ITT: Best Posts of the Day

[LMNO]

Jaime, Alex, Tiffany and 7 more of your friends like VIOLENT REVOLUTION.

But are NOT ATTENDING.

[Telarus]

 

[LMNO]

I'll attempt to reply to everyone who didn't throw ad hominem (abusive and association fallacy) 

Shut up you fucking piece of dumbass shit infected toenail scrapings, I don't want to hear another WORD from your pathetic excuse for a voicehole except for a very clear piece by piece ESSAY on why that "bell curve" remark of you was absolutely the most dumbest thing EVER.

I don't give a flying fuck about your alcohol problems, if you think you shouldn't have written that explain us WORD for fucking WORD why it was wrong. None of that "uhh alcohol ooh uhhh" bullshit excuses.

Just do your own fucking research for a change, you idiot.

I don't understand it, but it's made me laugh every time I've seen it today. 

Link to the original thread?  Is it in the bar somewhere?

NO YOU MISSHAPEN TURD FAILURE

YOU GET NO FUN UNTIL YOU DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK

1. ESSAY ON BELL CURVE AND HOW IT APPLIES TO INCOME DISTRIBUTION
2. CAT PENIS
3. ????
4. EAT 5 TONNES OF PICKLES, DIE FROM STOMACH BURN

Good Luck!

[Cramulus]

Last night I shouted "Maggie Thatcher" at Payne to slow down his release of fluids. I did it too late and he was mid cum-face. Not sure if sinful or epic.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The legislator's office would be a better place to leave the anarchists.

[Jenne]

If TGRR was a furry, he would be a giraffe and he would braid his ass hair into a tail.

If Kai was a furry, you'd totally get eaten in the yiff pile.

If Twid was a furry, he'd be a leprechaun. A gay leprechaun.

If Hustle was a furry, he'd accidentally the whole atlantic with supra-whale semen.

If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

If Coyote was a furry, he'd call himself Man. He's an enigma like that.

If Charley was a furry, he'd probably be quite good at it.

If Cram was afurry, he'd wear a fake fursuit.

If TTM was a furry, he'd be illegal in all 50 states, not just the lower 48.

if AKK was a furry, he'd be an alley cat and he'd have a record deal by now.

If Aini was a furry she'd be a black swan. No wait, she'd be a cat or neko or whatever the fuck it was.

If Anna Mae Bollocks was a furry, people would begin to wish Dubya was still president.

If BadBeast was a furry, he could stop being the Beast of Bodmin for a while and let someone else have a go.

If Paes was a furry, he would be bred into the natural sheep population of New Zealand to form slightly less boring sheep.

IF BGP WAS A FURRY IT WOULD BE MOST UNHELLO, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOO

If Cain was a furry he'd be the horse from Animal Farm.

If Cainad was a furry, he'd be sniffing the glue they made out of Cain.

If cavehamster was a furry, I'd think he was a pretty cool furry. He'd run in wheels and doesn’t afraid of anything.

If chef was a furry, he would advise people to bring a baggie for their fangs, and he'd BE the teddy for their ghetto shrine.

if Cuddlefish was a furry, his name would be a verb.

If Da6s was a furry, he would be worshipped in backwater hamlets all through the Pennines.

If Dalek was a furry, the party in his pance would migrate all through his fursuit, and he'd die within seconds.

If Darth Cupcake was a furry, she'd still be gone

If Demolition_Squid was a furry, everyone else would be forced to go the level beyond furry to ostracise him.

If Disco Pickle was a furry, he'd have to be wolf. No funny reason. He'd just be a wolf. An asshole wolf. Asshole.

If Dok Howl was a furry, he'd immediately construct an upgraded exoskeleton and fuck the biggest thing he could find to death.

If Phox was a furry, she'd have to wear a human face. Being human IS furry to her.

If James Semaj was a furry, he'd be a complete C.Woc

If E.O.T. was a furry, there would be no point to it anymore. The world would automatically suicide via vulcanism.

If EoC was a furry, people would just assume that things had gone very very wrong in the circus as Clown Eating Hate Sex became all the rage.

If Efrim was a furry, he'd still be a bad ass hippy.

If Emo Howard was a furry, he'd be Eeyore.

If Enki was a furry, we'd have to send him back in time to properly inspire The Epic of Gilgamesh

If Enrico was a furry, people would hardly be able to tell the difference.

If Faust was a furry, he'd be a gay leprechaun too. He'd be a top though.

If GIGGLES was a furry, he'd be a swarm of angry hornets flying in phallus formation.

If Hoopla was a furry, no matter what kind, people would mistake him for a Koala.

If Hunter S. Durden was a furry, he'd be a rabid battle llama.

If Iason was a furry, Indiana would commemorate the most exciting thing to happen to their state ever with a public holiday.

If Iptuous was a furry, he'd win best dog in show at crufts for the rest of his unnatural disgusting life.

If Jenne was a furry, all of PD would go to jail for very long time. We wouldn't be able to help ourselves.

If Joh'Nyx was a furry, he'd be a toy poodle.

If Khara was a furry, she'd be composed mostly of alluring, lingerie clad tentacles.

If Leln was a furry, she'd never leave the house again.

If LMNO was a furry, he'd.... Wait? IF?

If Madigan T Nubilous was a furry, he would fap so hard it'd make people think of Noahs Ark, where Noah just fed them Viagra instead of food.

If Nast was a furry, he'd be.... uh.... A MOUSE.

If Navkat was a furry she'd fucking everybody. In a good way though.

If Nigel was a furry, people would call it art and everyone was really a furry would have to go do something else.

If NoLeDeMiel was a furry, it might make people notice him more.

If P3nT was a furry, Falkirk would be declared a disaster area. It is anyway, but it'd be official

If Pixie was a furry, I'd totally be a furry too. I'd probably have no choice at all in the matter mind you.

If Pterodactyl Handler was a furry, he'd be redundant.

If Regret was a furry, he'd only join in to snake yiff piles.

If Remington was a furry, it would cause a brief news sensation in North Korea.

If Richter was a furry, he'd be a rancor.

If RWHN was a furry, people would pet him but he'd never get any.

If Freeky was a furry, people would merely blame Tucson and shake their head. She could get away with murder with that excuse yanno.

If GARBO was a furry, she'd be a furry handcuffs.

If Sepia was a furry, he'd be an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters.

If ShoeEars was a furry, he/she couldn't have asked for better advice than getting Roger to do his/her personals ad.

If Squiddy was a furry, she'd probably get confused for her cat and be driven mad by people saying SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PENIS

If SisterFracture was a furry, she'd bend yuor space/time. Again.

If Suu was a furry she'd accidentally herself among the mothballs.

If Telarus was a furry, no one would take it seriously.

If That Green Gentleman was a furry, she'd be the Cat with the Hatchet

If The Wisdom Cube was a furry, it's Other Fursuit would be a Porsche.

If Triple Zero was a furry, you'd be choking on tribble cum dribble by lunchtime.

If Fred was a Furry, she'd be released by a madman who would then kill himself and she'd go on a rampage with her exotic friends until taken down by the cops.

[Kai]

OMG YOU JUST REINVENTED THE RED QUEEN HYPOTHESIS

I WILL NOT BOTHER TO LOOK THAT UP, BUT I WILL CALL MY BRILLIANT NEW HYPOTHESIS "THE NIGEL SPECULATION" AND GET IT PUBLISHED. MAYBE IF I THROW IN SOME MISOGYNY NATURE WILL TAKE IT.

[Reginald Ret]

Back to the OP - yeah, definitely true.  The "changing of context" totally blows away your short term memory.

One thing that I've tried is pausing and sticking my arm through the doorway to bridge the space between the two room before walking through.  Doing Room A => Room A & B => Room B seems less jarring that just going to Room B cold turkey.

yes.
as the workplace is a context where short term memory is of vital importance, i make it a habit of pantomiming that i'm slowly pushing my way through a gelatinous barrier whenever i walk through a door.
it seems to work well in any context, as i have successfully employed this technique at each of the 14 workplaces i've had this past year.

[Suu]

HOW THE FUCK DOES FILTHY ASSISTANT STILL HAVE A JOB?!

Because this isn't a job, Suu, it's an afterlife.  MY afterlife. 

Because I was bad.

That makes a remarkable amount of sense, from what you've told us.

Yeah, well, it turns out you CAN communicate from the afterlife, but you aren't allowed to call a lawyer.

But's okay, really.  They make pretty good benzos in the afterlife, and I can just sit here and feel my bones melt and my bits sag, and tell you folks all about it.  Because misery loves company, and all these Tucsonans are already my company, as the cops stand around looking ill and the EMTs are smoking cigarettes and waiting for the wrecker.  We're having a ball, really, it's one hell of a party, and we don't go near the storm drains, no. 

Because Jesus don't save the guys in The City of Tucson. 

And one day, your grandchildren's grandchildren will log onto what will then be the current version of PD, and I'll tell them stories of The City, and feel better for a little while.

[LMNO]

Punk can't be catalogued in "Top ten" lists. Or judged on musical merit. It's not a "Scene",or a "Sound". It's not a "Cultural Phenomena" or a "Movement". It's not marketable, saleable, or contrived. It's not a "Look", or a fucking fashion statement. It's not Political, nor is it defined by Class, wealth, or position. Punk is an Attitude.

< attitude:  "A position assumed for a specific purpose" >
< A mental position regarding a certain stimulus or state>
<Etym. From the Latin, "aptitudin" meaning "fit for it's particular function">

When Marv was electrocuted, and he looked up after the first attempt to fry him, spat, laughed, and said "Is that all you've got"? That was punk as fuck.
It doesn't matter that Marv is a fictional comic book character, it's about the attitude.

George Galloway had it when stood up and told the American Congress, on oath, to their faces, in Washington, that they were all full of shit
regarding Iraq.

Abe Meerul was punk as fuck when he penned "Strange Fruit", as was Billie Holliday when she fought so hard to find a Record Company with the Balls to let her record it.
Rosa Parks was punk as all buggary fuck when she refused to give up her seat on the Bus to Massa Whitey.

Quentin Crisp was punk as fuck when he decided at about 7 years old, that he loved pouffing about the house in his Mother's skirts and high heels, and that the World had just better get used to the fact he "wasn't like other boys".

George Michael was not punk as fuck when, after being caught trying to cottage a Policeman for a bit of hot cock action in a public toilet, to then finally "out" himself and say, "I'm Gay, so what?"  Thereby missing the whole point. No George! No-one gives a fuck that you're Gay. What the fuss is about, is that it's fucking sleazy, seedy, and not really acceptable for Multi-Millionaire Pop stars to Troll around Public Lavatories in order to indulge their secret penchant for a quick Dirty Sanchez with Village People Cop Guy. And then for not even thinking that it might perhaps be a real Cop? That's dumb as fuck, seedy as fuck, embarrassing as fuck. But certainly not punk as fuck.

And Jello Biafra. He is still punk as fuck, in all the ways that John Lydon never was, and never could be. Just compare the contrived, sneery whine of "Holiday in the Sun", to the raw, visceral power of "Holiday in Cambodia". One of those tracks is as Punk as it's fucking possible to get. The other defines the whole Genre of "Punk Rock", and it's about as "Punk" as the steam on my shit.   

Cassius Clay was punk as fuck when he refused to fight in Vietnam, and got stripped of his World title, and thrown in Jail. I can count the number of fucks he didn't give on the fingers of one arse cheek. He just said "Fuck y'all". Did his bird, then came back out, and got his fucking title back. That's punk as fuck.

Attitude and conviction. If you haven't got them both, you might be able to wing your way by in a tight spot with a bit of bluff. But attitude is worthless without conviction. And conviction is impotent without attitude. Ali, even in his Draft case, was never accused of Cowardice by the prosecution. Not even they had the brass neck to suggest that. He was a true giant of a Man. He never ran from a fight in his life. But hey, No Vietcong ever called him "Nigger". He had the attitude. And he had the conviction. Add his natural charisma, and you can't beat a man with a combination like that. And they never did. Punk as fuck.

Tyson had the attitude. But no conviction. And very little charisma. So he was always someone's Bitch. Someone was always Banking from him. Don King, his Women, whether Wives or Whores. His Lawyers, the Tabloids, they all had a good chew on him.

Anyway, I'm done. All I have to finish on is the statement that never, at any point in their career, or by any stretch of the most vivid imagination imaginable, did Green Day ever even get a sniff of what it it was to be "punk as fuck" . 

   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This cold has gotten out of hand.

Fucking fever now, and I feel like I'm breathing through a wet sponge.

I'm actually surprised that disease is capable of surviving in such an inhospitable wasteland.

And I don't mean Tucson.

[Triple Zero]

For being an awesome story that should be saved for the generations:

I was walking past a Charity shop earlier today, and something caught my eye. So I went in, and found this  golden apple on a shelf by the window. "Sweet" I thought. Looked at the price, and it was only £1.50.
So I picked it up, and went to the cash desk to buy it.  



There's this old woman in front of me, buying about twenty woollen hats for her rabble of Grandchildren at Christmas. And she's going "And this one's for our Danny, because he's got a scarf that colour, the green one's for our Sheila's oldest, Zacky, he's got a big fat head . . . . .  " and just went rattling on and on. The Woman serving her was even older. She must have been about 160 yrs old, and was having Tech issues with the Till. "I can't remember what I pressed now Dais," She said.

Then she started adding up the figures on paper and like, I'm in a hurry. But I'm nothing if not the very epitome of helpful patience, so I stopped glowering at the back of the first old bag's head, and asked the technically challenged Cashier if maybe giving the Till "A bit of a Bang" with something heavy might help.

Oooh, no" She said. "I shul prolly get saack if I starts banging sruff about, . .   . . . Again".    She laughed. The good natured, but slightly cracked laugh of a far younger Woman  
"S OK moi Luvver, nurly done"
So I smile at her, but my mind is screaming "Get a fucking move on you useless old Cow".
She took the Apple, and said "Sorry to keep you waitin' love, but but Daisy dún't half go on"

"Don't bother yourself" I said.  "It's not like I'm in a hurry or anything" I lied.
"It's a bit scratched on the bottom there" she pointed out a tiny fleck of of that had come off.gilding. "Doesn't matter" I said. "Whenever I see a Golden Apple, I just have to buy it".
She cocked her wizened head to the side for a second, and said "Oh, I understand, I'm just the same myself."                                  Then she gave me my change, and handed me the bag,

with the Apple in it. And here's the bit that  totally blew me away.
As she handed it over, she leaned in close and said "Hail Eris"
My jaw hit yhe floor.But I managed a quick "All Hail Discordiq"  response in as I  left.

Wow.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Yeah, that was dope.

[Cramulus]

line breaks

concentrate attention

& suggest

profundity

My grocery list didn't look profound. 

It doesn't?

Huh.  Must be doin' it wrong.

[LMNO]

Local and, to an extent, state politics are areas where petitions, protests etc can have some traction and noticeable effect.  I won't deny that.  I actually encourage voting in local/city/county council elections, and you know how I feel about voting in national elections.  You can actually get the potholes fixed.

However, if you petitioned the Federal government to fix your potholes, it would either a) make more potholes, citing "economic necessity, or b) send in no-bid contractors to fix the potholes, flanked by Blackwater mercenaries, who would then shoot up a school bus and set a puppy on fire, while the actual repairs would take three times as long, cost over four times what the original estimates suggested, use dummy corporations as third party contractors to embezzle money and then hire some local company at 10% of what they were given to do the job anyway.

Thats how the Feds roll, yo.