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Messages - ThatGreenGentleman

#16
     Devils nor saints could save you from him; he'd eat you alive if you so much as looked at him wrong. Standing over seven feet tall and dressed like a cowboy with no sense of color other than black and close enough to black. Under the collar of his button up shirt and leather vest was a skeleton's hand with an eye embedded at the wrist, as if it were a neck tie, so as to unnerve those who would even dare to think of double crossing him. His name was Greyson, and he looked like someone morphed two Clint Eastwoods together. His black boots crunched the pebbles on the ground as he walked, his spurs clinking with each step he took, towards a sobbing young girl who was trying to wake her dead mother. Greyson knelt down in front of the girl and handed her the small bear she had dropped hours earlier. She quieted down a bit before he picked her up and took her to see the Lady. Normally he was never this kind to anyone, but he always had a soft spot for kids.

     The Lady was not pleased to hear of the death of Camilla Stag, the dead mother of the weeping child in Greyson's arms. "Who did this? Who would DARE to step into my city with the intent of murder?" Greyson handed the girl to one of the maids so the the girl would not hear of what was to be said. She was too young to know of this. "We don't know. We think it might be because of the mother." The Lady's face turned red with frustration. "This is why I was so against Samuel Stag wedding a human! Where is he? I want him brought here, now." Greyson knew what would happen when he answered, but he had to speak or the damage would be worse. "Samuel Stag is dead, my Lady. He died protecting his wife and child." The Lady glared at him and opened her mouth to shriek with rage, but the only noise that came out was the sound of cars crashing and metal crushing upon impact. Once she closed her mouth she had a look of defiance on her face. She knew he hated it when she caused accidents as it increased his already overflowing work load. Greyson wondered for a moment about how the Lady could've turned out this way. He was so careful about how he she was raised. She used to be happy and gentle when she was a girl, but now that she had grown she had become cold and spiteful. No wonder almost no one came to her court anymore. He was dragged out of his thoughts when the Lady barked an order at him. "Take care of the mess and find out who killed Samuel Stag. If anyone else is killed let me know immediately." Greyson nodded before exiting through a red door. The Lady sat upon her throne, simmering in rage.

     Carlos had no idea how he got roped into housing Skull Kid. Probably because Franny was clever and tricked him into it. She was almost as good a trickster as he was and it was always a surprise when she tricked him and got away with it. Carlos tugged lightly at his hair, like he always did when he was nervous or pouting because something didn't go his way, and continued walking home with Skull Kid trailing behind him. Something just wasn't sitting right with him. Why would Franny practically order him to not tell the Lady about the kid? Not like he would anyway, since he hadn't been to the Lady's court unless he summoned. Carlos hated not being in the loop of information. He's the Trickster, he's supposed to know all of the dirty secrets and going ons of the court. So what was going on?

     When they entered Carlos' house the blood was gone as well as Bernard, no doubt that he would return.  "You'll be sleeping on the couch. You can watch TV if you want. There's food in the fridge if you want. I'm heading to bed. Don't wake me up unless it's an emergency." Then Carlos was trudging upstairs. He awoke the next morning to a complete mess of the kitchen and Skull Kid watching TV.

     Francine was awoken to her phone ringing angrily in her ear. "Hello?" The voice on the other end was a hysterical Carlos. "You mad woman! You knew this would happen didn't you? You knew and you sent him to make my house into a disaster area." Francine sighed. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"He doesn't sleep at all apparently, so he practically destroyed my kitchen by eating everything! Somehow he grew taller! I don't even know how that's possible. He's almost as tall as Greyson now! And I don't know if it was something he ate but he drew all over the walls and wrote in some language that doesn't even exist. I should know, I fucking googled it and nothing came up except some really questionable websites. Now he's in some sort of weird TV coma because he can't stop staring at it and doesn't respond at all."
"Did you  try turning the TV off?"
"Yes but he almost ripped my hand off. Do you know how long it takes to grow another hand? A week, Franny. I was dangerously close to spending an entire week regrowing my hand because Skull Kid here can't seem to stop watching TV."
Francine sighed and said she would be over shortly.

