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Microreligions

Started by Cramulus, July 19, 2013, 04:01:30 PM

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Cramulus

There are a million ways to be holy and it only takes 5 minutes to get there. We are spiritual pioneers, hacking a shortcut through the postmodern jungle with a machete of blind ignorant faith.


Microreligion #412: Excreationism. We simulate the creation of the universe by stripping naked, sitting in darkness, and taking a huge dump.


Microreligion #190: Cafe Gnosticism. We consume toxic amounts of caffeine in order to slash the material veils of the 40 hour work week.


Microreligion #284: Murdochism. We believe everything printed in a Newscorp publication is literally true. Join us on MySpace.


Microreligion #128: Emotichondria - We believe each emoticon is an archetypal force which we can commune with via a ritual conducted in an IRC channel.

We believe there is an afterlife reserved for forgotten emoticons. Somewhere, :-$ and =:o] sit on a cloud, playing harps. At last, self expression.



Microreligion #162: Wiccan Reconstructionism. We are reviving traditional witchcraft as it was depicted in 1996 documentary "The Craft".





P3nT4gR4m

:spittake:

I'm going to claim tax relief on at least three of these  :evil:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Mangrove

Microreligion #162: Wiccan Reconstructionism. We are reviving traditional witchcraft as it was depicted in 1996 documentary "The Craft".

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

LMNO


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Mangrove on July 19, 2013, 05:20:27 PM
Microreligion #162: Wiccan Reconstructionism. We are reviving traditional witchcraft as it was depicted in 1996 documentary "The Craft".

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

That's my favorite, too.  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."