rope fence should be easily cut by a knife in 5 seconds, rather than having to bash it with a large maul for two hours.
Quote from: trix on May 27, 2014, 05:34:58 AM
Also, DEAR WURM ONLINE, A CHAIN LINK FENCE THAT DOESNT EVEN REACH MY KNEES SHOULD NOT STOP ME FROM CROSSING IT.
This is one of my top peeves in games. I understand the reasoning, to look pretty but still prevent you from going that direction, but very annoying. Same with the invisible walls in the middle of what seems like a big open area.
Why do you hate me when all I want to do is Praise the Sun?
THE CAMERA ISN'T EVEN A REAL OBJECT IN THE CONTEXT OF THE GAME WORLD! IT SHOULD NOT BUMP AGAINST THE WALL WHEN I TRY TO ROTATE IT!
Dear Five Nights at Freddy's
WHHHHYYYYY!? Why do you hurt me so? I love you so much but every night you leave me a scarred and broken human being, so full of fear. This has got to be the most abusive relationship i have ever had with a game, where you make me admire your masterful use of tension and dread one minute and then haunt my dreams the next. I saw how my friend adam was with Dark Souls, and i thought that would never happen to me. But here i am, afraid to play you and afraid to not. How do you do this to me Freddy?