     When she got there it was really freaky. Skull Kid was on the couch, staring intently at the TV. His eyes seemed to be whiter than usual, if that was even possible. And Carlos was right, Skull Kid had written on the walls in a language that did not exist and he had apparently grown several inches since yesterday. Carlos was still hysterical, but he was keeping quiet. Francine used the button on the TV rather than the remote to turn it off. That seemed to do the trick because as soon as it was off he seemed to snap out of it. "Skull Kid, what happened?" Francine asked. He blinked a few times, confusion written on his face. "I... I ate food from the fridge and then I don't really remember what happened after that..." Francine looked at the wall behind him and asked, "What does this say?" Skull Kid looked behind him, and as he read guilt seemed to grow on his face. "It says 'I'm sorry, so sorry, please take me home, I'll never do disobey you again.'" When he was done his gaze turned to the floor. Carlos finally spoke since Francine arrived. "What is your home, exactly." Without looking up, Skull Kid replied. "Hell."

   End of part 3.
#17
    Today was not a good day for Carlos Oscar Yote. It was a worse day for the corpse that laid on the hardwood flooring. Carlos sighed and with bloody hands retrieved a cigarette from his coat pocket. "You know it's a dumb idea to try and attack me, Bernard." The corpse on the ground, Bernard Ulysses Ffalo, grunted and slowly got up from the ground. Now standing on swaying legs he spat blood, "You damn trickster. I oughta report you to the Lady, we'll see how confident you are then!" Carlos only grinned, showing off wolfish teeth. "You're just mad because you lost your herd to Benjamin. You've turned bitter and sour, the Lady will not listen to you and you know it." Bernard threw a punch at him. Carlos side stepped the attack and grabbed a handful of Bernard's dark curling hair and yanked him backwards until the larger man fell back to the floor. "You need to stop ruining my floors and wasting my time," Carlos said calmly as he lit his cigarette. "I have some business to attend to, so I want the blood cleaned up and you gone by the time I get back." Carlos left his house, and a cursing Bernard, behind and walked down the street with bloody hands and still wearing a blood spattered suit.

     He went to his friend's bar. It was a small bar, but a well known one, run by Francine Ox, who had reddish brown hair and dark cunning eyes. Francine was pleased to see him, as she always was, and was telling him about this strange kid who had come into Tucson on a bus when said kid came flying through the doorway that led to some rooms (Francine's bar was also a small hotel). "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Francine yelled at the bear of a man who had thrown the strange kid. "This asshole came bargin' in on me and my girl," the angry man answered. The kid's reply was, "The door was black so I thought it was my way home." This only made the large man even angrier and ran towards the kid. Before anyone could so much as breathe, the kid swung his guitar and hit the man straight in the face with it, breaking the man's nose. The kid's face was completely blank of expression, as if none of this seemed important. Carlos was impressed. Francine broke it up and sent the man back to his room while scolding the kid and pointing towards the stage. The kid nodded and headed towards it.

     Francine went back behind the bar to make some drinks. "So who's the kid, Franny?" She looked up at Carlos. "Introduced himself as Skull Kid. Seemed pretty confused when he got into town. Said he was looking for a black door that's supposed to take him home. I noticed he had a guitar and gave him a job of playing here until he finds his door." Carlos tugged lightly at his short hair, a frown on his face. "You know that whole black door business makes him sound crazy. Especially with all that makeup he has on." Francine smiled at him like there was a joke he wasn't in on. "He's not crazy. And that's not makeup." Her friend looked confused. "So it's a tattoo?" Franny made a buzzing noise to indicate that Carlos was wrong. "Not a tattoo. It's how his skin looks naturally." Carlos' face looked like a cross between horrified and amazed. "How?" She looked at her friend. "From what I gather, even though he looks human he isn't. He's just like us." He looked at her incredulously. "He can't be like us, the Lady would've told us if there was another." Francine looked at him sadly, as if he was a child who just wasn't understanding. "He is like us, but he's not from here. That's why we never heard anything about him from the Lady." Silence fell over the two, but not for long because Skull Kid stepped up to the microphone, guitar in hand, and began to sing.

