THE NIGEL AND CAINAD FRUIT APPRECIATION THREAD

[Jenne]

Plum preserves...mmmmmmmmmmm

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

FUCKING APPLES, COCKSUCKER!



YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, THESE CRISPY-ASS BITCHES WILL THROW DOWN AND OWN ALL OTHER FRUIT WITH THEIR AWESOME GENETIC DIVERSITY, PLUS THEY GROW EVERYFUCKINGWHERE

DO NOT FUCK WITH THESE HIGH-IN-DIETARY-FIBER MOTHERFUCKERS BECAUSE IF YOU EAT ENOUGH OF THEM THEY WILL GIVE YOU A FULL RDA OF VITAMIN C AND THE SHITS

YOU CAN MAKE PIE WITH THESE NINJA FRUITS, OR APPLESAUCE, OR APPLE BUTTER, OR CIDER, OR BRANDY, OR FRUIT LEATHER... FUCK, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN'T MAKE WITH 'EM???

CRUNCH INTO ONE AND LET THE SWEET-TART CRISPINESS FILL YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH HAVE YOU EVER EATEN ANYTHING SO QUINTESSENTIALLY WHOLESOME? NO YOU HAVE FUCKING NOT. THESE FRUITS ARE STRAIGHT FROM GOD'S MOTHERFUCKING CRADLE OF HUMANITY, D/N/T.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

CRAMULUS GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, IT'S TIME TO REPRESENT AND I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT FOR, YOU PULP-SHITTING STICK-FIGHTING FLAXEN-HAIRED SON OF A BASTARD.

[Doktor Howl]

I ATE A FEW OUNCES OF HONEYDEW MELON YESTERDAY.

DOES THAT COUNT?

[Cramulus]

HOLY FUCK WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING? DO YOU HAVE RENAL DAMAGE OF THE BRAIN OR SOMETHING???

FRUIT IS NOT GOOD, IN FACT IT'S BAD

FRUIT WILL MAKE YOU SHIT 8 TIMES A DAY IN THE COLOR OF THE FRUIT YOU'VE BEEN EATING

WHILE NORMALLY THIS WOULD BE COOL, IT IS ACTUALLY PAINFUL AND AWFUL

BY PROMOTING FRUIT, YOU ARE ENCOURAGING THE YOUTH TO FUCK UP THEIR RENAL SYSTEMS. THIS ISN'T CHRISTMAS OR SOME SHIT, IT'S NOT TIME FOR RENAL MADNESS.

HAVE YOU EVER MADE LOVE TO A FRUIT? IT'S DISAPPOINTING. AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN YOUR FRUIT OFF, THEY RARELY RECIPROCATE. TRY EXPLAINING THAT ONE TO YOUR FISTS AS THEY HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

WHAT THE FUCK, CRAMULUS

WHY AREN'T YOU TELLING US ABOUT THE GLORY AND WONDER OF ORANGES?




IN GREAT DETAIL?

[Cramulus]

BLALALLALALLALHHHHGH

^
DID YOU READ THAT?

I DIDN'T TYPE THAT, MY VOMIT DID

[Bruno]

MOTHERFUCKING TOMATOES, CUNTFACE!!!!




THAT'S RIGHT! TOMATOES ARE FUCKING FRUIT! IF YOU CAN MAKE A FUCKING PIE OUT OF IT, THEN IT IS A FRUIT! EVER HEARD OF PIZZA?

TOMATOES ARE IN THE DEADLY NIGHTSHADE FAMILY, ALSO, THEY HAVE A LOT OF ITALIAN FRIENDS!  TOMATOES HAVE MOTHERFUCKING CONNECTIONS AND THEY WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP FOR CALLING A TOMATO A VEGETABLE!

COMBINE THIS WITH THE TOMATO'S HIGH LEVELS OF VITAMIN A, C, AND LYCOPENE, ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL ANTIOXIDANTS KNOWN TO MAN, AND YOU HAVE AN OFFER YOU CAN NOT REFUSE!

WHAT'S THAT? YOU DON'T LIKE TOMATOES?

ENJOY YOUR CANCER MOTHERFUCKER!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I ATE A FEW OUNCES OF HONEYDEW MELON YESTERDAY.

DOES THAT COUNT?

WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING ODE TO MELON???

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

the Stilton was a happy deal, in the supermarket they discount 35% if it's on the "best before" date ... but really what's blue cheese going to do, get extra mouldy?

and for Suu... well the entire point of the toast sandwich was the Stilton of course. BUT!! Maybe you're not allergic to goat cheese? Cause in that case I have another awesome recipe which has the blueberry jam, soft goat cheese, walnuts and fresh spinach leaves (inna baguette, I had it, but anything works). Which is also great. And if you're allergic to walnuts, they are optional-ish. But a bit of strong tasting cheese isn't.

mmm must try the goats cheese version, without the walnuts.

I ATE A FEW OUNCES OF HONEYDEW MELON YESTERDAY.

DOES THAT COUNT?

WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING ODE TO MELON???

melons hate me, bastards make my face swell

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

HOLY FUCKING SHITCOCKS!!! AM I MISSING A THREAD ABOUT FUCKING FRUIT APPRECIATION? DID I JUST FUCKING SPELL THAT WRONG?!? I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW!

LET ME TELL YOU TUBESHITS ABOUT MOTHERFUCKING STAR FRUIT!

THAT'S RIGHT YOU FUCKBUCKETS! STAR FUIT. FUCKING FRUIT, SHAPED LIKE A GOD DAMNED STAR. WHAT JIZZPUMPING ALIEN PLANET DID THESE BITCHES COME FROM ANYWAY.
SMELL EM! SMELL THAT? YEAH MOTHERFUCKER, THEY TASTE JUST THAT GOOD! AS GOOD AS THEY SMELL!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

[Doktor Howl]

I am currently eating a bowl of steamed vegetables.

Does that qualify?

[Cramulus]

[Doktor Howl]

I can't see that, but judging from the URL, I imagine that it is a less than properly respectful picture of myself.  I'm a DOKTOR, for chrissakes, and should be held in reverence, not kicked around photoshop like some day laborer! 



(ho ho ho!)

[Freeky]

I can't see that, but judging from the URL, I imagine that it is a less than properly respectful picture of myself.  I'm a DOKTOR, for chrissakes, and should be held in reverence, not kicked around photoshop like some day laborer! 



(ho ho ho!)

It's "My head is a broccoli, your argument is invalid."