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Ask me anything about fending off wild animals.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 19, 2003, 11:11:36 PM

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bob

#240
August 08, 2005, 03:46:31 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Mad Mod MedeoRoger:

My sister brought home Cthulhu one day and my parents are letting her keep It as a pet. Cthulhu now resides in my closet and stares at me at night. Help.

I suggest you duct tape an elder sign to each hand, and then swat him vigorously.

That's always worked for me.

On the other hand, you COULD always have "Bob" come over and deal with it...but this usually leads to "Bob" getting all hot and bothered, and the mess just isn't worth it.

i would be happy to help, nonetheless  :)
chop wood, carry water

Bob the Mediocre

#241
August 08, 2005, 07:46:24 PM
I'm being chased by a Roman Centurion, I'm not sure how undead he is, but he's got quite a few extra holes. I tried to duct tape razor sharp axes to my hands, but only succeeded in chopping off some fingers. The duct tape is keeping me from bleeding too bad though. Should I attempt to chop his head off with the axe I didn't drop on my foot (after the unexpected pain from my fingers) or try to improvise another weapon?

Thank you.
"we are building a religion
we are making a brand
we're the only ones to turn to when your castles turn to sand
take a bite of this apple
mister corporate events
take a walk through the jungle
of cardboard shanties and tents
some people drink pepsi
some people drink coke
the wacky morning dj says democracy's a joke
he says now do you believe in the one big song
he is now accepting callers who would like to sing along"

I AM A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING IDIOT!

The Good Reverend Roger

#242
August 09, 2005, 12:58:57 AM
Quote from: Altoid AddictI'm being chased by a Roman Centurion, I'm not sure how undead he is, but he's got quite a few extra holes. I tried to duct tape razor sharp axes to my hands, but only succeeded in chopping off some fingers. The duct tape is keeping me from bleeding too bad though. Should I attempt to chop his head off with the axe I didn't drop on my foot (after the unexpected pain from my fingers) or try to improvise another weapon?

Thank you.

A Roman Centurion is not a "wild animal", even when undead.

I suggest you speak to Turd about this one.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Shibboleet The Annihilator

#243
August 09, 2005, 07:13:21 AM
Ok Rog, scrid vs. 357.

Which one

FTW?

Cain

#244
February 22, 2007, 03:10:22 AM
Scrid, obviously.

The Good Reverend Roger

#245
February 22, 2007, 06:45:37 AM
Quote from: Safety Dance on August 09, 2005, 07:13:21 AM
Ok Rog, scrid vs. 357.

Which one

FTW?

Is Ditka holding the gun?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#246
February 22, 2007, 01:05:48 PM
What if the scrid's name was Chuck Norris?

Discord

#247
February 22, 2007, 02:14:32 PM
punked

The Good Reverend Roger

#248
February 22, 2007, 03:52:30 PM
Quote from: LMNO on February 22, 2007, 01:05:48 PM
What if the scrid's name was Chuck Norris?



Probably look something like this:

http://www.comcast.net/news/science/index.jsp?cat=SCIENCE&fn=/2007/02/22/593163.html&cvqh=itn_squid

Chuck Norris roundhouse tentacle to the face.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

theCalmpsychopath

#249
February 23, 2007, 07:24:38 PM
damn, the chimps are getting smarter. i think we should start a chimp genocide program.

also i saw a tree kill a skunk yesterday. i don't know if the tree can move, but i could use some advice just in case.
the human brain is like a grizzly bear with a midget on the back trying to control it

The Good Reverend Roger

#250
February 23, 2007, 07:29:31 PM
Quote from: theCalmpsychopath on February 23, 2007, 07:24:38 PM
damn, the chimps are getting smarter. i think we should start a chimp genocide program.

also i saw a tree kill a skunk yesterday. i don't know if the tree can move, but i could use some advice just in case.

Duct tape a chainsaw to each hand.  Trees only respect demostrations of brute power.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

theCalmpsychopath

#251
February 23, 2007, 10:35:41 PM
if the chainsaws are duct tapped to my hands, how am i supposed to refuel them?
the human brain is like a grizzly bear with a midget on the back trying to control it

Sir Comrade Kenan

#252
February 23, 2007, 11:32:55 PM
Obvious, dude. Super glue gas tanks to them. When and if those run out, you're probably boned because a tree with the size and strength to battle TWO chainsaws for that long is greater than most humans can handle without napalm. You can make napalm with the gas and some frozen orange juice.

Or just call in the immigrant laborers to take it down. Those guys are insane.


Well, I just said it so FUCKING LISTEN OR ILL KEEP SHOUTING UNTIL YOUR BRAINS BECOME FLUID AND POUR OUT YOUR EARS.

Sir Comrade Kenan

#253
February 23, 2007, 11:33:37 PM
Whats the best strategy for fighting bears? I plan to do a lot of this in college.
Well, I just said it so FUCKING LISTEN OR ILL KEEP SHOUTING UNTIL YOUR BRAINS BECOME FLUID AND POUR OUT YOUR EARS.

theCalmpsychopath

#254
February 24, 2007, 12:31:08 AM
the human brain is like a grizzly bear with a midget on the back trying to control it
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