   End of part 2.
#18
Or Kill Me / The Strange Misadventures of Skull Kid
April 13, 2013, 08:40:46 AM
     This is no story of a hero nor a villain, but rather of a person who just happened to be in all the wrong places at the right time. This person was not a valiant knight who rode into battle on horseback. This person was also not an evil necromancer who stood atop a tower, sending forth an army of undead. The point is is that this person was neither of those things because that would be silly and completely out of place, and you should feel ashamed for thinking this would be about knights or wizards. I mean really, do you take this for some sort of nonsense about swords being stuck in a rock? Where was I? Oh yes, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted, this story is about a person whose name is Skull Kid, and he is not good or evil but he tries to do what he sees as right but that just leads him into a very steep downward spiral. Where should we start? At the end and work backwards? No, that will never do and I'll only confuse myself... Perhaps in the middle? That won't work either because that will confuse both you and I. The beginning you say? Why yes, that should work nicely. And here I thought you only came up with foolish ideas, maybe you'll prove yourself to not be a complete fool before the story is over.

     It was a warm summer day in the desert state of Arizona when this all began. An elderly couple, Maria and Juan, lived far out in the desert by themselves. Maria and Juan had been married for 50 years and all of their children had died before they could have children of their own. Sometimes Maria would forget this and wonder when Antonio, their oldest, would settle down with someone before the painful truth would rear its ugly head and her heart would grow heavy with sadness. Juan would drown his sorrows if he could, but the current state of his liver prevented him from doing so. They remained as happy as they could, Juan would tend to the small number of cattle they had and Maria would take long walks through the desert. Each day Maria would look to the sky during her walk and think "Please, send someone to take away our sorrow." Each day she got no reply.

     One day, however, she got a reply (assuming there was someone who actually heard her request). Maria was on a walk and had gotten to the forked tree that had a strange face shaped growth on it (it was positively grotesque for it looked contorted with rage and rather ugly) when a strange black door appeared. It was a plain door with an ordinary brass handle, in fact so unremarkable was this door that you wouldn't have given a second glance if not for the fact that it was standing up perfectly straight and had not been there before. Curious, the elderly Maria approached the black door cautiously before rapping her knuckles against three times then stepping back. The door swung open and out flew a young lad with an impish face which appeared to be covered in black and white makeup to make his face look like a skull. In fact, his whole body seemed to be covered in makeup to make him look like a skeleton. A short round man, who had thrown the lad out the door, muttered under his breath and closed the door behind him with a loud thud and then the black door was gone.

     Maria went to the boy to make sure he was alright and asked his name. The boy looked at her with a blank expression and merely replied with "Skull Kid." She asked him what happened and he seemed to struggle with forming words much less sentences. She smiled a wrinkled smile and ruffled his white hair, helped him to his feet, and took him back to her and Juan's home.

    Juan was shocked by the story Maria told of how Skull Kid had been thrown through a black door that led to nowhere, though both Maria and Juan were surprised to find out that what they thought was makeup was actually how Skull Kid's skin was naturally. Though his skin was strange, Skull Kid brightened Maria and Juan's lives immensely. Juan taught Skull Kid how to sing and play guitar while Maria taught him to read and write. Sometimes the elderly couple called would call him Antonio or Pedro by mistake and sadness would fill their hearts, but only momentarily. With each passing day Skull Kid grew taller and outgrew his clothes and the only clothing Maria could find for him was Juan's old mariachi outfit. The day Maria gave Skull Kid the mariachi clothing, she knew it was time for him to go out in the world, that they couldn't just keep him at their small ranch. With heavy hearts but sincere smiles, the elderly couple bid farewell to the strange boy at a bus stop not far from their house. As Skull Kid boarded the bus, all he took with him was the mariachi clothes he wore and the old guitar Juan gave him. Those were the only things he took with him to Tucson, for they were the only things he would need.

