Roy Orbison in Clingfilm

[Hoshiko]

Shh, eldora, be kind. You know that agent lost her eyes in that tragic naturallycurly.com explosion last fall. It's a wonder she can even post.

Wait, isn't that... the house that eats people?

[agent compassion]

Shh, eldora, be kind. You know that agent lost her eyes in that tragic naturallycurly.com explosion last fall. It's a wonder she can even post.

Wait, isn't that... the house that eats people?

 Now you know my tragic secret....yes, it was the infamous "Uncrustables" fight...one of the newbies took out my precious orbs with a sharpened spork!!!!  

And no,  I think the house that eats people belongs to Peter Griffin from "Family Guy." Or maybe it just threatened people? I know it said "Bring me a toolshed for I am hungry."

[Bob the Mediocre]

I sure have, Bob. In fact, it's across the street from me. It gives me nightmares.

Purple with bright white lace trim, a miniature gazebo with tiny attached fence, and honest-to-god lawn gnomes. And in my dreams, they're covered in blood.

We call it the mafia house, so I can still die happy, right after I find a cardboard cutout of Roy.

Across the street? I had to go on a long trip somewhere to see one. I have no idea where it is, but I remember it. I think it had pink shutters.