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Please critique my response to a religious mass-mailing from a local church.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 23, 2012, 05:29:52 PM

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Juana

Although if you're going for contempt, I think you could actually crank it up a little. Some biblical citations, perhaps.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 23, 2012, 06:54:24 PM
Although if you're going for contempt, I think you could actually crank it up a little. Some biblical citations, perhaps.

I suppose.  I'm aiming for calling him a bad Christian for rage-inducement.

Luke 6:46, maybe?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Juana

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Eater of Clowns

I like it, especially since you come across as genuinely concerned.  You don't outwardly wish him ill will and come across as the reasonable figure providing love and affection in contrast to his exclusion and hatred.

I don't think adding bible verses to this one is a good idea; it'll provide a quotation war in the event he responds.  A response is great, but it seems like you'd rather provoke a moral argument here rather than a dogmatic one.  Have some dug up just in case he plays that card, but don't be the first one to play it.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Signora Pæsior

Petrochemical Pheremone Buzzard of the Poisoned Water Hole

Internet Jesus

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 23, 2012, 05:38:47 PM
Nice.  Restrained, actually.


In a related note, we were discussing at band practice last night that Paul could very well have been a self-hating gay:

"I mean, he obviously hated women, while also loathing other gay men..."

"Plus, he changed his name to something less Jewish once he got really famous!"

He totally was. What do you think the "thorn in his flesh" was, an eye ailment?  No way, dude loved cock and he didn't want to.
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I think it's exactly perfect. Cutting is what it called for.

Maybe send a copy to  the local paper, as well.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Luna

Beautifully done, and I second Nigel's suggestion to send a copy along to the local paper.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Aucoq

That's a great letter, Man Yellow.  I like that you needled him enough for it to hurt without going overboard so he automatically ignores whatever you say.  I really hope he sends you a reply.
"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.

Mangrove

Quote from: Aucoq the Fairy Queen on October 24, 2012, 03:39:57 AM
That's a great letter, Man Yellow.  I like that you needled him enough for it to hurt without going overboard so he automatically ignores whatever you say.  I really hope he sends you a reply.

Likewise. I love the thought of a published volume of Roger vs Preacher correspondence.

The OP is fantastic. I think Roger struck a very fine balance between rational discussion and zing. I'm going to show Mrs Mang the letter because she fired off something like this to the minister of her former church after her mom died. It pointedly but diplomatically went along the lines of:

"You seem to be all about building up membership and yet, you were happy to ignore my mom when she was dying in a nursing home while cashing the 'tithe' from her social security checks. Pretty sure Jesus wasn't into that. Oh and by the way, the only actual Christian woman who visited her frequently was a total stranger (ie: not in your church) who would go in and read the bible to her."

Mrs Mang saw the minister at a funeral a few months later. Unsurprisingly, he blanked her.
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

hunter s.durden

Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 23, 2012, 06:09:12 PM
Meh.  Needs MOAR goat blood and "hail satan".  Pentagrams doodled in thee margins would be a nice touch.  A reference to Varg having the right idea would also be a nice inside joke, too.

I disagree with this.
Rog, your approach is perfect.
When Christians see all the "hail Satan" stuff it just reinforces their belief that heathens like us are all puppets of Satan and their holy war is needed to protect their Christian brethren from the influence of such nonsense. It's expected. Hell, it's almost craved. It keeps the fear mongers in business.
Roger's approach forces the subject to look at his own theology, philosophy, and general belief system. He has to take a deep look at his beliefs (if he's being honest with himself) and say "Am I right?" It challenges him to take an honest look at the belief system as a whole.

My brother, a Christian, gets this. He is pro gay marriage and anti theocracy because, at his core, he knows these aren't the true paths of righteousness. Then again, he finds organized Christianity offensive due to its impersonal nature. I hope more Christians give that narrow minded bullshit some scrutiny based on the actual gospel.
The Luke touch is especially nice. My brother often cites that; Jesus never hated the whores and taxmen, he loved them, and we thought that was the point of it all.

Or maybe God just hates fags. Yeah, that's easier. It takes no effort or understanding, and we can get right to the blood.
This space for rent.

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.