Open Bar: Arguments About Turtles, All the Way Down

[Suu]

Husband deployed today. His first prank was replacing my Kindle with a box of drywall screws in my backpack. Good thing I didn't need it for class.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I got some of Nigel's favorite unsolicited advice yesterday. I was joking about the time I was gifted a pair of boxers that didn't have a crotch hole, which I didn't know until I wore them out drinking, confusedly fumbling around to find the opening while half in the bag.

Immediately I get a chorus of "Why don't you cut an opening for them?" And "Why not just pull them down and go up and over?"

GOOD IDEA FUCKSTICKS, GUESS I CAN STOP SIMPLY URINATING MYSELF NOW. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Husband deployed today. His first prank was replacing my Kindle with a box of drywall screws in my backpack. Good thing I didn't need it for class.

Anybody messes with my school backpack and they are cut off forever.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I got some of Nigel's favorite unsolicited advice yesterday. I was joking about the time I was gifted a pair of boxers that didn't have a crotch hole, which I didn't know until I wore them out drinking, confusedly fumbling around to find the opening while half in the bag.

Immediately I get a chorus of "Why don't you cut an opening for them?" And "Why not just pull them down and go up and over?"

GOOD IDEA FUCKSTICKS, GUESS I CAN STOP SIMPLY URINATING MYSELF NOW. 

I can't stop thinking of the profound level of Bad Idea cutting a pee-hole in your underwear while wearing them, intoxicated, is.

[Eater of Clowns]

I got some of Nigel's favorite unsolicited advice yesterday. I was joking about the time I was gifted a pair of boxers that didn't have a crotch hole, which I didn't know until I wore them out drinking, confusedly fumbling around to find the opening while half in the bag.

Immediately I get a chorus of "Why don't you cut an opening for them?" And "Why not just pull them down and go up and over?"

GOOD IDEA FUCKSTICKS, GUESS I CAN STOP SIMPLY URINATING MYSELF NOW. 

I can't stop thinking of the profound level of Bad Idea cutting a pee-hole in your underwear while wearing them, intoxicated, is.

In their defense, they assumed it'd be from the inside out, as it's well known in my circles that my organ is both barbed and prehensile.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I got some of Nigel's favorite unsolicited advice yesterday. I was joking about the time I was gifted a pair of boxers that didn't have a crotch hole, which I didn't know until I wore them out drinking, confusedly fumbling around to find the opening while half in the bag.

Immediately I get a chorus of "Why don't you cut an opening for them?" And "Why not just pull them down and go up and over?"

GOOD IDEA FUCKSTICKS, GUESS I CAN STOP SIMPLY URINATING MYSELF NOW. 

I can't stop thinking of the profound level of Bad Idea cutting a pee-hole in your underwear while wearing them, intoxicated, is.

In their defense, they assumed it'd be from the inside out, as it's well known in my circles that my organ is both barbed and prehensile.

[The Wizard Joseph]

GODDAMNIT! Several first shift call outs... again. We've had a crew of three all morning. Gonna be hell trying to get stuff I won't have to upset folks in the hospital again. And again. It's like I can perform 100 minor miracles and only the times I can't come through get remembered.   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm having that "pecked to death by ducks" feeling.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Somehow I have been handed the role of social organizer for my friend who is in town. One of my friends is freaking out and wants to talk to me because her 23-year-old son isn't close to her anymore. Another of my friends is messaging me because he's having conflicts with his mom. Yet another keeps trying to talk me about Ingress. My daughter is refusing to go to her father's house and is being really needy. And last night on Facebook, one of my old friends I don't really hang out with anymore accused me of playing "the race card" because I pointed out the irony of a headline about someone getting mugged in a newly-gentrified neighborhood where formerly even STABBINGS didn't make the news.

WTF, dude.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh and one of my friends just messaged me an article link and was like "There's something amusing hidden in this!" and I was like, "can you tell me what it is,  or do you actually expect me to stop what I'm doing to read it and try to figure out what's supposed to be funny?"

Seriously, jerks. The fact that you have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD is not reflective of everyone else's reality.

[LMNO]

Quick! Somebody offer unsolicited advice!

Have you tried rebooting your friends?

[Chelagoras The Boulder]

Have you tried jerking on and off again?

[Cain]

Everything tech support does to try and fix my computer is progressively breaking it even more.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

I'm now doing a system restore to a previous (if still broken) state, because the last piece of advice they gave me made it so my computer wont detect my mouse.

[minuspace]

Just volleyed a fly on the upswing and then smashed it with my sword brush.  Ippon!

[Suu]

So.

As is tradition with deployments, apparently, something always breaks. My computer is  just about dead. I got permission last night to order a new one from TigerDirect, so that's on the way.

I can't determine if I want a nap or to do chores right now. Blah. Tomorrow I see the podiatrist about my ankle, and Thursday I start physical therapy. I'm glad I got a damn car, this is going to suck balls.