You will not be saved by Bernie or Bust. You will not be saved by making America great again. You will not be saved by Hillary Clinton, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Jill Stein or Whichever whacko they have running for the libertarian party.
The ones that might be able to save us know enough about the system that they won't bother. The other clowns, fools, and cheap hucksters are looking at the situation and seeing what they want to see, and we know how that ends up.
You will not be saved by single-payer health care or overturning Roe v Wade. It may take a village to raise a child, but the village is poor as dirt and the kids are all on meth. Quantitative easing didn't work on the economy, so let's apply it to student debt. Everyone should vote, but the delegates don't care. You will not be saved by the free market, because the free market doesn't exist and never will.
All of these ideas will fail because they run counter to two million years of monkey programming.
You will not be saved by the impossible drive, or the "poof, you're there" drive. You will not be saved by 800 billion "Earth-like" planets in the Milky Way. "Earth-like" isn't "Earth", even if we CAN get there, and just one tiny factor of an alien ecology could doom any number of colonists, unless you had time to do it right, and time is the one thing we do not have and cannot buy with our wealth. You will not be saved by Mars, because Mars is a death trap and living like a mole on another planet isn't "surviving". In any case, you and I won't be going, anyway.
There's nowhere to run. 7.5 billion primates gotta take a shit. Here it comes.
You will not be saved by Jesus, because that's the wrong kind of saving, and it's probably the wrong kind of Jesus, anyway. You will not be saved by Yahweh, Illtoy, Buddha, Allah, or Vishnu.
What made you think that was even on their agenda?
In short, you will not be saved, so relax; It's only slapstick.
So while you huddle among your possessions, waiting in terror for the day the lights go out and the faucet stops running and things get just a wee bit out of hand, remember the words that I - your spiritual adviser - told you, lo these many moons ago, and just dance like hell. Do the Lindy when Trump takes office. Do the Twist when we break off relations with everyone. Do the Charleston in the smoking ruins, to the beat of the car alarms and the screams of the horribly burned. Do the Running Man as you are shot for dinner by rogue remnants of the national guard.
This is, obviously, not a good era for people who aren't serious about having a good time.
Or Kill Me.
:mittens:
BUT WHAT ABOUT MY PET UTOPIA?! SURELY ALL IS NOT LOST SO LONG AS WE CAN JUST GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTA-
Oh.
ohh no.
:mittens:
Holy shit.
:mittens:
So,
QuoteIt may take a village to raise a child, but the village is poor as dirt and the kids are all on meth.
Hang on Cap'n Squamata, this seems too optimistic by far.
The reality is that the village is so poor Meth looks decidedly upper-lower-middle class. The village long ago resorted to mixing whatever is in the garage and under the sink together to see what makes a paste that can make your head go funny and arms drop out. Having a random organ recreate that scene from "Alien" is just a bonus. There's also less chance of ever escaping the village as the local towns are screaming something about austerity which means the village taxes must go up and everyone has to work for less money because reasons.
In the meantime, the local prophet of DOOM is screaming at the villagers that the taxes they must now pay to the town are their own fault. He's got a bit of a following and it's getting a little medieval. Apparently if we free the town from debts from 400 years ago then Robot Jesus will jump start the singularity or something.
In the other meantime, the local arms merchant is convincing the village bobby that his truncheon is no good against terrorist so he needs tanks and tanks to keep everyone safe. Terrorists sound quite scary so he's in for 4 tanks to cover the one road through the village. There's a lot of little lanes and stuff, but terrorists are apparently quite lazy. He'll get the rest of the village watching for anyone suspicious, just in case.
In the other other meantime the village landlord has been able to pretty much buy the entire town as everyone who did own anything has had to sell it to sort out the austerity and he was already the landlord of the rest anyway.
In the other other other meantime the other village bobbies are pretending to be activist villagers to infiltrate a sect of disloyal villagers talking about some kind of union. Clear heresy according to the Austerity prophet so these may be the terrorist we seek, bring the tanks.
In the other other other other meantime some villagers have headed to the settlement down the road to kick the living shit out of them and take whatever shit they've made since they were last there. They're kind of like the villages slaves, but they don't own them and they live over there so it makes it OK.
In the other other other other other meantime the town has passed a few laws that make many villagers criminals and the bobbies need to fill the new expensive jail. Those guys talking about that union thing are an easy start but we're not overly picky, really. The village is told to be happy about this as it's job creation and everyone needs more jobs because austerity. What do you mean you only have 3? I'd accuse you of being some kind of benefits seeking monster if the village hadn't already got rid of that. It did seem a bit harsh to take Tiny Tim's crutches but rules are rules and you've got to be fair. Anyway Tim's in jail now for aggressive begging and having no fixed address. The fines will fuck him for years, but it's clearly his own fault.
In the other other other other other other meantime there's a guy who can't even figure out how completely fucked up the village actually is, let alone find a way to start fixing the various levels of fucked. He then briefly pondered the possible extent of the woes of the Town and thinks that the only reasonable conclusion is Sledgehammer, Gerry Can and a Zippo. If these fuckers want to burn it all down, why not at least save some fucking time and beat them to it.
