As y'all say: Mutation is the highest form of flattery

[The Wizard Joseph]

I'm not really pretending Eris is anything but the worst thing that never happened to me.  I'm also immovable on the prettiness thing.

Who cares?  It is what it is.  I mean, if you're into geriatric psycho porn, more power to you.

Actually the age joke is one of my favorites.  You see for the biz I'm setting up I'm going to build a mythology into my marketing.  A tale that I'm not gonna spill all at once here, but essentially a mishmash if various theistic and non theistic mythoi.  I'm going to paint a world not just darker but less meaningful and then make it funny.  I'm going to use alot of thematic elements from Discordianism, Gamer culture, Classical Greece & Rome, Monotheism, Polytheism, Paulytheism, Fraternal Orders, or whatever else and paint it against a background of normalcy and despair.  Give it a little time and I'll show you, cause it's not like it's the end of the world or anything

[Doktor Howl]

I'm not really pretending Eris is anything but the worst thing that never happened to me.  I'm also immovable on the prettiness thing.

Who cares?  It is what it is.  I mean, if you're into geriatric psycho porn, more power to you.

Actually the age joke is one of my favorites.  You see for the biz I'm setting up I'm going to build a mythology into my marketing.  A tale that I'm not gonna spill all at once here, but essentially a mishmash if various theistic and non theistic mythoi.  I'm going to paint a world not just darker but less meaningful and then make it funny.  I'm going to use alot of thematic elements from Discordianism, Gamer culture, Classical Greece & Rome, Monotheism, Polytheism, Paulytheism, Fraternal Orders, or whatever else and paint it against a background of normalcy and despair.  Give it a little time and I'll show you, cause it's not like it's the end of the world or anything

IT'S THE TRIUMPANT RETURN OF BEN MACK!

[Cramulus]

what an enticing blend of techniques.

*takes a long sniff*

I detect pagan, Uncle BadTouch, ben mack, and a hint of setting orange?

So this must be a 2009 vintage. Mm, it was a good year.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Don't know who this Ben Mack fella is, but Google is teaching me as I type!  After a public rant performance someone told me I sounded like Bill Hicks.  Didn't know who he was at the time either.  I sure do now though.  Thank Whomever for the transistor and it's ability to make forgotten events kept in dusty storage rooms on tape potentially viral again.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Upon only light research I'll consider further comparisons to this Ben Mack a very flattering compliment.

Neat interview I found: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6757990819784402795#

[Doktor Howl]

Upon only light research I'll consider further comparisons to this Ben Mack a very flattering compliment.

Oh, dear. 

[Cain]

Upon only light research I'll consider further comparisons to this Ben Mack a very flattering compliment.

Neat interview I found: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6757990819784402795#

Do some research on this forum.

You probably wont be so flattered after that.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Ok, running a search...

No matches here.  Maybe just a hint of what you mean?  I liked the videos so far.

[LMNO]

To be helpful: Literate Chaotic, Discordian Book Club, Poker Without Cards.

[Cain]

There's also an unlimited fail thread, somewhere.

[Doktor Howl]

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=21524.0

[The Wizard Joseph]

Thank you.. and now to power read for a bit.

[Cramulus]

 at the Discordian Meetup in Connecticut this year, I was walkin around with a yo-yo shouting  I'M BRINGIN IT BACK LIKE BEN MACK

Eater of Clowns looked like he was about to throw a frying pan at me   

"IF YOU SAY HIS NAME HE WILL APPEAR"
                   \

[The Wizard Joseph]

Alright, I think I get it.  Took a moment to realize that the man had been posting here himself and now has a handle of "Love" on his account.  Then I looked at his post history..  Never fear!  When I post on these forums it's to share art and ideas because I like Discordianism a bit and Eris a lot.

He seems to be attempting to sell himself on just about every post and mostly caught up in characterizing himself.  I will from time to time portray characterizations But they are mostly fiction and I know it.  It seems that he's trying to "wear himself" in his posts, but is a poor tailor and a worse tale teller.  That said he seems to be of high intelligence, knowledge, and motivation, but seeks influence and has only the tools of techno-marketing to work with.  It comes off as a very optimistic form of the Borg that just wants everyone to have clean water and buy other crap.  Leadership incorporates more than that and my experience is that it gains much of it's power from personal sacrifice and the ability to not just flashpan inspire people but also actually help them.  Not that I'm an expert or anything.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Reality Disclaimer: The following is an act of fiction. All statements expressed are not real and neither are the words used to make them.  They express views and opinions of no kind.  No persons groups or entities portrayed are real either. 

Behold!  I've devised a plan that will leave all other plans with feelings of inadequacy and a persistent fungal infection.  The world is finally reaching the tipping point!  Brothers and Sisters are divided among themselves in ways that no longer even need the pretext of reason.  In the mess made by the more primitive primates of this world I have been watching and building.  Soon I will be a fresh menace in the marketing world, One that would make Barnum, Bernays, and Reich all proud! (It's too bad most of them are dead)

I turned my grimy hands to scrabbling for an Icon.  That is when I found Eris!  She was so beautiful.. The irony if the whole Illiad situation to me is that clearly Eris Is the prettiest one!  It was also impressive that she managed to throw the golden apple at all.  It clearly works just fine on lesser goddesses. 

