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I hope she gets diverticulitis and all her poop kills her.

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Tomorrow

Started by Faust, February 22, 2009, 03:36:03 AM

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Faust

And in the News Today the Acting director of the republic of hell made a plea to world leaders to end apartheid and embargos held between earth and the infernal realm, talks have resumed, however the catholic church has again reiterated its position stressing that industry exploitation of Hells cheap labor cannot be allowed.

In the Burberry hills, the worlds largest and most glamorous council estate, candlelight vigils are being held this evening for Jade Goodie below a forty foot screen featuring Live coverage of the big brother Oncology ward. Press Red now to catch up with the latest events in Jade Goodie's endgame.

Health: Recent scientific studies have shown that there is a 69% probability that this generations lack of identity or outstanding characteristics may be due in part, to it lacking the attention span to define itself.

Excerpt from an interview today with Lord Protector from the house of cards, on the topic of climate and change:
"We live in a world that leaves nothing to the imagination, Sensory Junkies and Generation XXX dominate an existence where every experience is available on tap.
Where every moment of each minute of every day must be a climax, an absence of anticipation. Where foreplay was killed in a crime of passion. Where the context between the lines is erased, deemed superfluous and forgotten after reading. When serial punch-lines are fired at you and everyone else seems to get the joke. Where is  the substance? Where is the rest of the story?
The nineties put a gun to our collective head and fired, a hollow point bullet, as hollow as everything else these days, only now as we approach the end of the decade is it ripping out the other side.

They call us politicians corrupt? incompetent? afraid to act? We are just a symptom of the times, the only difference between us is You all chose us (for whatever unfathomable reason), but we're stuck with you. You want my place? Take a stand! Great armies will rise up to meet your call to topple us, if you shout loud enough of course. Your word will topple nations, they will call you Kahn, or pharaoh or whatever takes your fancy. Do you think it will make you happy? Once the satisfaction fades, all thats left is you, chained to the job, alone. Go back to sleep, turn off your phone, ignore them when they call you for the revolution, it will probably be on again some other day as it is."
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Phineas T. Poxwattle

:mittens:

I especially like this bit:

Quote"We live in a world that leaves nothing to the imagination, Sensory Junkies and Generation XXX dominate an existence where every experience is available on tap.

Where every moment of each minute of every day must be a climax, an absence of anticipation. Where foreplay was killed in a crime of passion. Where the context between the lines is erased, deemed superfluous and forgotten after reading. When serial punch-lines are fired at you and everyone else seems to get the joke. Where is  the substance? Where is the rest of the story?

Aufenthatt


Reginald Ret

Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Jasper

Holy fuck, that hit hard.



Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Excellent; VERY strong ending!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


the last yatto

Tomorrow
«  on: Yesterday :lulz:


also :mittens:
Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit

Requia ☣

Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

Sheered Völva

I don't know what the hell this is.

But I like it.

Rumckle

:mittens:

Have you thought about recording this for rfd? 'cause I think it would work really well.
It's not trolling, it's just satire.

Triple Zero

Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Faust

Quote from: Rumckle on February 28, 2009, 06:21:49 AM
:mittens:

Have you thought about recording this for rfd? 'cause I think it would work really well.
maybe, if I get the time
Sleepless nights at the chateau

A.N. Other

Ow...that hurt...good job! The only bad part is, we're the only one's going to read it without thinking, "What a crackpot!"

Well, okay, some here might, but, damn it, at least someone is listening.
"Wow, for an asshole, everyone loves you, honey." -My wife

Dysfunctional Cunt

Damn Faust, I am seriosuly impressed!

Very very nice!

:mittens:


Faust

Quote from: Sprehhan Boli on March 02, 2009, 06:22:21 PM
Ow...that hurt...good job! The only bad part is, we're the only one's going to read it without thinking, "What a crackpot!"

Well, okay, some here might, but, damn it, at least someone is listening.
yeah i get called a crackpot a lot elsewhere, am used to it.
Sleepless nights at the chateau