   End of part 1.
#20
Or Kill Me / Re: Stories from TGG
November 22, 2012, 07:02:04 AM
Act 1 Part 2: Strange Beginnings

   I've been trying to do this right for God knows how long, but I can never seem to phrase it just right or perhaps we are those people who are meant to fall in love but never be together. It hurts to think that that may be the truth of the matter; I really hope it isn't. At this point though it's becoming harder to ignore the fact that we've been through 994 lives together, and very few of them have ever ended happily. I really hate the ones when we never meet, or just barely meet before one of us dies. I much prefer the ones where you kill me instead; those are less painful. I like the ones where we grow up together even more. I don't remember how this "cycle of reincarnation" began, but I remember you. I remember the first time we met; you were the daughter of a prestigious family and I was just a clerk, but we happened to pass by each other in the street one day. I loved you instantly, but you didn't love me back. Of course you don't remember. You never remember until it's too late. I remember though, I always remember. I suppose this has what led us to where we are now, in our 995 life. In this life I am not John or Lisa, I am not Roberta or Henry. I am Harriette Ellis and I seem to have gotten into a rather complicated situation.

"Harriette, be a dear and put the knife down before you hurt yourself," cooed a rather obnoxious Courtland.

"You know I can't do that, not until you give me the necklace back," I replied sourly. Courtland sighed and handed the necklace over rather willingly, which made me nervous. He never made things this easy, even if there is a knife currently against his neck.

"So you've got the necklace back. Congratulations, you can finally find them, though I can't for the life of me understand why you would want to find them. They might be perfectly happy already. Wouldn't be the first time it's happened," he said in a cold tone with a smirk plastered to his face. "I mean honestly, do you even know why you're always so compelled to find them no matter the cost?" I push the knife closer. "Fine, my lips are sealed. Just know I'll be coming for the necklace."

"What makes you think I'm going to let you live?"

   His grin seems to grow at this point. "Well, for one thing, their are security cameras there, there, and over there. The only reason why the guards haven't busted down the door and riddled your body with holes is because I need you, you need me. That and the door is made out of Agarwood." He sees my face drop at this new bit of information about the guards. I couldn't care less about expensive wood doors. "It's time for you to leave now. Tell you what, since I'm in a giving mood today I shall let you off with only a twisted wrist and a two week head start. Sounds fair don't you think?" Before I could protest he grabbed my hand that was holding the knife and twisted it. Pain shot up through my arm and I dropped the knife. I kept a tight hold onto the necklace as I was escorted out of Courtland's office by the guards.

   I look at the necklace that is now back in my possession. It looks the same as ever, despite it's practically ancient age. I admire the metal work, the way it spirals downwards, how it seems to shine even though it's cloudy and grey right now. I grip it tightly as I make my way to the nearest hospital or clinic to get my wrist checked out.
#21
Or Kill Me / Re: Stories from TGG
November 21, 2012, 11:43:58 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 21, 2012, 06:07:22 AM
Courtland is a bastard!  :argh!:

Yes. Yes he is. But he wouldn't exactly be Courtland if he wasn't a bastard.
#22
Or Kill Me / Stories from TGG
November 21, 2012, 05:46:27 AM
Act 1 Part 1: A Storm is Coming

   He was unsure of what to make of this. When he had returned to the cabin on the border between the woods and the beach she wasn't there. Instead, there was a note left by her. It rested on the table, just waiting to be read by him. In her beautiful, curvy handwriting the note read as this:

   I'm so sorry. I know you probably won't forgive me, but please understand that what I've done, I've done for us. You and I both know the threats Courtland made and that he will not hesitate to make them happen.
            -Felicity

   His face paled immediately and he took off running out the front door. Felicity couldn't possibly be serious about this. The sky was clouded and gray, a storm threatening to make the sea turn violent, but he kept running along the coast. Finding her before it was too late was his top priority at this certain point in time, but then again, when wasn't it his top priority to always find her, no matter what lifetime it was? "Felicity!" he shouted, but the winds were picking up, causing his voice to be pretty much drowned out. He called out her name until he finally saw her on the cliff overlooking the stormy seas. Picking up his pace, he managed to grab her by the arm before she had the chance to run away.

