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Man fails (lyrics horrible as hell)

Started by Reeducation, June 10, 2010, 01:41:43 PM

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AFK

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on June 10, 2010, 09:13:02 PM
Also - stay away from obvious taboos (racism, sexism, homophobia, puns ... etc) until we get to know you a bit better. There's a reason an established poster can get away with calling another one "gay" (for example) and get away with it where a new member (or one who doesn't post much) would spark outrage. It's to do with knowing the person well enough to know it's a joke and, even then, misunderstandings happen from time to time.

That's right, I don't need anyone musselin in on my territory!
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: Reeducation on June 10, 2010, 10:10:44 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on June 10, 2010, 09:13:02 PM
Also - stay away from obvious taboos (racism, sexism, homophobia, puns ... etc) until we get to know you a bit better. There's a reason an established poster can get away with calling another one "gay" (for example) and get away with it where a new member (or one who doesn't post much) would spark outrage. It's to do with knowing the person well enough to know it's a joke and, even then, misunderstandings happen from time to time.


Yeah I get that and I'll try to keep all that in mind. I don't know what was going on in my head when I posted.
It was like : "post it, no don't post it, post now, no, yes, no, POST!" and there it went.

If you're ambivalent about posting, take an extra couple of minutes and reread what you wrote, and see if you can figure out why you're reluctant to post it. If you can find it, work it out. Also, the more you write in English, the better you'll get at it. I think Pent, LMNO and Nigel have some pretty sound advice here.

Good luck, I'll keep the Finglish in mind in your future posts.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: RWHN on June 10, 2010, 08:03:02 PM
Well, the HIM joke isn't even accurate.  HIM mostly appeals to teenage girls and the teenage boys who want to get into the pants of said teenage girls.  And both have horrible taste because HIM is an awful, awful band.  

Oh, funny. I thought HIM referred to the Powerpuff Girls character.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Reeducation on June 10, 2010, 08:46:39 PM
Finnish. Just listen to any finnish person when they're speaking in english. It's horrible. Finglish they call it.


btw

Understanding the english language is easy, but my writing just does not want to go to any higher level. No idea why. :? But I'm not giving up, so sorry in advance but you will read more of my shitty writing here in the future.

After a couple of months, that is.



Yeah, definitely don't give up. Keep on doing it, and working to make it what you want it to be.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


AFK

Quote from: Nigel on June 12, 2010, 04:30:06 AM
Quote from: RWHN on June 10, 2010, 08:03:02 PM
Well, the HIM joke isn't even accurate.  HIM mostly appeals to teenage girls and the teenage boys who want to get into the pants of said teenage girls.  And both have horrible taste because HIM is an awful, awful band.  

Oh, funny. I thought HIM referred to the Powerpuff Girls character.

HIM is metal for people who want to be metal without actually listening to metal. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Nephew Twiddleton

Quote from: RWHN on June 14, 2010, 01:32:12 PM
Quote from: Nigel on June 12, 2010, 04:30:06 AM
Quote from: RWHN on June 10, 2010, 08:03:02 PM
Well, the HIM joke isn't even accurate.  HIM mostly appeals to teenage girls and the teenage boys who want to get into the pants of said teenage girls.  And both have horrible taste because HIM is an awful, awful band.  

Oh, funny. I thought HIM referred to the Powerpuff Girls character.

HIM is metal for people who want to be metal without actually listening to metal. 

Yeah, I have some friends that grew out of that. HIM writes "love metal" and has a "heartagram" as their logo.
Not metal at all. It's like if the cast of Twilight decided to form a band and say it was metal.


Are they even still around? Or have they gone on to write "apathy metal"
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Herbertina Merrique V



Ahem. On a more serious note: yeah, the text itself was pretty lame, just the same old thing about a dying planet and blah blah angst. But your sentences are mostly correct, and I don't think your writing is bad at all when you don't try too hard - it's always a lot easier to crack a witty joke in your native tongue, and humour is one of the hardest things to master in a language, so it will take some practice. I think it's a common reason for misunderstandings with new people here.

I'd say you just need to check your posts a few times and try to be clearer with what you're saying, until you're pretty sure others will get your point and know if you're joking. Keep writing and reading, just don't use too complicated structures, sarcasm or weird references until you get more of the nuances in the English language, as well as how things like idioms differ from the Finnish ones.

Ja hauskaa krapulastaselviämistä. :P

THE MORALE WILL CONTINUE UNTIL DISCORDIANS IMPROVE

Ask me anything. Or else.

Nephew Twiddleton

#22
Two things I noticed:
"Oh, yes you're!" Should be "Oh, yes you are." Ending a sentence with a contraction is a little awkward. I'm, you're, he's, etc... usually goes at the beginning of a thought.
For example:

You're going to be out of town next week, right?
Yes, I am, but only for one day.

However you could also respond with:
I'm going to be gone, but just for a day.

The other thing, which is minor, "too much of heroin"-- the of is unnecessary. "Too much heroin" is the correct phrasing.

Otherwise, good sentence structure and idea expression.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS