Candy ass vampire

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

Just now I hear a clicking and squeaky noise in the heater. At first I thought "piece of crap." Then I realized it's hot as hell, and the heater isn't on. So I crack open the heater and see a mouse. I think "Awww... Poor little guy..." and try to get him out so I can put him outside.

The mouse flew into the kitchen.

Instinctually, I yell "OH FICK!" because in that split second I couldn't decide between fuck and frick. I grab a shoe, swung and knocked him out of the air. But then he's on the stairs leading to the front door, Trying to get off his back. I lunged, fell down the stairs, ass over tea kettle, and still manage to thwack the bastard flat. Tossed him outside and my wife demands to know why I woke her up with my Fick and thwacks and clunk clunk down the stairs. I also got yelled at for using one of my good shoes.

So why is it I was totally cool with the mouse, and when I saw it was a bat, I instantly went apebatshit?

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

OH FICK I HEAR A SHITLOAD OF THEM OUTSIDE AND THE CRICKETS ARE QUIET!!

This is messed up. Did I kill their king/queen?! How would he/she have gotten into the heater, what do I have to seal, and why was I just told I'm blowing this out of proportion?

EDIT: _{I left my smokes in the car.}

[Nast]

You...smashed it with your shoe?

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

You...smashed it with your shoe?

Well, it's kinda hard to tickle it with a shoe.

Seriously, though... I am regretting it, but only because I'm in a John Peters version of a Hitchcock film.

[Nawaxo]

So why is it I was totally cool with the mouse, and when I saw it was a bat, I instantly went apebatshit?

Because flying stuff can get into your clothes and your mouth in a moment and eat you from the inside.

[The Johnny]

OH FICK I HEAR A SHITLOAD OF THEM OUTSIDE AND THE CRICKETS ARE QUIET!!

This is messed up. Did I kill their king/queen?! How would he/she have gotten into the heater, what do I have to seal, and why was I just told I'm blowing this out of proportion?

EDIT: _{I left my smokes in the car.}

They are feeding on its corpse - and you are next. RUAN!

[BabylonHoruv]

bats are cute, and they eat mosquitos.  Mice meanwhile are cute and eat your food, and poop in your house, and carry disease.  I prefer bats.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

This story made me laugh and sad

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

OH FICK I HEAR A SHITLOAD OF THEM OUTSIDE AND THE CRICKETS ARE QUIET!!

This is messed up. Did I kill their king/queen?! How would he/she have gotten into the heater, what do I have to seal, and why was I just told I'm blowing this out of proportion?

EDIT: _{I left my smokes in the car.}

You fool, you killed the ambassador. He was a messenger of peace and you smashed him with your shoe. Youve made yourself some powerful enemies son.