Having no real way to relate to you all other than the hotness of your goddess, I won't try very hard.  I'm an outsider to this world and it's sorcerous distr ctions.  It would be foolish of me to discuss my origins openly so I will reign it in from here.

I want to open Hail ing frequencies with you followers of Eris.  Though I can earnestly call the magics (Magicks?, Majics?, Magiqs?) of your world rather like a comic book compared to even the basic instruction of my people, (Mom ever catch you diddling to the pictures in the Necronomicon?)I can relate to you and your sense of humor.  It's a most powerful asset.  Those of your world that would shackle themselves to a description of magical seem to have lost much of it in the time that your world has been lost to us, but I say too much.

The core(if you will(or not)) of my plan is to produce a counter current to this lack of life and humor in the most readily available method your silly post-whatever Noosphere (You spell check device is a moron!) can handle, Marketing.  I will blend fiction and fantasy with the real world in a fashion that will infallibly draw attention.  Consider this new thread an opportunity to observe, comment, wail and cry, find fulfillment, or most any other thing. 
Thank you sincerely for your time and good fortune in your days.

Sin-seriously,
Joseph, Wizard, Proprietor of http://ErisErotica.com

Sudden quote: If Mathematics is the key to the universe, art is learning to pick the lock, and Funny is kicking the door in and failing!

A fiction continued...


"May you never lose the stars"- A traditional travel blessing among wizards.

"(he/she/it) has lost the stars"- a statement that there is no hope left for the subject, also a reference to anything struggling madly to no benefit.  Sometimes an insult implying incompetence.


  As I said, I am an outsider to this world.  I chose the word wizard from your English to describe myself because it is close enough as a descriptor. I will use the word for my kind as well.  Beings like my kind travel the planes and worlds with great frequency and are explorers and observers by nature and conditioning.  I believe I am not the first of my kind here but have no proof of this as you have lost much to your various "histories."  In truth I have no idea where here is. This may be a surprise to some, but the people of this world have been isolated and have become deceived. The form of what you call human is astoundingly common among the worlds.  Even immaterial beings, spirits and gods if you must, often prefer this form for it's sheer utility.  I was born to it just like you all.  I am also quite mortal and one day will die just like you as well. 

  In truth we are extremely similar but my kind are optimized for experiences that are perceptually and culturally denied to the majority of the people here.  I will tell you plainly, "All is change, nothing is impossible."  This is a basic truth among my kind.  Survival in a series of unknown environments requires such flexible perception and wizards train toward it.  I was a prodigy.  I am extraordinarily young compared to most functional wizards.  I dared where they would not and now have found myself marooned here on your world.  Worse, I have discovered that your world is toxic in ways that would terrify my ex-colleagues and that have limited my ability to work "magic".  The energies I must channel to do so may be over-generously described as sparse and tainted.  There have been no worlds known to us in such a condition.

  Though similar in form and perhaps of some common origin wizards are different in natural capability and skill.  We can see vaguely into what you call the ultraviolet light spectrum at all times and also easily commune with the immaterial beings in an area.  The sorcerers here use some very long and unreliable mental preparations to call on their deities and spirits that wizards are able to dispense with.  This is partially from the training and partially an inherent gift.  Indeed the first lesson for a student is often training to turn it off at will. The "license to depart" or banishment in your traditional summoning books is amusing in that it requires effort on par with ripping the wires out of one of your accursed "phones" and burying it in the back yard only to dig up, clean, and reassemble it when you want to use it again. The immaterial beings here have fooled you into unduly fearing them as gods or foolishly disregarding them as "non-existent."  The stories you have told yourselves tell me that they and their servants among you have run this ontological racket on you flawlessly. I guess even a god's gotta eat.

  I have been here for some time now and found some fascinating things.  Wizards are familiar with the energy form you call electricity. They shun it as able to (for lack of a better word) "de-wizard" a wizard that tries to channel it.  Being here has taught me that this is the result of ignorance and fear, though also true.  The fools try to use it as they use everything else and discard it as useless and dangerous when it fails to work the way they think it should.  You all showed me the light!  It's brilliant.  I understand the processes of how you make it and it's slave devices only poorly, but admire many of the material workarounds it has provided for the terrible shortage of magical energies here.  You do everything with it! You scry, commune, cook, clean, attack, defend, research, amuse, punish, illuminate, and do hosts of other things with it.  For such a recent development you've really just run with it in ways that would shame and terrify my old teachers.  I just love using the devices and taking them apart!

  Your "money" is also something known to us.  All cultures use a medium of exchange.  What is different here is the profound saturation of your minds it has accomplished.  When I saw that first dollar I knew it was a trick!  How could people trade stylish paper slips for everything?  I laughed so hard as I watched this happen over and over and even saw fights over it!  Clearly this was cheap sorcery at work, but EVERYONE was participating!  I immediately realized that survival here would be much better if I played along and found ways to acquire it when needed.  Even your spirits seem to really love it, their slaves ask for it so frequently. 

TBC....