Introductions, part V: Don't Say We Never Warned You.

[Guide]

Hello peoples

I never laugh during sex. The shaking makes the nitroglycerine go off too early

I can't help it, which is why I stick to more stable party favors.

We shall not discuss Roger's idea of party favors.  The ones he sent me made my boyfriend go all gray in the face.   

What?  I was toning it down for him, on account of his heart condition.

It was either the drill bit, or the thought of having another teenage daughter inflicted upon him.  Not quite sure.

He's not really...SERIOUS about having a good time, then?

You haven't met his daughter.  She's her mother, in miniature, a comparison which would cause the little darling to have a seizure on the spot.

Make comparison, webcam it.  Post on PD.

*climbs up the quote steps*

[Cain]

You're only going to have to climb down again.

[Guide]

You're only going to have to climb down again.

*walks off of them* They're quotes, they don't have a height.   

[Cain]

Yes, you would think that, wouldn't you...

[Cainad (dec.)]

Yes, you would think that, wouldn't you...

Everyone falls for it the first time.

[Aidian]

In the pursuit of Eris, I packed up in a van and wandered down the road to New Orleans a couple years ago. "AHA!" says the brain, I'll surely find enlightenment by taking myself out of my element and shipping myself via van to Crazytown.

A few muggings, too many bottles, and some really interesting musical numbers later, I think I've gotten the joke. Cranial scars really serve to drive the punchline home and, goddess help me, it's fucking hilarious.

I've been lurking around here a bit, and it amuses me. I'd go so far as to call some of the posts inspirational, though it's more the creative use of language in rambles and/or rants making me run and scribble silly things on napkins that suckered me in.

And, y'know, the use of the word spag, which doesn't seem to ever make me stop giggling.

So hello, and all that. I'm going back into the archives.

[LMNO]

You still in NOLA?


I love that place.


Also: Welcome, spag!

[Aidian]

Yep. Playing the ubiquitous bartending game and wondering how long, precisely, I'll get away with it before people realize they're throwing money at me of their own volition to be a snarky jackass. It's the life, at least as compared with most other things I've dabbled in.

[LMNO]

Which bars do you tend to snark at?

[Aidian]

This has all the hallmarks of an afterschool special on internet predators. You're a goddamned bear, or some sort of vole, aren't you?

I tend towards the Marigny/Bywater, what with cheap housing and an easy commute being a good combination. The SWAT teams raiding crack houses make a great free alarm clock, too.

[Cain]

He is the internet's largest* Bearforce1 fan.

*In every sense of the word.

[Aidian]

Why do I always have to look?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In the pursuit of Eris, I packed up in a van and wandered down the road to New Orleans a couple years ago. "AHA!" says the brain, I'll surely find enlightenment by taking myself out of my element and shipping myself via van to Crazytown.

NOLA isn't Crazytown.  It's "get stabbed" town.  It's "party like it's 1945 town".  It's many things, but there is nothing crazy about NOLA.  Mean and violent, you're never safe, that's for sure...But not crazy.

For Crazy, you need Tucson, Providence, or Portland, depending on what kind of Crazy you're after.

Also, stop chasing Eris.  One day she'll slow down and let you catch her.  Then you're FUCKED.  That vicious old hag will have your guts for garters.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This has all the hallmarks of an afterschool special on internet predators.

Oh boy.

The triumpant return of NegativeNinja666.

[LMNO]

Yes to all the above.

Anyway, when I'm in town I rarely go past Frenchman street.  I know, but I am a tourist.

I tend to hang at Good Friends, Bourbon Pub, Molly's, what used to be the Matador, and Decatur St in general.

Anyway, you don't want to talk about it, no harm done.