OPEN BAR: I see you've come to PD. I too like to live dangerously

[Suu]

You guys, I think I just ate something vegan. What do I do?

ALL THE BACON, RIGHT NOW

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

I'm going over to facebook for most things, I think.

Yeah, it's evil and annoying and all that, but at least there's some conversation.

I'm not totally sure about this, but one way to get more traffic here could be to make the forums mobile friendly. I find it quite difficult to read and write on the forums when I'm on the phone, which is usually where I'm online nowadays. This is actually the first time I have turned my computer on in almost twoo weeks.

Yes!

[Freeky]

Well, then. Have you considered a temp agency? I dunno where you live, but if there's one in your area, it's a good way to get your foot in the door, and it's in the agency's interests to get you hired. Plus, a lot of them will help you out with interview prep, and some will even provide some basic skills training.

I got into my job through a temp agency. Once in, I proved that I was smart and capable, and a quick learner, so they took me on full time.  If you have the opportunity, it could be a good option for someone with limited experience.

This is pretty good advice. 

Also, don't mind what they, employers, want in the way of experience.  If you think you could do it, apply for the job.  See if you can find anywhere that will let you volunteer, and acquire MAD JOB SKILLZ - it'll help with the whole "haven't had a job in x time" thing on your resume, too.  My city has a number of places that help people find jobs and keep track of current job listings, run by the state - I have no reason to think your state probably wouldn't have this sort of thing, also. 

Good luck.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You guys, I think I just ate something vegan. What do I do?

Quick, eat a puppy!

DONE.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

I am stuffed full of ideas today, but I don't feel like writing.

I need more sleep.

I'm in a cockroach-infested hippie cafe in Eugene, Oregon, wondering if it's safe to leave my crap out in plain sight while I go find a bathroom.

Last time I was there with the Enucleator, we were at a conference about organ donation. A real ray of sunshine that. Then we went to this bar that was all about Prefontaine...because...well...EVERYTHING is about Prefontaine. People got very offended that I made fun of Boulder, what with Boulder being Eugene + a half a tax bracket, and all, then the Enucleator "obtained" a pint-glass from the Prefontaine bar and we left quickly.

There are adventures to be had there, Nigel. Adventures...and lice.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Also, that reminds me:

http://stayoutofmynamastespace.com/

...being a blog of actual quotes from actual white women in Boulder.

The kombucha is better here. They brew it over sacred geometry.
-- White woman in Boulder at Shine

[Reginald Ret]

Big meeting at work with the new owners, today.

Basically:  Sorry, can't give you any dates or any hint of what we're planning, because, while deal is signed, it is not yet CLOSED.  Will be back in two weeks with more details.

Here is package describing benefits of working with new company.  Health insurance better, and slightly less expensive, also Blue Cross/Blue Shield, rather than little bitty company which now holds our pills hostage.  Vacation policy sucks eggs, I'd be back to 5 days a year instead of my current 13.  However, plus two sick and two personal days... however, those wouldn't kick in until my anniversary date, March of next year.

All of the above being totally meaningless, as all our employees convert to being THEIR employees as of June 1st.  Looks like, basically, we'll run the payroll through May 30th, paid June 6th.  After that, we'll probably run a couple parallel payrolls so they know they've got their shit straight, and I'm likely out by the end of June, best case scenario.  Worst case is they pitch us out on May 30th, run that last payroll themselves, and the guys at the shops (a blessedly small number) who have my personal cell phone number call me for the next couple weeks crying about what's fucked up.

Minor blessings, as they are closing down the 401k plan, I automatically become 100% vested, which means I get to keep the employer contributions, and have the option of either cashing it out on June 1st (taking the 10% penalty and the 20% tax hit), or just rolling it over and letting it sit.  Less than a full year's worth of contributions, but, it's something.

Also, they mentioned a nice sounding bonus for staying on as part of the "transition team."  We'll see how that works out.  My faith in bonuses has gone the way of the Easter Bunny and the fat pervert that watches kids all year and breaks into their houses.

On the plus side, they have a big contract with the parent company of the temp agency I use, and have already talked to them about treating those of us unwilling to relocate (fucking Dallas, I don't think so) with some preference.  Probably blowing sunshine up my skirt, yeah, but, who knows.

Ouch, good luck.

