Script Feedback

[Demolition Squid]

So, the main project I've completed this year was a spec script and series pitch for a drama called the Entropy Resident in the System (which I think is a phrase that was coined here ages back). Its got a lot of discordian themes and I was (am?) pretty proud of it.

Unfortunately, the BBC rejected it without feedback (not entirely unexpected - they get a lot of scripts). It is currently entered into the Channel 4 competition - but as we're fast approaching the deadline for feedback there (20th) and I still haven't heard anything from them, I'm not too hopeful.

I'm probably going to enrol in a scriptwriting course next year, because most of the feedback I've been able to get hasn't been terribly helpful (mostly its just been 'yeah this is good' - but whilst I appreciate that, it doesn't help me improve as a writer). I was wondering if anyone here might like to have a look with a view towards areas of improvement?

If you are interested, shoot me a PM with an email address and I'll send it over.

[Doktor Howl]

I'd love to help, and I will later if you still need it, but I lack the time to do it properly at this time.

[Demolition Squid]

There's really no rush! Just drop me a PM when you've time.

Feedback is one of those things I think I'm always gonna need.

[hirley0]

So, the main project I've completed this year was a spec script and series pitch for a drama called the Entropy Resident in the System

Look? i have no GoOd idea about SpeC .
the "   Entropy   " part reminds me of the 80's
Mt St. Hellens at all = Iran/contra ERA
=
I call it I.con/Eron {never mind
one day over in the main lab
{getting a thermometer to check well water temp}
yeah it was 55° just as the head chemist told me it would be

i had a short chat with the head engineer?
he wanted to know what i was up to
Prior to the eruption (wrong Mt == HoOD
anyway in those days i learned the art of
turning off the 'tricity to OR {never mind
Or then was 2 ? Portland at 100
and the Al.co at 75 {got it
= he was talking power factor to me
A concept a bit over my head
& explained the result was
hanging about the plant  in
(Um} the Æthor was the diff
A BIG BUNCH of E ?/?
maybe 10 Mega
-
after i left they shut the plant down
No Comprenda'
i use matlab script y=1:3 x=y/2 plot(x,y) /


more ALL [POWER IN] - (power out) = {Power Hanging About}

[hirley0]

F=MA F=fooE M=me {Naurally & A=Λ { Greek letter Lamda