Hip Like Me

[Salty]

I propose to travel deep into the hipster world, the hipster mind. I will document my experiences for posterity, and the practice. 

I will drink PBR and ONLY PBR. (whatever is cheapest as subst.)
I will purchase and wear any hat that is moderately hips and wear it in that way they do, I will purchase skinny jeans and appropriate shoes, other clothes as needed to ensure MAX Hipness. 
I will only listen to hipster music. 
I will only watch hipster movies. 
I will take ALL advice concerning what is and what is not hipsteriffic.
I will apply this advice broadly and like unto a piston in the face to those who are less hip than I.

My goal will be to see what life is like as a bona fide, trying as hip as you can hipster. Then, when I am genuinely trying to be a hipster and irony fades into the dust I will no longer be a hipster because I'm trying and that means that I'm just a poseur and not a real for real hipster because their whole thing is not thinking about what you think about them THUS:

I will destroy the quality of hipness from all that associated with being a hipster THUS:

Changing the entire world. 

Suggestions: GO!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I approve of this plan.

-The Hipster

[Freeky]

TWEED.  YOU NEED SOME.  GET ON IT.

[Doktor Howl]

You are truly a martyr for SCIENCE, Alty.  I shall pour a little out for you.  Real beer, I mean.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Damn. The Front Lines.
Here, you'll need this.

[El Sjaako]

Flannel and fixed gear bike?

Hipsters don't want to think of themselves as hipsters, so to try to be a hipster you need to try to not think of yourself as a hipster. Thus you will only have succeeded when you feel you have failed at becoming a hipster.

[Deepthroat Chopra]

TWEED.  YOU NEED SOME.  GET ON IT.

Is that what Kotter wore in Welcome Back...



Do hipsters still wear pork-pie hats?



Sorry. I live in the country. Very much in the country. My neighbour said he might have spotted a hipster, about five years back.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

We don't have them yet either. Just emo skater types. Dok says they're proto-hipsters.
I see them in the cities, though. They're the snotty people at the shows walking around pretending they're too cool for it all and failing miserably. 

[Oysters Rockefeller]

I will drink PBR and ONLY PBR. (whatever is cheapest as subst.)

Oh, wow. You are a braver man than I.

Get some thick black glasses and flannel.
Also, if you aren't a pretentious dick, start being one.

Reading Kerouac and then acting smarter than people who don't has done wonders for my pretentiousness, if you need a jumping off point.

[Salty]

I think I can handle everything except the bike.
I don't want a super tall fixed gear monster that will certainly kill me if used to face the elements of my home.

It'll be interesting to compete with Alaskan hipsters. There are a lot more than you'd think, I've seethed drunkenly in their bars before.

What am I saying? They're MY bars now. W00t!

I'm thinking of taking a few months with this, if I spiral out of control I expect proper erisian perspective to be brutally applied to my face.

[Salty]

I do fortunately already play the ukulele.
This'll be easy!

[Freeky]

  

Oh, oh!  Also you need khaki pants that are a few inches too short. And some sort of button up shirt that is tacky as hell.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

:looks around bus for inspiration: none here right now but i saw a few last night. Grow a mustache and curl it. Or also neckbeard.

[LMNO]

This should help you with your fashion sense:

www.latfh.com

[Salty]

Facial hair is a no go, sadly. Maybe someday! After some hormone treatments...or something.
I actually need glasses so I know what kind of frame to get.

After watching this video though,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYYKOa2KNBY
I am beginning to think I am going to hate myself before very long. Anything for SCIENCE!.

Thanks for the links, guys.