Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM

Title: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Jasper on July 27, 2010, 05:48:22 AM
Okay normally I ignore the horoscopes but getting one from a real person sounds fun.

Scorpio!
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:50:34 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on July 27, 2010, 05:48:22 AM
Okay normally I ignore the horoscopes but getting one from a real person sounds fun.

Scorpio!

Your doctor says your blood pressure is off the charts and you need to kick back. You go home and try desperately to kick your back - ending up with seven slipped discs. Man, you are sure going to get some quality down time now.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Jasper on July 27, 2010, 05:53:42 AM
:mittens:

Nice.  :D
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Nast on July 27, 2010, 05:54:31 AM
What fun!

Virgo.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Juana on July 27, 2010, 05:57:50 AM
Pisces
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on July 27, 2010, 05:58:28 AM
Buttface
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:01:33 AM
Quote from: Nast on July 27, 2010, 05:54:31 AM
What fun!

Virgo.

You thought that girl down the street would be surprised by your little spur-of-the-moment visit. She was. You scared the pants off her! Literally! But fear not, that certain someone who pointed out that you had a booger on your shirt the other day has forgotten the whole incident.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:02:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 05:57:50 AM
Pisces

Learn to live life to the fullest. Start with a big breakfast. But, hey, nobody lives forever, stop with the fiber already! Oh, and I see good financial news in your future - in about thirty or forty years!
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:04:21 AM
Quote from: Ne+@uNGr0+ on July 27, 2010, 05:58:28 AM
Buttface

(http://blaugh.com/cartoons/061009_larry_buttface.gif)
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Rumckle on July 27, 2010, 06:05:30 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:02:18 AM
Quote from: Hover Cat on July 27, 2010, 05:57:50 AM
Pisces

Learn to live life to the fullest. Start with a big breakfast. But, hey, nobody lives forever, stop with the fiber already! Oh, and I see good financial news in your future - in about thirty or forty years!

:lulz:

Fuck Yeah!
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: DiscoUkulele on July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Kurt Christ on July 27, 2010, 06:10:49 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p
I love this.
-Father Kurt Christ, Leo.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Iason Ouabache on July 27, 2010, 06:20:16 AM
Quote from: DiscoUkulele on July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)
Ditto.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 27, 2010, 06:35:47 AM
SAGITTARIUS!
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Rumckle on July 27, 2010, 07:13:40 AM
More like SPAGITTARIUS!

Am I right?
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: The Johnny on July 27, 2010, 07:23:31 AM

Libra  :wink:
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: AFK on July 27, 2010, 11:00:08 AM
Yield
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: pharmakon on July 27, 2010, 02:36:11 PM
Cancer!
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Cramulus on July 27, 2010, 03:08:41 PM
My Ödiac sign is Milli (http://www.brunching.com/odiac.html)

Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 27, 2010, 03:19:39 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 27, 2010, 03:08:41 PM
My Ödiac sign is Milli (http://www.brunching.com/odiac.html)


:lulz:
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Freeky on July 27, 2010, 03:36:10 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 27, 2010, 03:08:41 PM
My Ödiac sign is Milli (http://www.brunching.com/odiac.html)


That is wih
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:45:54 PM
Quote from: DiscoUkulele on July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)

Quote from: Iason Ouabache on July 27, 2010, 06:20:16 AM
Quote from: DiscoUkulele on July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)
Ditto.

Attention, Taurus. Stop with the caveman fantasy, Conan, it's time you washed your hair. It smells funny. While you're at it you might as well wash ALL over. Stop using water conservation as an excuse to be stinky! You know why your girlfriend hasn't complained about it? 'Cause she won't come near ya, that's why.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:47:51 PM
Quote from: vexati0n on July 27, 2010, 06:35:47 AM
SAGITTARIUS!

Your roommate is out to get you. You think he's being nice when he folds your laundry, but he's actually wearing your underwear around before he puts it in your drawers! And he's out to steal your girlfriend too. Maybe you should buy her some chocolates. And I don't mean Tootsie Rolls, palsy, buy her the expensive assorted kind with the gooey unpredictable centers! If that don't work, beg.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:55:49 PM
Quote from: Rumckle on July 27, 2010, 07:13:40 AM
More like SPAGITTARIUS!

Am I right?

DO NOT GO OUTSIDE EVER!
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:56:58 PM
Quote from: Joh'Nyx on July 27, 2010, 07:23:31 AM

Libra  :wink:

Attention Libra! I'm sorry to report that in the next few months you'll discover a large ugly lump on your neck. It's your HEAD! Mwaahaahaahaa! So don't pick at it, it'll just make it worse.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:59:58 PM
Quote from: RWHN on July 27, 2010, 11:00:08 AM
Yield

Look just stop doing that. Really, we all know.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:04:56 PM
Quote from: pharmakon on July 27, 2010, 02:36:11 PM
Cancer!

well anyways, the moral of the story is, you wack off onto your pillow and eat it.

Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:09:01 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on July 27, 2010, 03:08:41 PM
My Ödiac sign is Milli (http://www.brunching.com/odiac.html)



You will make a record and the debut album will achieve high sales internationally which will earn you a Grammy Award for Best New Artist.  However, your success will turn to infamy when your Grammy is revoked after it is revealed that the lead vocals on the record are not the actual voices of you and and your cat, Miley. In ten years after your initial debut, your cat will be found dead in a Frankfurt hotel of an apparent drug overdose.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:09:14 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p

Wait.

I'm not a Leo.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:09:14 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p

Wait.

I'm not a Leo.

I did Leo to start cause it's July. :p

Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:12:00 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:09:14 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p

Wait.

I'm not a Leo.

I did Leo to start cause it's July. :p



Oh, um, erm, never mind, then.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:15:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:12:00 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:09:14 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p

Wait.

I'm not a Leo.

I did Leo to start cause it's July. :p



Oh, um, erm, never mind, then.

NO YOU GET YOURS!!!! MUHAHAHAHA! ahem....

You get told you have to guard a button and ordered not to touch it. You give in after 30 seconds.

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3606/3470276351_64c06294d1.jpg)
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:17:07 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:15:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:12:00 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:11:00 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 27, 2010, 06:09:14 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:11:08 AM
Leo:

It's time to stop dressing like Strawberry Shortcake. It's creepy. A hairy guy like you should leave the pink dresses and striped tights at home! I know you got big laughs in the second grade 'n' all the girls wanted to sit by ya, but now the only girl who'll come near you is your shrink! Face it, it's not cute any more.

Edit: list a sign you'd like to read. :p

Wait.

I'm not a Leo.

I did Leo to start cause it's July. :p



Oh, um, erm, never mind, then.

NO YOU GET YOURS!!!! MUHAHAHAHA! ahem....

You get told you have to guard a button and ordered not to touch it. You give in after 30 seconds.

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3606/3470276351_64c06294d1.jpg)

Well, duh.  We Scorpios can't resist shiny, red, candy-like buttons.

But do I get to wear my Strawberry Shortcake getup?
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:19:07 PM
^ NO! wait, YES!
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: AFK on July 27, 2010, 06:22:58 PM
I think when you do Scorpio you cover about half of pd.com

There seems to be a lot of us.

Which would explain a lot. 
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on July 27, 2010, 06:23:36 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:56:58 PM
Quote from: Joh'Nyx on July 27, 2010, 07:23:31 AM

Libra  :wink:

Attention Libra! I'm sorry to report that in the next few months you'll discover a large ugly lump on your neck. It's your HEAD! Mwaahaahaahaa! So don't pick at it, it'll just make it worse.

I want a new one. Zorak told me this years ago.

also, your avatar is KILLING ME!  :lulz:
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:35:04 PM
Quote from: Turdley Burgleson on July 27, 2010, 06:23:36 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:56:58 PM
Quote from: Joh'Nyx on July 27, 2010, 07:23:31 AM

Libra  :wink:

Attention Libra! I'm sorry to report that in the next few months you'll discover a large ugly lump on your neck. It's your HEAD! Mwaahaahaahaa! So don't pick at it, it'll just make it worse.

I want a new one. Zorak told me this years ago.

also, your avatar is KILLING ME!  :lulz:

I'll kill that crustacean!!

Your  partner deeply regrets the little tiff with your mother at your Uncle's funeral, especially the incident with the eyelids, elastic bands and matchsticks. It's time to make amends and heal the rift. Arrange a nice little family get together and make sure they get the chance to sit right next to each other.  At the same dinner your dad will have a skin tag cut off of his inner thigh next to his balls and he can't see it to
put a bandage on so he makes you do it
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on July 27, 2010, 06:57:37 PM
Capricorn?
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Khara on July 27, 2010, 06:57:37 PM
Capricorn?

You will die of venereal disease. You figure that you can put off washing your clothes for one more week. You are fantastic in bed this month but your personality more than counteracts this. You will be involved in a disastrous incident involving falling.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Eater of Clowns on July 27, 2010, 08:43:57 PM
AAARRRRIIIIIIEEEESSS
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 09:35:01 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 27, 2010, 08:43:57 PM
AAARRRRIIIIIIEEEESSS

yay, another Aries.