OR FUCKING KILL ME.
You SURE you're not in America?
:mittens:
Geographically, fairly.
Functionally, I'm not entirely sure.
Further to the above, it is worth dropping all metaphor and pretence for a moment to really look at the realities we are dealing with here.
Firstly, I live less than 30 miles from a town where Krokodil is a)known about and b)Apparently available. That dealers even know about it scares the shit out of me alone so use is practically a foregone conclusion to my mind. Prohibition will not spawn anything better so this kind of shit is a taste of things to come.
Secondly, Austerity is a political reality that no prominent political party or person is seeking to change, if they were even capable of it. In the UK's case, we can trace a proportion of this debt back to shit like the South Sea Company and the untold fuckery that went on. When you consider our more recent purchases, such as Aircraft carriers with no Aircraft, or the scrapping of various shit halfway through production why the finances are fucked becomes obvious. That Captia, for example, is even still a fucking trading company in the UK, let alone still allowed to be involved in government contracts beggars fucking belief. Cronyism is the old boys version of lobbying, the US will be there in a few more generations.
Fourthly (Third was aircraft carriers, pay attention) UK social housing has been so neglected it's practically non-existent. The figures for new social housing generally show that councils are not capable of producing 1 dwelling each. The obsession with ownership that Maggie helped along has resulted in the current mob trying to sell off anything that may be left and there is no power to actually make councils build replacement stock. The inevitable result is massive rents, occasional homelessness and bipolar daily mail headlines.
Fifthly, there are hearings ongoing in the UK right now for undercover police officers who have infiltrated political groups and done such fine investigative work as having children with them and then fucking off. That's the classy end of the tale and it just gets worse the more you get into it. The general police stance is confirm or deny nothing and keep asking nicely that it all be made secret please. We recently had the Hillsborough verdict so you know they're super trustworthy like that.
Sixthly, pretty much everything you own, use and often eat/drink involves slavery at some point. Just always worth remembering
Seventhly, the Trades blacklist was a massive fuck you and operated with impunity for years. I strongly suspect a version of it is still ongoing. We've also made the morally correct move to cut off various funding to disabled folk because of that bank fuckup or austerity or trident or I forget what bullshit the money was needed for, people fucking died and there's no way you can tell me that financial obligations to the past or a multinational entity or for fucking missiles are possibly as worthwhile to spend the money on. Not with a straight face and expect to keep the same smile.
And this is all but a fraction of the full shitshow from a country ranked #10 according the the Corruptions Perception Index. Anyone notice the latest on the Panama papers? Me neither. No problems here, move the fuck along.
ETA - Worth noting that's a joint 10th with Luxembourg. Surely enough said?
Quote from: Junkenstein on May 18, 2016, 02:23:50 AM
Firstly, I live less than 30 miles from a town where Krokodil is a)known about and b)Apparently available. That dealers even know about it scares the shit out of me alone so use is practically a foregone conclusion to my mind. Prohibition will not spawn anything better so this kind of shit is a taste of things to come.
We have that. It's how the dealers squeeze one more dollar out of broke addicts, while at the same time eliminating them as liabilities.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 18, 2016, 03:52:08 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on May 18, 2016, 02:23:50 AM
Firstly, I live less than 30 miles from a town where Krokodil is a)known about and b)Apparently available. That dealers even know about it scares the shit out of me alone so use is practically a foregone conclusion to my mind. Prohibition will not spawn anything better so this kind of shit is a taste of things to come.
We have that. It's how the dealers squeeze one more dollar out of broke addicts, while at the same time eliminating them as liabilities.
Every spring thaw in La Crosse brings small piles of needles scattered throughout the poorer neighborhoods. Guess who's former medical employer had internal rumors of MASSIVE stock shrink of such supplies along with who knows what else over the years.
It's been a long time since I read something, here or anywhere, that made me tear up and want to punch something to destruction.
But of course that wouldn't do even the slightest bit of good. Shit like that gets you noticed, properly labeled, and inventoried.
I have no idea what to do about any of it, but here's the mittens dammit
:mittens:
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on May 18, 2016, 05:41:41 AM
I have no idea what to do about any of it
As with any other form of entertainment - you watch and laugh and try your best to steer clear of the exploding scenery :evil:
Caught a new report about melting icecaps today - turns out it's ridiculously worse than any one imagined. Could be this year or next will approach biblical levels of hilarity
You know, it makes me feel a lot better reading about you guys' attitudes to our impending doom.
I feel like i'm a step behind - I can see all the shit happening but I am yet to embrace the horror and use it to sharpen my Grin.
Also, as another resident of the UK, Junkenstein's account of things rings totally true. Shit seems to be getting more fucked day by day.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 18, 2016, 03:52:08 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on May 18, 2016, 02:23:50 AM
Firstly, I live less than 30 miles from a town where Krokodil is a)known about and b)Apparently available. That dealers even know about it scares the shit out of me alone so use is practically a foregone conclusion to my mind. Prohibition will not spawn anything better so this kind of shit is a taste of things to come.
