HAY BITCHES! DOES YOUR CUNT STINK?

[P3nT4gR4m]

so I learned a new word today I always thought that "douche bag" was a shower cap or something

It can be.

True story: I actually spat beer over my french hostess when she explained to me where the shower was

[Luna]

Of course, there wasn't a pint there when it was all over.

No, but there was the twisted remains of my skillet.

Holy shit.

I thought I was not safe in the kitchen.  (I have improved, and can feed myself without setting off the smoke alarm, and can do bacon just the way I like it, and well enough that the spags at the Meatup weekend disappeared six pounds of it, but I used to be terrified of the stove.)

[Triple Zero]

really? cause your breakfast was awesome good!!

[Luna]

really? cause your breakfast was awesome good!!

Thanks!  Yes, really.  Grandma taught me to do french toast, and I figured out bacon...  Them, I can do half asleep.  Pancakes?  Asking for trouble?  Waffles?  Likely a fire.  If I stick to what I'm comfortable with, I can pretend I know what I'm doing.  Outside of that, I panic.

[P3nT4gR4m]

There's nothing to figure out with bacon. Anywhere from raw to burnt to a fucking sliver of charcoal it tastes amazing. It's easier than museli

[Suu]

so I learned a new word today I always thought that "douche bag" was a shower cap or something

It can be.

It's probably one of my favorite words in the English language. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

so I learned a new word today I always thought that "douche bag" was a shower cap or something

It can be.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

On a similar note, scum bag was once slang for a condom.

I thought it still was? When I call somebody a scumbag, I always mean a used rubber. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yes.  That's why I used a pint.  And all I did was make the stove more efficient, by allowing it to pull more amps, so we don't have to wait all day for water to boil.

Chinese restaurant stoves are supposed to get a lot hotter than regular stoves, they have more BTU's or something. That's why home beef & broccoli never comes out like Chinese restaurant beef and broccoli, you can't get the heat at home to cook it as fast.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for what you do with this information. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

so I learned a new word today I always thought that "douche bag" was a shower cap or something

It can be.

True story: I actually spat beer over my french hostess when she explained to me where the shower was

Where was it?

[Freeky]

Dok, it is fair to say that I never told you how much is some.  True.  But a whole pint?    And then the fire, my god, I don't think I've seen a kitchen fire start out with a white and blue flame...

"Some".

And I don't know how it got that hot.  One minute, I was backpedaling away from the spitting grease (note to self:  Do not cook with grease if you have no shirt on), and the next it was "FWOOSH".

AND I replaced your skillet AND the ceiling, so I don't see why I can't have another chance.

You DID have another chance.  We allowed you to try ramen under strict supervision.  And then, well, you remember what happened.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, MISTER??

For those of you watching, Dok at some point this evening tried to cook sausage.  I just got done with damage control.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

[Doktor Howl]

[Doktor Howl]

Dok, it is fair to say that I never told you how much is some.  True.  But a whole pint?    And then the fire, my god, I don't think I've seen a kitchen fire start out with a white and blue flame...

"Some".

And I don't know how it got that hot.  One minute, I was backpedaling away from the spitting grease (note to self:  Do not cook with grease if you have no shirt on), and the next it was "FWOOSH".

AND I replaced your skillet AND the ceiling, so I don't see why I can't have another chance.

You DID have another chance.  We allowed you to try ramen under strict supervision.  And then, well, you remember what happened.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, MISTER??

For those of you watching, Dok at some point this evening tried to cook sausage.  I just got done with damage control.

It's not my fault.

[Freeky]

Then why have you locked yourself in the Jeep, and why was the sink on fire?