Black Iron Prison Appreciation Thread

[Cramulus]

(Also known as the Stockholm Sarcasm thread)




Thank you, daily routine, for being so comfortable. I love nursing at your teat and I can 't imagine it any other way.



Thank you, nerds vs bullies narrative, for ensuring that I have kept sporting events outside of my realm of normal activities. I guess I'm much happier indoors. Nope, no plans for the superbowl.



Thank you, stubbornness, for making insularity seem like the most pleasant way to live. Now I'm the king of the insula!




Thank you, parents divorce, for making me averse to having kids or getting married. All relationships end in divorce or death, so why bother, right?



Thank you, pride, for keeping me from apologizing about that thing. I'm still carrying it around.



Thank you, sitcoms and cartoons. For a lot of my tastes and values.



Thank you, bank account, for reminding me to put a price tag on everything I do.



Thank you, first world problems, for making me feel like I've got something to whine about.

[Cramulus]

and let me add:

fuck you, wine. Fuck you for making me drunk and honest and running my mouth off at that dinner party. My honesty would surprise me. The next day, I would feel like the epitome of the word spag, like my whole life has been continually bumbling through spag country, in a way that I am ashamed of. Fuck you for bringing my inner loser to the surface where I have to confront him. Fuck you and the hangover you rode out on.

and while I'm at it, hail eris

and bring on the Aftermath

[AFK]

Thank you, paranoia for making me change my name out of fear that THEY won't be satisfied with a background check and have nothing better to do than resorting to Googling internet message boards. 

Thank you, stubbornness, for encouraging me to engage in pointless conversations.

Thank you, career induced complacency, for creating writer's blocks seemingly made of titanium-crusted concrete. 

Thank you, people pleaser personality, for making me overly concerned over mundane minutiae.

[Faust]

Thank you anxiety, without you I would be able to talk to groups of people without getting physically sick.

Thank you constant fear of death, without you I might enjoy my food and everything else I do.

Thank you prejudice, without you I would treat everyone equally and not write them off when they do something that offends me

Thank you elitism, without you prejudice wouldn't be half as good.

Thank you sense of duty, without you I wouldn't feel like a slave to everyone and everything.

Thank you escapism, without you I might actually live.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thank you, regret, for keeping me wrapped up in the past instead of forging into the future.

Thank you, obligation, for making sure I'm strapped down to the same grinding rut day after day.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Thank you, shame, for preventing me from pursuing new opportunities that "I'm not good enough for."

Thank you, apathy, for making less than bare minimum seem like enough right up until its too late.

Thank you, depression, for stealing away months of my life at a time.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Thank you, PILLS HERE, for letting me sleep as if I had a clean conscience.

TGRR,
Immoral living through chemistry.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Thank you, penis, for your long-term planning skills.

[CorbeauEtRenard]

Thank you, fear of failure, for making sure I don't risk giving myself a chance to succeed.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Thank you, God, for giving me a planet full of primates to abuse.

[Freeky]

Thank you, memory.  Without your clarity of perfect moments and meaningful exchanges, I might be able to find someone that would work for me instead of pining and being depressed.

[Lenin McCarthy]

Thank you, Jante law and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Thank you, Jante law and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.

Fuck that.

[Lenin McCarthy]

Thank you, Jante law and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.

Fuck that.

Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Thank you, Jante law and small-town Norway, for teaching me that it's never okay to be different.

Fuck that.

Yeah, that was stupid, and probably not even right.

I meant "fuck Jante Law".

This is where the I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER philosophy really pays off.