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OPEN BAR: Top 10 things millenials hate about OB that we didn't know last week!

Started by Doktor Howl, April 23, 2015, 04:00:29 AM

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Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

So, this idea I had last night.

This warp drive they've been fucking with since 1962 may actually work, and may work SOON. I think it goes without saying that the civilized species of the galaxy are at this point gibbering things like "OMG OMG THE PRIMATES HAVE FIGURED OUT DOOR KNOBS", because - let's face it - we aren't exactly good neighbor material.

Now, assuming that they are above genocide (which will be readily apparent, based on whether or not a big rock hits the Earth shortly after the first test), we're gonna waltz out into the universe with our monkey urge to dominate and our monkey arachnid response. Hilarity ensues.

In fact, even if this drive has issues or doesn't work, the bug has bitten, and now it's a race between "drowning in our own shit" and "getting out there to habitable planets" (because, let's face it, Mars does not qualify unless you're a mole).

In either case, we are most likely going to run into the neighbors, in which case there are 3 potential scenarios:

1. We out-tech them. They get the Pocahontas treatment.
2. We are even in tech, commence interstellar world war I.
3. We sail our canoe into New York Harbor. Oh dear.

In every event, someone's getting fucked. Probably lots of someones. In addition, you can bet that any USA effort is gonna have a high percentage of born-agains along for the ride, because the military will be running the show, crew-wise, which is in itself gonna be a barrel of laughs.

Just think of it. Star Trek meets Honey Boo Boo. It's gonna be a CLASSIC.
Molon Lube

Dubya

Or the ETs remain stubbornly out of reach, and turn our ensuing new age of colonialism into their version of reality TV.
Or they don't hit us with a big rock, but instead unleash the Andromeda Strain on us or something similarly retarding.
Or we get out there and all the ETs are already dead and/or gone.
Or they get preemptively Lovecraftian on our asses and send Nyarlathotep here as their ambassador.
"Gold Medalist of the 2015 David Cameron Memorial Barnyard Olympics."

Reginald Ret

We are going to be pets in a zoo.

In the preferable non-genocidal version, I intend to terraform Mars in whatever way possible. This is going to be a planetary industrial project so I could use someone like you.

No... wait. I'm going to need Junkenstein for this. I have big plans, but, sadly, most won't be very good for Mars' natural features.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Dubya

 Also, why is it that when I imagine people testing warp drives, I flash on all those old movie clips of rockets
exploding on their launch pads back in the 50s?

I mean, its not like punching holes in spacetime could have ill effects, right?
"Gold Medalist of the 2015 David Cameron Memorial Barnyard Olympics."

Cain

Well, I got an interview for the job I applied late to, so that is something.

I wont be surprised if yesterday's school doesn't call me back, however...I wrote pretty much the entire application in a haze...it was my day to switch back to a daytime schedule, and the deadline was 5pm, so I couldn't put it off.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 13, 2015, 03:40:45 AM
Not bitching or anything, but damn, this place is dead when Nigel's not around.

Awww

:kiss:

I'm not gone for long. Three weeks to the end of the term!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 14, 2015, 01:02:59 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 14, 2015, 12:54:54 AM
I am a patient boy.

I wait, I wait, I wait.

Let's just say that HR came into some interesting documentation concerning the current goings on at work.  I think I saved Ed from being unjustly fired.

Lillie gets back in town tomorrow, alongside her boss and an army of HR.  Interesting times.

OMG

I am essentially rubbing my hands together in delight right now.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 14, 2015, 08:37:26 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 14, 2015, 08:11:59 PM
Apocalypse inexplicably delayed.

It seems that Lillie is running late, the bosses found somewhere else to be, and - I shit you not - half the HR department has gone home sick.

I should have thought of this YEARS ago.   :lulz:

You better watch yourself, you're in danger of getting another promotion.

This is unfortunately probably very accurate.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on May 15, 2015, 05:36:09 PM
My uncle is comatose in the hospital right now, following a heart attack. Outlook is not good.

I may be kind of a downer for a while.

I'm sorry. :(
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


POFP

Quote from: Cain on May 15, 2015, 09:48:15 PM
Well, I got an interview for the job I applied late to, so that is something.

I wont be surprised if yesterday's school doesn't call me back, however...I wrote pretty much the entire application in a haze...it was my day to switch back to a daytime schedule, and the deadline was 5pm, so I couldn't put it off.

I've done some weird shit for papers on sleepless hazes (I assume you meant you stayed up for the day to get back on sleep schedule.).

I get funny when I'm tired. Official documents and papers get a certain sense of humor. I turn into one of those real Discordians.  :lol:

My AP US History test was beautiful  :evil:

Did you think to make a copy of your application so you could make sure you didn't make any references to King Kong's sacrifice? Or is that why you wouldn't be surprised if you didn't get hired, because you did read the copy?  :eek:



On an entirely separate note:

I work at a locally owned and operated movie theater, temporarily, to save up for a car. This movie theater is in the Republican Capital of Ohio (Lebanon (Or "Leb'nin," as the natives call it)). You'd think the Republican Capital would have a population that is less likely to be entitled douche-fucks, considering their stance on ENTITLEMENT programs and ENTITLEMENT spending. But no. A 5 dollar movie theater is apparently too expensive to not give out free cups. And if they look on Fandango or MovieTickets.com and they see us showing a movie at 12 o'clock at night, they think they are ENTITLED to a free movie when we tell them we aren't. The problem is, we have no affiliation with those websites. Those places cost money to give our times to. What they do, is they, without our permission, post mostly correct movie showtimes for our theater, and sometimes even sell "tickets" for our movie theater so that we get customers who think we have no idea what we're talking about when we say "We don't have that movie because it doesn't come out for another week, and we aren't even open until midnight..." It's a bullying tactic, and we can't do anything about it. We've tried everything we could think of.
This Certified Popeā„¢ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

MMIX

Quote from: Hoopla on May 06, 2015, 09:20:27 PM

In other news, Joss Whedon is a sexist pig and piece of shit:

https://imgur.com/a/il1rT

Yes, we've reached the point where self-described feminist creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is sexist.


Dunno if you're actually interested in the background but I came across this today which gives a much more nuanced view of where some of this shit is coming from.
http://laureljupiter.tumblr.com/post/118320729761/laureljupiter-im-looking-at-screenshots-of-this
"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: MMIX on May 16, 2015, 11:35:48 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on May 06, 2015, 09:20:27 PM

In other news, Joss Whedon is a sexist pig and piece of shit:

https://imgur.com/a/il1rT

Yes, we've reached the point where self-described feminist creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is sexist.


Dunno if you're actually interested in the background but I came across this today which gives a much more nuanced view of where some of this shit is coming from.
http://laureljupiter.tumblr.com/post/118320729761/laureljupiter-im-looking-at-screenshots-of-this

Not exactly seeing the nuance here.

MMIX

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 16, 2015, 03:02:07 PM
Quote from: MMIX on May 16, 2015, 11:35:48 AM
Quote from: Hoopla on May 06, 2015, 09:20:27 PM

In other news, Joss Whedon is a sexist pig and piece of shit:

https://imgur.com/a/il1rT

Yes, we've reached the point where self-described feminist creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is sexist.

Dunno if you're actually interested in the background but I came across this today which gives a much more nuanced view of where some of this shit is coming from.
http://laureljupiter.tumblr.com/post/118320729761/laureljupiter-im-looking-at-screenshots-of-this

Not exactly seeing the nuance here.

That would be nuanced in the sense of not relying on screeching banshee internet fury and unspoken arguments. This one actually unpacks her arguments. Hence the "nuanced" comment.

ETA Also I personally found some of this informative from the POV that my love of Joss comes from Buffy, Angel and Firefly. I found it interesting to see the development of the growing disconcertion [is that even a word?] in feminist quarters [which I have long since ceased to visit personally] as worth drawing attention to if people are interested in what is causing so much shit to fly. YMMV
"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber