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Time Travel Diaries

Started by Nephew Twiddleton, October 22, 2012, 01:06:37 PM

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Nephew Twiddleton

Did I ever tell you guys about the time that I went into the future?

It's never the way you think it's going to be. There's never any flying cars, or hoverboards, no androids, no Lunar colonies. And that's sort of a let down when you first look around. Then you go and try and meet your future self and that's also a bit of a let down. Your life never really follows the course you intended it to.

Well, I'm not exactly sure how I traveled into the future. Before I did, time seemed to move at an excruciatingly painful crawl. And there I was, shortly before my 19th birthday, and a time traveler, fresh out of high school.

Well, I decided to leave the year 2000, and I visited 2003. George W. Bush was the president of the USA, a bunch of people died in New York, Washington DC, Afghanistan, recently Iraq. The future was at war. When I tracked myself down, I went and bought him a beer, since he was 21 now. Had one for myself too, since my ID was valid for it. He told me that he was working at the same job I was about to start, went through a girlfriend, broke up with her on bad info, got a tattoo, met some new friends. He was working at the liquor store for a second job, mainly to avoid certain people by not having any free time. He really wasn't doing anything with music. He never got around to going to college because he couldn't figure out what he wanted to do for a career. Matter of fact he didn't seem to be doing much of anything at all, except not getting shot overseas.

Then I decided to travel to 2006.  George W. Bush was still President. The world was not much different. They still didn't catch that guy they were after. I tracked myself down again- he was 25 at this point and his hair was short. We met at the bar, I got him a beer. He told me he was still working at the same job, but not the second job, which he left voluntarily since it was sucking up all of his free time. Went through another relationship, saw some of Europe that wasn't Ireland, joined a band (which I was glad to hear). Went to college for a couple of semesters, dropped out. He couldn't really explain why he did that. But he was a history major. He was living in Brookline with some work friend. We had a good time, jammed out a bit, and then I decided it was time to look a little farther.

I traveled to 2010. I was now 10 full years into the future. Some guy I had never heard of was President, and was having a hard time of it with some crazy people on account of him being black. They'd never admit to it though. No, they were saying this president was the real Nazi. I tracked myself down- He was 29 at this point. He was quite obviously balding at this point, and was compensating by keeping it buzzed short. He had gotten a different position at the same place, lost that job, got his old job back, had started a relationship with his roommate, ended it. Went back to college, dropped out again. The band broke up, and a new one had taken its place (which I was glad to hear). Started dating his bassist, was living at home unofficially, in Newton with his old roommate on the books. He seemed to progress in some ways, in others not. He was a bit of a mess though. He didn't look very happy, and he kept asking me to buy him another round.

I traveled to 2012. It was a couple of weeks before the election. I tried to track down my 31 year old self. I didn't find him until I passed in front of the mirror. Turns out I was talking to myself and drinking alone that whole time. For the first 18 years of life, time goes excruciatingly slow, and then suddenly you become a time traveler. Except time travel is a one way trip, and once you start up that time machine, you can't stop it. And when you're focused on trying to get to the future, you neglect the things you have to do to make the future happen when you make a pit stop to buy yourself a beer and ask how things have been going.

I think I'm going to hold off on going to 2015 for a little while and try and stretch my legs a bit at this pit stop, take in my surroundings a bit more and actually plot a direction for myself.

Your favorite Nephew.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

P3nT4gR4m

Good luck with that. I tried the same thing when I was about thirty. "Hmm this is nice, think I'll hang here and kick back for a while"

Couple of days later and I'm 43, desperately trying to cram in as much as possible because I know the next time I blink I'ma be looking at my own tombstone  :eek:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Nephew Twiddleton

No kidding. Dont really have much of a choice though. Not much to see in the future if i dont start building it now.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Nephew Twiddleton

Time travel is a bitch aint it?
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

P3nT4gR4m

I've met people who were not moving through time but were stuck at some point. Looked worse.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

hunter s.durden

Try going backward.
It worked for me.

Being 19 again is awesome, I just hope I do it right this time.
This space for rent.

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: hunter s.durden on October 23, 2012, 02:03:28 PM
Try going backward.
It worked for me.

Being 19 again is awesome, I just hope I do it right this time.

Well, this time you have a beer gut and a bald spot to assist you. What could possibly go wrong?

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

hunter s.durden

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 23, 2012, 02:52:23 PM
Quote from: hunter s.durden on October 23, 2012, 02:03:28 PM
Try going backward.
It worked for me.

Being 19 again is awesome, I just hope I do it right this time.

Well, this time you have a beer gut and a bald spot to assist you. What could possibly go wrong?

Mere cosmetics.

I have a decade of refined tactics to work with is what I have.
This space for rent.

Nephew Twiddleton

I think spot would be an understatement in my case but the gut has gone down and im almost back to my 19 year old weight.

No theres no point in going back. Ill cause some sort of paradox and the universe will explode. I am stuck in the future and must acclimate.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS