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One Sentence Rants

Started by Cramulus, December 17, 2008, 08:24:05 PM

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Bu🤠ns

JUST BECAUSE IM YOUR PRINTER DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK FOR YOU.

Iason Ouabache

You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Kai

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

Cramulus

I'm in love with myself but a breakup is imminent.

Jean-Lustine d'Hadamard

Look where you're fucking walking, undergrad!
"But one intelligence source we know suggests that an injection of a tiny amount of pure nicotine in the anus has the result of killing someone without leaving a mark. We're still trying to get to the bottom of this." --- Robert Eringer, On Marilyn, the Illuminati, and the Father of Our Country, The Investigator, 14 February 2009

Payne

She doesn't like you either.

Cramulus

Oh cool, I see you also prepared a bunch of stale, banal anecdotes for the January 5th water cooler small talk marathon.

Payne

Oh my god I can't believe you did that again you stupid in-bred monkey cock sucking excuse for euthanasia, I told you before that I don't care what kind of water it is as long as it's water you can drown in now go pour me another cup of FUCKING COFFEE BITCH!

Cramulus

Aw man, and I thought I would make it through New Years without anyone laying down a "See you next year!" followed by a bunch of moronic chortling.




thanks, Eve's brother.

AFK

Man, I really, really wish you DID have my back because it is aching like a motherfluffer right now. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Triple Zero

i did that to my collegues :oops:
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Rococo Modem Basilisk

If what I say blatantly contradicts itself, contains obvious hyperbole, an emoticon, or alliteration, that's a PRETTY DAMN GOOD clue that I'm probably AT LEAST HALF KIDDING, and that you should not TAKE MY STATEMENTS SERIOUSLY, especially when I *ADMIT* that I rarely know what I MYSELF believe.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Playing Devil's Advocate in blatantly stupid/ignorant ways is lame; fuck off.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


P3nT4gR4m

Look, I would like to make this perfectly clear but your inordinate level of stupidity renders this course of action impossible so instead I'm just going to beat the living shit out of you for 5 mins by way of settling this debate.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

bds

FUCKING ILL AND I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING AND I'M BORED BUT I STILL CAN'T CONCENTRATE AND EVERYTHING'S GOING WRONG AND I'M ANNOYED!!


:argh!:

I need a coupla days off...