Rant 56: The War On Terror

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Rant 56
The War On Terror

,ÄúLo and behold! Eris is thy Goddess, even unto thine own darkest recesses She toys with thee, despite the protestations of thy disbelief. She bangs at the door of thy heart asking you nicely to come out and play with Her; but woe to those who listen not, for She bears a mighty slap. She shall give you freedom. If you find it within thyself to reject Her, then She shall hit you over and over with that freedom. Let all with understanding meditate on the veracity and potency of the word maybe.,Äù
-from the Book of the Tequila M??stica Cabal

,ÄúYou are either with us, or you,Äôre for the terrorists.,Äù
¬St. George W. Bush, Keeper of the Nookyooler Keys, and Idiot Boy Emperor of the USA

,ÄúYou are either with us, not, or maybe. And possibly two other choices.,Äù
-Tequilarius Malignatus, Keeper of Sock Puppets

Much blathering idiocy is today in vogue among the self-media-and-state-appointed ,Äòexperts,Äô about the War On Terror. To be exact, the actual American Government inspired War On Terror,Ñ¢ , should really be called the War Against Some Terrorists (and Not Against Others). The current official State-sponsored War On Terror,Ñ¢ is, despite what its deluded proponents claim, worth absolutely fuck all. In the time since the Idiot Boy Emperor Bush declared an unflinching War On Terror,Ñ¢ , nothing at all has been done to stop anything remotely resembling terror or terrorism of any kind. Sure THEY went and set up the Office for Homeland Security, but BUREAUCRACY counts for little outside of the official declarations most modern people cherish and believe. This State-sponsored War On Terror,Ñ¢ is simply another manifestation of the menace of Stupidity,Äîa.k.a. DUMB,Äîas much as any of the Al-Qaeda attacks. Look at the actual results of the invasion of Afghanistan to see if anything tenable was accomplished. And then there is the Wag-the-Dog of the war against Iraq in which every one of Bush,Äôs claims about the so-called threat of Saddam Hussein and his armies has been disproved time and again. After three years of the official War On Terror,Ñ¢ the ancient anarchist dictum still rings true across the world. This dictum has probably been made to ring even truer since the start of the War On Terror,Ñ¢ ,Ķ ,ÄúYour Leaders Can,Äôt Protect You, but They Can Get You Killed.,Äù

Never trust the fucking BUREAUCRACY to protect jack squat, let alone trust it with your safety. As can be clearly seen, THEY are only contributing to the ever spreading fracas of war and terror throughout the world, and the flying shit will only reverberate back on all of us, not THEM. THEY could care less about it, because THEY travel around in groups under constant armed protection and surveillance, whether THEY are the State leaders or the Freelance Al-Qaeda-type leaders. THEY get their own people to die in their names all the while promising some tenuous Eternal Glory. It,Äôs the same damned story we have been forced to listen to for generations,Äîinstead of trying to make this world a better place, it is best to sacrifice one,Äôs life and the lives of others for some territorial pissing contest of alleged deities. All offense intended to THEM, but have THEY even looked at themselves to see how much more in common THEY have than their supposed differences. It,Äôs all a sick traffic jam of bang-bang and boom-boom which destroys lives while making those lives seem not as important as the ideas for which THEY fight each other. Let it be known that the Discordian Society has the leaders of THEM, no matter which alleged side THEY claim to be on, in the sights of Eris,Äîthis probably accounts for the rabidity with which THEY make their excuses for their Stupidity. THEY know that THEY have a great smack coming, even as THEY believe that their wars over the Apple of Discord are not their fault. My fellow Discordians, hide from THEM if you must, but don,Äôt fear THEM, for we shall soon watch THEM destroy themselves,Äîhopefully we,Äôll watch THEM do so from far, far away.

Now that that is out of the way, let me discuss the real War On Terror known as Operation Mindfuck. It is so obscure that all the religious doctrines and social laws can not account for its myriad actions. It is our greatest campaign in the War Against Stupidity and Thus Against Terror. It is the fight for life, laughter, chaos, and the pursuit of pop-tarts. It is freedom being expressed. OM is talked about to no end, so I won,Äôt waste a lot of time on its specifics, just on some of its symptoms. You can trust that Operation Mindfuck is the real War On Terror because you can trust us,Ķokay, maybe that wasn,Äôt the best example,Ķhow about ,Äúbecause taking part in it makes you laugh so hard?,Äù

OM is the reason why people change from being Liddle Deluded Dupes into Legionaries of Dynamic Discord, or Lickers of Liquors Distilled, or Leering Lost Discordians, or Likeable Lively Drinkers, or Lecturing Lectors of Discordoxy, or Some Other Such Things or Personages Unnamed Unless you wish to be Named. OM is the means and the ends which need no justification, only a rollicking good time that gives some of THEM the chance to breathe the fresh air of freedom that Eris brings Her Children unto so we can imbibe of it constantly to the point of an almost feverish intoxication. It is our greatest weapon of mass intelligence we have in the War Against Stupidity And Therefore The Real War On Terror.

Against the continuous stream of bullshit spouted by the experts and the leaders, we have the bird shit of our guerrilla ontology being continuously dropped upon the houses of THEM until the roofs eventually collapse in on THEM. We have the loose nuts scattered along their paths so that THEY will trip and hopefully take the freedom we offer THEM in large duffel bags, or in the pockets of their own pants, or possibly even lapped up in handfuls, before Eris decides to smack THEM all around with Her staff. We are the ones who take the eggs of their egos and throw them around watching them splatter all over the nice newly paved streets. We disable their televisions and give THEM comprehensive Discordian tracts and flyers in an attempt to remind THEM what thinking freely really entails,Äîeven if we ourselves can,Äôt really say. We try to win THEM over by our mysterious shouts of ,ÄúKallisti!,Äù all the while keeping the aim of our Golden Apple Tossing vicious in the off hand chance that such of THEM do not realize that Eris is Goddess, our Goddess, no other Goddess besides Her, and She is their Goddess,Äîdespite the technicality of their denials.

And if all else fails, I will smoke THEM all in my pipe. Then again, I may just do so anyway. Or perhaps, Bob will get to THEM first, on account of my special Erisian blend of slack. Or I could sick some herds of prairie squid upon THEM. That could be something special to see. Or perhaps you have some ideas to inflict upon the rest of us in this Operationally Mindfucking War Against Stupidity and Therefore the Real War On Terror. Eris only knows what you might be thinking about at this point because I can see Her tapping on your pineal glands,Ķand we know what that means.

Kallisti!

(Bureaucracy 11th, 3170)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Actually, the bureaucracy is now all that stands between us and utter tyranny.

[Horab Fibslager]

Actually, the bureaucracy is now all that stands between us and utter tyranny.

ain't it beautiful?

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Shit! And then there's Eris running around with that staff bonking like crazy with Her half-brother Bob smiling and smoking away at the onlookers. Are we doomed?

[Horab Fibslager]

Shit! And then there's Eris running around with that staff bonking like crazy with Her half-brother Bob smiling and smoking away at the onlookers. Are we doomed?

no, we're dumb.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Shit! And then there's Eris running around with that staff bonking like crazy with Her half-brother Bob smiling and smoking away at the onlookers. Are we doomed?

no, we're dumb.

Truer words were never spoken until now--except for the part about the toothpaste.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Actually, the bureaucracy is now all that stands between us and utter tyranny.

ain't it beautiful?

Yep.  If it weren't for inefficiency, we'd be SCREWED.

[Horab Fibslager]

Actually, the bureaucracy is now all that stands between us and utter tyranny.

ain't it beautiful?

Yep.  If it weren't for inefficiency, we'd be SCREWED.

we';re screwed anyway, but at least we can enjoy it this way.

does the nail that is driven through the skull 1/64th of an inch each second hurt mroe or less than the nail that is driven through the skull at 1000ft/second?

[Rupert Giles]

Actually, the bureaucracy is now all that stands between us and utter tyranny.

ain't it beautiful?

Yep.  If it weren't for inefficiency, we'd be SCREWED.

we';re screwed anyway, but at least we can enjoy it this way.

does the nail that is driven through the skull 1/64th of an inch each second hurt mroe or less than the nail that is driven through the skull at 1000ft/second?

The former.  Railguns are pretty much insta-kill with this Physics Engine.

[Horab Fibslager]

Actually, the bureaucracy is now all that stands between us and utter tyranny.

ain't it beautiful?

Yep.  If it weren't for inefficiency, we'd be SCREWED.

we';re screwed anyway, but at least we can enjoy it this way.

does the nail that is driven through the skull 1/64th of an inch each second hurt mroe or less than the nail that is driven through the skull at 1000ft/second?

The former.  Railguns are pretty much insta-kill with this Physics Engine.

perhaps, but which is mroe violent?

[Rupert Giles]

Actually, the bureaucracy is now all that stands between us and utter tyranny.

ain't it beautiful?

Yep.  If it weren't for inefficiency, we'd be SCREWED.

we';re screwed anyway, but at least we can enjoy it this way.

does the nail that is driven through the skull 1/64th of an inch each second hurt mroe or less than the nail that is driven through the skull at 1000ft/second?

The former.  Railguns are pretty much insta-kill with this Physics Engine.

perhaps, but which is mroe violent?

That designation, my friend, varies from Dreamer to Dreamer.

[namu]

The Universe can't exist without inertia and gravity, which both are caused by the presence of Eris everywhere.

Hail Inertia ! Hail Entropy ! Hail Eris !

[Rupert Giles]

The Universe can't exist

.

I agree.

[Trollax]

Shit! And then there's Eris running around with that staff bonking like crazy with Her half-brother Bob smiling and smoking away at the onlookers. Are we doomed?

Doom is the destruction that occurs during and after a calamity.

Dumb is believing that it is all over after that point.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Shit! And then there's Eris running around with that staff bonking like crazy with Her half-brother Bob smiling and smoking away at the onlookers. Are we doomed?

Doom is the destruction that occurs during and after a calamity.

Dumb is believing that it is all over after that point.

Possibly...
but never underestimate the power and influence of TV.