Winter Holiday

[Iason Ouabache]

Ok, I'm pissed that Discordianism doesn't officially have a winter holiday like everyone else (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Samhain, Yule, Solstice, Saturnalia, Festivus, Chrismukkah, Hogswatchnight, etc.).  I suggest we do something about this.  I want a lame excuse to recieve presents and spend time with my horrible family.  Who's with me?

Also, let's have a war on Christmas.  The secularists aren't doing a good enough job at it so far.  Their trolling skills are almost non-existant.

[East Coast Hustle]

I consider New Year's Eve to be the premiere holiday of the entire year, so I don't feel the need for another winter holiday.

however...

a war on Christmas would be full of win. I will troll the fuck out of the next mall Santa I see.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Well, if we look at the foundations for many of these celebrations, they have to do with the rebirth of the Son/Sun... or magic light from oil lamps.

So we could do something like that.

OR, for Discordians maybe the rebirth of the season of Chaos?

[Iason Ouabache]

Also also, should we try to get the other Discordian groups (POEE, EB&G, LJ spags, etc) in on this?  It would be nice to have something semi-official.

[Cramulus]

we should celebrate something arbitrary on Christmas

like Lyndon B Johnson's birthday*

and make a BIG FUCKING DEAL about it







*note, he was not born on Christmas

[Iason Ouabache]

People who were actually born on December 25: Isaac Newton, Clara Barton, Conrad Hilton, Humphrey Bogart, Cab Calloway, Anwar Sadat, Rod Serling, Noel Redding, Jimmy Buffett, Barbara Mandrell, Karl Rove, Rickey Henderson.

Or we could go with someone born on a different day.

[Iason Ouabache]

People born on December 24:  Ryan Seacrest, Ricky Martin, Lemmy, George Patton, Howard Hughes, Mary Higgins Clark.

[Cain]

Joshua Norton was January 8th.

However, a war on Christmas sounds like more fun.

[Elder Iptuous]

I like christmas. It's already crazy and convoluted.  Plus I like the orgy of consumerism.  It's like the energy drink of holidays.
I do, however, advocate mashing any and all strangeness that you like into it.  You can institute bizarre rituals in your family unit, and since the holiday, in general, is universally celebrated the children will accept as normal anything you do in what is ultimately a private family occasion.  Haven't you ever been to someone elses Xmas day and they're doing something that makes you say 'WTF?' but they view as the epitome of normalcy?  that's totally awesome.
I was pretty old before i realized that not every family has a giant spaghetti dinner every christmas eve, since my family always made a big freaking deal out of it.
Now i have my own family unit that i can institute bizzare rituals on.  For instance, i recieved as a gift years ago a (supposedly) traditional german christmas tree decoration that is a life size glass pickle.  It obviously blends in with the tree, and the ritual is that it is hung on the tree the night before christmas, and in the morning, the kid who locates the glass pickle first gets some extra gift or candy or something.  That's awesome.  I'm going to do that.  and someday when my kids are like 12 or thirteen they'll mention it to their friends that they were cool cause they finally found the glass pickle this year and there will be confusion between them.
Christmas is already a fantastic opportunity for high weirdness.  don't fight it.  coopt it.

[Cainad (dec.)]

we should celebrate something arbitrary on Christmas

like Lyndon B Johnson's birthday*

and make a BIG FUCKING DEAL about it







*note, he was not born on Christmas

Best idea so far ITT, next to trolling mall Santas.

[Eater of Clowns]

Festivus seems like the obvious choice to me.  I mean, it is for the rest of us.

Christmas holds the distinction of being infinitely variable, as demonstrated with the glass pickle tradition.  I'd seen those before and fully intend on carrying it out when I get my own tree.

Last year some Australian friends of my stepsisters came over for the morning.  I placed one of the cardboard tubes from an empty wrapping paper roll prominently in the window and told them it was a tradition.  You see, it originated during the Great Depression, when kids weren't sure whether or not their families could afford a Christmas celebration.  The kids would search their house for empty wrapping paper rolls and then display them to their friends in the neighborhood as a sign that their parents had indeed bought them gifts.  I had them pretty well convinced, which would have been wonderful if they had brought the "tradition" back to tell their friends, but my family thought I was being a dick and told them the truth.

[Elder Iptuous]

A most excellent lie, EoC!
that is to be commended.   and a pigeon turd upon your family for ruining the fun!

[BADGE OF HONOR]

I like christmas. It's already crazy and convoluted.  Plus I like the orgy of consumerism.  It's like the energy drink of holidays.
I do, however, advocate mashing any and all strangeness that you like into it.  You can institute bizarre rituals in your family unit, and since the holiday, in general, is universally celebrated the children will accept as normal anything you do in what is ultimately a private family occasion.  Haven't you ever been to someone elses Xmas day and they're doing something that makes you say 'WTF?' but they view as the epitome of normalcy?  that's totally awesome.
I was pretty old before i realized that not every family has a giant spaghetti dinner every christmas eve, since my family always made a big freaking deal out of it.
Now i have my own family unit that i can institute bizzare rituals on.  For instance, i recieved as a gift years ago a (supposedly) traditional german christmas tree decoration that is a life size glass pickle.  It obviously blends in with the tree, and the ritual is that it is hung on the tree the night before christmas, and in the morning, the kid who locates the glass pickle first gets some extra gift or candy or something.  That's awesome.  I'm going to do that.  and someday when my kids are like 12 or thirteen they'll mention it to their friends that they were cool cause they finally found the glass pickle this year and there will be confusion between them.
Christmas is already a fantastic opportunity for high weirdness.  don't fight it.  coopt it.

TITCM.  Also I have one of those glass pickles too.

[AFK]

People born on December 24:  Ryan Seacrest, Ricky Martin, Lemmy, George Patton, Howard Hughes, Mary Higgins Clark.

I think we may have a winner. 

Everyone gather around the Yule Boils!

[Manta Obscura]

I consider New Year's Eve to be the premiere holiday of the entire year, so I don't feel the need for another winter holiday.

however...

a war on Christmas would be full of win. I will troll the fuck out of the next mall Santa I see.

You should go up to him and bitch about how his costume contains the colors red and white, but no blue. Then start making a ruckus about him being unpatriotic, accuse him of being un-American, turn to the watching parents and say something like, "This Santa is all in red, and is thus an obvious Commie. You seat your children on the lap of evil!"




Anywho, I like the idea of arbitrary celebration, but I think it could all be made a bit more abstract:

Perhaps we could get the word out to other Discordians for a pretty cool MF. My idea is that we issue a Discordian "edict" saying that "Christmas should be about consumerism, and nothing else." Our reasoning could be that entreaties to honor ties of "peace, love and brotherhood" are really cleverly crafted ways to promote, respectively, the end of the Iraqi war, promiscuity and homosexuality. The organization issuing the edict could be called "The Council for a Pure Christmas," or some other such nonsense. With any luck we could get some support from a few right wing nutjobs, or something; that would be pretty funny.

Rough idea, to be sure, but I think making a central MF project around the whole ordeal would really help to liven up the holiday. After that, it's really just a matter of taste as to how you want to survive the festivities. My wife and I try to bake the most disgusting cookies/treats that we can think of each year (rule: they must still use real cooking ingredients, and nothing based on organ meat), and we put them in each other's stockings. On Christmas morning, we have to eat the treats and whoever can go the longest without getting sick gets to open the first present.