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Roger's bathroom is located in an underground shelter connected to the secret tunnels of the Moscow Metro. It's hermetically sealed behind multiple blast doors, and there's a fume hood near the toilet.

The fume hood is for when the toilet clogs. It's so highly rated as protective gear that the US military is considering covering their tanks in them.

"I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and I believe in Bigfoot."

It can be argued that I am a Satanist, in the fact that I tend to be adversarial to Christianity. What sets me apart from other Satanists is that I do it humorously. I don't engage in blasphemy unless it's funny or I'm wasted and feel like bitching about something.



I also intend to celebrate Kiester, which is like Easter except that it's on the ass end of Easter- the Sunday after the first New Moon following the Autumnal Equinox.

Haven't figured out what it will entail yet, other than Skinny Tuesday followed by 40 days of Spent.

I don't think I could ever survive 40 days of Spent. I regret to inform you I will not join your religious activities, as interestingly exotic as they sound.

DON'T DO IT, THEY'RE ALL DELUDED AND UNAWARE OF THE DAMAGE THE DRUGS CAUSE THEIR LIVES!

I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU GIVE THEM BACK THE DRUGS I'LL THROW THEM ALL IN JAIL!

Faust is absolutely right, though. Of course we're going to attract a fair amount of ZANY PINEALISTS. We're friggin' PrincipiaDiscordia.com. A fair amount of US were ZANY PINEALISTS when we first showed up. So do we immediately jump on those people and shit all over them and make them not want to come back and learn things and broaden their understanding of what discordia can mean? I don't see how that's at all productive, unless we've decided that we want this forum to be a clique of the same dozen or so posters all the time. And for fuck's sake, it's not like it hurts you or costs you anything to put up with a little bit of that for however long it takes to determine whether we have a new and potentially intelligent poster who might end up being a worthwhile contributor or whether they're just a useless idiot.

Wait, I have an idea! What if we gave new posters 50 posts before we jump down their throat? I bet that would work great!

UNHEARD OF

Lets all make baseless accusations against the only new blood the site has had in months, that's bound to turn things around.

Let's not be reasonable or anything now.

[disappear]

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I'm going to need to figure out the export restrictions, obtain permits for possessing them, and start training on how the fuck to use them without killing myself.

Uh no wait, that's what YOU need to do, Waffle. Thought I had to deal with the backhair for a moment.

It will be well worth it. I'm going to look FAB in the coat I'm going to weave of his arse hair, and the armpit hair winter hat. and ( I hope it is included) the navel lint gloves.

You forgot the merkin woven from... well, that's obvious, isn't it?

Those eyebrows could boil the ocean. I wouldn't put them too close to anything you don't want to just... disappear.

Be sure this'll color my entire life with the knowledge of what horrific fate lies before me. I want the HARD truth.