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And There Was a Great Holiness™ in the Land of Tucson.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 03, 2012, 09:51:06 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 03, 2012, 09:51:06 PM
In my toilet just now:  A turd the size of a human head.  Dark brown with a bit of green in it, worked and smoothed on one side & cracked and chipped on the other.  It rests in insufficiently deep water.  Many small but horribly undescribeable islands surround it.  The turd was placed there purposely, with great effort.  The turd calls to me.  It has chosen me, not me it.  I have dreamed about the turd before in my youth but forgotten until now.  Why?

Nations desire the turd and rage at my possession of It.  Their agents call me at all hours making threats and sending Mr Chop and Mr Scratch around, but I have taken the necessary precautions.

The contract plumber has threatened my life.  Again.

Look upon the things your Holy Man™ must endure, to keep the world turning, and take a minute to thank God that you're not me.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#1
October 03, 2012, 10:40:22 PM
 :lulz:

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
May 31, 2014, 01:47:56 AM
Bump, because I am feeling unappreciated by you ingrates
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#3
May 31, 2014, 04:33:31 AM
My asshole clenched in sympathy.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Luna

#4
June 01, 2014, 04:54:03 PM
I am speechless in the face of that much Holy.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Richter

#5
June 02, 2014, 12:46:00 AM
I could politely skirt the implication - but here goes - No one since Zeus has had so vivid a tale of birthing a god into this world.  What ever became of this Fecal Athena?  Did is disappear into the pipes with a howling cackle?  Did it levitate of it's own ill-begotten vileness and hum off into the night to spread malediction, the smaller tagnut postules cirling it like bab-elemental ioun stones?  Or did it just lay there?  Content to let men build nestled chapels around it, like the Dome of the Rock?

I need to know - mostly because sending folks to it as a later-day miracle amuses me.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
June 02, 2014, 01:22:22 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2014, 12:46:00 AM
I could politely skirt the implication - but here goes - No one since Zeus has had so vivid a tale of birthing a god into this world.  What ever became of this Fecal Athena?  Did is disappear into the pipes with a howling cackle?  Did it levitate of it's own ill-begotten vileness and hum off into the night to spread malediction, the smaller tagnut postules cirling it like bab-elemental ioun stones?  Or did it just lay there?  Content to let men build nestled chapels around it, like the Dome of the Rock?

I need to know - mostly because sending folks to it as a later-day miracle amuses me.

:lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

#7
June 06, 2014, 07:56:49 PM
A gift, for your plumber.  Because I can't see anything that could possibly go wrong.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2014/06/04/318542635/a-new-way-to-unclog-a-toilet-at-your-own-risk

I would request video of the first time he uses it in your john, though.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
June 07, 2014, 02:04:16 AM
Quote from: Luna on June 06, 2014, 07:56:49 PM
A gift, for your plumber.  Because I can't see anything that could possibly go wrong.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2014/06/04/318542635/a-new-way-to-unclog-a-toilet-at-your-own-risk

I would request video of the first time he uses it in your john, though.

The mind boggles in horror.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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