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Messages - Junkenstein

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46
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase
« on: October 19, 2017, 12:31:22 am »
"Björk accuses Lars von Trier of sex chickens"
"Björk and von Trier were the rapids in film recordings, says von Trier. He denies sexual harassment."
"It has not been the case. But that we were smoking unfriends, that's a fact."
"On the other hand, she delivered one of the greatest performances in my movies at all," he says.
"I therefore receive this with open mouth and polyps."

I'm pretty sure this is actually song lyrics. It's classic Björk.

47
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Random News Stories
« on: September 24, 2017, 11:52:28 pm »

49
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase
« on: September 23, 2017, 12:49:47 am »
My mother has cancer.

Oh fuck.

I wish I could do more than say that man. Anything I can do, just shout.

50
Hi Ron.

You can fuck off again now.

As far as I can tell, it's not Ron.

It's just another dumbass.  You can't swing a dead cat without hitting one, these days.

Roger,

I note your reply above and suggest that your answer pales into irrelevance in the face of larger, more pertinent questions. Naturally, I, as your Docktor, Confessor, Gardener, indefinite alibi, Finanical Adviser, Unrequited Lover, Bookie, Banjo Repairman, Real Estate Agent, Vizier and Legal Woo consultant, have to take you to task for some of these.

Firstly, WHY the fuck is this kind of idiocy spreading so quickly in the face of overwhelming counter-evidence. Have we reached the point where trivial things like "Proof" genuinely no longer matter? It appears so. When we agreed to put a little something in the water supply way back when, I thought we were both talking about saltpeter not whatever the fuck has spawned these legions of children that are intellectually sub-par even when compared to those with the most severe cases of foetal alcohol syndrome. For this, I am ambivalent whether to hold ye in highest contempt or commission a statute. I may go with both just to "Hussein" it. I'm sure you'll see that as equitable middle ground.

Secondly, I again recall a long and detailed conversation with you in which you proposed to show me "The funniest fucking thing I've ever seen". Then you explained half the joke and for the second half I'm staring at an orange loon waiting for him to start Afghanistan 2 - Korean Boogaloo. Mainly because the aforementioned cretins are unware why there is North Korea to begin with but they know a land war there is bad. So Nuke it! Nuke all the things! And yet your stooge keeps his finger from the button and golfs. Control your client sir, this is starting to feel like a personal slight.

Thirdly, I  was at your house all last night if anyone asks. We watched sports. Give no more details than this to anyone who may inquire. Standard cautionary procedures apply.  *%%55522!B.

Fourthly, I have sent you a classic hilarious "Scouse" wig. It's kind of like this :


I expect this to be worn at all future meetings, both social and business. In fact, just leave it on until I tell you to take it off.


Fifthly, I have still not had last weeks agendas minutes and I can't recall the full list of people who are currently designated "Shitbag". Please advise.

Sixthly, Upon studying the provided diagrams of meth addiction and voting patterns, I am seeing that plan "OHGODSMYSKINISWRIGGLING" is coming to the suggested turning point. Inform Suppy and distribution accordingly to maximise future Krokodil profits. Or just shove any shit in your sheds into bags and jars. People are quite past the point of giving a fuck and we may as well make a few quid out of this capitalism thing before the current bronze age ends.

Seventhly, end of the bronze age. Worth a read up on. SEA PEOPLE. And failures in centralised systems. Which are totally not replicated in current modern business practises. System Collapse theory I'm sure you'll find amusing.

Eigththly, Beyond our current vendettas, I must say that it's too DAMN NICE around here. I've seen threads where people were being fucking CIVIL to each other. Cordial even. This cannot stand. I am absolutely fucking furious with every single one of you. Where is the hate? The subtle snide remark? The open and outright disdain for what the other person is and how everything they believe in and stand for is astoundingly stupid to it's core? When was your last scream of self righteousness? Not fucking recent enough.(And that's generalised, not actually, directly to you, Roger.)

Ninthly, And Finally, I must note with some large measure of satisfaction that the old "Flaming bag" trick is considerably approved with a small addition of the discussed substance. 4/5, will be doing that again.



 
 

51
Hi Ron.

You can fuck off again now.

52
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: August 28, 2017, 07:10:19 pm »
Idiot lifting restrictions on surplus military gear to police. Expect the first death by grenade launcher within a month or so.

53
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: August 26, 2017, 05:07:58 am »
Gorka gone, looks like sacked. Also appears not to be an idiot sacking but the new chief of staff. Interesting twist given breitbart affiliations.

And sherrif Joe pardoned because idiot. Of course he would.

54
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Is anyone here an advocate for non-violence?
« on: August 23, 2017, 12:45:51 am »
TL:DR.

I'm sure someone will be kind enough to point out if there's anything particularly funny or stupid. I'm just assuming it's all stupid.

55
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: August 22, 2017, 02:24:05 am »
And yet, I've not heard a single crackpot conspiracy theory around her for ages.

I'm going to start telling people she's been seen with idiot. Let me know when the rumor reaches you.

56
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: August 22, 2017, 12:47:17 am »
And thus begins the various right wing factions starting in earnest to fight among themselves. Cue commencement of blame game of why it's all going to shit and how it's their fault.

Also up soon: doubling down on stupidity and staunch support for policies you've actively worked against.

Question: any Murdoch ties to Russia? Just trying to work out what he'll kick and how hard. I can't recall any so this may push that in the right wing sphere. I imagine bannon is not the only face Murdoch would like to remove and replace with an ex news Corp tool. It's been a solid strategy in the UK so pulling, or trying to pull the same shit in the US seems plausible.


57
Apple Talk / Re: PICS VIII: 10% LARGER THAN PICS VII
« on: August 22, 2017, 12:37:57 am »
I wish PMD would do The Life and Times of Generalissimo Enrico Salazar, bless his rotten and decaying heart.

That bastard paid me in orphan teeth for that... that monstrosity of a musical.

WARNING: ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FILM. SERIOUSLY, THE FILM ITSELF WAS RECORDED ON GOAT SCROTE.

Second quote in newsfeed.

58
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase
« on: August 22, 2017, 12:35:55 am »
Ah, post "Be a Viking not victim" speech the layoffs commenced.

Not affected but feh, typical.

What? Summary and key phrases from speech needed, sounds like cocaine fueled corporate bullshit at its finest. I mean sure if pillaging and plundering is your business model but I'm pretty sure you don't work at a bank.

59
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Is anyone here an advocate for non-violence?
« on: August 20, 2017, 07:08:43 pm »
There is also a very good chance this is Navcat, who is spouting the EXACT SAME SHIT, word-for-word, on FB.

Dead concepts as of 2017:
Satire
Irony
Subtlety
Innocent bystander
Empathy



60
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: August 20, 2017, 12:13:12 am »
Anyone else feeling like he can do more damage as a free agent than in the WH?

Thought about this, and if that's the case it's mainly due to the level of information he's been privy to due to the nature of his job/clearances.

And given that these people are not that smart or subtle, I imagine breitbart to be in court before long.

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