It occurs to me that I keep dying, but I never leave a will. Let's fix that.
I, The Good Reverend Roger, being of sound mind and used-up body, hereby bequeath my possessions as follows:
To ECH, I leave my PM inbox full of PMs from various kooks, weirdos, and stalkers. The good stuff is from pages 1-5, as when I "strain" my PM inbox, I always keep the good stuff.
To Epimetheus, I leave my boundless hate, rage, and contempt, because God knows he needs it.
To LMNO, a certain video will be sent to you via email by my executor. You know the one.
To Nigel, I leave the entire city of Tucson, for use as she sees fit.
To Hoops, I leave my shares in Salazar Co™, and may they profit the bastard as much as they have profited me.
To Cain, I leave my collection of Roman history, Warren Ellis stuff, and Jonathan Hickman's The Nightly News.
To Stella, I leave my collection of horribly stained and shattered underwear. These will go for a FORTUNE on Ebay, if you tell people they belonged to L Ron Hubbard.
To Richter, I leave 2 more anvils, which will be mailed to you. And the church, in its entirety.
To Luna, I leave a blacksmith's mallet, which can be used as a correction device.
To Trip, I leave my extensive gun collection, in case the Germans start feeling frisky again.
To Waffle Iron, I leave my hair. All of it. Have it made into a Persian rug. Or a tapestry.
To Twid, I leave my engineer boots. You know what to do.
As for my mortal remains, I wish to have my appendix donated, and the rest burned down to carbon, mixed with iron, and made into a wrench that will be used to smite the unworthy. IN THE NADS.
Can I have your CD's?
Quote from: Forsooth on June 14, 2012, 03:13:45 PM
Can I have your CD's?
Yeah. SEE DEEEEEZ NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 03:16:06 PM
Quote from: Forsooth on June 14, 2012, 03:13:45 PM
Can I have your CD's?
Yeah. SEE DEEEEEZ NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!
I shall make a sandwich with them
And keep it on the mantle
Oh yes. I know what to do with the boots. I am honored.
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
I think I made out like a bandit here.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
Also, mallet, yay! I know JUST where to start...
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? SHE HAS 6 ARMS!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:08:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? SHE HAS 6 ARMS!
But you've got... um...
Shit...
Freeky to sneak up behind her, maybe?
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:12:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:08:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? SHE HAS 6 ARMS!
But you've got... um...
Shit...
Freeky to sneak up behind her, maybe?
Yeah, right. Freeky would trip me, Jenn would HELP, and all 3 of them would tapdance on my junk while EOT sat back and said
HEY
Roger
I
Told you so.
Thank you so much...the horribly stained and shattered underwear might fetch an even BIGGER price if I claim that they are still haunted by the spirit of L. Ron Hubbard. I imagine he really is there, even after laundering, in a faint, lingering sort of way.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:13:32 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:12:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:08:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? SHE HAS 6 ARMS!
But you've got... um...
Shit...
Freeky to sneak up behind her, maybe?
Yeah, right. Freeky would trip me, Jenn would HELP, and all 3 of them would tapdance on my junk while EOT sat back and said
HEY
Roger
I
Told you so.
When is this happening? I need to schedule a flight...
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:13:32 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:12:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:08:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? SHE HAS 6 ARMS!
But you've got... um...
Shit...
Freeky to sneak up behind her, maybe?
Yeah, right. Freeky would trip me, Jenn would HELP, and all 3 of them would tapdance on my junk while EOT sat back and said
HEY
Roger
I
Told you so.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:13:32 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:12:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:08:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? SHE HAS 6 ARMS!
But you've got... um...
Shit...
Freeky to sneak up behind her, maybe?
Yeah, right. Freeky would trip me, Jenn would HELP, and all 3 of them would tapdance on my junk while EOT sat back and said
HEY
Roger
I
Told you so.
Shut up, you know you like it.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on June 14, 2012, 08:20:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:13:32 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:12:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:08:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? SHE HAS 6 ARMS!
But you've got... um...
Shit...
Freeky to sneak up behind her, maybe?
Yeah, right. Freeky would trip me, Jenn would HELP, and all 3 of them would tapdance on my junk while EOT sat back and said
HEY
Roger
I
Told you so.
Shut up, you know you like it.
:banana:
Aww, thanks! I know exactly what to do with it!
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I'm going to need to figure out the export restrictions, obtain permits for possessing them, and start training on how the fuck to use them without killing myself.
Uh no wait, that's what YOU need to do, Waffle. Thought I had to deal with the backhair for a moment.
