THE LITERARY EVENT OF THE CENTURY

[East Coast Hustle]

wait'll the next hurricane whacks 'em in the ass.

[East Coast Hustle]

I pretend not to notice him as I head to the bar. I don't think he ever actually saw my face clearly the other night, so if I play it cool, I might be able to avoid starting an ugly scene. Of course, as soon as Cuz walks in, the game will be up, but we'll have a slight advantage if Danny doesn't know who has Cuz's back. His eyes don't follow me as I slide into a barstool and order a drink. Good. Cuz and Timmy walk in a minute later. He makes them for sure, finishes up his conversation, and heads for the door.

"you see him?"

"Yeah. I bet he'll come back too, and he won't be outnumbered when he does."

"Well, the good news is, he didn't recognize me, which means he never made me when we were in Sky High the other night. I'll get the drop on him if anything goes down."

"J, I'm pretty sure we'd both better hope that nothing goes down. Those boys don't fuck around, and they don't care about shit like going to prison."

"You wanna bail out then?"

"Hell no! We've got more back-up here than you know. It might get ugly, but I can't let these people see me back down. I might as well quit out and go back to Florida if that happens, cuz no respect equals no business down here. You know how shit is."

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. Shit, at least you were right about one thing. This place is FULL of hotties. I'm'a go try to find me one."

"OK, just keep your eyes open. I know you know your shit, J, and it's not my place to tell you what to do, but I'm not gonna get drunk tonight. You probably shouldn't either."

"No worries, cuz. You're right, I DO know my shit."

I may have a callous disregard for my own physical safety, but there's no WAY I'm doing anything that would jeopardize my little brother. I've got more love for this kid than just about anyone else in the world, and I wouldn't hesitate to take a hot one for him if it comes to that. No need to tell him that, though. He'll be more alert if he thinks that he's watching over me instead of the other way around.
I find myself on the dance floor with a pretty dark-haired girl, moving in tandem to the sinewy bassline of some good dancehall. I love dancing to reggae. Unlike hip-hop or techno, it is utterly impossible to dance to reggae in anything other than a completely sexual manner. They could probably cut the teen pregnancy rate in half down here if they just burned all the dancehall albums on the island. The girl moves closer to me. Just as I'm about to move in for the kiss, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and find myself face to face with a clearly angry Frenchie boy.

"Hey, man! Whadda fuck you t'ink you doin'?"

"What the fuck does it LOOK like I'm doing? I'm dancing with this beautiful lady. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to continue doing so."

"Ya muddascunt! I DO mind! Das MY woman, m'sun!"

He puts a finger in my chest to emphasize this last point.

"You don't want to do that, son. Not with me. And if she IS your woman, you won't have anything to worry about, will you? Now get out of my face."

"Fuck that! Let's go, motherfucker!"

In the split second during which I'm trying to decide whether to ignore him or break his nose, I realize I know him.

"Scotty? Scotty Turbe?"

That takes him by surprise.

"Yeah, and who da fuck you is?"

"You don't recognize me? Man, I used to get stuck babysitting you and Adam and Johnny when your mom and my mom would get too drunk. You don't remember when we found the motorbike on Inner Brass and I convinced you to ride it off the rocks into the water?"

"J? Holy SHIT, bro!"

More hugs and backslapping. This is becoming a theme.

"I was really sorry to hear about your mom, by the way. You know she was family to me."

"Yeah, it was shitty, man, but at least she went too quick to feel anything. Man! I can't believe I was about to try to fight you!"

"Well, I WAS about to steal your woman."

"Ahh, fuck that whore anyway. You can have her if you want her. I thought you were just some honky that needed a lesson. When'd you get back to the island?"

"Couple days ago. I'm just here for a week. Is Adam here too?"

"Yeah, he's downstairs with Timmy and them. Come on outside with me. I'll grab him and Timmy and we'll go burn one in my truck. I got some good kind bud that I just cropped. Grew it with Matthew, so you know it'a be some good shit."

I probably shouldn't, but that's never stopped me before.

"Yeah, bro. Lemme finish my drink and take a piss and I'll be right out."

I down the last swig of Henny, hit the pisser, and head outside.

"J! Over here!"

I walk over to Scott's truck and hop in the back. Adam is just as happy to see me as his brother was. They've got a cooler full of Heinekens in the truck. We sit there drinking and smoking and waxing nostalgic about the old days for a while until everybody has a good buzz on.

"Damn, bro. You weren't kidding. That is some crazy fucking weed, man. It's a good think there's a shitload of girls in there to motivate me or I probably wouldn't bother getting up for a few hours."

"Yeah, Matthew's pretty good. Doc and Edmund turned him into their little protege 5 or 6 years ago, and I think he's better than either of them now. Fucking boy knows his shit, bro."

"Fuck yeah, he does. A'ight, man, I'm headed back inside to see if I can steal your woman again. I think there's supposed to be an after-party at Jake's place, so catch up to me before you guys take off."

"Yeah, bro, we'll kick it."

Cuz comes out the door of the club just as I'm about to head back inside.

"J! You wanna burn one?"

"Nah, man. I just got done blazing up with Scotty and Adam. Scotty was gonna try to kick my ass for grinding on his woman until I realized who he was."

"Man, that ain't even his woman. She gets around, bro, and he knows it. He's even worse than she is. Guarantee neither of them goes home alone  OR with each other tonight."

"No surprise there. That kid's been a practicing pimp since he was 9 years old, Cuz. Let's go back in and find some girls."

"You mean let's go back in and find YOU a girl. I just got fucked out of getting some strange tonight."

"How so?"

"Man, fucking Ashley just showed up. She'll cock block me at every opportunity, and she probably won't even give it up herself. Sometimes I wish I'd never met that crazy bitch."

"Don't worry, Cuz. You can't help it. Digging the crazy girls is in our blood."

"Yeah, no doubt, huh?"

As I turn toward the entrance to the club, I have just enough time to register the sound of shouting, metal colliding with metal, and three loud pops. Instinct takes over immediately. I dive behind the nearest car, expecting Cuz to follow me.

He doesn't.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Cain]

Excellent.  I dont think I've read anything on the net which has manages to make me laugh, other than this, in quite a while.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Unlike hip-hop or techno, it is utterly impossible to dance to reggae in anything other than a completely sexual manner.

Troof.

This is Iceberg Slim Lite:  "75% less Conscience!"  I can't really say that though, cause I haven't read enough of Slim, or ECH for that matter. . .

I meant to go to sleep a while ago, your writing's got a definite hook.

[Bella]

Unlike hip-hop or techno, it is utterly impossible to dance to reggae in anything other than a completely sexual manner.

I don't know about this......I went to a raggae festival in montana last summer and some of those people just looked dorky.

[East Coast Hustle]

a raggae festival in montana

really, do I need to say anything more?

[Bella]

a raggae festival in montana

really, do I need to say anything more?

Absolutely not. It was the funniest thing (almost) that I've ever seen in my life.

[Mad Skillz]

my nigga! this shit is DOPE! how you gonna leave thes cats hangin' fo so long? beest get crackin' wit' dat next chapter, yo!

[Bella]

Seconded.

[LMNO]

Damn.  The wait between chapters is even longer than LMNO-PI...




And that's saying something.

[East Coast Hustle]

I'll have LOTS of time to write pretty soon.

[LMNO]

Bumped for Jenne.

[Jenne]

Thank you!  *commences to read*

[East Coast Hustle]

heh. I actually have two or three more finished chapters to post, if i can ever manage to liberate my computer from the clutches of ECHF's techno-geek dad.

[LMNO]

Hoo-ray!