The Path of Chaos: Two

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

The Path of Chaos: Part Two

1
Shamans, witches, walkers, psychics, heretics? These are the motivators of real human freedom and growth. They wear many masks but are not fooled. They are often burned, however.

2
Psychos, politicians, murderers, settlers, dominators? These are the creators of real human slavery and degradation. They wear many masks and often fool themselves into believing as much as they fool others. They seem to enjoy burning those who won??t be fooled.

3
Long, miserable, and boring is the night to the one who doesn??t laugh. Long is the distance of a mile to the unawakened one. Long is the circle and cycle of miserable rebirths to the fool who does not know laughter.  Truly, the unawakened are heavy, miserable, and boring. Such people need the great tickle.

4
The unwise, the Grayfaces, fools who are even afraid to laugh at themselves, go about committing atrocities in the name of order, thus making the world more bitter and humorless. Truly, this humorless game has gone on long enough.

5
There is happiness and laughter to the apostle who associates with a wise friend. Failing to find this, it is best to remember the ancient proverb ?¨We discordians shall stick apart.?Æ

6
Do not keep company with evildoing friends nor with people who are humorless, unless they are in need of a good prank and a holy tickle. Truly, all such people are in great need.

7
The White Mouse had a disturbing vision one night after the ritual libations of tequila and Guinness. He saw policemen dressed in black and blue lining the city streets, each one playing a trumpet. ?¨What??s this??Æ he asked. To which he heard a voice reply,       ?¨This is one of the signs of my apocalypse, which is coming soon, tomorrow, yesterday, or even next Tuesday at lunch.?Æ

8
It is said, or not said, or thought, or not thought, that the one who contradicts herself is a fool, but truly such a person is probably just kidding or even a little tired. Consistency is the mark of a madwoman.

9
Coincidences do not exist. To believe in coincidences, or to believe in anything,  is simply aneristic delusion. Or not. Fnord.

10
Those who think the hodge and the podge should be separate will at least be tickled silly. Those who like to put people to death, no matter the reason, should be hodgepodged. Never trust anything that follows the word ?´should??.

11
Never trust any statement that starts with the phrase ?´never trust??. Such a statement is insecure and therefore cannot be trusted.

12
A discordian apostle was walking in the park enjoying a bun-less hot dog when she noticed a squirrel being lectured by the White Mouse. The White Mouse spoke thus: ?¨Fear not if you realize that your whole life is just a hallucination, my nutty friend! Only the bipedals take themselves seriously enough to the point that realizing life??s hallucinatory quality is actually frightening. The bipedals walk with only two feet on the ground. So what would they know about reality anyway??Æ

13
It is said that beliefs are for believers and that non-beliefs are for non-believers, but sadly, this idea is wrong. According to believers, beliefs are for everyone and according to non-believers, beliefs are for no one. But we all know that minds that get caught up in this semantics-diddling trap only do so because they are no longer functioning.

14
Those who are attached to the idea of freedom using discordian tethers are said to be almost incurable of their ignorance. They have confused the idea with experience and thus, become even worse than dogmatics. Truly, the need for the Apple of Discord is great.

15
Behold, people who have convinced yourselves of your reality simply by virtue of having bodies. Behold, your bodies do change. Your spirits do change. You are easily self-deceived, having no substance to call your own without knowing your own hearts. And some knowing this still choose themselves various names to hold onto in the hope of stopping the flux of chaos. Impermanence is growth. Growth is living life. Behold, you are free. So why would you ever say words or do things that are not from your heart?

16
The human brain is the only organ that can get so full of itself that it becomes a waste of time. Eventually, under the optimal entropic socio-cultural conditions, such as present-day society, the brain will, like all other ill-or-unused appendages, wither away. Most people do not notice such entropy while making fun of the ones that do notice it. Freedom from that entropy is the cultivation of a growing mind?ñand the realization, however startling this may be, that life is for more than just settling into cocoons of attention-deficit-disorder-causing stimulation. ?¨A closed mind is a non-functioning mind, or at least dysfunctional.?Æ

17
Dogma is the refuge (and the refuse) of an undeveloped, and therefore fettered, mind. Praise the woman who lives without dogma for she truly lives.

