In my neck of the woods, Christmas Eve-Eve is celebrated as CURSEMAS, a holiday on which you may bestow minor curses onto people.
For example,
BDS: I curse you so that next time you get an erection, you momentarily think of Justin Beiber
Richter: I curse you to get no effects from caffeine for the next 24 hours.
Roger: I curse you to accidentally sit on a stool at the meatrack which is covered in inexplicable slime.
Cain: I curse you with a passing but fervent belief in right wing talking points.
Eater of Clowns: I curse you to perform at least one verse from Jailhouse Rock for your coworkers
Suu: I curse you to use the word Smurf randomly for the next 24 hours
Rev. What's-His-Name?: I curse you with "phantom I've gotta pee" syndrome
LMNO: I curse you with whiskey dick
Squid: I curse you with with the ability to read minds, but only when they're thinking something rude about you
Lysergic: I curse you to be known as "Magic Fingers" by your relatives
Able: I curse you to find out the true meaning of kumquats
Charley Brown: I curse you to accidentally say "Merry meet" and "blessed be" for the next 24 hours
Nigel: I curse you an unheard of medical condition nobody will even believe you have. Symptoms include storming around your house in a bathrobe, issuing people tickets for every way that they have failed to muster proper holiday cheer, and a mild headache.
BadBeast: I curse you with a temporary obsession with psoriases. Pictures of it will arouse you.
Cuddlefist: I curse you to listen to smooth jazz for 4 and a half minutes. No more or you will become ensorcelled and get your band to play covers of it.
Burns: I curse you to only be able to watch reruns for 24 hours.
Vex: I curse you with an itchy asshole
The Dancing Pickle: To everybody else it will seem like you have a runny nose. Only you will know the truth - it's not mucus, it's ghost jizz.
DOKTOR EKTO: I curse your cell phone to die at an inopportune time
Lord Glittersnatch: I curse you with an allergy to pencils for 24 hours.
BabylonHoruv: GET YOUR DICK OUT OF THAT FISH, YOU FISH FUCKER!
Remington: I curse you to hear your name called in the distance but it's nobody
Hoopla: I curse you to spill something red on your wonderful suit.
The first person to reply to this thread: I curse you with the compulsion to come up with at least 5 more curses.
apologies to anybody I missed!
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2010, 06:21:37 PM
In my neck of the woods, Christmas Eve-Eve is celebrated as CURSEMAS, a holiday on which you may bestow minor curses onto people.
For example,
LMNO: I curse you with whiskey dick
This you call a minor curse?
Cramulus, I curse you to believe for five minutes that you life is really fairly dull.
Cramulus, I curse you to understand how silly LARPing actually is. (Yes, I cursed you twice)
Kai, I curse you to defending Intelligent Design for an entire cocktail party.
Fred, I curse you with antipathy towards Syracuse Basketball for an entire season.
Jenne, I curse you with assless chaps.
Ok, that last one was more for my own benefit.
I'm just glad that I'm NOT BDS! :eek:
Cramulus, I curse you to speak in bad rhymes.
it already happened. FML.
:lulz:
Mangrove: I curse your IPOD (or any other audio replication device) to only play Kenny G for the next 72 hours.
LHX: I have cursed your carriage to be stuck in a ditch, never to return.
Grade 7 Pannus: I curse you to be stranded in a telephone booth with Ambassador Klok Kaos. He'll probably "sing".
Squid: I curse your hubby with an uncontrollable urge to send all of his synth toys to me.
Roger: When you log onto pd.com, no pd.com. Just sigils. Lots and lots of sigils.
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2010, 06:21:37 PM
Nigel: I curse you an unheard of medical condition nobody will even believe you have. Symptoms include storming around your house in a bathrobe, issuing people tickets for every way that they have failed to muster proper holiday cheer, and a mild headache.
Wait, I think I already have that.
Triple Zero: I curse you to make Turkey puns even though everybody you're hanging out with in Turkey is just gonna roll their eyes.
Pixie and Payne: I curse you to refer to each other as "bro" and "sis" next time you hook up.
Coyote: I curse you to have eye crust all day and nobody points it out
Sigmatic: I curse you to hear the word "Christmas" as "gang rape"
Nast: I curse you to start cleaning something and only make it messier in the process and then give up
Phox: Bad Hair Day
Rumckle: I curse you to lose your keys and then find them, after some frustration, in a place you already looked
EOT: I curse you to only be able to speak in sentence fragments for 10 straight minutes. (has to be while in the presence of others)
Requia: I curse you to send overly joyous holiday text messages which will make people wonder if some holiday crazed lunatic has gotten ahold of your phone
Hover Cat: Today, all fruit tastes like pee to you.
Dr. Blight: I curse you to sneeze right before you have to shake hands with somebody
Ratatosk: I curse you to wear panties under your clothes and, if discovered, try to play it off like you just shop at Victor's Secret and there's nothing weird about that
Everyone: I curse you that sometime in the next week you will have a brief but incredibly frustrating Internet outage right when you are eagerly anticipating watching an extremely amusing Youtube video, which you found while otherwise in a state of utter helpless boredom.
Not my white suit!
Lawsy lawsy lawsy!
:lulz:@ LMNO
I like this idea! Huzzah for Cursemas!
LMNO: I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.
RWHN: I curse you to rhyme only in quatrains till someone begs you to stop 5 times in a row.
CRAM: I curse you to find no fake mustaches appealing for the entire weekend.
Rog: I curse you to a holiday in Tucson (I can only say this because I know he has the antidote being surrounded by his wine, women and song!)
Squid: I curse you to be blessed with more Santa Cupcakes for Further Adventuring
Kai: I curse you to be stuck with much snow since the San Diego sun did not sit well with your December ideals ;)
ECH: I curse you with great ability to smell good food that you are not allowed to eat or create
000: I Turkey curse you. (C'mon, it was too easy, apologies if this is doubly done)
EoC: I curse you with a dispatch call about a car full of clowns
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 07:04:30 PM
:lulz:@ LMNO
I like this idea! Huzzah for Cursemas!
LMNO: I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.
THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING
Hoops: I curse you with all the Toronto Beer Store sales you can handle, and then some
Burns: I curse you with ultimate WOMP creativity that will make grown men cry and babies projectile vomit
Pix: I curse you with many sandwich meats and bread to make the ultimate sandwich feast
Payne: I curse you with an empty stomach so you can be fed on ultimate sandwich feast
Nimh: I curse you with awesome powers of hearing and sight so you can see Christmas well-wishers a mile away and thus avoid them for the rest of the weekend!
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 23, 2010, 07:07:03 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 07:04:30 PM
:lulz:@ LMNO
I like this idea! Huzzah for Cursemas!
LMNO: I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.
THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING
HAWK: I just cursed you with the same!
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 07:07:51 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 23, 2010, 07:07:03 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 07:04:30 PM
:lulz:@ LMNO
I like this idea! Huzzah for Cursemas!
LMNO: I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.
THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING
HAWK: I just cursed you with the same!
:D :D :D
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 23, 2010, 07:07:03 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 07:04:30 PM
:lulz:@ LMNO
I like this idea! Huzzah for Cursemas!
LMNO: I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.
THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING
No, I think for LMNO, it is a typical Thursday. :lol:
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 23, 2010, 07:09:17 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 23, 2010, 07:07:03 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 07:04:30 PM
:lulz:@ LMNO
I like this idea! Huzzah for Cursemas!
LMNO: I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.
THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING
No, I think for LMNO, it is a typical Thursday. :lol:
:lulz:
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 23, 2010, 07:07:03 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 07:04:30 PM
:lulz:@ LMNO
I like this idea! Huzzah for Cursemas!
LMNO: I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.
THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING
Is curse. After 24 hours, I
stop noticing boobs.
:cry:
Nast: I curse you with the only cute hairdo this side of the Embarcadero
Nigel: I curse you with cookies. Of all kinds.
Eve: I curse you with too much tail, not enough time
Bella: I curse you with clear skies and cat fur (not much of a curse!)
Liam: I curse you with powers to mindmeld with neighbors and catch them in trickery the sorts of which you've only imagined
Cain: I curse you with the ability to speak in tongues about the history of saints and sinners, meanwhile winning card game after card game at the local pub while your audience sits rapt in attention, unable to belive their ears
Suu: I curse you with good times in great places before you head home for RI
Enrico curse all of you to spend New Year's Eve night in the Generalissimo's basement apartment. Once those doors lock, is no turn back. Fuck fire code.
See you soon, glorious faggots!
CRAMULUS! I curse you with nightmares of balding!
Roger! I curse you with even more nice neighbors.
Most other people here! I curse you with occasional mild headaches, and nothing good being on when you turn on the T.V.!
Find something else to do, FFS!
Quote from: Enrico Salazar on December 23, 2010, 07:17:38 PM
Enrico curse all of you to spend New Year's Eve night in the Generalissimo's basement apartment. Once those doors lock, is no turn back. Fuck fire code.
See you soon, glorious faggots!
Shit, WHY didn't I make New Year's plans yet?!? :x
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 23, 2010, 07:10:30 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 23, 2010, 07:07:03 PM
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 07:04:30 PM
:lulz:@ LMNO
I like this idea! Huzzah for Cursemas!
LMNO: I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.
THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING
Is curse. After 24 hours, I stop noticing boobs.
:cry:
Let me help.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2e/Gynecomastia_001.jpg/220px-Gynecomastia_001.jpg)
Moobs do count, don't they?
Quote from: DOKTOR EKTO on December 23, 2010, 07:21:06 PM
CRAMULUS! I curse you with nightmares of balding!
Roger! I curse you with even more nice neighbors.
Most other people here! I curse you with occasional mild headaches, and nothing good being on when you turn on the T.V.! Find something else to do, FFS!
Quote from: Enrico Salazar on December 23, 2010, 07:17:38 PM
Enrico curse all of you to spend New Year's Eve night in the Generalissimo's basement apartment. Once those doors lock, is no turn back. Fuck fire code.
See you soon, glorious faggots!
Shit, WHY didn't I make New Year's plans yet?!? :x
I curse you Doktor Ekto, to only find awesome things to do on New Year's Eve, and not enough time to do them all!
Gah!
CRAM YOU DAMNULUS
I curse you to be followed by talentless street performers for a whole block!
Jenne - I curse you to having a dry Christmas during which the terrible truths of that which may never be shall be revealed to you all the while you are drinking a nice glass of wine :wink: Maybe 4 or 5 or the bottle! I know how inlaws can be!
