Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[Ben Shapiro]

I'll be in Austin until Tuesday. 

Everyone be cool.


The napalm is under the sink.

Grab some za from Homeslice.

[Suu]

My sister is cosplaying at Tampa Bay Comic Con next week. This makes me think about warning my parents to have bail money at the ready, because I pity any pervert that is going to attempt to bother her.

[minuspace]

My sister is cosplaying at Tampa Bay Comic Con next week. This makes me think about warning my parents to have bail money at the ready, because I pity any pervert that is going to attempt to bother her.

I like you, so the one thing that pisses me off is how bondsman gets to keep that.

Note to self:  Fire-up Project Bail Dominion (NFP)

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I got a free ikea sofa with 2 covers today.



And then I found out from her current human that Eris, the stray who showed me her bum in 2005 and got bundled up and taken home, had feline leukemia and had to be euthanised. She lived with most of my family and Payne, but she always had a bipedal can opener who loved her and treated her well, and that's all a cat really needs. She was approximately 9 years old and semi feral.

I have a weird feeling of happy from finally making progress on the lounge and having somewhere to sit that actually deserves to be called thus. (it's starting to look like adults live here, finally!) and grief about Eris Missymoo, Princess Stinkybum. 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I got a free ikea sofa with 2 covers today.



And then I found out from her current human that Eris, the stray who showed me her bum in 2005 and got bundled up and taken home, had feline leukemia and had to be euthanised. She lived with most of my family and Payne, but she always had a bipedal can opener who loved her and treated her well, and that's all a cat really needs. She was approximately 9 years old and semi feral.

I have a weird feeling of happy from finally making progress on the lounge and having somewhere to sit that actually deserves to be called thus. (it's starting to look like adults live here, finally!) and grief about Eris Missymoo, Princess Stinkybum. 

Congrats on IKEA couch. And I'm sorry for your loss.

[Luna]

Spent yesterday starting to haul shit out of my apartment and into a storage unit.  LunaBF and Richter are officially awesome, and the spawn of LunaBF managed (with some difficulty) to avoid being locked into said storage unit and left to rot.  (I STILL say that if we'd just tied one into each futon mattress, it would have muffled the noise for long enough.)

I hurt, today.  Getting out of bed was an adventure.

Getting old is NOT for sissies.

[Suu]

Spent yesterday starting to haul shit out of my apartment and into a storage unit.  LunaBF and Richter are officially awesome, and the spawn of LunaBF managed (with some difficulty) to avoid being locked into said storage unit and left to rot.  (I STILL say that if we'd just tied one into each futon mattress, it would have muffled the noise for long enough.)

I hurt, today.  Getting out of bed was an adventure.

Getting old is NOT for sissies.

Mr. Suu saw the camp map today for war, "Who is Daywalker?"

So after a moment of explanation, his response was, "Oh. Little shits like that who give us awesomely nice ginger kids a bad rep. I see. Sounds like a target rich environment."

We do have carpets we can roll him in for transport back to his mother if necessary.

[Bu🤠ns]

Spent yesterday setting up a bunkbed for the minion.  The other minion got a regular bed frame. Maybe now she'll finally stay in bed and go-the-fuck-to-sleep.

[Cain]

My think tank is submitting a report to Parliament, to do with our fancy defence strategy overhaul.

Hopefully, this means my name will be on something that gets given to MPs, which will help me find employment where I'm not stacking shelves and working tills, or writing for peanuts.

[minuspace]

My think tank is submitting a report to Parliament, to do with our fancy defence strategy overhaul.

Hopefully, this means my name will be on something that gets given to MPs, which will help me find employment where I'm not stacking shelves and working tills, or writing for peanuts.

Please tell me the report was not entirely congratulatory of their new wardrobe.

[Cain]

Oh no, nothing like that.  Though they probably do approve...the outfit straddles the line between neoliberal and neocon, but that's the only game in town these days.  I don't alter my writing for them, but my positions may be far more nuanced and come with more caveats than they realise.

Anyway, this is to do with defence procurement and overall strategy for the next decade.  I've yet to look over the details themselves in full depth, because it's a couple of hundred pages long, but it looks like the team are going to write an assessment of it and present it to some subcommittee or another.

[Raz Tech]

Wife was supposed to be gone from this morning until Tuesday to hang out with her friends .  At some point this changed, and she neglected to make me aware of it.  I was upstairs when she got home, and was alerted to her presence by a blood-curdling scream of RAZ! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN!?  After a little bout of telling her it's okay, I put towels down, it became apparent that this was a losing battle.  In her words, "I was only gone for six hours and you turned my kitchen into a fucking AutoZone!" So apparently I'm not allowed to rebuild transmissions in the kitchen anymore (not that I ever was), and as penance I have to clean the kitchen every day this week regardless of who cooks dinner.  I also have to clean my garage so I can do things out there.

I told her that coming home to me rebuilding a transmission in the kitchen should be preferable to coming home to me rebuilding another womans vagina in the kitchen.  This too was apparently the incorrect argument to make.

I still haven't figured out why or how she puts up with me.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Wife was supposed to be gone from this morning until Tuesday to hang out with her friends .  At some point this changed, and she neglected to make me aware of it.  I was upstairs when she got home, and was alerted to her presence by a blood-curdling scream of RAZ! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN!?  After a little bout of telling her it's okay, I put towels down, it became apparent that this was a losing battle.  In her words, "I was only gone for six hours and you turned my kitchen into a fucking AutoZone!" So apparently I'm not allowed to rebuild transmissions in the kitchen anymore (not that I ever was), and as penance I have to clean the kitchen every day this week regardless of who cooks dinner.  I also have to clean my garage so I can do things out there.

I told her that coming home to me rebuilding a transmission in the kitchen should be preferable to coming home to me rebuilding another womans vagina in the kitchen.  This too was apparently the incorrect argument to make.

I still haven't figured out why or how she puts up with me.

You are like Super Dave Osborne. 

[minuspace]

Oh no, nothing like that.  Though they probably do approve...the outfit straddles the line between neoliberal and neocon, but that's the only game in town these days.  I don't alter my writing for them, but my positions may be far more nuanced and come with more caveats than they realise.

Anyway, this is to do with defence procurement and overall strategy for the next decade.  I've yet to look over the details themselves in full depth, because it's a couple of hundred pages long, but it looks like the team are going to write an assessment of it and present it to some subcommittee or another.

So yea, I'd hypothetically indulge the need to confirm their security concerns because proximity then enhances the persuasive power of subtlety.  Kudos.

[Salty]

After empirical observation I conclude I am cursed

OR

I joined the Wrong Religion.

I hope it's the latter, then all you bastards are in the same boat.

That's what community is all about.