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Flavor Mud, pork ribs + sauce, and onions.

Started by Freeky, February 26, 2013, 10:08:09 AM

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Freeky

Flavor mud: a combination of numerous spices and herbs mixed with olive oil. Consistency achieved is too thick to be called "sauce," so instead is called "mud," since it looks and feels like a moderate clay:top soil ratio mud (except that it smells good and tastes awesome after being cooked).

Today's mud features the following:
Fines herbes
Sage
Ground coriander
sea salt
Safflower... stuff. It's red and kind of tubey.
Tarragon
smoked paprika
dried shallots
Ground yellow mustard
poultry seasoning
seasoned meat tenderizer
liquid smoke
worsterwhatever
Olive oil

Meat:
Pork ribs, slightly suspect (do not recommend)

Sauce:
AWNJ JOOSS (no sugar added kind, such as odwalla or naked brands make)
Lemon curd
"Spicy" mango Thai dipping sauce
Worsterwhatever

Sweet onions
More paprika, salt, poultry seasoning, olive oil

Oven temp 350F (18 centimeters for you Europe spags)

Put the ribs in a cake pan and coat both sides with flavor mud.

Slice onions, add spices, mix well with generous amount of olive oil, also in a cake pan.

Put everything in the oven until it's done and you feel confident you won't die from eating it. This may take a few hours, up to 3.5ish.

Don't worry if it looks burnt, it's supposed to look like that. Onions should be caramelized before they are removed.

After removing meat from oven, add half a cup of juice, two and a half tbsp lemon curd, a couple bottle shakes of worsterwhatever, and a cup of that fake and yellow Thai gunk together in a small saucepan. Heat on low, mixing well so the curd is all squished up.

Serves you, unless your meat is still definitely okay. Probably about six, in that case.

Freeky

I am not entirely sure if nausea will accompany this recipe from too much greasyness or what. IT IS quite a bit of oil and grease and fat.

East Coast Hustle

I'm not gonna lie, Freeks...if you were trying to horrify me it worked. Also, as with the carrot peels, for the love of god DONT EAT MEAT TENDERIZER.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Freeky

What is wrong with my foodstuff content, other than maybe bad pork (it ended up not being) and the idea of the sauce (which was kind of mostly tasty, in small amounts)?

And what's wrong with meat tenderizer? :?

I do kind of like the idea that I horrified you of all people.

Cain

I'm fairly sure that sauce alone would cause me to feel sick, regardless of the state of the meat.

Freeky

It was tasty. Not as much sugary as you'd expect, but probably not great in large quantities.

This was also an exercise in "Open the fridge and throw it in the pot" cooking.

East Coast Hustle

Suspect pork is not something I ever want passing my lips.

The sauce sounds like overkill to me, but that's without having actually tasted it and is also a completely subjective opinion. People like different stuff. but nobody should like suspect pork.

As for the meat tenderizer: depends on what kind it was. None of it is particularly good for you. And if you're slow cooking it like that, you don't NEED it, because that much time at that temperature will break down all of the connective tissues that make meat tough. Meat tenderizer is only for trying to turn really tough cuts into something you can do hotter and faster and not come out like a piece of shoe leather. And for that, no chemical tenderizer in the world is better than just pounding the meat a few times with a hammer.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

As a general rule, you should never need meat tenderizer on any piece of pork anyway, except for MAYBE a shank if you were trying to do something REALLY strange with it. It's almost exclusively used for certain cuts of beef, or something that you shot yourself.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

LMNO

Quote from: Balls Wellington on February 27, 2013, 07:48:10 PM
no chemical tenderizer in the world is better than just pounding the meat a few times with a hammer.

Plus, it's more fun that way.


Quote from: Balls Wellington on February 27, 2013, 07:49:43 PM
As a general rule, you should never need meat tenderizer on any piece of pork anyway, except for MAYBE a shank if you were trying to do something REALLY strange with it. It's almost exclusively used for certain cuts of beef, or something that you shot yourself.

Really?  What about a Pork Roulade?  I'm not challenging your knowledge, I'm just curious as to how you would do it.

East Coast Hustle

I'd do it with a hammer, not some sprinkled chemical powder.

Unless I had one of the fancy Stephen King-inspired slicers like they have at the Thai food joint I work at. Then I wouldn't need to do anything other than drop a hunk of pork into a machine and hope my fingers don't get pulled in.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

though TBH, I generally wouldn't have a roulade on my menu anyway with the possible exception of Veal Saltimboca. I don't have any problem with them, or with the concept itself, it's just not really reflective of my style.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

East Coast Hustle

And for the record, please feel free to challenge my knowledge any time. I tend to learn things when people tell me I'm wrong about something, whether I actually AM wrong about it or not. That's important, IMO, and I also try really hard not to let my ego get wrapped up in what I do for a living. Not to say I don't take alot of pride in it, but it's just something I do, it's not what I am.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

LMNO

Actually, i read the post wrong.  I was so excited about hitting things with a hammer, I read "I would never tenderize pork" instead of "I would never put tendeizer on pork".

Actually, you didn't really say that either, but hey, I'm an idiot.

And :like: to the previous post.

Freeky

Actually, the sauce was pretty narsty after a while.

I just used the seasoned meat tenderizer as a seasoning, like I always do.   Although now I'm looking at it, it does say "less than 1% of" some spices, so maybe I'll keep that in mind for next time.