Charley - I curse you to a holiday season of more good cheer than even you can handle!
Roger - I send you some of my snow, please feel free to share this curse with all of Tucson! Also if it actually lands please film for great lulz!
LMNO - I curse you to at least one terribly flavored vodka drink per party.... I mean really terrible like chocolate or something.
Nigel - I curse you to the terrible tamale twist which consists of eating more than you should have then dancing until you have to eat more just for the energy!
RWHN - yeah, wrapping paper clean up and fighting for the boxes from the kiddies, no curse needed :lulz:
Suu - Hell you're in Florida how much worse can it really get?
ECH - I curse you to the most amazing recipe you have ever dreamed to come to you in the middle of a drunken sleep, unfortunately you fall back asleep halfway thru writing it down.
Happy Holidays!!!
Nah, the kids get along splendidy. I don't think there will be much fighting.
Also, I have a process for dealing with the wrapping paper. Some might call it anal, obsessive compulsive, but the shit disappears pretty quickly.
All of you, Are cursed to Hotel California PD.com
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 23, 2010, 08:27:34 PM
Some might call it anal, obsessive compulsive, but the shit disappears pretty quickly.
:news:
RWHN HOSPITALIZED FOR PAPER CUTS AFTER CRAMMING WRAPING PAPER UP ASS, FILK AT 11
Babylon: All your porn is replaced with Amish porn.
"Don't look now, but Ezekial's barn door is open!"
"Group Barn Raising"
"Also, featuring a 6 page spread of Mary's bare ankles!"
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2010, 08:31:50 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 23, 2010, 08:27:34 PM
Some might call it anal, obsessive compulsive, but the shit disappears pretty quickly.
:news:
RWHN HOSPITALIZED FOR PAPER CUTS AFTER CRAMMING WRAPING PAPER UP ASS, FILK AT 11
FILK YOU MISTER MAN!
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 23, 2010, 08:32:01 PM
Babylon: All your porn is replaced with Amish porn.
"Don't look now, but Ezekial's barn door is open!"
"Group Barn Raising"
"Also, featuring a 6 page spread of Mary's bare ankles!"
:spittake:
:lulz:
Awww, Cram! Pee fruit? q.q
Phox: you are cursed to have to translate pig latin for younger relatives sometime in the near future.
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 23, 2010, 07:57:32 PM
Gah!
CRAM YOU DAMNULUS
I curse you to be followed by talentless street performers for a whole block!
Even worse, I add to this curse that they are MIMES!!!!
:lulz:
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 23, 2010, 07:57:32 PM
Gah!
CRAM YOU DAMNULUS
I curse you to be followed by talentless street performers for a whole block!
Sig: I curse you to find chewing gum under your desk, for no reason at all. Also, I curse you with tasty eggnog the likes of which will uncurl your hair!
Quote from: Charley Brown on December 23, 2010, 08:28:28 PM
All of you, Are cursed to Hotel California PD.com
As a denizen of California, I approve of this message.
Cramulus: I curse you to hear "Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney 5 times a day until the 26th, and then have it stuck in your head until New Years (If I must suffer it, so must you)
LMNO: I curse you and your band to be the ones playing it (except that you don't manage to make it sound like a decent song)
Roger: I curse you so that whenever you enter the Meetrack for the next week it only plays Taylor Swift
Rat: I curse you that you get stuck watching a Sex in the City marathon
Sigmatic: I curse you that you have to hear an annoying sound with a steady tempo that you can't quite figure out where it is, what's doing it, or how to stop it.
Jenne: Next time you buy alcohol, you will be CARDED.
Blight: You will grow a single, unusually long nose hair; And it WON'T EVEN BE YOUR OWN HAIR COLOR.
:lulz: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :lulz:
Cram: I curse you to have random outbursts of the most annoying parts of various showtunes for the next 24 hours. Also, you were right! :argh!:
HC: I curse you to think of the most atrociously written parts of Catcher in the Rye consistently for the next 24 hours. You are an evil, evil person! :argh!:
Blight: I curse you to think of me next time you get it on with your lady friend. That'll teach you to forget me! :argh!:
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 23, 2010, 11:00:28 PM
Jenne: Next time you buy alcohol, you will be CARDED.
Whoah, DUDE! Your curse just came true! Was carded for lambrusco about 20 minutes ago!
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 11:31:59 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 23, 2010, 11:00:28 PM
Jenne: Next time you buy alcohol, you will be CARDED.
Whoah, DUDE! Your curse just came true! Was carded for lambrusco about 20 minutes ago!
HOLY SHIT!!!! SMELLY PAGAN ALERT!!!!
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 23, 2010, 11:21:53 PM
:lulz: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :lulz:
Cram: I curse you to have random outbursts of the most annoying parts of various showtunes for the next 24 hours. Also, you were right! :argh!:
HC: I curse you to think of the most atrociously written parts of Catcher in the Rye consistently for the next 24 hours. You are an evil, evil person! :argh!:
Blight: I curse you to think of me next time you get it on with your lady friend. That'll teach you to forget me! :argh!:
Hmmm. I'll let you know the results tomorrow.
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2010, 06:42:31 PM
Requia: I curse you to send overly joyous holiday text messages which will make people wonder if some holiday crazed lunatic has gotten ahold of your phone
Interesting. In return I curse you to having a droopy mustache.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 23, 2010, 06:30:07 PM
Fred, I curse you with antipathy towards Syracuse Basketball for an entire season.
