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101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, January 08, 2009, 02:14:43 PM

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Nast

#75
October 05, 2010, 01:19:52 AM
"Have you considered that this might be hurting your political career?"
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#76
October 05, 2010, 08:59:28 AM
 :lulz: Oh, those are good ones! Though I am finding that my kids are finding more and better comebacks as they get older.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Iron Sulfide

#77
October 22, 2010, 09:14:52 PM
that just means you're teaching them well.
Ya' stupid Yank.

Disco Pickle

#78
October 22, 2010, 09:49:45 PM
when they tell you something that would be mundane to anyone older but they think is a horrible horrible tragedy:

"you think that's bad?  you should have seen the accident I had when I was your age.  It involved a shopping cart, a banana peel, a rabid squirrel and a big glass jar of nuts..  it was a nightmare.  Just imagine..  ."

then look at them with your serious face on..

"nuts..   nuts EVERYWHERE"
"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter." --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

indifferent betty

#79
January 25, 2011, 01:01:17 PM
how about "...you can talk!! at least i'm not attractive!!"
-----------------
-I don't need intelligent drugs Tom, because I don't know what they are.

The Good Reverend Roger

#80
January 25, 2011, 02:12:19 PM
Quote from: indifferent betty on January 25, 2011, 01:01:17 PM
how about "...you can talk!! at least i'm not attractive!!"

Oh, hello, Shub.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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