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 08:09:46 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:13:32 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:12:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 07:08:10 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 14, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 06:49:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 14, 2012, 05:18:31 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on June 14, 2012, 05:17:00 PM
Oh Tucson! What good times we will have!
E.O.T. and I have ideas about visiting Tucson sometime. Preferably when you're not dead.
Let me know in advance, and I'll check my obituary schedule.
:lol: It's a deal!
I just spat water on my phone. I dropped the phone awhile back, and am reading through a screen spiderwebbed with cracks. I read "It's a duel." The thought of TGRR and the Dark Empress engaged in a duel in the very heart of Tuscon made parts of my insides writhe with horror and glee.
DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY? SHE HAS 6 ARMS!
But you've got... um...
Shit...
Freeky to sneak up behind her, maybe?
Yeah, right. Freeky would trip me, Jenn would HELP, and all 3 of them would tapdance on my junk while EOT sat back and said
HEY
Roger
I
Told you so.
When is this happening? I need to schedule a flight...
Do not know yet... not this year, for sure! It might just be a pipe dream to think that I can remove E.O.T. from his home and children for any period of time.
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 14, 2012, 11:54:07 PM
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I'm going to need to figure out the export restrictions, obtain permits for possessing them, and start training on how the fuck to use them without killing myself.
Uh no wait, that's what YOU need to do, Waffle. Thought I had to deal with the backhair for a moment.
It will be well worth it. I'm going to look FAB in the coat I'm going to weave of his arse hair, and the armpit hair winter hat. and ( I hope it is included) the navel lint gloves.
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 15, 2012, 12:05:19 AM
It will be well worth it. I'm going to look FAB in the coat I'm going to weave of his arse hair,
Self-defense value greater than that of the guns.
HEY ROGER!
You have seemingly forgotten about that whole I get to be Rain Goddess when you are dead thing. :(
Quote from: Pixie on June 15, 2012, 12:30:56 AM
HEY ROGER!
You have seemingly forgotten about that whole I get to be Rain Goddess when you are dead thing. :(
Thought that was a given.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 15, 2012, 12:12:31 AM
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 15, 2012, 12:05:19 AM
It will be well worth it. I'm going to look FAB in the coat I'm going to weave of his arse hair,
Self-defense value greater than that of the guns.
Even better. I'm gonna need it to fight off the vicious Norwegian Lutefisk Gangs.
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 15, 2012, 12:05:19 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 14, 2012, 11:54:07 PM
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I'm going to need to figure out the export restrictions, obtain permits for possessing them, and start training on how the fuck to use them without killing myself.
Uh no wait, that's what YOU need to do, Waffle. Thought I had to deal with the backhair for a moment.
It will be well worth it. I'm going to look FAB in the coat I'm going to weave of his arse hair, and the armpit hair winter hat. and ( I hope it is included) the navel lint gloves.
You forgot the merkin woven from... well, that's obvious, isn't it?
Quote from: Luna on June 15, 2012, 04:46:31 PM
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 15, 2012, 12:05:19 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 14, 2012, 11:54:07 PM
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I'm going to need to figure out the export restrictions, obtain permits for possessing them, and start training on how the fuck to use them without killing myself.
Uh no wait, that's what YOU need to do, Waffle. Thought I had to deal with the backhair for a moment.
It will be well worth it. I'm going to look FAB in the coat I'm going to weave of his arse hair, and the armpit hair winter hat. and ( I hope it is included) the navel lint gloves.
You forgot the merkin woven from... well, that's obvious, isn't it?
Those eyebrows could boil the ocean. I wouldn't put them too close to anything you don't want to just...
disappear.
I appreciate it Rev...I mean, that's a shitload of stuff. I won't know what to do with it, though.
Probably end up keeping it in some Mason jars on a shelf in the shed.
Maybe bring it out for a little sprinkling on a meat loaf here and there.
Nothing too crazy, though...I mean, I wouldn't want to get myself in trouble or anything. :lulz:
Quote from: Luna on June 15, 2012, 04:46:31 PM
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 15, 2012, 12:05:19 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 14, 2012, 11:54:07 PM
Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I'm going to need to figure out the export restrictions, obtain permits for possessing them, and start training on how the fuck to use them without killing myself.
Uh no wait, that's what YOU need to do, Waffle. Thought I had to deal with the backhair for a moment.
It will be well worth it. I'm going to look FAB in the coat I'm going to weave of his arse hair, and the armpit hair winter hat. and ( I hope it is included) the navel lint gloves.
You forgot the merkin woven from... well, that's obvious, isn't it?
That's a given. One must protects one's netherlands. Especially when one speaks of oneself like this.