:crankey: :crankey: :crankey: :crankey: :crankey:
BASTARD! you have nearly undone me, but I have somehow survived!
CRAMULUS From this night to the night of the next I curse you with NORMALITY!
Quote from: Jenne on December 23, 2010, 11:31:59 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on December 23, 2010, 11:00:28 PM
Jenne: Next time you buy alcohol, you will be CARDED.
Whoah, DUDE! Your curse just came true! Was carded for lambrusco about 20 minutes ago!
:magick:
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 24, 2010, 12:16:24 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 23, 2010, 11:21:53 PM
:lulz: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :lulz:
Cram: I curse you to have random outbursts of the most annoying parts of various showtunes for the next 24 hours. Also, you were right! :argh!:
HC: I curse you to think of the most atrociously written parts of Catcher in the Rye consistently for the next 24 hours. You are an evil, evil person! :argh!:
Blight: I curse you to think of me next time you get it on with your lady friend. That'll teach you to forget me! :argh!:
Hmmm. I'll let you know the results tomorrow.
Correction. Sunday.
-Blight,
Really fucking hates the MBTA right now.
Blight - I curse you to define recursion without first defining recursion.
Richter - I curse you to use the bastard word normalcy instead of the righteous normality.
Niamh - You are cursed to cook dried hominy rather than canned.
Charley - For three days whenever you look in a mirror, your reflection will refuse to make eye contact.
Cramulus - You shall not know bacon. Whenever bacon is mentioned, you will have no idea what it is; you've never heard of it before, even if you are eating it at that moment.
Sigmatic - You can only communicate through stop-motion LEGO short films.
Jenne - I curse you to read this thread title as Cherry Mursemas, wondering silently what a murse is.
Fred - You are cursed with feeling peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth though none is there.
Phox - You know where Carmen Sandiego is. You will always know.
Requia - SCARVES EVERYWHERE.
Hover Cat - Until midnight, Able/Peleus/Yatto is perfectly comprehensible. Everyone else you will read as though they are Able/Peleus/Yatto.
EoC- I curse you to smell an unidentifiable but unpleasant smell for the next 72 hours. This will occur gradually, only noticing in a couple of hours. You will eventually realize it's on you. You will not be able to wash it off. It will just disappear on its own. Other people can smell it too.
Cram, I curse to always taste everything as if it was over seasoned and badly burnt.
Blight-I curse you to have a personal soundtrack going on in your head, consisting entirely of Bieber and J-Pop
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on December 24, 2010, 02:12:28 AM
Cram, I curse to always taste everything as if it was over seasoned and badly burnt.
Blight-I curse you to have a personal soundtrack going on in your head, consisting entirely of Bieber and J-Pop
Semaj, I curse you to speak like a Canadian
QuoteSemaj, I curse you to speak like a Canadian
Too late. Born with that curse.
Eater of Clowns : I curse you with a greater Fall River accent!
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on December 24, 2010, 04:18:06 AM
QuoteSemaj, I curse you to speak like a Canadian
Too late. Born with that curse.
Then I curse you to... um... I don't know.
EoC: I curse you to lose your creativity for a period of time that is just unbearable enough.
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 04:26:56 AM
EoC: I curse you to lose your creativity for a period of time that is just unbearable enough.
Dammit, Phox, 24 year retroactive curses ARE NOT COOL.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 24, 2010, 05:20:15 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 04:26:56 AM
EoC: I curse you to lose your creativity for a period of time that is just unbearable enough.
Dammit, Phox, 24 year retroactive curses ARE NOT COOL.
:lol:
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 05:21:29 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 24, 2010, 05:20:15 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 04:26:56 AM
EoC: I curse you to lose your creativity for a period of time that is just unbearable enough.
Dammit, Phox, 24 year retroactive curses ARE NOT COOL.
:lol:
You got some of it on me too when it was on the way. Just look at how I had no comeback for Semaj.
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 24, 2010, 05:24:15 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 05:21:29 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 24, 2010, 05:20:15 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 04:26:56 AM
EoC: I curse you to lose your creativity for a period of time that is just unbearable enough.
Dammit, Phox, 24 year retroactive curses ARE NOT COOL.
:lol:
You got some of it on me too when it was on the way. Just look at how I had no comeback for Semaj.
That one wasn't me. You're just going to happen to think about me during sex for next 5 years, despite me only specifying the next time. Be glad I didn't include masturbating in the curse.... you'd never be rid of me. :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 05:29:48 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 24, 2010, 05:24:15 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 05:21:29 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 24, 2010, 05:20:15 AM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 24, 2010, 04:26:56 AM
EoC: I curse you to lose your creativity for a period of time that is just unbearable enough.
Dammit, Phox, 24 year retroactive curses ARE NOT COOL.
:lol:
You got some of it on me too when it was on the way. Just look at how I had no comeback for Semaj.
That one wasn't me. You're just going to happen to think about me during sex for next 5 years, despite me only specifying the next time. Be glad I didn't include masturbating in the curse.... you'd never be rid of me. :lulz:
:lulz:
Phox-I curse you so that clowns will find themselves obsessively attracted to you.
(http://imgur.com/bXtXq.jpg)
This type of clown.
