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Narrative fragments

Started by Rococo Modem Basilisk, April 03, 2010, 09:01:03 PM

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Rococo Modem Basilisk

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He was, at some level, manufactured. All of them were these days, of course, and his trained hand purportedly held sway over the vast organic machinery that took raw minds and cooked them, preparing them for lives as butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, doctors, lawyers, television game show hosts, and politicians. The funny thing about power is, like growing up, it only seems nice until you have it.

Now, some poor souls rationalized. "It's no good," they told themselves like junkies, "because it's not enough," and they went off to find the next hit, the next adoring fan or crouching, groveling servant. He knew better.

Power is useless without knowledge. Absolute power, like those lesser forms, was a magnet for delusion, and every decision opened the doors to a new minefield of seductive lies.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Reginald Ret

Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Cramulus

that's cool, I like that. Is that written or generated? who is the author?

Rococo Modem Basilisk

It's written. The author is me. It's atypical in that I didn't start out from word salad and edit it down.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Reginald Ret

I would like to read more of this kind of thing.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Rococo Modem Basilisk

Good. I would like to write more of this kind of thing.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Triple Zero

Quote from: Regret on April 14, 2010, 09:59:03 PM
I would like to read more of this kind of thing.
Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on April 15, 2010, 12:51:40 AM
Good. I would like to write more of this kind of thing.

Hey! You two should get together and, you know, interact or communicate or something!



:-P

Seriously, I liked it. I have to admit I only really read it when you said it was not generated. I tried quickly reading it at first, but there is something about the sentence structure or word-choice that made me stumble a bit.

The phrase "All of them were these days", for instance. Maybe there should be a comma?

And the word "purportedly" ... it seems out of place. It has a kind of "colorless green ideas sleep furiously"-feel to it.

Maybe that was your intention. Or maybe I'm not native enough.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Placid Dingo

I like purportedly; implies that he doesn't belive what's being said (or understands that it is false), though suggests that it is the popular view.

I'd live to see where this goes.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Pope Pixie Pickle

Fuck me! There is some signal in Enki's noise!

Well done mate.

Hoser McRhizzy

Most excellent, Enki.  I enjoyed reading this.  Count another one looking forward to you writing 'more of that sort of thing.'

Quote from: Triple Zero on April 15, 2010, 01:40:07 PM
The phrase "All of them were these days", for instance. Maybe there should be a comma?

If you take your time with it, it flows: there's a rhythm to it.  Just stop for a sec at each bit of punctuation.

Quote from: Enki v. 2.0 on April 03, 2010, 09:01:03 PM
He was, at some level, manufactured. All of them were these days, of course...

And another aye for 'purportedly' - it's a fine word.

I'm keeping my eye out for more fragments from you.  :)
It feels unreal because it's trickling up.

Jasper

I like this first bit. 

And even more, I like the idea of narrative fragments.  I see it as taking advantage of the true power of web media.  Little bursts of content, no walls of text, no need to spend too long.  Like Warren Ellis said in a note in the back of a Doktor Sleepless issue, web is not a replacement medium, it's another medium.  And literature needs new forms to take advantage of it.

This is pretty mittens, in other words.  I think I'd like to get in on doing some of these too.

Jasper

Added thought:

Seems to me that snippets like these are great for creating an evocative expression that lacks the constraints of conventional expressions.  The expression in the OP was that pwer is useless without knowledge and all that, but it was layered with context and meaning and nuance that you don't get with a prosaic explanation because it was set inside a narrative that contextualized the expression.  Simply put, this seems like a good way to inject meaningful undertones into an expression or point without spending a whole chapter building up to it.