"Henry? What are you doing here? You need to leave, now. Before Courtland gets here."

Henry took a few moments to catch his breath before saying, "Have you gone daft? What makes you think giving into his threats is going to make him leave us alone?"

Felicity replied with an irritated tone, "Well you're not terribly bright yourself, Mr. Sassy-pants. Now get back to the cabin before-"

"Before what? Oh my, so sorry to interrupt my favorite young couple, but I'm just dying to find out," came the accented drawl of the man named Courtland. Henry and Felicity flinched at the man's poor word choice of "dying." Obviously seeing that neither of the two would answer him, Courtland continued talking. "Since the lovely Miss Felicity here said she'd hand over the pendant, I advise that you should do that in the next 35 seconds before there's one less lover." Henry glared at the man while Felicity undid the clasp of the pendant that was currently hanging around her neck, and handed it to Courtland. He studied it with a thoughtful eye and a tight smile. "I thank you for your cooperation. Since you both presented me with such a lovely gift, it's only fair that I give one of equal loveliness back." Courtland proceeded to quickly draw his revolver from under his coat and shot Henry in the stomach twice. Felicity screamed and Henry fell to the ground as Courtland chuckled lightly. In his last moments Henry whispered "I love you" and then his eyes glazed over and his heart stopped beating. As soon as he died Felicity saw memories she never had flash across her eyes, and finally she understood everything. Past lives and always Henry was there, though he wasn't Henry in them. She sobbed into his chest crying out "I'm sorry! So sorry, Henry. If I had only known!"

"That's the problem. You'll never know until he dies. This always happens in your lives. He always remembers, but you cannot until he has breathed his last." Felicity glared at Courtland, trying to will him to go away, but to no avail. "I think I shall do you another kindness, since I'm feeling so generous today." He smirked as he raised his gun for the second time this day and shot her.

The storm came crashing in as soon as the gun went off. Courtland walked away, finally getting what he wanted after 50 lifetimes.
#23
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Bzvm7zd4Z-s

If you are having election troubles, please consult your doctor before watching.
#24
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 06, 2012, 02:29:21 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on September 05, 2012, 09:28:10 PM
Colonel Kurtz, Apocalypse Now.

The horror...the horror...

Can't provide because I'm at work.



This one wins.
#27
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfdEdE96En0

this might be a good example of what you guys are looking for.
#28
If you want to really be sorry, then watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLgds1u6fyw&list=FLZVbqxZAojW3EN2HAsSeHzw&index=2&feature=plpp_video

I cry tears of laughter evertim.
#29
Or Kill Me / Re: More brain crap stories from TGG.
September 03, 2012, 07:42:52 PM
   Today was Icarus' first day as a common citizen. He removed the last of his Imperial markings, and he did not recognize himself in the mirror. No more fancy clothes, no more having to act a certain way, no more being restricted by an Imperial code. He felt happy, happier than when he had first met Melena. However, this happiness also came with sadness. He was forced to abandon his parents, Helene, and Bertha, one of his dearest friends. Though he also thought of this as a learning experience. For he would get to live and work amongst the citizens of his city and country, figure out what he could do for them when he returns to his throne. Icarus was pulled away from his future planning when Atlas shouted up the stairs for him to hurry up.