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on December 24, 2010, 05:52:28 AM
Phox-I curse you so that clowns will find themselves obsessively attracted to you.
(http://imgur.com/bXtXq.jpg)
This type of clown.
That's not really a curse. Now if it had been the guys from ICP...
But nevertheless, I curse you with an insatiable desire for storebrand poptarts. The chocolate flavored ones.
Burns gets ready for a Golden Girls marathon. :x:1fap:
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2010, 06:42:31 PM
Triple Zero: I curse you to make Turkey puns even though everybody you're hanging out with in Turkey is just gonna roll their eyes.
That's not a curse! The reverse would be a curse, when I'd completely forget to make any Turkey puns!
Which is exactly what happened, CRAM YOU DAMNULUS!! :argh!:
I Curse You With A Hole In Your Shoe-Sole.
Which Will Soak Semi-Frozen Salty-Snow-Sludge.
While You Shop For New Shoes.
Which, When You Find Them, Really Nice Shoes, And You Buy Them, They Don't Help
Cause Your Socks Are Still Soaked And Cold And You Forgot To Get Comfy Dry Socks First
MWUAHAHAHAHAA
I curse all of you non-TRONE spags to come shovel the fucking snow off mah lawn!
:argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!: :argh!:
Cursemas is over! And when did "Mursemas" begin/end? EoC, I'm lookin at YUO! :argh!:
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 27, 2010, 10:01:23 AM
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2010, 06:42:31 PM
Triple Zero: I curse you to make Turkey puns even though everybody you're hanging out with in Turkey is just gonna roll their eyes.
That's not a curse! The reverse would be a curse, when I'd completely forget to make any Turkey puns! Which is exactly what happened, CRAM YOU DAMNULUS!! :argh!:
I Curse You With A Hole In Your Shoe-Sole.
Which Will Soak Semi-Frozen Salty-Snow-Sludge.
While You Shop For New Shoes.
Which, When You Find Them, Really Nice Shoes, And You Buy Them, They Don't Help Cause Your Socks Are Still Soaked And Cold And You Forgot To Get Comfy Dry Socks First
MWUAHAHAHAHAA
Oh no, TripZip, it's even better than that. :evil:
He has comfy dry socks to wear... but they're specially-made DIABETIC SOCKS that I got him for Moosemas.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Heh, this makes me wonder if there's any such thing as "rough" jazz... That gives me an idea for a cover...
Anywho, I may be a bit late, but, I curse you all with the curse of Cuddlethulu - you all will be skittish and timid, and you will become frightened at the smallest things, after which you will "ink" your pance.
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Heh, this makes me wonder if there's any such thing as "rough" jazz...
Yes. Naked City - "Jazz Snobs Eat Shit" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79rHMifBODs)
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
Jazz musicians should be kept in small cages, and only let out one night a year. On a night that I'm out of the country.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 27, 2010, 06:50:20 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Heh, this makes me wonder if there's any such thing as "rough" jazz...
Yes. Naked City - "Jazz Snobs Eat Shit" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79rHMifBODs)
That certainly was... something...
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 06:56:01 PM
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
:lulz: My brother is a classically trained jazz drummer. Imma say that to him just to watch his panties bunch. (Just like, whenever I'm in a group of self-proclaimed "artists," I say "there is no longer art, only advertising." That seems to get them all riled up nice nice.)
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 06:56:01 PM
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
You might be interested to know that the first self-proclaimed free jazz record (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0HB8ybKJzo) was exactly that -- only it was
six people.
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 07:30:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 27, 2010, 06:50:20 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Heh, this makes me wonder if there's any such thing as "rough" jazz...
Yes. Naked City - "Jazz Snobs Eat Shit" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79rHMifBODs)
That certainly was... something...
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 06:56:01 PM
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
:lulz: My brother is a classically trained jazz drummer. Imma say that to him just to watch his panties bunch. (Just like, whenever I'm in a group of self-proclaimed "artists," I say "there is no longer art, only advertising." That seems to get them all riled up nice nice.)
It's not a true statement, but it seems to work nicely. :lol:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 27, 2010, 07:33:29 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 06:56:01 PM
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
You might be interested to know that the first self-proclaimed free jazz record (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0HB8ybKJzo) was exactly that -- only it was six people.
"Free" Jazz? What the fuck is that? They're all just noodling on their fucking instruments in REGULAR jazz.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 07:35:36 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 07:30:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 27, 2010, 06:50:20 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Heh, this makes me wonder if there's any such thing as "rough" jazz...
Yes. Naked City - "Jazz Snobs Eat Shit" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79rHMifBODs)
That certainly was... something...
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 06:56:01 PM
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
:lulz: My brother is a classically trained jazz drummer. Imma say that to him just to watch his panties bunch. (Just like, whenever I'm in a group of self-proclaimed "artists," I say "there is no longer art, only advertising." That seems to get them all riled up nice nice.)
It's not a true statement, but it seems to work nicely. :lol:
Oh, of course I don't beleive that, it just serves to get the art-hipsters to justify thier outragously expensive art degrees, and question if working on the advertisement team of some shitty company is what they had in mind all those years ago when they first decided they wanted to be an artist. Plus, it gets them all red in the face. I just slink away afterwards and listen to them bicker amongst themselves.
QuoteThe Dancing Pickle: To everybody else it will seem like you have a runny nose. Only you will know the truth - it's not mucus, it's ghost jizz.
THAT'S why the nasal decongestant I've been taking at night isn't working and I'm still waking up with a runny nose. It's not snot, it's Cramulus's Cursemas ghost blowing his ectoplasmic load up my nose.
And here I was using Vicks Vapo-Rub, when I've been inhaling ghostly vapors all along anyway.
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 07:41:26 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 07:35:36 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 07:30:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 27, 2010, 06:50:20 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Heh, this makes me wonder if there's any such thing as "rough" jazz...
Yes. Naked City - "Jazz Snobs Eat Shit" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79rHMifBODs)
That certainly was... something...
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 06:56:01 PM
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
:lulz: My brother is a classically trained jazz drummer. Imma say that to him just to watch his panties bunch. (Just like, whenever I'm in a group of self-proclaimed "artists," I say "there is no longer art, only advertising." That seems to get them all riled up nice nice.)
It's not a true statement, but it seems to work nicely. :lol:
Oh, of course I don't beleive that, it just serves to get the art-hipsters to justify thier outragously expensive art degrees, and question if working on the advertisement team of some shitty company is what they had in mind all those years ago when they first decided they wanted to be an artist. Plus, it gets them all red in the face. I just slink away afterwards and listen to them bicker amongst themselves.
I'm going to a gallery opening next month (Thanks for the idea, Nigel!), and I plan to use that at some point.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 07:48:35 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 07:41:26 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 07:35:36 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 07:30:04 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 27, 2010, 06:50:20 PM
Quote from: Cuddlethulu on December 27, 2010, 06:42:41 PM
Heh, this makes me wonder if there's any such thing as "rough" jazz...
Yes. Naked City - "Jazz Snobs Eat Shit" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79rHMifBODs)
That certainly was... something...
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 06:56:01 PM
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
:lulz: My brother is a classically trained jazz drummer. Imma say that to him just to watch his panties bunch. (Just like, whenever I'm in a group of self-proclaimed "artists," I say "there is no longer art, only advertising." That seems to get them all riled up nice nice.)
It's not a true statement, but it seems to work nicely. :lol:
Oh, of course I don't beleive that, it just serves to get the art-hipsters to justify thier outragously expensive art degrees, and question if working on the advertisement team of some shitty company is what they had in mind all those years ago when they first decided they wanted to be an artist. Plus, it gets them all red in the face. I just slink away afterwards and listen to them bicker amongst themselves.
I'm going to a gallery opening next month (Thanks for the idea, Nigel!), and I plan to use that at some point.
Nice, let me know how the reaction goes.
Merry Cursemas!
If you're reading this, I curse you with an unquenchable craving for the taste of toothpaste.
What's funny is that I was already thinking of cursing you before you bumped this.
I guess that makes me a pre-curser!
:rimshot:
Dammit. Toothpaste makes me want to puke. Well some of it does. Usually if its too minty.
I missed this thread last year.
Therefore, I curse you all to miss it this year.
CRAMULUS: I curse you with uncomfortable socks; it will always feel like they're bunched up at the toes!
RICHTER: I curse you with an insatiable need to use Q-tip on your ears at all times!
SUU: I curse you with a tendency to sneeze often in social situations!
TGRR: I curse you to always put your t-shirts on backwards on the first try!
HOOPLA: I curse you with a subscription to all the same magazines that Enrico has!
NIGEL: I curse you with the need to make your sentences rhyme!
PAYNE: I curse you, such that all beer you drink for the next six months tastes like Budweiser!
CAIN: I curse you to always misplace your coffee whenever you set it down!
TRIPLE ZERO: I curse you to step in recently-used chewing gum once every other day!
EVERYONE ELSE: I curse you to feel slightly offended that I forgot to make a curse for you! SUCK IT.
Quote from: Cainad on December 23, 2011, 07:47:26 PM
HOOPLA: I curse you with a subscription to all the same magazines that Enrico has!
I believe this violates the Geneva convention.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 23, 2011, 07:50:09 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 23, 2011, 07:47:26 PM
HOOPLA: I curse you with a subscription to all the same magazines that Enrico has!
I believe this violates the Geneva convention.
Thank you for reminding me.
As thanks, I curse you to feel as though your hats no longer quite fit your head as well as they used to.
I curse your seed. All the sperm in your balls right now have :spag2: genes.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 27, 2010, 07:33:29 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 27, 2010, 06:56:01 PM
Jazz isn't "music", it's 4 people playing 4 different songs in the same room at the same time.
You might be interested to know that the first self-proclaimed free jazz record (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0HB8ybKJzo) was exactly that -- only it was six people.
I thought I was in a shitty garage band as a teenager. After seeing this I now know that we were just misunderstood Jazz prodigies.
Quote from: Cainad on December 23, 2011, 08:00:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 23, 2011, 07:50:09 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 23, 2011, 07:47:26 PM
HOOPLA: I curse you with a subscription to all the same magazines that Enrico has!
I believe this violates the Geneva convention.
Thank you for reminding me.
As thanks, I curse you to feel as though your hats no longer quite fit your head as well as they used to.
Oh, you
dick.
:lulz:
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 23, 2011, 08:15:24 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 23, 2011, 08:00:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 23, 2011, 07:50:09 PM
Quote from: Cainad on December 23, 2011, 07:47:26 PM
HOOPLA: I curse you with a subscription to all the same magazines that Enrico has!
I believe this violates the Geneva convention.
Thank you for reminding me.
As thanks, I curse you to feel as though your hats no longer quite fit your head as well as they used to.
Oh, you dick.
I like giving my curses a personal touch, when I can. :)
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2011, 08:03:55 PM
I curse your seed. All the sperm in your balls right now have :spag2: genes.
FUCKdo you have any idea how much fapping I'll have to do to clear this out
my balls are fucking HUGE, man
In the spirit of the holiday, have a Cursemas Card:
(http://www.jamesgunn.com/wp-content/uploads/Creepy-Christmas-xmas12.jpg)
I'm warning you spags. I have more.
alright, everybody online right now:
'Kai' ZLB, M.S., - I curse you to brush your teeth right before a meal, so the next thing you eat tastes like toothpaste for a few bites
My Lady is a Cantaloupe, I curse you to stand up too fast and get dizzy
Emo Howard, I curse you to watch a "Howard The Duck" video on youtube
Iptuous, I curse you to hunger for pie that you shall not have
Cainad, I curse you to get a faint ringing in your ear until you put your shoes on the wrong feet and take a couple steps.
Nph. Twid., I curse you to read this sentence over and over again, until you understand the curse.
Triple Zero, I curse your body temperature to drop by .25 degrees, but your ball temperature to rise by .25 degrees, creating a steamy imbalance
Secret Agent GARBO, I curse you an extra full spam folder. Maah hah hah haww
Lord Cataplanga, I curse you to have to squint at every cat you see today
Cain, I curse you with an extra youtube commercials
NoLeDeMiel, I curse you with a pebble in your shoe that you won't notice until FUCK THAT PEBBLE
nihilbilly, I curse you with a laggy internet connection
MMIX, I curse you with extra jumpiness regarding car horns
Telarus, I curse you to have issues with the tape sticking to itself
Alty, I curse you to visualize your mother licking poop
wow, the ORIGINAL Cursemas page. This is from 1998ish? http://www.angelfire.com/ct2/jellobrothers/cursemas.html
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2011, 09:16:35 PM
wow, the ORIGINAL Cursemas page. This is from 1998ish? http://www.angelfire.com/ct2/jellobrothers/cursemas.html
++Be wary of that blasted judgmental elf too.++
I Warned You, Cramulus. Do Not Test One In Possession Of The Cursemase Stare! \
\
\
(http://www.jamesgunn.com/wp-content/uploads/A-Very-Creepy-Christmas-large1.jpg)
Quote from: Cainad on December 23, 2011, 07:47:26 PM
SUU: I curse you with a tendency to sneeze often in social situations!
How dare you!
*sneezes*
Remember my leg is in a cast? I'm not doing much stepping these days, let alone in chewing gum.
Cainad, I curse you so that while shaving, you keep believing one of your sideburns is actually longer than the other.
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2010, 06:42:31 PM
Rumckle: I curse you to lose your keys and then find them, after some frustration, in a place you already looked
:argh!:
You bastard, this happened at least twice this year
Cramulus: I curse you to lose your moustaches under your bed. All of them.
Cainad: I *sneeze* curse you to have an hour of hiccups for each *achooo* sneeze I have.
mwahaha
Roger and Cramulus: I curse you both to have a shared dream experience in which you participate in questionable behaviors with one another.
LMNO: I curse you with a cold breeze to add some shrinkage to your whisky dick.
Nigel: I curse you with a slight but persistent feeling that there is a hair on your tongue.
EoC: You are cursed by extra thick ear hair, unless you can consume three or more cans of Clamato before new years, after which the effect becomes permanent.
Twid: I curse you with Hipster-Flu. I'd tell you what the symptoms are, but you probably wouldn't get it.
I'll spare Suu and Richter. They already have to share a state with me.
Quote from: Dimocritus on December 23, 2011, 11:10:05 PM
Roger and Cramulus: I curse you both to have a shared dream experience in which you participate in questionable behaviors with one another.
1. :tao&evt:
2. :a2m:
3. :oops::hi5::lol:
4.
IT WAS ALL A DREAM5. :?:hi5::?
(http://www.jamesgunn.com/wp-content/uploads/377231_10101085107552583_2225542_67563697_654259950_n.jpg)
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2011, 11:16:42 PM
Quote from: Dimocritus on December 23, 2011, 11:10:05 PM
Roger and Cramulus: I curse you both to have a shared dream experience in which you participate in questionable behaviors with one another.
1. :tao&evt:
2. :a2m:
3. :oops::hi5::lol:
4. IT WAS ALL A DREAM
5. :?:hi5::?
I think if we can somehow fit a dream within a dream, this could be the script for "Inception 2."
Quote from: Telarus on December 23, 2011, 11:24:16 PM
(http://www.jamesgunn.com/wp-content/uploads/377231_10101085107552583_2225542_67563697_654259950_n.jpg)
OH GOD
she looks hungry
WAIT WHAT IS THE SCALE OF THIS IMAGESWEET MERCIFUL FUCK THERE'S PEOPLE IN THAT BOX
Cram- i only read the sentence once.
I curse you to be very aware of that itch inside your left ear canal AND that youre out of qtips.
Dimo- i curse you to go searching for your beer only to find it in a place you havent even gone in your house today.
I curse everyone in this thread with an itch at the back of your throat that feels like it was caused by cookie crumbs and no amount of coughing will get rid of it.
Dimo: I curse you to live in West Warwick. Forever.
Twid: I curse you to get stuck at the TD Banknorth Garden during a Taylor Swift concert.
Damn suu. What did i do to deserve that?
Nothing, really. I would just blame the MBTA.
Mmm green line. Plausible scenario.
Your curses are as follows:
Twid: The Beat. The Rhythm. The Funk. These three horrible taskmasters will never leave you. Like insatiably and mildly abrasive muses youwill both loathe and long for them. To great heights will they propel you, but there may be screaming involved. And fluid. Jsut no fun otherwise.
Cramulus: Krampus, Cramulus. Coincidence? I'm onto you. How dare you hog the fun. I curse you by letting this little fact slide.
LMNO: Hold still a second. I need to see if the stage is level.
Curses. I am without curses.
Random curses as follows:
Coyote: You will lose your shovel for a period of no less than 72 hours.
Cainad: Chester A. Arthur will come back from the dead, and beat you in a muttonchop contest. Not really a curse, just a prophecy.
Richter: You will learn the hard way why paring your nails with a parang is a bad idea.
Twid: Pedal failure. 'Nuff said.
Suu: More vile humidity and funk in Florida. Then, a return to Rhode Island. I think that's harsh enough.
Cramulus: For the next 24 hours: The Parrot sketch. Over. And over. It is now in your head.
:crankey:
I CURSE YOU FUCKERS TO BITE YOUR TONGUE BADLY ENOUGH THAT IT GETS SOMEWHAT SWOLLEN AND A LITTLE SCRATCHED, THE SCRATCH THEN TURNING INTO A CANKER WITHIN A FEW HOURS, AND THERE FORE YOU KEEP BITING IT ON THE MOST PAINFUL PART AGAN AND AGAIN.
THAT'LL TEACH YOU BASTARDS NOT TO CURSE ME. MISERABLE FUCKS. :crankey:
FREEKY! You horrible bastard! :argh!:
I curse you to feel like you have to burp, but don't actually burp for like... 20 minutes! :argh!:
I curse the first person to read this to have an irritating itch just out of reach on their backs, which WON'T GO AWAY FOR AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR.
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 25, 2011, 01:13:43 PM
I curse the first person to read this to have an irritating itch just out of reach on their backs, which WON'T GO AWAY FOR AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR.
Oh you fucking cockbandit! :argh!:
I curse you to have Bing Crosby invade your dreams!
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 25, 2011, 01:17:54 PMI curse you to have Bing Crosby invade your dreams!
:fap:
I Curse Phox to suffer through five Soviet action movies from the 70's.Without subtitles.
TGRR: I curse you so that everyone in Tuscon talks in a Manchester dialect for the next 74 hours.
OH HO HO MERRY 3-YEAR-BUMP CURSEMAS
Demolition Squid: I curse you to be the protagonist of Brother Prickle's "Lovecraft for Squids" story
QGP: I curse you with a sudden overwhelming flood of the flavor of all of your cookies at once
Waffles: Next time you lift, your beard will only be able to bench half its regular max
Hoopla: Every time you enter a room, Blame Canada will play in your head, as well as the heads of whoever is in the room
Roger: For one day, Tucson will not be a ghost. For one day, Tucson will be very, very real.
LMNO: Your next show is going to let out in time for attendees to grab an early bird special.
Twid: You will read your own name as Uncle Diddlertown for one week.
Nigel: You will swim in the river.
Junkenstein: All you can think about wanting for your next meal is a sandwich from the back of a truck handed to you in a towel.
Bearman: The bear to which your name refers is a koala.
NoLeDeMiel: Today only the curse that is presently on you is lifted. You know which one.
MAESTRO: Nobody will recognize you without your luchador mask.
Cain: Your next job application will require a PhD in Doctor Who. You will have to acquire it via Tumblr.
Pix: Every time you pass a sewer drain, you will think you've spotted a Nessie.
:golfclap:
EoC- For every night up until the Epiphany or Little Christmas or whatever you feel like calling the 12th day, you will have nightmares that you are eaten by clowns.
Not the river! :horrormirth:
At least it was cookie flavors and not waffles...
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 23, 2014, 03:51:42 PM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 23, 2014, 03:49:35 PM
Not the river! :horrormirth:
But you said it would be oka-- HEY!
I said it was
possible. It says so right on the webpage. http://www.oregon.gov/deq/wq/pages/swimwillametteriver.aspx
Quote from: Cramulus on December 23, 2010, 06:21:37 PM
Roger: I curse you to accidentally sit on a stool at the meatrack which is covered in inexplicable slime.
I've often wondered how this
wouldn't happen.
Quote from: Nepos twiddletonis on December 23, 2014, 01:45:59 PM
EoC- For every night up until the Epiphany or Little Christmas or whatever you feel like calling the 12th day, you will have nightmares that you are eaten by clowns.
OH CRUEL IRONY
:lulz:
EoC: In honor of your avatar, I curse you with CRAB BATTLE. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mHKHKR8x6A)
NOT MAH BEARD!
Quote from: Demolition Squid on December 24, 2014, 09:55:55 AM
:lulz:
EoC: In honor of your avatar, I curse you with CRAB BATTLE. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mHKHKR8x6A)
OliOlioooooooo! :lulz: