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i mean, pardon my english but this, the life i'm living is ww1 trench warfare.

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The Discordian Book of Juju

Started by Zurtok Khan, September 20, 2004, 05:34:03 AM

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Zurtok Khan

And behold!  Eris came to me in the shower whilst I was touching myself and told me to write the Discordian Book of Juju that all mayst disregard it's non-message to humanity on the state of Magickkkkk.

Of course, this all happened a few months ago, and in proper style I'm not getting around to until now.  That intro sucked goat balls.

The TP ritual:

Sit down on a cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get a roll of toilet paper.

Sit back down on the cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get chopsticks.

Sit back down in the same spot.

Stand up, and go get a ballpoint pen (working or not, its up to you).

Take one peice of toilet paper and set it on the ground.

Take chopsticks in hand and pick up pen.

Without ripping the TP (if you rip it use another sheet, you may need many rolls) write the name of a person you hate on it.  Or anyone else for that matter.

After you've succeeded in writting the name on the toilet paper, wipe your ass.

Repeat as often as neccisary.

Who wants to help me write more?  Who thinks I'm an asshole?
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

MedeoPlusPlus

Quote from: Gigglin Buddha the PenisAnd behold!  Eris came to me in the shower whilst I was touching myself and told me to write the Discordian Book of Juju that all mayst disregard it's non-message to humanity on the state of Magickkkkk.

Of course, this all happened a few months ago, and in proper style I'm not getting around to until now.  That intro sucked goat balls.

The TP ritual:

Sit down on a cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get a roll of toilet paper.

Sit back down on the cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get chopsticks.

Sit back down in the same spot.

Stand up, and go get a ballpoint pen (working or not, its up to you).

Take one peice of toilet paper and set it on the ground.

Take chopsticks in hand and pick up pen.

Without ripping the TP (if you rip it use another sheet, you may need many rolls) write the name of a person you hate on it.  Or anyone else for that matter.

After you've succeeded in writting the name on the toilet paper, wipe your ass.

Repeat as often as neccisary.

Who wants to help me write more?  Who thinks I'm an asshole?

1. I think you're an asshole. But it's okay, you're among friends.

2. Personally, I find it difficult to wipe my ass with a single sheet of TP- could I do a variation where I use several dozen sheets, then roll them up into a ball before the final step?
1. e4             e5
2. Bc4           Bc5
3. Qf3           Ne7
4. Qxf7++

Horab Fibslager

Quote from: Medeo
Quote from: Gigglin Buddha the PenisAnd behold!  Eris came to me in the shower whilst I was touching myself and told me to write the Discordian Book of Juju that all mayst disregard it's non-message to humanity on the state of Magickkkkk.

Of course, this all happened a few months ago, and in proper style I'm not getting around to until now.  That intro sucked goat balls.

The TP ritual:

Sit down on a cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get a roll of toilet paper.

Sit back down on the cold, hard bathroom floor.

Stand up, and go get chopsticks.

Sit back down in the same spot.

Stand up, and go get a ballpoint pen (working or not, its up to you).

Take one peice of toilet paper and set it on the ground.

Take chopsticks in hand and pick up pen.

Without ripping the TP (if you rip it use another sheet, you may need many rolls) write the name of a person you hate on it.  Or anyone else for that matter.

After you've succeeded in writting the name on the toilet paper, wipe your ass.

Repeat as often as neccisary.

Who wants to help me write more?  Who thinks I'm an asshole?

1. I think you're an asshole. But it's okay, you're among friends.

2. Personally, I find it difficult to wipe my ass with a single sheet of TP- could I do a variation where I use several dozen sheets, then roll them up into a ball before the final step?

treekiller!
Hell is other people.

MedeoPlusPlus

Quote from: Horab Fibslagertreekiller!

Treemonster!
1. e4             e5
2. Bc4           Bc5
3. Qf3           Ne7
4. Qxf7++

Horab Fibslager

hey i jsut smokem! at least i don't use multiple sheets fo toilet paper in soem vulgar act of anti-arborealism!
Hell is other people.

MedeoPlusPlus

I'm from the US of A, pal. Thoughtlessly wasting natural resources is our modus operandi.
1. e4             e5
2. Bc4           Bc5
3. Qf3           Ne7
4. Qxf7++

Horab Fibslager

it's all about conquerign oen's environemnt by laying waste to it with whoel sale slaughter eh?
Hell is other people.

MedeoPlusPlus

Hey, whatever works.

(Which may or may not be what we're doing right now (the second one), but unfortunately most Americans are too busy caring who wins on the new Survivor series and whom J-Lo sells her ass to next to give a flying fuck.)
1. e4             e5
2. Bc4           Bc5
3. Qf3           Ne7
4. Qxf7++

Horab Fibslager

of ocurse, indifference buffed by ignorance, buffed by pantheonism. meet the new roman empire.
Hell is other people.

MedeoPlusPlus

1. e4             e5
2. Bc4           Bc5
3. Qf3           Ne7
4. Qxf7++

Horab Fibslager

zealousness in gluttony and lust only makes the barbarian savages bolder.
Hell is other people.

Zurtok Khan

QuoteO tempora, o mores.

You make me want to eat fried food.

But, humorously (and maybe even a bit seriously) anyone want to help me write the book of absurd rituals and kinky paradox's?  If I actually take the time to write something good...well, it turns out good.

And FYI, I'm handing it over to www.irreality.com when its done (if it ever gets there).  Mrrrr.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Horab Fibslager

Hell is other people.

B_M_W

Why do you think anybody would like to read about your fantasies?

Are you as disgusting as I think you are?
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0


6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

East Coast Hustle

am I a bad person for using 4 times as much TP as I need?  

didn't you already ask him that in an earlier post?

8)
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"