18
The White Mouse once spoke the following statement to nobody in particular: ?¨Those who think that the struggle to free your minds and yourselves is a humorless and serious endeavor will think again. Remember Eris. Those who denigrate the Children of Laughter are denigrating Eris and will meet the Apple of Discord on terms most unfavorable to them, unless they can learn to laugh. The Great Tickle is coming! Prepare the Ways!?Æ

19
The White Mouse was showing some kung-fu moves to his Squirrel student, when they noticed some Christian Evangelists bothering a man sitting on a bench who wore a pentagram. The White Mouse stopped his forms and spoke to the Squirrel. ?¨See that? The Wiccan looks confused, perplexed, and bothered. Therefore, you know he is happy and satisfied with his lifestyle. The Christians look happy, tranced-out, and smug. Therefore you know they are unhappy and insecure about their lives. There is no confusion in the state of fundamentalism?ñand no fun either.?Æ

20
Three sages met and discussed the nature of perception. Being women, the sages naturally didn??t waste much time getting to the point. They spoke thus:
Sage 1: I am under the strange opinion that strange opinions are worth investigation.
Sage 2:You are under the false impression that false impressions are strange opinions.
Sage 3:Both of you are hopelessly trapped in the twisted delusion that deceives you into thinking, strangely yet falsely, that you make sense.

21
Some Neo-Pagan Druids were wandering about in a redwood forest, looking for a spot to do whatever it is that Druids do. While walking in trance they heard the voice of one of the redwoods speak ?¨In all my thirty hundred years of existence I have never seen anything as frightening as government, except for a religious government.?Æ

22
A revered sage once remarked, ?¨Something somewhere was once done somehow by someone. Unfortunately, no one knows anything about it except the pink rabbit with the five pounds of flax.?Æ None of his disciples achieved enlightenment that day, though many were profoundly confused with one or two of them becoming so thoroughly perplexed that they ran off crying ?¨fnord!?Æ.

23
Beware of those who believe in coincidences. They are the worst dogmatists of them all.

[slothrop23]

synchronicity...truely my favorite cocktail

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

I am thinking about changing the title of this spiel into "the Path of Discord" as I have three more, and I want to match them to our season names.

[Trollax]

I am thinking about changing the title of this spiel into "the Path of Discord" as I have three more, and I want to match them to our season names.

do it! Do It!

And I'll have exclusive rights to publish it until my gospel comes out  

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Okay. It is to now be called "The Path of Discord (a.k.a. Chaos II)"

[Official]

Freak!

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Freak!

I can have you fed to squid.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Freak!

I can have you fed to squid.

The squid are ready.  I only feed them every third day, to keep them ready for situations like these.

[Grampa Kaos]

Freak!

I can have you fed to squid.

The squid are ready.  I only feed them every third day, to keep them ready for situations like these.

March 10th, 1944.
Dear Diary,
Well, "Bob" did it again; narrowly escaped death whilst bringing
that blessing to so many others. I got the letter today from Italy
explaining that he'd been making some deals in Eboli. The war was
creating incredible shortages, and I suggested that he'd make a bundle
if he could barter for fresh eggs, dairy products, and meat etc. then
take it to Naples to sell to the city folk. He took three hundred
cartons of cigarettes (Lucky Strikes, of course) to start the dealing.

Turns out he had to travel by train on a regular basis from Salerno to
Naples. Like many of the locals, he hitched a ride on the Balvano Ltd.
hanging onto the side or climbing on top of the cars. He tells me
there were regularly several hundred people who did this.

Well we know "Bob," and though I suspect that he left behind several
dozen dark-eyed future pipe-smokers, I KNOW he made friends with the
engineer and fireman on the train. Just outside Balvano, they stopped
to allow another train to make necessary maneuvers in the station.
"Bob" hopped off the flat car and walked up to the engine.

He says he offered them a pipeload of, "some stuff I'd been growing in
my apartment window." Well, they were waiting between two tunnels for
the "all clear" signal from up ahead, and got to smoking. During this
period, the lower 47 cars of the train were sitting in one of the
tunnels. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem. There was just
this one little thing. See, "Bob" had sold them some 3rd grade coal
because first quality was impossible to find. They were kissing his
ass up one side and down the other until they found out that the
substitute produced rather heavy volumes of carbon monoxide...
When the train started up again, "Bob" left the guys in the engine and
went back to the caboose to catch a nap.

Sooo, they get the all clear and move forward for about five miles.
Now this was a steep grade and the engine was loaded with extra cars
and almost 700 extra passengers(all sleeping peacefully at this time).
They entered the Galleria delle Armi, a tunnel almost a mile long. The
train stopped, slipped backward, pushing the last three cars into the
open air. When the train didn't move for two hours, "Bob" got bored
and walked back to Balvano. "I think you'd better go felch, er fetch
that train," he told them, "There's no one in shape to drive it."

They later tallied the deaths at over 600. I told him it was time to
go to Germany.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

See what I mean?

[Bella]

synchronicity...truely my favorite cocktail

And mine as well, these days.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

synchronicity...truely my favorite cocktail

And mine as well, these days.

Heh. The Whole Damned Thing can be found at
http://www.geocities.com/tribhis/ThePathOfChaos.html