You don't do much of anything and are lazy. Do you split the month up between soup kitchens and playgrounds or is it more of a Jekyll and Hyde thing? But that's none of your concern as you become closely acquainted with the STD treatment business, something which will last the rest of your isolated itchy life.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Iason Ouabache on July 28, 2010, 03:53:54 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:45:54 PM
Quote from: DiscoUkulele on July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)

Quote from: Iason Ouabache on July 27, 2010, 06:20:16 AM
Quote from: DiscoUkulele on July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)
Ditto.

Attention, Taurus. Stop with the caveman fantasy, Conan, it's time you washed your hair. It smells funny. While you're at it you might as well wash ALL over. Stop using water conservation as an excuse to be stinky! You know why your girlfriend hasn't complained about it? 'Cause she won't come near ya, that's why.
:lulz: I'm pretty sure that neither me nor DU have a girlfriend right now.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Pæs on July 28, 2010, 01:02:32 PM
Quote from: Iason Ouabache on July 28, 2010, 03:53:54 AM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 05:45:54 PM
Quote from: DiscoUkulele on July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)

Quote from: Iason Ouabache on July 27, 2010, 06:20:16 AM
Quote from: DiscoUkulele on July 27, 2010, 06:08:18 AM
Taurus :)
Ditto.

Attention, Taurus. Stop with the caveman fantasy, Conan, it's time you washed your hair. It smells funny. While you're at it you might as well wash ALL over. Stop using water conservation as an excuse to be stinky! You know why your girlfriend hasn't complained about it? 'Cause she won't come near ya, that's why.
:lulz: I'm pretty sure that neither me nor DU have a girlfriend right now.
That you know of.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Dimocritus on July 29, 2010, 05:14:02 PM
Okay, Leo... But with my moon in Cancer.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 05:17:32 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:04:56 PM
Quote from: pharmakon on July 27, 2010, 02:36:11 PM
Cancer!

well anyways, the moral of the story is, you wack off onto your pillow and eat it.



:(  Dis is not healthy for Jenne. (who is pssst! Cancerian)
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on July 29, 2010, 06:09:15 PM
Quote from: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 05:17:32 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:04:56 PM
Quote from: pharmakon on July 27, 2010, 02:36:11 PM
Cancer!

well anyways, the moral of the story is, you wack off onto your pillow and eat it.



:(  Dis is not healthy for Jenne. (who is pssst! Cancerian)

Don't feel bad Jenne.....  look at mine.....

Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 07:11:19 PM
Quote from: Khara on July 27, 2010, 06:57:37 PM
Capricorn?

You will die of venereal disease. You figure that you can put off washing your clothes for one more week. You are fantastic in bed this month but your personality more than counteracts this. You will be involved in a disastrous incident involving falling.

After the last couple of months I had I really cried!!  :cry:
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 06:31:34 PM
Poor Khara, I guess by comparison, mine's pretty benign.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: pharmakon on July 29, 2010, 06:42:08 PM
Quote from: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 05:17:32 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:04:56 PM
Quote from: pharmakon on July 27, 2010, 02:36:11 PM
Cancer!

well anyways, the moral of the story is, you wack off onto your pillow and eat it.



:(  Dis is not healthy for Jenne. (who is pssst! Cancerian)

Horoscopes are rarely healthy for anyone. I liked this one though. Must avoid eating pillows in the future.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 06:45:11 PM
Quote from: pharmakon on July 29, 2010, 06:42:08 PM
Quote from: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 05:17:32 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:04:56 PM
Quote from: pharmakon on July 27, 2010, 02:36:11 PM
Cancer!

well anyways, the moral of the story is, you wack off onto your pillow and eat it.



:(  Dis is not healthy for Jenne. (who is pssst! Cancerian)

Horoscopes are rarely healthy for anyone. I liked this one though. Must avoid eating pillows in the future.


well...gives a new meaning to "cotton mouth"...
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on July 29, 2010, 07:30:35 PM
Quote from: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 06:45:11 PM
Quote from: pharmakon on July 29, 2010, 06:42:08 PM
Quote from: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 05:17:32 PM
Quote from: -Kel- on July 27, 2010, 06:04:56 PM
Quote from: pharmakon on July 27, 2010, 02:36:11 PM
Cancer!

well anyways, the moral of the story is, you wack off onto your pillow and eat it.



:(  Dis is not healthy for Jenne. (who is pssst! Cancerian)

Horoscopes are rarely healthy for anyone. I liked this one though. Must avoid eating pillows in the future.


well...gives a new meaning to "cotton mouth"...

Dear god, chili cheese fritos out the nose....

:argh!:

THE PAIN!!!

I'm still dying here.
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 07:31:47 PM
 :thanks:
Title: Re: got i'm bored....WHO WANTS A HORRORSCOPE?
Post by: pharmakon on July 29, 2010, 09:08:45 PM
Quote

Dear god, chili cheese fritos out the nose....


You should get that carved to your tombstone.