We have that. It's how the dealers squeeze one more dollar out of broke addicts, while at the same time eliminating them as liabilities.
On the other hand, if you're using this kind of crap, you're pretty fucking serious about having a good time. The same would like apply to the sellers.
Behold, the accidentally enlightened ones of our time. Give it 200 years and we'll consider these chaps as something similar to ascetic monks.
And P3nt, you may remember this is still a thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rolling_coal
I suspect these chaps have realised the truth of the situation and think the only moral thing to do is put us all out of our fucking misery.
Those guys are going to look out the front door one morning and see the flesh melting off their toddler's pretty face cos she's caught in an acid rain storm. I'll be laughing so hard most of my mates wont speak to me for weeks.
One of the funniest things Bill Hicks ever did was died of cancer, slap bang in the middle of the "Smoker with Attitude" tour :lulz:
We are the universe's punchline trying to get itself.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 18, 2016, 10:43:38 AM
Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on May 18, 2016, 05:41:41 AM
I have no idea what to do about any of it
As with any other form of entertainment - you watch and laugh and try your best to steer clear of the exploding scenery :evil:
Caught a new report about melting icecaps today - turns out it's ridiculously worse than any one imagined. Could be this year or next will approach biblical levels of hilarity
I'm pretty sure we're going to do even bigger things than that old rag has yet described.
OUR flooding will be full of the nuclear and other arcane chemical refuse of entire continents full of stockpiled horrors NEVER intended to be moved.
OUR plagues will be unlike anything to come before as the usual toxins and pathogens all pale next to the REALLY monsters of our own devising.
OUR raw, screeching paeans and pleas to gods and devils alike will be heard, but both will rightly and simply point out that we HAD free will.
Of course all this time we've had our oh so special free will we've never really had the truth.
Of course now the tragedy of having will without truth is about to bud a second wherein we learn it far too late.
Pretty sure of why we've found so many exo-planets per capita and no confirmation signs of intelligent life. The smart ones either fuck themselves to death or learn to enjoy what little they have left and not to make waves..
I consider free will to be one of those things that is either taken at face value or not. If we have it by default, I'm of the opinion it can be removed in varying degrees. Abdicated or taken, by circumstance, force or by subterfuge or a mixture of all three.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 18, 2016, 09:20:11 PM
I consider free will to be one of those things that is either taken at face value or not. If we have it by default, I'm of the opinion it can be removed in varying degrees. Abdicated or taken, by circumstance, force or by subterfuge or a mixture of all three.
We abdicate it quite a lot. I've noticed I do anyway. It's usually thoughtless.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 17, 2016, 06:37:03 PM
You will not be saved by Bernie or Bust. You will not be saved by making America great again. You will not be saved by Hillary Clinton, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Jill Stein or Whichever whacko they have running for the libertarian party.
The ones that might be able to save us know enough about the system that they won't bother. The other clowns, fools, and cheap hucksters are looking at the situation and seeing what they want to see, and we know how that ends up.
You will not be saved by single-payer health care or overturning Roe v Wade. It may take a village to raise a child, but the village is poor as dirt and the kids are all on meth. Quantitative easing didn't work on the economy, so let's apply it to student debt. Everyone should vote, but the delegates don't care. You will not be saved by the free market, because the free market doesn't exist and never will.
All of these ideas will fail because they run counter to two million years of monkey programming.
You will not be saved by the impossible drive, or the "poof, you're there" drive. You will not be saved by 800 billion "Earth-like" planets in the Milky Way. "Earth-like" isn't "Earth", even if we CAN get there, and just one tiny factor of an alien ecology could doom any number of colonists, unless you had time to do it right, and time is the one thing we do not have and cannot buy with our wealth. You will not be saved by Mars, because Mars is a death trap and living like a mole on another planet isn't "surviving". In any case, you and I won't be going, anyway.
There's nowhere to run. 7.5 billion primates gotta take a shit. Here it comes.
You will not be saved by Jesus, because that's the wrong kind of saving, and it's probably the wrong kind of Jesus, anyway. You will not be saved by Yahweh, Illtoy, Buddha, Allah, or Vishnu.
What made you think that was even on their agenda?
In short, you will not be saved, so relax; It's only slapstick.
So while you huddle among your possessions, waiting in terror for the day the lights go out and the faucet stops running and things get just a wee bit out of hand, remember the words that I - your spiritual adviser - told you, lo these many moons ago, and just dance like hell. Do the Lindy when Trump takes office. Do the Twist when we break off relations with everyone. Do the Charleston in the smoking ruins, to the beat of the car alarms and the screams of the horribly burned. Do the Running Man as you are shot for dinner by rogue remnants of the national guard.
This is, obviously, not a good era for people who aren't serious about having a good time.
Or Kill Me.
Nailed it again.
My gross prophet margin is increasing.
I don't spook easy Roger. Your accuracy is motherfucking spooky.
For my part I'm getting my dancing shoes ready.
Junkie sees it. P3nT sees it. The last great dance off of our era is just getting set up now. Tickets at the box office are for "plebs". I'm getting mine pre-ordered!
I don't want it, but that shit don't matter.