   Atlas stood at the bottom of the landing, waiting for the Emperor in hiding to hurry up. When Icarus finally came downstairs, the two of them said goodbye to Sydney and headed off to the coal mines. Now that it was bright out Atlas could see that Sydney's store was close to the docks, which was something he had forgotten about. They easily made their way down the cobbled road since it was so early in the morning, and eventually arrived at the mines. The other workers were also arriving and Atlas could see Icarus' shocked and/or horrified expression. There were children working in these mines. Most of them looked like walking skeletons because they were so thin and coal dust still smeared on their faces showed off the cheekbones and sunken faces from lack of food. Atlas jabbed him in the ribs and hissed, "Keep calm. If you let this faze you everyone will know something is up." Icarus gulped and closed his mouth, then they proceeded to Mine Manager. The Mine Manager was a very round looking man, with a tomato shaped nose and a ridiculous looking mustache. The Manager looked at the two and grimaced at them. "So you're the new workers, eh?" His voice was irritating and laced with self importance. Although he hated people like this (he hated most people actually), Atlas smiled and tried to be as polite as possible, although he showed with his tone that he would not be taking any shit from this man, and if this man tried to, Atlas' tone was sure to imply that he could rip this overgrown pig of a person in two. The Mine Manager introduced himself as Mr. Fergus, and asked for their names. Atlas gave his name as Kirk, and introduced the Emperor as Henry. Mr. Fergus assigned them to be miners and quickly explained the process of it. Down into the mines they went...

   It was extremely hot and unbearable down there. Poor ventilating systems, and there was so much water that it came up to Icarus' thighs. Although Atlas had told him to keep calm about this, Icarus was anything but that. He hated seeing children no taller than his elbow being forced to push carts overflowing with coal and even smaller children working the ventilating shafts. There were also women workers down here, some were even pregnant. He heard of a pregnant lady down in level 9 giving birth this morning then forced to return to work. It made him sick to his stomach that he had been unaware of all of this. It broke his heart to see all of this, and it got worse when three people dropped dead from being overworked. Two of them had been children; one of twelve years, the other no more than seven. He thought that this must be what hell is like. No wonder Atlas had said "This place breaks many people." Speaking of Atlas, he seemed to be completely unfazed by any of this, which worried Icarus, until he remembered that the mercenary was most likely used to being in situations like this. When the lunch break rolled around the dead were finally brought up and put in a cart and taken away. Anyone who hadn't brought their own lunch had been given small loaves of bread, though most of it had gone stale. Icarus wasn't hungry (especially after being down in the mines), so he gave his bread to one of the children. They needed it more than he did. After about 15 minutes they went back down into the mines...

End of part 5: The Mines of Hell.
#30
Or Kill Me / Re: More brain crap stories from TGG.
August 17, 2012, 01:56:05 AM
   When Atlas had uttered the last sentence of his story, Icarus still didn't quite understand. "What does that have to do with Sydney?" Atlas sighed and said, "She was the mercenary's sister. If she hadn't delayed the mercenary my family would still be alive. To this day Sydney still feels guilty about it, though her guilt makes me an even worse person for using it against her."

   Sydney had been crying. She was sitting on the stairs outside of the closed door that opened up to the attic. Whenever Atlas tells that story she always cries, because if she hadn't been so selfish her brother (the mercenary) could have made it on time and saved Atlas' family. Sydney waited until she was sure they had gone to sleep before she quietly crept down the creaking stairs.

   Melena was not happy. She didn't have to look at the poisoned knife on the floor to know they had escaped. What she didn't know, was how. The windows in the room were sealed shut, and there are no loose floor tiles (even if there were, they were extremely heavy marble tiles that would require at least 16 Barbados' to lift). Sighing and placing a hand to her forehead, Melena decided she needed to get her mind off of this for awhile so she could come back and refocus. She grabbed a book from the bookshelf that Atlas had been sitting on, but to her great surprise the bookshelf began to move and a floor tile slowly turned into stairs that led down. "So this is how they did it," she thought with a smirk before descending the stairs.

   Thanatos, his wife and Helene sat on soft couches in the throne room. Helene tried to comfort her frantic mother, while her father was preoccupied with worried thoughts. If you had told Helene a mere three hours ago that Melena was planning to kill her brother she would have thought you insane and dismissed the thought. But now? Now she wished she could go back in time and stop all of this from happening. She turned her gaze to the throne her brother once sat on and thought to herself, "This throne never looked so lonely..."

End of part 4: Times of Uncertainty.