Another application filled out, and once again rejected.
Everyone's getting on my ass about not having a job. But what can you really do when you have zilch in the way of job experience, only a high school diploma and are over 30 years old? Oh and can't seem to answer questionnaires properly (at least that's what the screen tells me. "You have completed but not passed the pre-employment assessment" or something like that)

Still I try.


now to resist the very strong urge to go to the store and buy some chocolate ice cream...

Well, then. Have you considered a temp agency? I dunno where you live, but if there's one in your area, it's a good way to get your foot in the door, and it's in the agency's interests to get you hired. Plus, a lot of them will help you out with interview prep, and some will even provide some basic skills training.

I got into my job through a temp agency. Once in, I proved that I was smart and capable, and a quick learner, so they took me on full time.  If you have the opportunity, it could be a good option for someone with limited experience.

This is pretty good advice. 

Also, don't mind what they, employers, want in the way of experience.  If you think you could do it, apply for the job.  See if you can find anywhere that will let you volunteer, and acquire MAD JOB SKILLZ - it'll help with the whole "haven't had a job in x time" thing on your resume, too.  My city has a number of places that help people find jobs and keep track of current job listings, run by the state - I have no reason to think your state probably wouldn't have this sort of thing, also. 

Good luck.

I third and second that.
Any kind of volunteer work is a good start.
Walk into every company near you where you think you could work (for at least a month without killing either yourself or someone else) and just chat with people there for a minute or two. Asking about a job is obviously very smart in this situation but even if you don't it is always good networking practice. The conversations may very well grant you insight in what is expected of workers in various jobs (allowing you to ace any interviews you get).

What are your skills and wishes job-wise?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am stuffed full of ideas today, but I don't feel like writing.

I need more sleep.

I'm in a cockroach-infested hippie cafe in Eugene, Oregon, wondering if it's safe to leave my crap out in plain sight while I go find a bathroom.

Last time I was there with the Enucleator, we were at a conference about organ donation. A real ray of sunshine that. Then we went to this bar that was all about Prefontaine...because...well...EVERYTHING is about Prefontaine. People got very offended that I made fun of Boulder, what with Boulder being Eugene + a half a tax bracket, and all, then the Enucleator "obtained" a pint-glass from the Prefontaine bar and we left quickly.

There are adventures to be had there, Nigel. Adventures...and lice.

I will try to seek out adventures after my interview. Which I am going to start walking toward in a mere 20 minutes so as not to be late god oh god oh god I'm so fucking nervous.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, that reminds me:

http://stayoutofmynamastespace.com/

...being a blog of actual quotes from actual white women in Boulder.

The kombucha is better here. They brew it over sacred geometry.
-- White woman in Boulder at Shine

Holy crap. This is amazing.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It usually takes me like 25 minutes to purchase holistic dog food because I'm concerned that there's not enough antioxidants in it.

--white woman, in Boulder, on the West End of Pearl Street

I can't get enough of this shit. 

[Eater of Clowns]

It usually takes me like 25 minutes to purchase holistic dog food because I'm concerned that there's not enough antioxidants in it.

--white woman, in Boulder, on the West End of Pearl Street

I can't get enough of this shit. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It usually takes me like 25 minutes to purchase holistic dog food because I'm concerned that there's not enough antioxidants in it.

--white woman, in Boulder, on the West End of Pearl Street

I can't get enough of this shit. 

I don't...What...Hey...

[Reginald Ret]

It usually takes me like 25 minutes to purchase holistic dog food because I'm concerned that there's not enough antioxidants in it.

--white woman, in Boulder, on the West End of Pearl Street

I can't get enough of this shit. 

I don't...What...Hey...

You take the words right out of my... uhm, thing, with teeth in...

[LMNO]

It usually takes me like 25 minutes to purchase holistic dog food because I'm concerned that there's not enough antioxidants in it.

--white woman, in Boulder, on the West End of Pearl Street

I can't get enough of this shit. 

I don't...What...Hey...

You take the words right out of my... uhm, thing, with teeth in...

Vagina?

[Reginald Ret]

It usually takes me like 25 minutes to purchase holistic dog food because I'm concerned that there's not enough antioxidants in it.

--white woman, in Boulder, on the West End of Pearl Street

I can't get enough of this shit. 

I don't...What...Hey...

You take the words right out of my... uhm, thing, with teeth in...

Vagina?

I do believe we have similar taste in movies.